First time in a harness

[Spunkinmyarse]

I’ve never been interested in fetish wear of any sort, and (partly through laziness) have always preferred naked events over ones that have some kind of   clothing requirement.  But with plans to attend an upcoming sleaze party in London (HardOn), I thought I’d better make some kind of token effort and at least splash out on a harness.

Once purchased, it turns out I quite liked the look of it, so I decided to give it an outing on Sunday afternoon at SBN, another London sleaze party that’s mostly naked, though harnesses are allowed.

Well- I have to say, a number of tops really went to town, grabbing hold of it and using it to pound me harder and deeper than I even thought possible!

WHY DID NO-ONE TELL ME THIS BEFORE??!!

I’d always assumed that harnesses were just about the look, and kinda looked down my nose at them a little coz the world and his wife seem to wear them these days.  I had no idea they actually changed the way you get fucked!  Duh!

Anyway, now I get it, and am looking forward to future adventures in it.

 

[PG1961Canada]

I have a regular FB who is 95% top.  He knows that he can really get rough with me - I can handle it.

I bought my first harness a few years ago.  One afternoon, he came over and he said he had a 4 day load and wanted to play in the sling.  So, downstairs we went. He noticed the red/black leather harness and wanted me to put it on so he could see how it looked.

I ended up on my back in the sling with his hard cock slamming my hole.  Apparently the harness really turned him on. But then, he reached up and took hold of the harness on both sides and used it to pull my hole down ON to his cock while he was pushing his hard cock UP inside of me at the same time.

We BOTH were surprised at how much deeper he was able to push that dick on each subsequent upstroke.

I am now a HUGE fan of the harness - especially when I'm taking a hard cock from an aggressive top.  They also seem to enjoy the extra control a harness provides when fucking in the sling or also nice for doggy style fucking.

I agree with you 101%.... harnesses are more than hot lookin'... they can also be a great part of rough sex.

Enjoy your new experiences!!!!

[blackrobe]

I just looked at harnesses a few days ago. I'm not decided on the style to get though. As a bottom I should have a bulldog harness with it's front and back rings, but it's the X style harness (worn by tops) with an extender to replace the center ring that suits me best. I don't want to send the wrong signals, but I want it to work on my body, too.

What style harness did you get?

[Loveitraw]

Yep. I look at it as a case of, "those who know, know!"

I bought my first harness a while back. A simple triple strap affair, once around the chest and one over each shoulder. The classic. I remember feeling a little self conscious the first time I wore it. It was at a sauna/sex club though not on an event night. My feelings weren't helped by the few "really!" looks I got from a few other bottoms. Most other guys were naked or in jocks so I started to question myself. That is until I was literally grabbed by a Top who used the straps to guide me over to, and then over, a fuck bench where he proceeded to pound the hell out of me using the harness for leverage. I have never looked back and now own some more elaborate creations too, though that original is a favourite still.

[ErosWired]

47 minutes ago, Spunkinmyarse said:

Once purchased, it turns out I quite liked the look of it,

And the pic showing you off in it is ... where...? Don’t be a tease.

[Spunkinmyarse]

As requested...

[Guest PigBruderChi]

A harness doesn’t change the way you fuck. Tops wear them. Bottoms wear them. 

[ErosWired]

Just now, ErosWired said:

And the pic showing you off in it is ... where...? Don’t be a tease.

I do some work in leather and have made harnesses for myself before. You can get very elaborate and complicated if you want, with lots of metal, but I find that in the end a simple structure designed to strategically frame muscular assets is best.

 You’re not wrong, by the way, in thinking that some of the latter-day livery is intended chiefly for appearances - my go-to Top recently gifted me a rather nice black harness with white piping, which I was surprised to find flattered even my unremarkable physique. It’s made, however, of neoprene - not something a Top can use  as a grip for savage handling. The harness wouldn’t survive the fuck undamaged. Therefore, eye candy.

