Slutdom vs Relationship

[JoshLandaleXXX]

Well recently i've encountered a new chapter in my life. My mum, who only a few years ago found it hard to accept i was gay, is now engaging me each time I see her, and pushing for me to "find a partner"..."you need a partner..."

It's really nice and all, that she's gotten over that initial "eek, my son's a faggot" reaction, and now is cool with it all... but it's most strange.

Sure, a relationship would be nice, i guess, but any relationship would have to factor in my sex life. I guess i'm just not one of those people who's geared up for settling down and sharing my life with someone...

I dunno... i'd never really questioned my path of utter hedonistic slutdom, until Mother dearest started pushing the issue of a relationship.

What are your thoughts on your own situations? I mean, how do we balance slutdom against those thoughts of settling down with someone who "completes you".

I've had relationships in the past, 3 in fact, and all were what could be classed as long term serious ones for a young gay, the shortest lasted 2 years, so not just a "holiday romance"..... but the one thing that i always craved when in them, was the ability to shag as many other guys as possible....

I enjoyed the going for meals, having someone to go on holiday with etc etc... but when it came to sex... the idea of just having sex with one person... hell no....

Any relationship would have to be an open one, and a VERY open one at that.

Which leads us to the title... slutdom, vs relationship... what are our thoughts?

[bigdick4you]

you can have both. a LTR and be a total slut with others. the only thing is you need to find a partner who thinks like you! its perfectly normal to have a BF with who you can be yourself and enjoy the things in life and have sex partners who are just that:they are there when you want sex. hate it when people are dishonest to their partners and let them believe they are monogamous when in fact they are screwing others. simplify your life. always be honest to your BF and embrace being a slut!

[slowfuck]

Awww, bless! I can imagine it did cause you to give it some thought. Hopefully she won't be out finding a nice man for you....

I think slutdom is like having loads of lovers, receiving 'love juice' from as many short term partners as satisfies your craving, rather than just 'the one'. Personally, I am quite sorted and happy with my own company, so happy with just a fuck buddy or two and the opportunity to enjoy the company of the occasional hottie who comes my way. If you are similarly happy with your own company then I see no reason to change your tactics.

[Belfast-Bottom]

I agree that you can have both. It's just a question of finding a boyfriend who is comfortable with you being a BB slut. It is important to be honest with your partner if you are BBing lots of anonymous guys.

[FuckerBoy]

I'm glad this topic has come up. I have been debating the question with myself for over the past year. Is it possible to pursue an ongoing lifestyle of slutdom, while at the same time developing and sustaining a meaningful relationship? I believe I have come to the same conclusion as bigdick, that you can have both assuming you can find a similar thinking partner. However, I am now considering the practical issue of where, or how, does one find potential bf material amongst a bunch of horny sluts? Finding similar thinking individuals is easily done via fuck sites, but realistically, how does one brooch the topic of a potential relationship in the very arena were NSA is the rule of the game? Thoughts?

PS Belfast-Bottom - I would love to bust my nuts in your guts!

[JoshLandaleXXX]

I'm glad this topic has come up. I have been debating the question with myself for over the past year. Is it possible to pursue an ongoing lifestyle of slutdom, while at the same time developing and sustaining a meaningful relationship? I believe I have come to the same conclusion as bigdick, that you can have both assuming you can find a similar thinking partner. However, I am now considering the practical issue of where, or how, does one find potential bf material amongst a bunch of horny sluts? Finding similar thinking individuals is easily done via fuck sites, but realistically, how does one brooch the topic of a potential relationship in the very arena were NSA is the rule of the game? Thoughts?

Summed up what i was trying to say perfectly. Well done. That's the dilemma.

[Pig Bottom]

First of all tell your mother that you are looking, but it's not as easy as she thinks to find someone to be a boyfriend.

I used to think I was happy alone, I am a loner by nature, but I think I want someone, but it's so hard to find someone. I met a guy at a sex club, I kind of wanted a relationship and he wanted to be friends. We did have sex for a few weeks, then we had a messy incident and we haven't had sex since. I don't care, I will be happy to have him as a friend. I tread him well and we just went to the beach yesterday. I pay for parking and drinks when we go out, and I take my car so he doesn't have to pay for gas, I know he is in a bad financial spot right now. So for now I'm happy at what it is and if it becomes more than that is cool too. It's hard to even find a friend, there are a lot of jerks out there.

Ideally you need to find a guy in a sex club who is also a slut, not jealous, and happy to be in an open relationship.

Edited April 26, 2011 by Pig Bottom

[HungLatinDom]

One of my fondest memories is kissing my bf while he was bent over in a dark room and a guy was pumping a load in him. And I like my subs to be pre loaded for me.

[FuckerBoy]

Not looking to change the topic, but this thread also makes me wonder: What is appropriate buddy engagement when everyone's got their clothes on? Are buddies best left anonymous and impersonal, or can (should) buddies have a relationship beyond fucking?

[Pig Bottom]

Not looking to change the topic, but this thread also makes me wonder: What is appropriate buddy engagement when everyone's got their clothes on? Are buddies best left anonymous and impersonal, or can (should) buddies have a relationship beyond fucking?

Yeah guys can be fuck buddies or friends with benefits.

