Scared of taking POZ load on PrEP

[FFistFetish]

Hey guys,

33 yrs chubby bottom guy on PrEP here. I am on this site for some years now reading and following all the talk on prep, pozzing etc. and thought I would be comfortable with finally barebacking fearlessly since I'm on PrEP now...

Now I am visiting my hometown and am writing with a guy that the last time we talked was undetectable. So I contacted him wanting to hook up, to which he happily aggreed... after some talking and horny chats he told me that he is at the moment detectable and would love to share his load with me.

Now I am both hard, conflicted and scared... I'm on PrEP but this knowingly taking a poz load totally fucks with my mind? Do I really want this? Do I want it if he has a resistant strain? Did I contact him because I knew he had it even if undetectable? Will my safe-sex-only BF that finally agreed to let me BB on PrEP leave ne if he gets to know this?

I just don't if I should or want to go through with it. How did you experience taking you first knowingly detectable load? Any advice on making my decision?

PS: we are texting now... he made me say that I want it from him 🙈

 

 

 

[Faggotwhore72]

Well even prep cant assure you not getting infected, so my advice: Leave barebacking or take the risk

love being fucked not knowing what will happen

[FFistFetish]

Yes you are right and my head is aware of the risk... it just fucks so hard with what i have jekred off to in the last years vs. what i allowed me to actually do...

[leatherpunk16]

This is actually what the Prep was designed for. So if one finds themselves in such a situation, they can still be a ho and do so with no headaches about it. 

If you're doing Prep and taking it correctly, your chances of exposure are almost zero.

[FFistFetish]

Yes you are right and I should take the chance now with a guy that i seem to connect with also on other levels than just being a next shag...

[Hairypiglet]

6 hours ago, leatherpunk16 said:

This is actually what the Prep was designed for. So if one finds themselves in such a situation, they can still be a ho and do so with no headaches about it. 

If you're doing Prep and taking it correctly, your chances of exposure are almost zero.

Undetectable is untransmittable.

On PrEP is unreceptive.

The statistics are down to the billionth.

If you take your meds regularly or if he takes his regularly you can fuck with near reckless abandon. If both of you are on meds (even if he is mildly detectable) then it's actually safer than fucking someone with a condom who is not on meds.

There is a lot of confusion and fear in the growing acceptance of what modern science and medication have come to understand about HIV. It is actually becoming more and more difficult to transmit, even when we want it to.

Some men actively chase toxic loads for years. Both of my boys did. And they both remained neg until I came along. One took repeated regular fucking without lube for months. The other took a month of extreme fucking and blood-swapping.

You've been following the site a long time so you've seen how many of the chasers are constantly at it trying to get pozzed for months or years before their chase is over.

One toxic load is not going to convert you.

Get him to fuck you repeatedly and keep your lose and worn out hole filled with cum all weekend and you might. But a once and done most likely won't do it.

[FFistFetish]

Thanks so much for the assurance and comfort. I think your boys are lucky to have such a great relationship to you.

My nerves are still down. I think I will wait with the date for now until i have solved these feelings inside of me.

[BootmanLA]

I'll add a little more info here:

1. The guy says he's detectable. That covers a WIDE range of HIV levels - anything from just barely detectable up to full-blown AIDS and toxic. The closer he is to the undetectable end of the scale, the less risk there is with you on PrEP. 

2. If this guy knows you've ever expressed even a slight fantasy about being fucked by a detectable top, he might be bullshitting you just to see if you'll give in to that fantasy, thinking he's detectable when he may well not be. I wouldn't count on that, but it's something to consider.

[FFistFetish]

I cannot know his actual virus level since he did not react to this question. He only told me he ist on a break between switching meds due to severe side effects. So it could be in any range now.

We came to this topic after he disclosed that he is detectable atm - or maybe because of it. You are right, maybe he is toying with my fantasy, or maybe it is kind of a revenge because I had already asked for cancelling a date when not on prep.

the only thing i know is, that he is and was acting like he understands my thoughts and hesitation then and now about cancelling.

[Guest Cumpig4tops]

I took over 50 loads my first year on prep after that I will never use condoms! The cum in my ass makes me feel free! People complain about STD I don’t and I had 4 in 6 years of being a cum hungry slut! 

[wood]

If you consistently take prep as directed, your chance of becoming hiv+ is about as good as you winning a large lottery jackpot.   It’s just not gonna happen. 

[budapest]

Fantasy meets reality, just be sure you are taking your prep medication correctly, even double dose the day before your encounter. If you do go ahead, just enjoy it and if you don't maybe get him to fuck you wrapped and take it further from there?

[Guest]

On 7/10/2021 at 12:15 AM, FFistFetish said:

PS: we are texting now... he made me say that I want it from him 🙈

He 'made' you say that...?
Bro, I mean this in the nicest possible way but: grow up. 

It's your body and your lust, nobody can 'make' you do anything just by talking and in this caste texting to you.

Just stick to you're PrEP regime and it should protect you as that's what it's for... Protecting you from infection by taking toxic sperm.
Or not (still your choice and not someone else's) and run the risk of catching Hiv.

 

[FFistFetish]

Hey guys,

thanks a ton for all your messages and the encouragement and perspectives to review. In the meantime, I have met with two guys, one neg and one undetectable and had a fabulous time. The sex with the undetectable guy was very intimate and it kind of calms me down that when the time has come, I can let my mind wander to enjoying a very intimate moment rather than listening to my self doubts.

On 7/13/2021 at 7:38 AM, BareLover666 said:

Bro, I mean this in the nicest possible way but: grow up. 

Great advice thanks and will take this to my heart. Just don't assume that actual age also means maturity in all facets of a human being. Yes, I am living my kinky side since 12 years or so. Still barebacking and admitting to want to receive POZ loads is some new aspect that I am seeking out in my live now. So that's why I asked and thanks to your and the others comments, I can grow into accepting what I really want inside of me after a live of being told that these desires are wrong.

[Guest]

Good to read this bro. You're making your own way and decisions and not dancing to somebody else's tune.

Keep it up and feel a bit proud about yourself. 
And have fun.

Edited July 18, 2021 by Guest