cheating for the first time

[Phxdork]

So have you done it yet?  Should before lockdown 2.0

[Guest]

59 minutes ago, Phxdork said:

So have you done it yet?  Should before lockdown 2.0

Not yet, been close a few times then timing doesn't work out. 

[Phxdork]

11 minutes ago, Dcbbslut123 said:

Not yet, been close a few times then timing doesn't work out. 

Oh well, where there's a will there's a way. Incidentally, I really hope one of you is named Will LOL LOL

[Phxdork]

Hey anything new happening with this?

[Guest]

I have been slammed with work so haven't had time to really think about it. Yesterday was the first time I was on sniffies browsing for a while lol. Hoping things allow me to connect soon 

[PigBoyDallas]

Curious to hear if you pulled the trigger and started cheating. There’s lots of guys out there who not only don’t care you’re cheating on you BF but where that’s a turn on like me. I’d gladly breed your hole!

[Powerasianbtms]

On 8/13/2021 at 9:14 PM, Phxdork said:

I am so committed to this idea that I am here by offering myself to any attached man reading this.

 me too

[slsleazybreeder]

On 8/19/2021 at 4:26 PM, NastyRigPig said:

I always find that an interesting strategy.  BF brings up the subject of opening the relationship.  If you say no, you’re pretty much setting yourself up to be cheated on.  It’s best to acknowledge that he wants something more, possibly something freaky you aren’t in to, so if you’re still in to each other, it’s usually best to go along and you do the same.  Don’t sit home pining for what was, because that will never be again.  Go out and get your cakes worked over as well. 

Agreed, and even pursued. I tried it and only played with my ex, but he still thought it wasn't enough and caused so much drama at the end. But since we're all men, unless the foundation is just so strong and you're not in your 20/30's, they bound to cheat. But it's not a 1 to 1 thing; you don't have to cheat even if the other does. Karma is really a bitch I tell ya.

[fskn]

On 8/18/2021 at 3:53 PM, Dcbbslut123 said:

He's vetoed opening things up. 

What does he expect to happen?

When I told my ex-husband that I'd been fucking, getting blown by, and blowing other guys for years, I had to explain the obvious to him: you refuse to open things up, you stop putting out often, and then what do you expect?

I always kept my cheating in perspective. Whereas I restricted my activities to the physical (no love, few regulars) my ex had fallen head-over-heels in love with a guy online. 🙄 Talk about a double standard!

Incidentally, seeing a man I love get fucked by others is a huge turn on for me, as is knowing that he's "cheating". (The quotes are there because I reject the whole concept. I don't believe I have the right to limit another person's sexual activity. This is doubly true if I claim to to love the person. Control ⇏ love.) I had tried many times to line up guys to fuck my ex while I was away traveling, but he'd just meet them platonically. So dull! I fucked several of his friends before he did. To make a long story short, I would have been overjoyed to "share" him with his new love interest, but he once again wasn't interested in an open relationship.

Here's hoping that you will soon have some fun on the side, @Dcbbslut123. Please keep us posted!

[hntnhole]

Posted August 18, 2021

  On 8/13/2021 at 8:50 AM, GarrettParker said:

A sidepiece/cheating is definitely hot! So is sharing a 3rd or more!!! Does your bf know that you want more? Maybe he does, too...

 

He's vetoed opening things up. 

 

I read this reply a bit differently than some of the early replies.  One guy asks if the poster of this thread "Does your bf know that you want more?"  The response from the poster follows.  "The bf has vetoed opening things up".  Now.  We don't know anything at all about these guys, other than one is financially dependent on the other, that one wants outside action, and (presumably) the other doesn't.  Thus, we're being asked a question without much to go on to offer a response.  

Maybe: a) the bf is afraid of losing his financial support, and thus vetoed extra fucking.  b) is the clingy type, and doesn't want to share. c) has not yet matured enough to trust in his bf's (the author of this thread) fidelity, if extra Cock/Hole becomes ok.  d) maybe the bf is a prude. e) maybe the bf is already cheating, and is performing a power-struggle to keep his (the author) bf under his domination.  Maybe a whole lot of things.  

Now.  Most of us aren't built to attempt getting the approval of the gay "Ozzie & Harriet" crowd.  Most of us love sex, identify with being sexual beings too much to honestly maintain a closed relationship.  I happened to absolutely love watching my life-partner suck off other Cocks, take loads off other Cocks.  We were both Pigs, and reveled in each other's porcine tastes.  I knew exactly when he went out for sex, and he knew exactly when I did, and often we went out together. And yes, it's hottttt.  I know that kind of relationship isn't for every guy, but the flood of "do it do it do it" isn't warranted either.  Cheating is dishonest, and leads to the shrinking of emotional well-being.  In my opinion, the one should tell the other the truth, since this couple will probably split up once the facts surface (as they inevitably will).  

