cheating for the first time

[fskn]

On 2/17/2022 at 10:53 PM, BBArchangel said:

It’s not, really, if you are the person being cheated on. Then it’s not hot at all. It’s a heartbreak.

This is true for most people, and if you've experienced it, I am sorry you had to go through it.

But it's not true for all of us.

I get turned on when someone I'm with is cheating.

I cheated (only physically, never emotionally) on my husband for years, when he stopped putting out. He ended up cheating emotionally with a guy he met online.

In spite of the emotional impact of the imminent end of our 9-year marriage, I was extremely turned on each time I overheard him jerking off on cam with his online lover. It was not just my surprise at my husband's rapid sexual reawakening (he'd fallen in love with the online guy after only two weeks), but also the thought that this guy was soon going to be fucking my husband regularly and enjoying his ass just as I (and some threesome buddies) had done years before.

My body's response — arousal — seems paradoxical, but it's not. In Sperm Wars, evolutionary biologist Robyn Baker points out that (hetero) men who have been away for a few days (as they would have been when hunting) and who suspect their (female) partners of cheating have a strong desire to fuck upon returning. Physically, the ridge around the head of the penis serves to pump out the interloper's semen, and the man's ejaculate will contain more, and more vigorous, sperm than in the case of a routine fuck.

For me, cheating is hot, whether I'm doing it or it's being done to me. (That said, I reject cheating as a concept because I don't believe any partner has the right to regulate another partner's sexual behavior. I am in an open relationship today and will never enter into another monogamous/traditional relationship.)

[Dcbbslut123]

On 1/29/2022 at 4:00 PM, PigBoyDallas said:

Curious to hear if you pulled the trigger and started cheating. There’s lots of guys out there who not only don’t care you’re cheating on you BF but where that’s a turn on like me. I’d gladly breed your hole!

Took some time away here. Yeah I have been cheating swallowing loads, fucking bb love it all!

[Dcbbslut123]

On 1/29/2022 at 4:00 PM, PigBoyDallas said:

Curious to hear if you pulled the trigger and started cheating. There’s lots of guys out there who not only don’t care you’re cheating on you BF but where that’s a turn on like me. I’d gladly breed your hole!l

I started to reply not this one post as I didn't realize that in my absence the past few months so much discussion has gone on in regards to my cheating so thank you all for your comments and input. I will read deeper in the next few days because some of you have a lot to say. Lol. 

 

So to answer everyone, YES I am cheating on the boyfriend and it's been great. I have sucked cock, fucked and been fucked all raw I hate condoms. Being smart about it at the same time. I have noticed that I have started to get back into a more dominant role if we do have sex because I feel.mor confident in my abilities. 

M boyfriend told me I don't give good blowjobs. However 9 different times I have had guys complement me on how good I am at giving head. The bf doesn't like to bottom for me fine. I know have a few buddies who message me on sniffies when can I come over again. 😂 Finally I have been fucked raw by a couple of guys with more to come. It's so nice hearing that you hole is amazing and that feeling when a nice thick long cock slides in and fill you like you wish the boyfriends could.

I know what I am risking both with STDs and the relationship but honestly I have made up my mind that I want this so I am taking it. I know some will call me cold but the boyfriend could have been part of this by opening our relationship up but he declined multiple times so his loss.

[hntnhole]

On 2/23/2022 at 11:16 AM, fskn said:

For me, cheating is hot, whether I'm doing it or it's being done to me. (That said, I reject cheating as a concept because I don't believe any partner has the right to regulate another partner's sexual behavior. I am in an open relationship today and will never enter into another monogamous/traditional relationship.)

In my experience, "cheating", i.e. having indiscriminate sex with men other than your partner, is best accomplished with one's life-partner/lover/husband.  When two men who love each other first and foremost, go cruising for fresh sex partners together, it follows that each guy loves having sex with many men, knows and take pleasure, even pride in watching or participating in his loved-one exercising his Lusts.  When that depth of trust is developed, it can easily extend to each lover knowing and endorsing the other half going out on his own for sex.  Or, each partner going out to different fuckjoints for a night of whoring.  And the next morning, each one sharing the details, and wind up with the lovers making some really hotttt Breeding.

This has to do with exorcising one's jealousies, one's inclination to "possess" his loved one, in favor of celebrating the wholeness of his partner.  Attempting to control one's loved one only accomplishes the limiting of that relationship.  Celebrating, endorsing, participating in your loved one's Lusts, and he celebrating yours only deepens the love, sharing, richness of the loving relationship.  

This may be difficult to understand, particularly to those who are infected with cultural bullshit, and almost certainly the strictures of our ancient enemy, O.R.*  When we learn to free ourselves of those anchors, dragging us down, making us feel ashamed of ourselves and our Lusts, limiting our joy, freedom, wholeness, we find ourselves to be lesser men than we deserve to be.  However, when we're free of those false constraints, which only serve other's ends, we allow ourselves to revel in our Lusts, share them with our loved one, and thrill to the honesty we share with our loved one.  

