Discomfort with the idea I may be contributing to bugchasing/gifting even if it is hopefully mostly fantasy. How do others handle this?

[NWUSHorny]

If this is the wrong forum the moderators are welcome to move it to the appropriate place.

I cannot imagine I am the only one that feels this way. How do others handle this situation?

I have my status listed on this site and any hookup sites I'm on as a courtesy to those trying to make decisions about who they hook up with. I frequently get contacted by bugchasers, as well as have had bugchasers post to discussions I have started with some fairly overt bugchasing replies. One thing I could do is add to my profiles that I am not interested in gifting or even indulging bugchasing fantasies.

Here is my situation in bullet points for anyone who is interested:

• Yes I'm HIV positive undetectable
• I never intentionally bug chased
• I did not intentionally allow guys to cum in my ass until after I found out I was positive
• In retrospect wish I had gotten tested and if it wasn't too late went on PREP as soon as it came out
• I'm not in the least interested in gifting
• I have serious regrets about anyone I may have converted before I found out I was positive
• I don't volunteer my status if I'm fucking guys who are obviously taking any and all dicks but will answer if asked
• I will wear a condom or get fucked with a condom if asked
• I do not cum in anyone the 1st time without their consent
• I won't get upset if someone turns me down because of my status
• Yes I'm bi, and I will fuck you if you are woman or play with you and your girlfriend/wife, but I will not bareback a woman

How I became positive

• I like sex and fucking a lot
• I like cruising in parks, sex clubs, bathhouses, adult theaters, sex parties or just about anywhere people have uninhibited sex
• I stuck my raw dick into literally thousands of holes over a period of 20+ years many of those holes were full of other guys cum some of which I'm sure was positive
• I did occasionally allow guys to fuck me raw and ask them to pull out and feed me their cum if they wanted to cum, which isn't completely effective by any means
• I rarely let a guy fuck me for more than a few strokes
• Yes I'm sure I was stealthed a handful of times
• If I was in a group situation I'm sure some of the guys I let fuck me had been in cum filled asses, and sucking them 1st was not effective way to prevent transfer
• Yes I knew all of this while I was out there being a total slut

No I don't recommend you do what I did, if you are going to be as big of a slut as I was/am go on PREP and stay on it

[ErosWired]

Your problem may be one more common with poz Tops than with poz bottoms; I post my status on all my profiles and I don’t recall ever having been hit up by a bugchaser - probably because they’re not looking at me as a source of infected cum. It might also, however, have to do with my emphasis on U=U. I make it clear that I’m not only Undetectable, I’m Untransmittable. So if some nutcase is looking for someone to infect him with a disease, I’m obviously not the man for the job.

 I also only recall one instance of a Top seeding me and then telling me I just got his toxic load. I assume it’s because there’s no fantasy or thrill in stealthing somebody who’s already medicated against it to the point of undetectability.

[NWUSHorny]

I started this post due what I considered some overt bugchasing on my thread asking about BZ guys hooking up with other BZ guys. However while I was writing it I got hit up by a bugchaser on BBRT, so it is a little longer than what I started out with. I actually added to my profiles both here and at BBRT that I am not a "gifter" or willing to indulge bugchasing fantasies.

I don't want to serve as a "role model" for self destructive behavior any more than I want to actually infect them.

4 years ago I found out I had stage 4 cancer at the same time I found out I was positive. I don't take my health or anyone else's health for granted.

 

Edited April 27, 2022 by NWUSHorny

[bluedragon]

Do you guys think that bugchasing is on the increase/becoming more open and vocal?

I naively thought prep would kill it off. Seems not.

@NWUSHorny @ErosWired

Edited April 27, 2022 by bluedragon

[NWUSHorny]

I wish I knew. It seems a little too real for my taste. I know BZ has the Backroom section where they discuss at least 2 kinds of destructive behavior I have no interest in participating in or encouraging.

