Any regrets about being closeted?

[poztwinksrhot]

Everything is relative.  Yes, compared to 1950 or 1980, it's tremendously easier for a boy or teen to realize what they are, and to feel good about it, or least be much less apt to feel like they're an abomination, before they even think about telling anyone about their feelings.  In that way I wish I'd been born in the early 2000s.

However, where you grow up geographically, and who your parents are make a huge difference in whether, after you come out, you're happy and expressive, or whether you'll get shunned or beaten (or worse).  Always remember that straight people are (with few exceptions) the only ones who create gay babies.  When the gay babies grow to gay teens, the straight parents many times don't know how to react, and depending on their background, their parents, their religious beliefs, etc, the results can be terrible for the kid, even though the world around them is mostly accepting.

I'm thankful that things are, in general, so much better than when I grew up.  We still have a long way to go, but just like with racism and religious-based wars, homophobia has been going on for millennia and I doubt we'll ever get to a perfect state.  Unfortunately.  But we're a lot better than we ever have been.

[Guest]

On 12/5/2021 at 2:43 PM, Muscledadbod said:

Something needs to be said about the fact that some guys just don't volunteer any info about their sexuality. It's not that they are pretending to be straight, it's just a matter of living a private life. Some guys like me are single and play in bath houses, I don't have a partner and never had anything long term. 

It's not about hiding my being gay, (which yes, nobody cares) but more of hiding that sordid lifestyle that many would have a hard time dealing with.

I totally agree, I am the same, just private about my sexuality, don't even go into detail about the sex between my wife and I. 

It's kind of a, if you don't ask, I won't tell thing; I once came really close to telling my mom I am Bisexual.

[versamarried]

I regret that I did not trust my wife enough to open up about my bisexual urges. I sort of did early in our relationship when I mentioned that as a teen I would do self anal play on myself and liked it. She was not skeeved but also did not press for more on it so took it as a sign of disinterest in exploring that with me. When our marriage hit a patch of long term no sex I began actively seeking out gay sex both to fulfill the need to feel desired but also engage in acts I knew I would enjoy. Because I remained mum about it to my wife the kink of cheating became intoxicating especially as I became successful in hiding it from her. Then I came across breedingzone which opened me up to the risk of bareback sex. 15 years later my wife and I had the discussion we should have had ages ago. Turns out she was okay with me exploring bi play, but safe only at least until I had maintained a safe sexual relationship with someone. So while I gave up the kink of playing behind my wife's back I got to keep the kink of cheating via bare sex. Oddly enough being open about it has made finding hosting tops even harder than when I had to sneak around. Other than her and my doctor, I guess I would say I am closted but at my age no one is really asking your sexual preference, nor do I ask others theirs.

Edited December 12, 2022 by versamarried

[downtownswallow]

Everyone's situation is different. For some men, being closeted works for them.  In fact, I think some men who come out discover they're bi rather than gay.