[bigdick4you]

I'm glad this topic has come up. I have been debating the question with myself for over the past year. Is it possible to pursue an ongoing lifestyle of slutdom, while at the same time developing and sustaining a meaningful relationship? I believe I have come to the same conclusion as bigdick, that you can have both assuming you can find a similar thinking partner. However, I am now considering the practical issue of where, or how, does one find potential bf material amongst a bunch of horny sluts? Finding similar thinking individuals is easily done via fuck sites, but realistically, how does one brooch the topic of a potential relationship in the very arena were NSA is the rule of the game? Thoughts?

PS Belfast-Bottom - I would love to bust my nuts in your guts!

finding the right BF is never easy! you would be surprised with how many guys who doBB and are big sluts are deep down looking for a more meaningful rlationship. we all put on this act but if right guy comes along we all melt... but like i said, you dont have to change your ways! just be a slut for guys and cum when the urge rises and then go back home and curl up on the couch with your BF. as long as you are honest about the all thing to yourself and your BF its not a problem. but unfort. i meet many guys who are in relationships and their BF have no idea what slut they really are! i must admit that this kind of turns me on as i then think: this slut is a worthless piece of shit and only worth fucking. i get extra verbal then and tell them that they are just good to be bred and receive loads. in the meantime i feel sorry for BF...

[jridge]

Part of me thinks I will never have anyone, so I go around having anon sex. But I tell you, if I ever fall in love, i wont need to sleep around with others. I dont believe just because one is gay, he has to be slutty.

[hungry_hole]

I think that the key to enjoying anon sex is to accept it as a legitimate form of sex. When referring to anon-sex one has to avoid terminology such as "unhealthy sexuality" or "fear of intimacy". All that's bullshit.

I'm now in a relationship and for 1 year I have only been fucked by one guy. Contrast that with 10 years of heavy anon sex in bathhouses, gloryholes (had one in my apt), several long-term BB tops, taking videos. What I miss the most is the bathhouse scene, the gloryholes and darkrooms.

As a BB bottom I find that in a way the anon scene is easier to handle. I used to clean when "I" decide to have sex (unless one of my FBs called me). But with my top guy around, I sometimes clean myself at the wrong time, or don't clean at the right time, if you know what I mean.

I think that I'll eventually go back to anon sex. But if I do my guy will be the first one to know. It's been a wonderful time, I've been enjoying his loads tremendously, but the anon scene pulls me back. I find it amazing having sex with my guy, it's really hot, and I love to hear him when he starts shooting inside me. But, will I never have my hole creamed by another cock? I find that difficult to accept.

[Robertgaetano]

I know of a few couples (some who've been together for over 15 years!!!!) who experiment. Sometimes including a third boy or having an arrangement where they can fuck with other men but always come back to each other.

Then i know one guy who is dates a business man who travels a lot and he's a total bottom but is seriously a "one boy boy" so he has immense collection of sex toys to keep him happy. I think its incredibly sweet.

They're all incredibly satisfied and don't complain about the lack of sex or the wandering eye of the partners. Whereas a lot of my straight buddies who are tied into that traditional norm of sexuality constantly moan about the sexual breakdown of their relationships. They don't understand that it isn't always about slutdom vs relationship. My gay mates have proven to me that with a lot of understanding you can have achieve what you want with your partners. It isn't always one or the other. My gay mates have merged slutdom into their relationship.

Maybe one day, if i find "the one" but the practicalities of life get in the way i hope that i come to some sort of arrangement that actually allows me to have my cake(cock) and eat ALL of it. :-)

[JoshLandaleXXX]

Well isn't it mad how fortunes and relationships can turn on a six-pence?

Only a few weeks ago I was posting this thread having had a really good heart to heart with my mum. Now, we're not talking. Weeks after it appeared all our past differences were behind us and we could move on with our parent and son relationship, it's all gone to shit.

She accused me of not treating them properly, how this is I do not know, she couldn't tell me anything specific. Basically she say's she doesnt trust me because my Dad suspects i have guys back to my house for sex... when i didn't deny this, she god mad - then i likened it to my brother having girls back to his... and the old ways returned

"oh, thats different!"

Really mother?

If you dont trust me, then there's no point in us talking is there, because nothing I say or do you will beleive, so what's the point in trying. We've never been close, and i can see now that the previous closeness was just smoke filled coffee house bull shit... When you said you were "proud" of me, is that because you thought i was looking for a partner? Because you thought i'd moved on from the young gay me...

We didn't speak for two weeks after that argument. The other day, at my dad's request, I went to theirs for dinner, in the hope of reconciling things a touch... fat chance. It was cold shoulder attitude all night, and then in the car on the way home, the sarcastic comments started again. We fought a little, then i just gave up and stopped talking. We got back to mine, she turned to me to say something, but by this point i'd really had enough, i got out of the car, without saying anything, closed the door on her opening words, and went into my house. I heard the car sit outside for a few moments, before she pulled away from the curb.

I don;t know if i reacted right or not, all i knew at the time is that any word she said to me was likely to be the start of another mud slinging match, and I couldn't be arsed with that.

It all fucking sucks.. but it's reaffirmed one thing - something i've known all along... i don't want a fucking relationship, any thought of that was simply as a result of my mum and I getting on so well.... now we're back to our usual arguing ways, i can see more clearly.

All i want is to be fucked. By lots of guys, any time, any place, any where... I dont care what they look like, or if they've got anything... i just wanna be fucking used and abused...

relationships vs slutdom?

Pfft... slutdom all the way baby.

Edited May 24, 2011 by JoshLandaleXXX