If we define "cheating" as taking/getting something we shouldn't have, but we're compelled by our very inborn nature to take, we're not defining cheating for what it is.  Sharing our Lusts with as many of our Lust-driven peers as possible is turned into a guilt-mechanism by cultural pressures.  We simply don't need to accept this dishonesty.  The strictures behind the term "cheating" are unnatural for us, they are attempting to control us for the assumed benefit of institutions that stand to gain power by repressing us.  

Love conquers all.  Love includes every aspect of ourselves.  Love celebrates all.  Love accepts all aspects of our Loved-One, and ours are accepted by him.  When we're fortunate enough to find Love, and all that entails, thank Whatever for that wonderful gift. And then, both of you go fuck Holes together, take loads together, and every possible variation thereof.  

This may fall upon deaf ... (well, blind eyes), but there are loving, enduring, life-long, relationships like this out there.  At least keep an open mind.  Genuine Love really does conquer all.

*Organized Religion

[fskn]

3 hours ago, Dcbbslut123 said:

M boyfriend told me I don't give good blowjobs. However 9 different times I have had guys complement me on how good I am at giving head. The bf doesn't like to bottom for me fine. I know have a few buddies who message me on sniffies when can I come over again. 😂 Finally I have been fucked raw by a couple of guys with more to come. It's so nice hearing that you hole is amazing and that feeling when a nice thick long cock slides in and fill you like you wish the boyfriends could.

I hope your boyfriend will realize what he's missing out on, and what he's been doing wrong. Making any romantic and/or sexual partner feel wanted and desirable is extremely important.

3 hours ago, Dcbbslut123 said:

I know some will call me cold but the boyfriend could have been part of this by opening our relationship up but he declined multiple times so his loss.

No, you are not cold at all. Every person has a right to enjoy their body, including sexuality. Your boyfriend refused to provide you sexual pleasure, and then refused to let you enjoy sexual pleasure with anyone else. He is the one with the problem, not you. Objectively, his behaviors are self-regarding (if not also selfish) and controlling. I believe that they are also stupid, immature, and unhealthy. I hope he wises up in time to save your relationship. If not, you're already well on your way to feeling attractive, proficient, and confident as a lover, and you are not wasting another minute living without the sex you want to have.

[hntnhole]

10 minutes ago, fskn said:

3 hours ago, Dcbbslut123 said:

I know some will call me cold but the boyfriend could have been part of this by opening our relationship up but he declined multiple times so his loss.

I wouldn't call it "cold" at all.  I think his behavior - as described - is close to abuse.  It would seem that the term "boyfriend" is hardly valid at all anymore.  You're not risking much at all with the "boyfriend", and embracing who and what you are, what you need to do to be the man you were born to be.  Call U-Haul quick - somebody's relocating fairly soon.

In the meantime, just call him a "roommate".

[PigBoyDallas]

4 hours ago, Dcbbslut123 said:

Finally I have been fucked raw by a couple of guys with more to come. It's so nice hearing that you hole is amazing and that feeling when a nice thick long cock slides in and fill you like you wish the boyfriends could.

I know what I am risking both with STDs and the relationship but honestly I have made up my mind that I want this so I am taking it. I know some will call me cold but the boyfriend could have been part of this by opening our relationship up but he declined multiple times so his loss.

that's so hot you've started letting other guys bareback you. And yeah, isn't it nice to hear other guys say how hot you are, how good your blowjobs feel, how good a big cock feels in your ass, and the satisfaction you give that guy by letting him cum inside you? I don't think that's cold at all. You gave your BF a chance, he blew it. Have fun while you're young.

[Dcbbslut123]

5 hours ago, PigBoyDallas said:

that's so hot you've started letting other guys bareback you. And yeah, isn't it nice to hear other guys say how hot you are, how good your blowjobs feel, how good a big cock feels in your ass, and the satisfaction you give that guy by letting him cum inside you? I don't think that's cold at all. You gave your BF a chance, he blew it. Have fun while you're young.

OMG I forgot how thick and big some cocks are! There are a few guys I blew where I could barely get my mouth around their cocks. Waiting for them to open my ass up and breed me. Both are fellow cheaters love it all.

[DarkroomTaker]

On 2/18/2022 at 6:53 AM, BBArchangel said:

It’s not, really, if you are the person being cheated on. Then it’s not hot at all. It’s a heartbreak.

Fully agree ^^

 

Is there a reason cheaters/liars or whatever you are calling yourselves cannot be upfront with your partners? Or stay single. 

Cheaters violate trust and wreck homes/lives and feel absolutely no remorse for your actions.