 

[iman2004]

I increasingly won’t talk chasing/gifting things to guys listed as “poz on meds” for multiple reasons. The main one being out of consideration  for their decision to go on meds. For whatever reason, guys on meds are out of the gifting/chasing fantasy world and I think that it is only fair that they do not wish to indulge that, then that is respected. In a slightly wider context, I’m also mindful that some guys did not want to end up poz and have found their diagnosis traumatic whether they are listed as “on meds” or not. I do not want to add to that trauma. 
 

I’m pretty sceptical of what I read here. I think even away from the back room there is a lot of fantasy posted. Having guys pestering you (or anyone else) to poz them when you have made the decision to stay u/d is pretty unreasonable in my view.  Don’t even get me started on the “will you go off meds to poz me?” crew.

[hntnhole]

11 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

I cannot imagine I am the only one that feels this way. How do others handle this situation?

Nope, you're hardly the only one.  There have been certain topics I've started to reply to on BZ, and then thought the better of it for the same reason.  I don't want to encourage guys to indulge in destructive behavior - sexual or any other - either in-the-flesh or over the ether (in the literary sense, not the chemistry sense).  

Since almost all of my sexual activity occurs in backrooms, fuckjoints, I seldom run into chatterboxes.  If/when it does happen though (blabbery from hiv chasers) my stock answer is "sorry, I can't help you, bud" .... and either walk away or turn my back to the guy.  If asked my status before I fuck, I answer, and truthfully.  I have taken every precaution available, but I know that nothing is foolproof, and risk is involved.  Being fairly able, I do like to verbalize the actual fuck, if it makes the Hole hotter, or other guys standing close by hot to Breed the Hole too, but that's merely Breed talk, as opposed to hiv talk.  

I'm sorry to know all that has taken place in your life: it can happen to any of us, and at any time.  

Per the original post though - I think most of this fantasy bullshit is enabled by something Al Gore invented a few years ago - namely, the internet.  It's too easy to imagine bullshit, and then peddle it on the internet while trying to get it up for a quick jerk.  A lot of guys on the cruise sites seem to enjoy a game of "Can-U-Top-THIS?" .... look what a filthy cumwhore I've become .... and none of it's worth a piss in a windstorm.  Fortunately (and by design), I live in an area that has far more then enough guys taking loads, and my sympathies to the guys that don't.  This is why I don't post in that thread about the last load you gave: a lot of guys can't get to places like I frequent - it's seems a bit unkind to go on about what I do, when apparently so many don't even have the option, and thus resort to Fantasy Island of the Ether.

Hope today's a good one for you, bud ..... 

[NWUSHorny]

1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

This is why I don't post in that thread about the last load you gave: a lot of guys can't get to places like I frequent - it's seems a bit unkind to go on about what I do, when apparently so many don't even have the option, and thus resort to Fantasy Island of the Ether.

Actually I don't mind the guys that do live in those locations posting, I'm aware they exist and am spending too much time here because I'm stuck here in "no fuck" land for the time being.

 

1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

Since almost all of my sexual activity occurs in backrooms, fuckjoints, I seldom run into chatterboxes.  If/when it does happen though (blabbery from hiv chasers) my stock answer is "sorry, I can't help you, bud" .... and either walk away or turn my back to the guy.  If asked my status before I fuck, I answer, and truthfully.  I have taken every precaution available, but I know that nothing is foolproof, and risk is involved.  Being fairly able, I do like to verbalize the actual fuck, if it makes the Hole hotter, or other guys standing close by hot to Breed the Hole too, but that's merely Breed talk, as opposed to hiv talk.  

I'm sorry to know all that has taken place in your life: it can happen to any of us, and at any time.  

I knew the risks as well, and did what I did and still do anyway. My biggest regret is that I almost certainly infected other guys. I have not personally had ill health effects as a result of the HIV (the Hematologists do not  believe the cancer was related), other than I'm sure it complicated my treatment.

[Loveitraw]

I'm undetectable. How I became poz in the first place, apart from the obvious mechanics, I genuinely don't know.  What that means is that for a while I was unaware of my status. Total bottom maybe; but definitely toxic. So anyone who stuck their dick in me was taking a risk, and lots did.

