Question for neg bottoms that has a undetectable poz top

[hotguy02]

Plz forgive if I posted it on the wrong thread.     I'm a 37 year old bottom who is neg my top daddy is 63 and he is poz undetectable. He's on his meds and I'm not on prep he's been breeding me since I was 22 he was neg in the beginning but as of approximately 5yrs he told me that he was plz undetectable.  Lately he's been in the mood for strictly me sucking him and swallowing his load.      I'm not interested in being pozzed But if it happens well I'll deal with it but what are the chances of getting pozzed by taking his load in my mouth and swallowing?   Should I be worried?

[iman2004]

Chances are low for oral in any case, but undetectable = untransmittable..

[BootmanLA]

16 hours ago, iman2004 said:

Chances are low for oral in any case, but undetectable = untransmittable..

Correct.

But OP: You said he was negative in the beginning, but as of about 5 years ago he told you he was poz undetectable. There's a lot going on between those things that needs to be explored.

Assuming he's being honest that he was negative to start with, were you actively having sex at the time he was pozzed? You were most at risk not long after he was infected, and until a few months into his treatment. Did he tell you immediately that he was poz, before reaching undetectable, or did he keep having sex and only fess up to being poz once he was undetectable?

If there's any chance he wasn't 100% truthful at all points, you should get on PrEP (in part because it'll keep you getting tested regularly). Even if he IS truthful, the way to protect yourself best is NOT to rely on him to be UD, but for you to be essentially uninfectable, via PrEP. Because while it's true that UD=UT, that puts 100% of your eggs in the basket of him being and remaining undetectable. It's turning over control of your health to another person. That's always, ALWAYS a bad idea.

[hotguy02]

On 6/7/2021 at 7:58 PM, BootmanLA said:

Correct.

But OP: You said he was negative in the beginning, but as of about 5 years ago he told you he was poz undetectable. There's a lot going on between those things that needs to be explored.

Assuming he's being honest that he was negative to start with, were you actively having sex at the time he was pozzed? You were most at risk not long after he was infected, and until a few months into his treatment. Did he tell you immediately that he was poz, before reaching undetectable, or did he keep having sex and only fess up to being poz once he was undetectable?

If there's any chance he wasn't 100% truthful at all points, you should get on PrEP (in part because it'll keep you getting tested regularly). Even if he IS truthful, the way to protect yourself best is NOT to rely on him to be UD, but for you to be essentially uninfectable, via PrEP. Because while it's true that UD=UT, that puts 100% of your eggs in the basket of him being and remaining undetectable. It's turning over control of your health to another person. That's always, ALWAYS a bad idea.

Well I remember the last time we had sex before he told me he was poz.  He came to my house and fucked me but didn't cum he stopped and said he wasn't into the moment so we just cuddled.   A few months later he said I should get tested bc he found out he was poz and said he didn't want to have sex with me until he was on his medication so although I love this Man I was willing to still have sex with him and he offered to use a condom but we never did have sex during this time  He later told me months later that he was on meds and was undetectable.  He bought me a home test kit and I came back neg.   We started having sex and he came in me lots of times. And said he doesn't want me to be pozzed and said he'd feel bad if he converted me. So I feel he'd being sincere. He told me he doesn't want me to take prep.  So I'm not on prep .   He cums in my mouth a lot and I always swallow.    Why do you think he doesn't want me to get on prep. I'm just curious now.  I prefer to stay negative but I can't b mad at him if he converted me accidentally

[BootmanLA]

17 hours ago, hotguy02 said:

Well I remember the last time we had sex before he told me he was poz.  He came to my house and fucked me but didn't cum he stopped and said he wasn't into the moment so we just cuddled.   A few months later he said I should get tested bc he found out he was poz and said he didn't want to have sex with me until he was on his medication so although I love this Man I was willing to still have sex with him and he offered to use a condom but we never did have sex during this time  He later told me months later that he was on meds and was undetectable.  He bought me a home test kit and I came back neg.   We started having sex and he came in me lots of times. And said he doesn't want me to be pozzed and said he'd feel bad if he converted me. So I feel he'd being sincere. He told me he doesn't want me to take prep.  So I'm not on prep .   He cums in my mouth a lot and I always swallow.    Why do you think he doesn't want me to get on prep. I'm just curious now.  I prefer to stay negative but I can't b mad at him if he converted me accidentally

I can't imagine why he wouldn't want you on PrEP, unless he thinks you'll feel free to sleep with other guys bareback if you don't have to worry about them infecting you. But you'd have to ask him "why" to be sure. Assuming he tells you the truth. 