Also, we have a choice when we have BB sex around STI's, HIV etc, they dont because they trust you.

Anyway each to their own, just my opinion. Thx

[fskn]

1 hour ago, DarkroomTaker said:

Is there a reason [...] you [...] cannot be upfront with your partners?

It sounds as if @Dcbbslut123 was upfront with his boyfriend about wanting to open the relationship, and that the boyfriend refused. If the boyfriend isn't having sex with him, and isn't allowing him to have sex with others, then @Dcbbslut123's hands are tied. (And there's also zero health risk to the boyfriend.)

Let's not treat the boyfriend as a hapless victim. If he is happy with the relationship as it is, he'll stay, and if not, he'll leave. It is apparent to anyone who refuses an open relationship and withholds sex (if that's what happening) that the other person is meeting their sexual needs elsewhere. Those needs — expressed at the time an open relationship was requested — don't go away.

None of this is meant to question or diminish yours or anyone else's personal experiences and feelings about having been cheated on. It's meant to assign equal weight to the perspective of the partner whose sexual needs weren't being met, and who dutifully sought a solution by asking for an open relationship.

Edited March 17, 2022 by fskn
Typo

[fskn]

1 hour ago, DarkroomTaker said:

we have a choice when we have BB sex around STI's, HIV etc, they dont because they trust you.

Trust is not an effective method for preventing HIV and STI transmission. There is no empirical evidence that it works. There is plenty of empirical evidence, on the other hand, that people in relationships have sex with other people.

Any sexually active gay man is in a high-risk category, and should: receive frequent, regular STI testing; receive regular HIV testing (if negative) or HIV viral load testing (if positive); use PrEP for HIV prevention (if negative) or receive HIV treatment (if positive); and get all available STI vaccinations (including the Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, and HPV vaccines); to protect his own health. These measures are all "standard of care" in the US, and should of course be undertaken with the support of a licensed medical professional. Medical studies prove that these measures reduce the spread of HIV and STIs.

A fascinating finding in the PARTNER 1 and 2 studies, in which almost 900 mixed-HIV-status straight and gay couples had condomless sex over 58,000 times and almost 800 mixed-HIV-status gay couples had condomless sex over 77,000 times, was that not a single HIV infection occurred between partners (the HIV positive partners had an undetectable viral load). Genotyping showed that the HIV infections all resulted from sex outside a primary relationship.

People can be upset, hurt, etc. about cheating, but they cannot disclaim responsibility for their own health.

Edited March 17, 2022 by fskn

[BBArchangel]

Although I value your insight into most topics, I think you seriously under play the value and importance of trust in a relationship.

I can only speak from my own experience, but for me the worst part of cheating is not the physical act of sex with someone else. It is the lying and the attempts to deceive and the disrespect that inevitably goes along with it. And not just disrespect for me, but disrespect and disregard for the relationship itself.  Over the last few years, I’ve grown tougher and much more cynical about men. I’m still in a 20 year relationship and I’ve changed a lot as a result of his cheating. Not all of those changes are good. But I’m not gonna let him bring somebody into our relationship at the expense of my feelings and my needs.

The funny thing is that I have learned get my needs met outside of our relationship but I’m totally honest with him, which is why he said he values the most. It’s all honesty. Great. But it turns out he is jealous and petulant and petty every time I do have sex with someone else. expect me to be cool with everything he does, but me? Not so much.

even the best relationships are complicated as hell. Cheating and messing around only makes things more complicated. And I would venture to say that most relationships don’t survive the complications. After 20 years together, I’m no longer sure that mine will survive. Love, Trust and certainty and just believing in your partner are the sad casualties of the choices we make. 

[holeswideopen]

3 hours ago, BBArchangel said:

Although I value your insight into most topics, I think you seriously under play the value and importance of trust in a relationship.

I can only speak from my own experience, but for me the worst part of cheating is not the physical act of sex with someone else. It is the lying and the attempts to deceive and the disrespect that inevitably goes along with it. And not just disrespect for me, but disrespect and disregard for the relationship itself.  Over the last few years, I’ve grown tougher and much more cynical about men. I’m still in a 20 year relationship and I’ve changed a lot as a result of his cheating. Not all of those changes are good. But I’m not gonna let him bring somebody into our relationship at the expense of my feelings and my needs.

The funny thing is that I have learned get my needs met outside of our relationship but I’m totally honest with him, which is why he said he values the most. It’s all honesty. Great. But it turns out he is jealous and petulant and petty every time I do have sex with someone else. expect me to be cool with everything he does, but me? Not so much.

even the best relationships are complicated as hell. Cheating and messing around only makes things more complicated. And I would venture to say that most relationships don’t survive the complications. After 20 years together, I’m no longer sure that mine will survive. Love, Trust and certainty and just believing in your partner are the sad casualties of the choices we make. 