One of the magical things about living our lives through the prism of knowing we're sexual beings, accepting who we are, loving who we are, and acting upon our carnal needs as often as we must, is the act of fucking men we've never met, doing it simply for the pleasure.  Spreading our Seed to as many men as possible is - for want of a better term - "wired" into our brains.  We are also (at least, "conditioned") to want a love-relationship, and these two are often opposing pressures.  How to satisfy both?  Honesty within the relationship.  Each guy wins, and neither guy loses.

[hntnhole]

3 hours ago, fskn said:

When I told my ex-husband that I'd been fucking, getting blown by, and blowing other guys for years, I had to explain the obvious to him: you refuse to open things up, you stop putting out often, and then what do you expect?

Wouldn't that have been a "power-play" on his part?  Trying to keep you tied only to himself?  Enjoying your sexual prowess, while denying it to others?  The real killer would be denying his own body to your sexual requirements.  I wouldn't put up with that for anything.  Since you two apparently had "the conversation" about "outside" sex, and he didn't respond appropriately, I would have done the same thing - with one possible exception:  I would have told him that I was going to fuck whoever I want, whenever I want, and however I want.  Bluntly, and to his face.  It's our nature to use our Cocks on countless Holes, and against our nature to restrict our inborn lusts just because someone else wants our Cock all to themselves. and then restrict access.  And then he falls in love over the ether?  

All I can say is, thank "Whoever" you did what you needed to do.  Many, many men received what they needed, and you enjoyed what they offered in return. 

3 hours ago, fskn said:

I reject the whole concept. I don't believe I have the right to limit another person's sexual activity. This is doubly true if I claim to to love the person. Control ⇏ love.)

  100% Spot on.  Accepting who and what we are is healthy.  Trying to deny it is unhealthy, particularly if we love them.  Does this symbol   ⇏  mean an equal sign crossed out?

 

3 hours ago, fskn said:

Incidentally, seeing a man I love get fucked by others is a huge turn on for me, as is knowing that he's "cheating"

Sounds like we're two peas in the proverbial pod, huh?  

[ejaculaTe]

5 hours ago, hntnhole said:

Does this symbol   ⇏  mean an equal sign crossed out?

It can be difficult to discern, but it's a rightwards double arrow with a slash through it (according to Character Viewer in macOS). "Not equal to" wouldn't include an arrow (at least when I had math classes and used a slide rule). I read @fskn to mean that control doesn't lead to love. ( @fskn, are you listening?)

[fskn]

@hntnhole, we do seem to have a lot in common. 😉

I appreciate your suggestion to counter a monogamy power-play by telling a partner to his face that I am fucking others. After my divorce, I met an amazing person on BBRTS, and our relationship has been open from Day 1.

@ejaculaTe, "control does not imply love" is what I intended. I am embarrassed to admit that I made a poor choice of logic symbol. I should have known better, but my studies are now 25 years in the past.

⇏ is indeed the symbol for "does not imply", but there's a gap between the plain English and the mathematical logic. I should have put, control ⇒ ¬love, which means, "control implies not loving".

An easy way to read the (non-negated) "implies" symbol is as "if...then". In this context, I would say, "If you control your partner then you cannot possibly love him". (A dom/sub relationship would, of course, be an exception.)

I had thought of just putting, control ≠ love, but power and love are different and can't be compared in the first place, so saying that they are unequal would be meaningless. Only love = love. 😉

[hntnhole]

I think that in all relationships there is some sort of "power dynamics" involved.  The question is, are they acted upon.  Usually, one guy is at least somewhat dominant, which attracts somewhat subs, and vice versa.  That inborn bent, however, doesn't need to be the foundational aspect of the relationship; merely loving, caring for each other is an even more powerful dynamic.  Often an innately D can/will restrain his natural dominance somewhat, in favor of demonstrating his love for the partner.  After all, he can exercise his dominance in the backrooms/fuckjoints, with tricks (agreed upon within the relationship), fuckbuds, whatever.  Love is worth every ounce of effort to protect, nurture and grow with.  A loving relationship is as much a partnership too, with Love being the Dom, and everything else always serves the Principal Cock ... right ??? 😁

Thanks for the clarification re: symbols.  

[hntnhole]

12 hours ago, ejaculaTe said:

It can be difficult to discern, but it's a rightwards double arrow with a slash through it (according to Character Viewer in macOS). "Not equal to" wouldn't include an arrow (at least when I had math classes and used a slide rule). I read @fskn to mean that control doesn't lead to love. ( @fskn, are you listening?)

Yikes .... math was never my strong suit; I'd never seen that symbol before.  Is there such a thing as a dictionary (cross-referenced) for these symbols?  I'd buy one in an eyeblink.  After reading fskn's contributions, I thought that's what he must have meant, but I wanted to ask you math-whizzes to be sure.  And yes, I'm sure he is ......