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GeorgeGrove

someone I know irl found me on this site...

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I saw someone I knew from work on another site. He had his face showing. I always keep mine private until I’m ready for someone to see it. As far as I know, this guy isn’t out so I didn’t say anything about it to anyone. I wouldn’t want my business dragged around work either. 

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A few years ago, I saw one of my son’s friends on grindr.  Nobody knows I like to get fucked by guys, and I make it clear on my profile that I only take it bare.  It didn’t looked like he viewed my profile before I blocked him.  That was a little freaky.  

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What I find really disconcerting is when some blank profile messages you on Grindr saying “hey, saw you earlier in the supermarket” or similar, then follows up with how about a fuck or “I’d like to do this to you” but refuses to send a pic of themselves. If guys want to meet IRL just send a pic and don’t say things that come across like some freaky stalker!

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3 hours ago, WelshBBCigarFuck said:

What I find really disconcerting is when some blank profile messages you on Grindr saying “hey, saw you earlier in the supermarket” or similar, then follows up with how about a fuck or “I’d like to do this to you” but refuses to send a pic of themselves. If guys want to meet IRL just send a pic and don’t say things that come across like some freaky stalker!

How often does this happen? The only thing remotely similar that ever happened to me was that years ago some random guy looking for a fuck pulled up in my driveway just as I had come home and was getting out of my car... with my mother. I told him to fuck for and then told mom it was some guy looking for directions. I suppose it would have been less of a lie to mom if I had told the guy to go to hell.

But while I get the creepy/stalkery thing, to what degree does it really disturb you to know that some Grindr guy knows who you are IRL, and so knowing, happened to see you out somewhere? Is it just the I-know-about-you-but-you-don’t-know-about-me lack of parity? Does it feel somehow threatening? We tend to think of ourselves as safely anonymous on apps like Grindr, but especially if we’re active in our local area, once we’ve made an actual hookup or three, people talk amongst themselves, and suddenly lots of people know who the person is behind our profile where we announce to the world that we take it up the ass. I think the saying goes something like: A secret between two is secret; a secret between three is known to all.

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I just had an experience where a guy I only started texting on an app was "taking a drive" and supposedly just happened to be near my house.  He kept on messaging me saying he was really close and driving slowly by houses to check distances and said this showed how much he wanted me.  I never said I wanted to hook and never gave my address.   We just started chatting. I blocked him and saw a car drive slowly by in my neighborhood.  Crazy shit.

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A fbud of mine broke it off suddenly and disappeared from the app.  I was puzzled.  A few weeks later he popped back on and apologized.  His college aged stepson found him online.  They were home together in different rooms both on Grindr at the same time.  He freaked out.  They've since talked and agreed it's no one else's business but he's stopped messing with guys for now.  He's married and thought it better to preserve the marriage until the stepson finished college and moved out. 

I have come across guys at work online - One messaged me - "why are you on here - don't you have a boyfriend?"  from 25 ft away.  They didn't have a picture.  Blocked them and never heard a peep.  

I also have a bud though that says he goes to the bathhouse with guys from work - they pick a day and just go as a group after work.   There's no one at the office I find that attractive that I'd go there.   But he is hot as fuck and if I worked with him, I'd probably go, just so I could fuck him.  lol.  

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6 hours ago, ErosWired said:

How often does this happen? The only thing remotely similar that ever happened to me was that years ago some random guy looking for a fuck pulled up in my driveway just as I had come home and was getting out of my car... with my mother. I told him to fuck for and then told mom it was some guy looking for directions. I suppose it would have been less of a lie to mom if I had told the guy to go to hell.

But while I get the creepy/stalkery thing, to what degree does it really disturb you to know that some Grindr guy knows who you are IRL, and so knowing, happened to see you out somewhere? Is it just the I-know-about-you-but-you-don’t-know-about-me lack of parity? Does it feel somehow threatening? We tend to think of ourselves as safely anonymous on apps like Grindr, but especially if we’re active in our local area, once we’ve made an actual hookup or three, people talk amongst themselves, and suddenly lots of people know who the person is behind our profile where we announce to the world that we take it up the ass. I think the saying goes something like: A secret between two is secret; a secret between three is known to all.

Well I’ve had one guy decide to bug me off and on for months, saying he’d seen me out and how he’d like to do things to me. When I declined as I don’t do blind meets he got abusive and ended with him telling me “I’ll see you around”, now that was creepy so I blocked him. A week or so later, same type of thing again as he just created a new blank profile.

I’ve also had a 16yo on the same street as where I live nagging me to let him blow me or for me to fuck him. Again no idea who he is as no picture but frankly you don’t shit in your backyard so declined (yes he is legal, but would I really want the potential fallout if his parents took exception). He’ll message saying he saw me in the street and would I like him to call over. I know he’s around 250ft from me, but other than that no idea.

I don’t have a problem with people I know in real life seeing me on an app, I do have a problem when creepy or obsessive people proceed to make a nuisance of themselves and not take no as an answer.

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6 hours ago, Kayne said:

the thing that I find disconcerting is that it was a 14 year old. of for no other reason than the legal quagmire that speaks of!

All 14 year old's are online and the average pubescent boy is hormone driven... so not a huge shock.

Depends on your local legislation if there are legal issues to consider. Where I love the legal age is 16.  But it can be somewhere between 14 en 18 around the world, sometimes different and a higher age of concept for gay sex.

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Have only been caught online in one of the chat boards once by a neighbor's older son. Didn't go anywhere except a mutual agreement of non disclosure.

Have been caught at the baths and book stores several times by guys I know from various areas and once by my brother in law's brother, while he was sucking me off at one of the book stores that I went to a lot.

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I had someone stalk me on Grindr once; he figured out who I was and where I worked and actually stole my phone and called me with it. He gave it back but took my SD card. 
 

That really freaked me out at the time but it was a younger guy (like 20 or so) and I was 29 and definitely wasn’t going to report it 

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On 1/17/2021 at 6:50 PM, Cuteguy69 said:

Me it’s health care giving my name to check my Facebook account to see if it’s from me or them gaving me this std

What?.. that’s crazy and huge breech of privacy I never give names to public health anymore and follow up responsibly myself because I find them overly aggressive.

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