Hypocrite in LGBTQ+

[Gayasian]

Is most people in LGBTQ+ community a hypocrite?

I saw a profile on a hook up app, in his profile he say he don't like racism and bigoted guys but when I message him he just racially abuse me and block me.

Do anyone have the same problems or is it just for minorities only?

[Sharmercharmer]

Not had that problem, how are you

[SpectreAgent]

3 hours ago, Gayasian said:

Is most people in LGBTQ+ community a hypocrite?

I saw a profile on a hook up app, in his profile he say he don't like racism and bigoted guys but when I message him he just racially abuse me and block me.

Do anyone have the same problems or is it just for minorities only?

Look on the positive (no pun intended) side: you've been saved from hooking up with an obvious jerk. I recently chatted to a guy on FabGuys in the UK. His ad specified that he was looking for bareback sex. I was honest with him about my status and he turned vile - asserting that he never plays with + or +UD guys ever. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have reacted but there was something about his nastiness that riled me. I told him tersely that if he regularly plays bareback, he will have - and will again - encounter guys who aren't as honest about their status as I am and maybe, just maybe, he might have cause to reconsider his attitude at some point.

I state on profiles on other sites that I have no interest in chatting to, or hooking up with, guys who use "clean" to descibe their or others' status. But I still get messaged by guys who do. They get awfully defensive and cross when I point they clearly haven't read my profile. That isn't the same as the racism you encountered, and I wouldn't pretend it is. But the sad fact of online life is that sometimes people don't read profiles. Or maybe the guy you encountered just gets off on hurting and insulting people. I have come across that, but thankfully it is rare. There was one guy in Manchester who haunted Scruff, luring guys in until they'd been chatting a while after which he'd turn on them with the most hideous insults and then block. I understand he did it once too often... He certainly hasn't been much of an online presence recently. By stating on his profile that he doesn't like racism or bigots and then demonstrating both in his dealings with you, it suggests the guy you messaged has a similar modus operandi. Fortunately, such cases aren't the norm. If I were charitable, I would conclude guys who do that are very unhappy souls inside. But I am not charitable.

What you encountered is unacceptable. It's easy to say just ignore it, but it isn't always as simple as that. But you can be sure that decent guys don't judge on skin colour, religion, class... And if anyone else puts you down, it will almost certainly be more a reflection on him than it ever could on you.

 

 

 

Edited April 15, 2021 by RawPlug
Clarity

[BlackDude]

4 hours ago, Gayasian said:

Is most people in LGBTQ+ community a hypocrite?

I saw a profile on a hook up app, in his profile he say he don't like racism and bigoted guys but when I message him he just racially abuse me and block me.

Do anyone have the same problems or is it just for minorities only?

Here we go again...this will be fun.....

[danceagain]

that's nothing new

[evilqueerpig]

I let go of my prejudices when I came out as QUEER, but I only speak for myself.  Unfortunately, others can't let go of their biases.

[BBArchangel]

8 hours ago, Gayasian said:

Is most people in LGBTQ+ community a hypocrite?

I saw a profile on a hook up app, in his profile he say he don't like racism and bigoted guys but when I message him he just racially abuse me and block me.

Do anyone have the same problems or is it just for minorities only?

I would suggest the amount of hypocrisy in the gay community is no more and no less than in general society. It just stings more when it comes from our own.

Some years ago when I had more spare time, I proposed to one of my publishers a book I would call ASSHOLES OF GRINDR. It would be a collection of the shittiest, most moronic profiles posted there. Things like “Open to all body-types, but no fats, no fems, and nobody over 40. Big dicks only. Should be employed and willing to support an amazing art student through college.” (Actual profile - I kept my notes just in case someday). But other projects came up and I never actually did that.

Assholes like that are just a fact of life. I’m sorry this guy offended you. 

[Close2MyBro]

I tend to see a lot of hypocrisy in the gay community. So many preach "acceptance" and are quick to condemn others but are severely intolerant of anything that doesn't serve their immediate selfish needs or fit their image of what a perfect gay man should be.

[evilalex]

15 hours ago, Gayasian said:

Is most people in LGBTQ+ community a hypocrite?

I saw a profile on a hook up app, in his profile he say he don't like racism and bigoted guys but when I message him he just racially abuse me and block me.