[hotguy02]

On 6/9/2021 at 7:29 PM, BootmanLA said:

I can't imagine why he wouldn't want you on PrEP, unless he thinks you'll feel free to sleep with other guys bareback if you don't have to worry about them infecting you. But you'd have to ask him "why" to be sure. Assuming he tells you the truth. 

I'm assuming he doesn't want me on prep for the reason that he doesn't want me to cheat or play with other tops.     Idk that is just My thought.       He said no prep bc and well I didn't object.   I only have sexual relationship with him.    He on the other hand has a few boys he plays with other than me who are poz undetectable.  According to him.   

[PupLucca]

On 6/7/2021 at 2:31 AM, hotguy02 said:

Plz forgive if I posted it on the wrong thread.     I'm a 37 year old bottom who is neg my top daddy is 63 and he is poz undetectable. He's on his meds and I'm not on prep he's been breeding me since I was 22 he was neg in the beginning but as of approximately 5yrs he told me that he was plz undetectable.  Lately he's been in the mood for strictly me sucking him and swallowing his load.      I'm not interested in being pozzed But if it happens well I'll deal with it but what are the chances of getting pozzed by taking his load in my mouth and swallowing?   Should I be worried?

Slim and none are your chances. And if as you say you’ve been taking his loads for 15 yrs what does it matter?

[LetsPOZBreed]

14 hours ago, hotguy02 said:

I'm assuming he doesn't want me on prep for the reason that he doesn't want me to cheat or play with other tops.     Idk that is just My thought.       He said no prep bc and well I didn't object.   I only have sexual relationship with him.    He on the other hand has a few boys he plays with other than me who are poz undetectable.  According to him.   

Ok, that compounds the issue.  You're not just trusting your partner, but you're trusting your partner's partners.  You can even extrapolate that further into partner's partners' partners...  That's not just multiplying your risk, that's exponential (sorry for the math lesson here).  I would assume (actually I would strongly HOPE) that you're getting tested regularly to be somewhat sure of your own current status?

[LetsPOZBreed]

I just KNEW this thread sounded vaguely familiar.  

@hotguy02 we've heard this before...from you, specifically.  Always this concern about not being allowed to go on PrEP and so forth.  I'm going to borrow a line from the incomperable Whoopi Goldberg...

Molly, you in danger, gurl!

To answer your specific question at the beginning...swallowing cum is a very low-risk activity to begin with.  Exceptions would be if you have open mouth sores or are prone to bleeding from your gums.  This risk is present broadly speaking, but much more so with detectable guys.  Undetectable is practically a non-existent risk.

To go off on a tangent (because I feel the need to state it again, in no uncertain terms)....

I don't know you; I doubt we'll ever meet in person.  But the number of posts of yours that I've read about your "allegedly" undetectable daddy are making me doubt the veractiy of his claim.  And I don't really have a dog in that fight between the two of you.  I suspect with the occasional leading post of yours that you have these small doubts in the back of your mind.  This is unhealthy (mentally).  I implore you to do something about this before it becomes unhealthy physically...if it hasn't gotten there already.  

[BootmanLA]

18 hours ago, hotguy02 said:

I'm assuming he doesn't want me on prep for the reason that he doesn't want me to cheat or play with other tops.     Idk that is just My thought.       He said no prep bc and well I didn't object.   I only have sexual relationship with him.    He on the other hand has a few boys he plays with other than me who are poz undetectable.  According to him.   

Here's my thought on that: RUN. If he doesn't live with you, change your locks, change your phone if need be, get a restraining order if you have to. If you live together, find a place you can get away to, then do it. Leave what you can't take and consider it abandoned.

