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What is the best gay/hookup App for the Iphone?


toolman1966

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Hi - You’re going to find a wide range of opinion on this from guys here, mostly agreeing that the apps have never been all that useful for hooking up, and are only getting less so. Your success in using them is going to be affected by where you are - there seems so tend to be a regional preference for one or the other - and of course it’s going to depend on what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for kink, for example, don’t waste your time with Grindr, go to Recon or maybe BBRTS.

In general, though, consensus lately seems to convey the common experience that the apps seldom deliver on their promise and instead result in hours of time wasted trying to sift through the pic collectors, game-players, fantasy fappers, trolls, ghosts and flakes just to find someone who might possibly commit to a hookup…unless they find something better. Guys more and more are saying that they’re abandoning the apps for more traditional cruising to actually meet men in the flesh.

 I have an iPhone and because I don’t live in a place where cruising is an option, I do have to resort to apps and sites just to make my availability known. I’ve tried several, and each one has significant demerits. I’m now down to posting a profile, when I’m actively hosting, on Grindr, Adam4Adam, and (in spite of their atrocious treatment of their customers, but because there’s currently no viable alternative for me where I am) BBRTS, on sufferance. I also will post a hail-Mary ad on Doublelist in hope of a miracle. None of the above generates any appreciable traffic, but all put together I can sometimes get a handful of hits in a night if I really work them.

You would have a much easier time just going to a bathhouse or a club.

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Back in the day when hookup sites were newer on the scene, it was easy to connect via gay.com, men4sexnow, manhunt, CL and especially BBRT --  As of late they have largely been disappointing -- esp. Scruff, Grindr, BBRT -- don't know if the others are still players or not. Maybe we are just lazy and fearful or depressed because of lockdowns/COVID/etc.?  Or, maybe we've watched so much porn that our expectations are out of wack and real sex isn't very appealing anymore (I have two pals that told me they MUCH prefer to jack to porn solo because real sex is comparatively disappointing -- i find this extremely sad).  For me, what works is staying (loosely) connected to old fuck buds, men i've hooked up with before and their pals, as well as the occasional bathhouse/sauna, dark room. I do love the concept of 'hole' app, but there's no one within 100 miles of me on it. Best O Luck -- let us know if you find something promising!

 

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Thanks for the response... I was afraid of your answers would be disappointing.  As I age older, my group of active men have dropped off and two of my favorite tops ( younger then me with a nice cocks) have found younger bottoms (large bottoms group to use).  

I have never used an App before, but I have a BBRT on the desktop, but don't see it in the Apple store. Is it there?

The craiglist was golden in the early days and I use to travel a 10 state area for business.  Adult Book store close by is a hit or miss.  Closes Bathhouse is 8 hrs away.

Any advise to finding more active hookups?

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BBRT you can add the mobile-web-app as an icon on your iPhone - it's just a shortcut to their website, really. 

I think the apps vary a lot depending on your location as some are more popular than others in different regions.

You also have to factor in what kind of guys you're into.  

My advice is to try a few out and explore, but be ready that the apps are for many guys just a tool to wank off over the *idea* of meeting someone. After exchanging messages for a while, you'll discover a whole new world of excuses why guys can't actually meet despite talking about it... can't accommodate... no transport... looking after a relative... pet is sick... actually they're minding someone's kid... covid isolation... waiting for the cable/telephone engineer to arrive... baking something and can't leave... stolen bicycle... sudden power outage... car won't start... can't afford petrol/gas...  

  

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2 hours ago, toolman1966 said:

Thanks for the response... I was afraid of your answers would be disappointing.  As I age older, my group of active men have dropped off and two of my favorite tops ( younger then me with a nice cocks) have found younger bottoms (large bottoms group to use).  

I have never used an App before, but I have a BBRT on the desktop, but don't see it in the Apple store. Is it there?

The craiglist was golden in the early days and I use to travel a 10 state area for business.  Adult Book store close by is a hit or miss.  Closes Bathhouse is 8 hrs away.

Any advise to finding more active hookups?

I’m not sure a BBRT app would get onto the App Store, although Grindr and Scruff are. But as Andy says, the website site works with no problems on an iPhone - that’s how I use the site mostly. 

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12 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Hi - You’re going to find a wide range of opinion on this from guys here, mostly agreeing that the apps have never been all that useful for hooking up, and are only getting less so. Your success in using them is going to be affected by where you are - there seems so tend to be a regional preference for one or the other - and of course it’s going to depend on what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for kink, for example, don’t waste your time with Grindr, go to Recon or maybe BBRTS.

In general, though, consensus lately seems to convey the common experience that the apps seldom deliver on their promise and instead result in hours of time wasted trying to sift through the pic collectors, game-players, fantasy fappers, trolls, ghosts and flakes just to find someone who might possibly commit to a hookup…unless they find something better. Guys more and more are saying that they’re abandoning the apps for more traditional cruising to actually meet men in the flesh.

 I have an iPhone and because I don’t live in a place where cruising is an option, I do have to resort to apps and sites just to make my availability known. I’ve tried several, and each one has significant demerits. I’m now down to posting a profile, when I’m actively hosting, on Grindr, Adam4Adam, and (in spite of their atrocious treatment of their customers, but because there’s currently no viable alternative for me where I am) BBRTS, on sufferance. I also will post a hail-Mary ad on Doublelist in hope of a miracle. None of the above generates any appreciable traffic, but all put together I can sometimes get a handful of hits in a night if I really work them.