I couldn’t have said it better. For my own piece I’ll add communication too. Especially with an open relationship communicating each step can’t be undervalued.

[hntnhole]

11 hours ago, DarkroomTaker said:

Is there a reason cheaters/liars or whatever you are calling yourselves cannot be upfront with your partners? Or stay single. 

Having re-read the original post, several observations:

1.  It appears that each guy in this relationship entered said relationship in good faith.

2.  One of the partners became dissatisfied, in that he was feeling neglected, explained that fact to his partner, and his sexual needs continued to be rejected.  

3.  Rejected partner sought outside sex, after repeated attempts to come to terms with his partner, meeting continued rejection of his needs.

Of course, this is a regrettable situation, since presumably there were common interests, common caring between the two.  That said, from what the original post information contained, there was a drifting apart.  This may be for a number of reasons, one of which could be partner #1 (our poster) grew in his self-awareness, as most of us do.  His need for more Cock than partner #2 was willing/able to provide became evident, and every one of us knows how crucial to our well-being that need is.  After repeated communications of that fact (more Cock) between the two bore no flexibility in the sexual facet of their relationship, partner #1 felt trapped in an unfair relationship, and did what most men in that situation would do.  Of course, it would have been ideal had he terminated the relationship first, and then exercised his compulsion, but at least he did try to communicate first. 

Partner #2 can hardly claim that he'd been "cheated on", since he knew from a number of conversations, over a period of time, that partner #1 had shared these concerns in what sounds like an honest, up front attempt to continue the relationship within re-negotiated boundaries.  That's far more effort at communication than many relationships receive.  I find no fault with partner #1, in that he tried a number of times, over some space of time, to be upfront, honest, and met with no compromise at all.  

Now.  All relationships are - in a sense - living, breathing entities.  The men involved are living, breathing, growing, maturing entities as well.  Real relationships are not cast-in-concrete structures, without any room to evolve.  They cannot become a prison and continue to thrive.  If/when a relationship - stuck in the original construct - is unable to be flexible, remains static, unbending, it was more of a "control" entity than a real relationship.  I find no fault with partner #1, as described in the original post.  He grew, matured, became more aware of himself, his needs, and communicated that to partner #2, and was rebuffed.  It would appear that partner #2 was more interested in possessing, controlling partner #1 than in allowing his partner to mature, grow in who and what he is, and I find that inflexibility the fatal flaw in the supposed "relationship".

I do not endorse, within the confines of a committed relationship, "cheating" in the classic sense of the word.  It is not honest to the partner, it is not honest to the relationship to violate the terms without discussion, perhaps even trade-offs* in the boundaries.  Neither do I endorse "relationships" that are based on controlling elements baked into the relationships.  When there is no possibility that both men can grow, mature, expand their lives - sexual or otherwise - then that relationship has become (or perhaps always was) more of a prison than a healthy vehicle for the maturing of both men.  Thus, and only from the information provided in the post, I fault partner #2 for the foundering of this relationship.  If, on the other hand, partner #1 has not been truthful in his original posting, obviously the fault lies with him.  All we have to respond to is the scant information provided in the post.  

It is always a sorrow when relationships are founded upon contrivances such as control rather than growth, restrictive rules rather than expansion of the partners as healthy, growing men.  Hopefully, each of these two men will learn, become better, more fully self-aware, and find happiness as their life's path unfolds.  

There is one other potential aspect to this post, perhaps unmentioned.  Some of us love wanton Breeding so much that we might be better off avoiding relationships in the first place.  These would be guys we call cumdumps, whores, etc, and the men that service them.  I happen to absolutely adore cumdumps, and the thrill of servicing them never has receded.  To my eternal gratitude, my relationship was founded upon recognition of that fact, and with a man who was every bit a Pig that I am.  So, "outside" sex was one of the foundational blocks of our relationship.  The point is, each man gets to determine what is truly important to him, (particularly when it is not based in cultural bullshit), and build that requirement into the prospective relationship from day one.  

*i.e. #1 gets outside Cock, #2 gets more of something he wants - cars, travel, money, whatever ...

[hntnhole]

8 hours ago, BBArchangel said:

I’m not gonna let him bring somebody into our relationship at the expense of my feelings and my needs.

There is no reason you should.  

I regret to read that the relationship has diminished because of a lack of honesty within the relationship.  It may not even be a "fault", if your partner cannot break free of the cultural (worse, religiously inspired) barriers that may have been inculcated as a kid.  Your last two paragraphs are tragic, in that neither of you feel able to grow, mature within the confines of your relationship. When these relationships are founded upon the sand of dishonesty, they seldom last, since that unwelcome quotient always diminishes both men.  

I hope you're able to move forward in your life, and continue to grow in your self-awareness.  My best wishes to you.