Sound overly dramatic? *Anyone* who is trying to control your body to the extent of denying your right to protect yourself against infection with a disease that could kill you, does not have ANY of your interests at heart. None. Zippo. Period.

As I see this:

1. You're entrusting your health to his compliance with HIV treatment. No, scratch that; you're entrusting your health to what he SAYS is his compliance with HIV treatment. Unless you know what the medications look like, and you witness him taking them EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.WITHOUT.FAIL, you actually *know* nothing about his status, his undetectability, and so forth.

2. As others have pointed out: setting HIV aside, if he's playing raw with others, he could easily pick up another STI, and pass that on to you as well. There's no way to avoid that if you're having bareback sex, but if you were on PrEP, you would at least be getting tested regularly for other infections as well, and thus stand a chance of getting them treated before they become serious.

3. While I recognize that some people have differing sex drives and thus the one with the lower drive doesn't mind if his partner has "outside the relationship" sex, that doesn't appear to be the case here. He's claiming a right for himself that he refuses to acknowledge for you. Even with a more experienced submissive, I'd caution him to be very, very sure that's a tradeoff he's willing to make in a relationship, because that's a big flashing warning sign with red strobe lights telling you this is about controlling you. And entering into a relationship where one partner exerts substantial control over the other is something that should only be done with eyes open wide, full discussion, and clear understandings of what's ok and not ok - and an acknowledgment by the controlling person that the controllee - you - has the right to end that AT ANY TIME. I look at you saying ""and well I didn't object" and that tells me you two didn't discuss the terms of this relationship at all - he dictated, you went along. And frankly, that's essentially an admission that you're not mature enough to MAKE that kind of informed decision - because you didn't take advantage of that opportunity to become informed. You should have asked why it was important to him that you not be on PrEP.

I don't mean this to be critical of you per se - everyone of us was naive at one time. I just think you have a long ways to go before you shed that.

[ejaculaTe]

6 hours ago, LetsPOZBreed said:

I just KNEW this thread sounded vaguely familiar.  

@hotguy02 we've heard this before...from you, specifically.  Always this concern about not being allowed to go on PrEP and so forth. 

This thread might be the one you're thinking of:  "Curious but confused bottom," started Oct. 14, 2020, in General Discussion.

[LetsPOZBreed]

4 hours ago, ejaculaTe said:

This thread might be the one you're thinking of:  "Curious but confused bottom," started Oct. 14, 2020, in General Discussion.

That's one, but there's a second one as well (I forget the name, but posted around the same time)

[hotguy02]

23 hours ago, PupLucca said:

Slim and none are your chances. And if as you say you’ve been taking his loads for 15 yrs what does it matter? true I guess you have a good point

 

[hotguy02]

12 hours ago, LetsPOZBreed said:

I just KNEW this thread sounded vaguely familiar.  

@hotguy02 we've heard this before...from you, specifically.  Always this concern about not being allowed to go on PrEP and so forth.  I'm going to borrow a line from the incomperable Whoopi Goldberg...

Molly, you in danger, gurl!

To answer your specific question at the beginning...swallowing cum is a very low-risk activity to begin with.  Exceptions would be if you have open mouth sores or are prone to bleeding from your gums.  This risk is present broadly speaking, but much more so with detectable guys.  Undetectable is practically a non-existent risk.

To go off on a tangent (because I feel the need to state it again, in no uncertain terms)....

I don't know you; I doubt we'll ever meet in person.  But the number of posts of yours that I've read about your "allegedly" undetectable daddy are making me doubt the veractiy of his claim.  And I don't really have a dog in that fight between the two of you.  I suspect with the occasional leading post of yours that you have these small doubts in the back of your mind.  This is unhealthy (mentally).  I implore you to do something about this before it becomes unhealthy physically...if it hasn't gotten there already.  

Sorry if I bother you with this I just need advice thanks

[NEDenver]

It’s not “bothering”.  It’s an issue that seems to be recurring for you.  A lot of the time, people don’t even realize it.  But I’ll echo the people above:  get on Prep at the very least , and seriously reconsider the current relationship for a healthier one.