And for that kind of fuck, I’d rather he gripped me by my neck, throat or hair anyway.

[ErosWired]

1 minute ago, Spunkinmyarse said:

As requested...

Thank you.

[ErosWired]

11 minutes ago, PigBruderChi said:

A harness doesn’t change the way you fuck. Tops wear them. Bottoms wear them. 

I have to disagree. I have had Tops who seem to discover a new level of aggression if I wear a harness. It’s as though my having it on signals them that they have license to be a little (or a lot) rougher. Sometimes I’ll sense that a Top who hasn’t really encountered a harness before suddenly discovers that it’s something he can grab onto, and it’s very handy, and it gives him leverage to hard and deep, and where has this been all his life? Almost without exception, those fucks end with a satisfied slap on my ass.

Yes, both roles wear them. But harnesses make a subtle statement about sexual readiness, intent and potential that you don’t read without them. And if you read that into them, you’re more likely to act accordingly.

[blackrobe]

21 minutes ago, PigBruderChi said:

A harness doesn’t change the way you fuck. Tops wear them. Bottoms wear them. 

That's certainly true, but an Old Guard top coming across a bottom wearing what they think of as a top's harness can send mixed signals. I found this out when the friend who's been in Seattle Men In Leather for a long time came to give me an opinion and told me. 

[Guest PigBruderChi]

21 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

I have to disagree. I have had Tops who seem to discover a new level of aggression if I wear a harness. It’s as though my having it on signals them that they have license to be a little (or a lot) rougher. Sometimes I’ll sense that a Top who hasn’t really encountered a harness before suddenly discovers that it’s something he can grab onto, and it’s very handy, and it gives him leverage to hard and deep, and where has this been all his life? Almost without exception, those fucks end with a satisfied slap on my ass.

Yes, both roles wear them. But harnesses make a subtle statement about sexual readiness, intent and potential that you don’t read without them. And if you read that into them, you’re more likely to act accordingly.

Actually no. There is a top harness and a bottom one. So everything you said is partially true.

also no to give them license to be rougher? No absolutely not. Tops need to be considerate about is this person wearing it because it makes them feel good or are they wearing it to flag something. You’re implying that a top can do what he wants when someone wears a harness, and guess what that is? RAPE

[JamesL100]

Sleep wearing it a couple of nights and the leather softens .. also gives you horny dreams 😛

[ErosWired]

2 hours ago, PigBruderChi said:

also no to give them license to be rougher? No absolutely not. Tops need to be considerate about is this person wearing it because it makes them feel good or are they wearing it to flag something. You’re implying that a top can do what he wants when someone wears a harness, and guess what that is? RAPE

I did not say - or imply - anything of the kind. I said absolutely nothing about Tops viewing harnesses as permission to do anything without consent, and I have never experienced such a thing. I only said that in my personal lived experience Tops tend to fuck rougher when I wear a harness than when I don’t. I don’t claim that every Top does that. I don’t claim that every Top does anything. So, yes, harnesses can change the way a fuck goes. Sorry if that doesn’t match your theory.

As to ‘Top harnesses’ and ‘bottom harnesses’ - sez who? I’ve been around a lot of men strapped up in leather and I’ve yet to encounter anyone who got his nuts in a tangle because somebody was wearing the ‘wrong’ harness. That sounds like some very local thing to me. The Fistfy.com “Complete Guide to Harness” makes no mention of a difference. Across Reddit it seems to be considered an ‘anybody thing’. Style is highly variable between groups, codes are even more so, and the Internet can provide an exception to every Rule, so there’s little point in making a fashion statement sound like a creed.

The bottom line is that harnesses began as bondage restraints. All but the most minimal still are. Suggesting that a bondage restraint of any kind is unsuitable for a bottom - when the bottom is involved in scenes where such gear is worn - is absurd.

[JamesL100]

Is a bottom harness a 'full' type with cockring attachment? And top just the chest harness?
Modern ways suggest people can wear gear how they like and how it fits for comfort 😉