You would have a much easier time just going to a bathhouse or a club.

One site I have found bucking the trend lately - in the UK at least - is Fabguys. It’s been very lively all through the pandemic and still is now we’re living with Covid. Of course, there are a lot of guys on there who say they’re “bi” or “curious”, and a greater proportion of married men it seems. But use the Bareback filter and you may be surprised…

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1 hour ago, AirmaxAndy said:

BBRT you can add the mobile-web-app as an icon on your iPhone - it's just a shortcut to their website, really. 

I think the apps vary a lot depending on your location as some are more popular than others in different regions.

You also have to factor in what kind of guys you're into.  

My advice is to try a few out and explore, but be ready that the apps are for many guys just a tool to wank off over the *idea* of meeting someone. After exchanging messages for a while, you'll discover a whole new world of excuses why guys can't actually meet despite talking about it... can't accommodate... no transport... looking after a relative... pet is sick... actually they're minding someone's kid... covid isolation... waiting for the cable/telephone engineer to arrive... baking something and can't leave... stolen bicycle... sudden power outage... car won't start... can't afford petrol/gas...  

  

There speaks the voice of experience… 😂

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I only use Apps with Geolocation services when I travel to a new city because I find that being "new meat" makes it easier to hook-up in any of the Apps. I've successfully used Grindr and Manhunt in South America, and again, being "new" helps to get hook-ups.

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I have found lately that A4A works well for me. It’s the only site I know of that allows you to list your preference regarding drug use. The other is awesome these days to be full of people looking for eternal love and family (the White Picket Fence Gang) kids looking for somebody to put them through college and buy them a car (“Are you generous?”) 

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1 hour ago, BBArchangel said:

I have found lately that A4A works well for me. It’s the only site I know of that allows you to list your preference regarding drug use. The other is awesome these days to be full of people looking for eternal love and family (the White Picket Fence Gang) kids looking for somebody to put them through college and buy them a car (“Are you generous?”) 

My typos are getting worse lately. Either that but we’re in a. Extremely intense solar activity. In any case I apologize for the lack of clarity and some of my posts recently. I delete the entire ready of the above if I could. But I didn’t catch the errors  in time. 
 

Anyway, short version: A4A works okay because it lets me indicate my party preferences. Most of the other sites are are too flaky.

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16 hours ago, BBArchangel said:

My typos are getting worse lately. Either that but we’re in a. Extremely intense solar activity. In any case I apologize for the lack of clarity and some of my posts recently. I delete the entire ready of the above if I could. But I didn’t catch the errors  in time. 
 

Anyway, short version: A4A works okay because it lets me indicate my party preferences. Most of the other sites are are too flaky.

All responses are graded on a sliding scale and then the Bell curve.... currently on the BBRT.... looks to be 'bator wanting to stroke to pictures and Grindr ( 2nd day there) response has all over the place...very chatty but nothing about meeting up.... disappointing.

 

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As everyone’s pointed out, it’s complex and depends on a number of factors starting with critical mass (enough guys to bother with).  From there the flow of dudes is critical because otherwise it’s just the same old guys.  Tourist town? Suburb?  Big city?  
 

then, just to make things complicated, each has its own rhythm that’s kind of based on the features of the app.  Some are intrinsically better for immediate action and some are far better for the network of well established buddies u know and love. 
 

a few specialty sites are out there but I’m not that confident in those precisely because it they seem to attract those with too much spare time (not working, few friends, no place to go) and the single-minded/hyper-focused. 
 

Core apps: Grindr, scruff, A4A - note that thanks to apple, A4a is functionally very different in a browser than in an app.  
Check for tourists or when in city: bbrt. 

sniffles can be total hit or miss - a lag of dings leads to missed messages.  Best place around for finding current cruise spots. 
I’m told by some that double-list is great for posting ads if you like straight guys and can host.  Honorable mention: tindr, believe it or not.  
Grandslammerz, asspigs, partyandplay, nastykinkpigs, and recon have never produced satisfactory outcomes for me, but that could be different in a city center 

And yes, we all know that getting older is hell for play and requires strategies.  Looking younger helps - put in the effort without making it look like you’re trying too hard.  Drugs are amazing for creating common cause, lowering inhibitions, and obliterating standards… and putting everyone on the same t-dick level of functionality, removing one of the biggest differentiators of age.  Learn how to rim.  Treat your buddies like gold and have patience.  And no whining - pouting, being pissyness, hostility, all of those are conducive to clearing a room: no one fucks eeyore.  have something people want (around here playspace gets you laid).  learn to top or be versatile, and get right with kinks other than your own.  You’re firmly into the realm of needing game theory to get laid: be excellent.   Because I know a 67 year old who takes on something like 25 guys a week (he’s all oral because his master restricts his hole; he’s generously allowed me to play stunthole to please tricks who fuck), and two of my favorite buddies (who have sadly passed over the past year) were both well into their 70s and hosting group fucks a couple of times a week.  Roll with the punches, keep your chin up, find the “sexy” in guys that’s not visible, make changes when needed, accept that no, it’s not fair, and most of all be grateful you’re still here to enjoy a fine cock, and I promise you there’s more action to be had.  

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