Do anyone have the same problems or is it just for minorities only?

Sorry that happened to you.

[ejaculaTe]

13 hours ago, RawPlug said:

But the sad fact of online life is that sometimes people don't read profiles.

Instead of "sometimes," I'd say it's a dead certainty.

[Guest]

Probably most or even all people are hypocrites. 
And everyone has prejudices so when one is part of a minority it's something one encounters on a regular basis.

The only way out of this is pointing out the abuse, bigotry, prejudices and the discrimination that's the result of these. And hopefully through a dialogue of some kind people will learn and will try to be better. Shame this won't happen overnight and as a part of any minority one can't 'force' the majority to change 'cause they'll have to want to hear, listen and empathise with the position of someone else.

The greatest strides forward have been realised by giants like the reverend King, Gandhi etc. who have in common they brought an enormous level of respect to the conversation. Respect is key; as In the words of Harvey Fierstein (a giant in his own right in my view):

"There's nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect and anyone who can't give me those two things has no place in my life.”

 

Having said all this:  Sorry this happened to you, bro. And I sense you do respect yourself and that's good.

I hope you never forget these kinds of things say everything about them - and in this case this guy - and nothing about you or your worth. 

❤️

[bbzh]

You need to develop a thick skin if...

1. you're gay and cruising strangers online for sex.

2. You need an even thicker skin if you are part of a minority group (pick your tribe) within a minority group (eg gays) and cruising strangers online for sex. 

If 2 (above) applies to you, the moment you decide to focus on those who pursue you, the smoother things will go. I might send a flirt to a guy that I find hot, but as a general rule of thumb, I do not approach guys at all. I let them come to me. Sure, I miss out on a few opportunities, but my feelings don't get hurt either. These apps have got most people thinking they're entitled to the attention (and validation) of complete strangers. I know people on here disagree with me when I say it, but I don't get how one can be so butt hurt over a complete stranger not responding to them or liking them back. We don't go up to complete strangers on the street and expect to be engaged and to be fucked because we are interested, but someone this logic falls away as soon as we open an app. 🤷‍♂️  There could be 10 other guys wanting to fuck us silly and yet we are pouting over some asshole? Gimme a break 🥴. 

[cumdump943]

i have a very very big social network & if i encounter this kind of behaviour i will give the person such a bad reputation that they will find it impossible to make a date, so buyers can beware - i had it recently myself some rudeguybe wanted to make a date with me but as i mentioned before his profile was already discussed so when he approached me, i refused telling him why because his bad reputation proceded him for always being rude & obnoxious. he did not know what to say when confronted with the truth.

People like this should be exposed.

[BlackDude]

Unpopular Opinion Coming:

Not aimed at this poster in particular, because I don’t know him, but if we really want to help with the racism problem online and in the “gay community,” we need to call it all out, not just when inhibits sexual and social access to white guys. 
 
Unfortunately, many (a lot them born in the US) Latino, Asian and middle eastern gay men only see themselves as a minority when the white guy doesn’t want to have sex with them or they are not invited to the dinner party. Any other time, They are telling themselves they have some honorary white or buffer class status and will participate, deflect or even defend racist activities. I’ve said it many times: most of the racism I have experienced in the gay community has been from these groups. Some will do, listen to, say or put up with anything to be with a white guy. And we wonder why some of these dudes are so bold about it?
 

As a whole, Black, white, Asian and Latino and other men really need to stop pumping up these racists guys egos. I mean look at the post a few months back about the guy in the capital riot. You had a lot of dudes online still putting on the cape for this guy, ready to fuck.    (including Asians and latinos). 
 

In regards to this post, I would laugh it off. A lot of folks have deep seeded issues about their own viability (I.e. they ain’t all that) and I wouldn’t be surprised in five years if he contacted you trying to fuck. We had a bartender in our city who was known for appropriating elements of black culture. He was “white only” of course and made no bones about it online. Well now that the bartending job, the six pack abs and the downtown apartment is gone, but the bad habits are still there, guess who hits me up online years later?! Hilarious. 

 

 Nothing reverses the racist thoughts of some gay men like time.

Edited April 18, 2021 by BlackDude