The thing is, especially out cruising, no-one ever asked status. I let guys fuck me and they never asked me and I never asked them. Any of them could have been poz, several probably were and that's how I square it with myself. None of the parties involved cared beyond the fuck.

I'm never seeking absolution and anyone who wants to judge can but what happened happened.  Just like I'll never know who gave it to me I'll never know if I passed it on. 

Now my profiles declare my status and I still get fucked regularly with full disclosure. But when out cruising whether dark rooms, clubs or cottages it rarely comes up before the fucking starts. In the heat of things I guess guys really only think with one thing.

[NWUSHorny]

13 minutes ago, Loveitraw said:

I'm undetectable. How I became poz in the first place, apart from the obvious mechanics, I genuinely don't know.  What that means is that for a while I was unaware of my status. Total bottom maybe; but definitely toxic. So anyone who stuck their dick in me was taking a risk, and lots did.

The thing is, especially out cruising, no-one ever asked status. I let guys fuck me and they never asked me and I never asked them. Any of them could have been poz, several probably were and that's how I square it with myself. None of the parties involved cared beyond the fuck.

I'm never seeking absolution and anyone who wants to judge can but what happened happened.  Just like I'll never know who gave it to me I'll never know if I passed it on. 

Now my profiles declare my status and I still get fucked regularly with full disclosure. But when out cruising whether dark rooms, clubs or cottages it rarely comes up before the fucking starts. In the heat of things I guess guys really only think with one thing.

I'm not judging you for anything you stated here, that would be extremely hypocritical. I regret not being more careful, but am in no position to judge others for having a lot of anonymous casual sex. Who I have issues with are bugchasers looking for "gifters", and guys bragging about converting other guys.  I don't want to encourage them, and don't want to be seen as a role model for those that are intentionally spreading a disease.

[hntnhole]

1 hour ago, Loveitraw said:

I'm never seeking absolution

The way I read your reply, you have nothing whatsoever to consider seeking absolution for.  You haven't lied to anyone - or misled anyone.  You have merely celebrated your inborn Lust for raw Cock along with many, many other like-minded men.  That's only to be celebrated - upheld - reinforced and supported. 

It's up to each guy to consider the risks, and figure out what his behavior will be.  Some arrive at the answer that the love of wanton sex is paramount, and behave accordingly.  Some will take every precaution there is to take, and fuck with wonderful abandon.  Some will try to get a closed relationship, settling for at least some of the loaf.  Every guy decides for himself, after considering every potential outcome.  

You don't know how you became positive, and thus it is irrelevant.  You don't know if you unknowingly passed it to to others, since you didn't know you may have been infected.  It's up to each guy to weigh the risks and decide how far he'll go for himself.  I get tested monthly, and while I don't know how long it takes, once infected with hiv, to pass it on to others, if I pick up that bug on the 1st of the month, and get tested on the 30th, maybe I might fuck it up some guy's gut on the 29th.  Point: each guy has to weigh the risks against the magnetism of the pleasures, and decide for himself how to balance the two.  

I find no fault whatsoever with your actions.  

[Loveitraw]

58 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

I'm not judging you for anything you stated here, that would be extremely hypocritical. I regret not being more careful, but am in no position to judge others for having a lot of anonymous casual sex. Who I have issues with are bugchasers looking for "gifters", and guys bragging about converting other guys.  I don't want to encourage them, and don't want to be seen as a role model for those that are intentionally spreading a disease.

I didn't mean to imply that you were being judgmental. In a fairly blunt way I was describing how I am at peace with where I am and how I got here.  In other threads I have described this journey and in others still I have explored the fantasy side.  What I can see from my perspective is that there is a clear disconnect. The "porn" side is all fun without consequence and the screen goes dark with the cumshot.  The reality is, am I'm sure you know, how everything changes. I know I'm lucky. I'm in the UK so meds are taken care of and I am fit and in good health. I am very conscious of how easily that can all change.

I explored the fantasy of things to get my own head sorted out.  I don't advocate living as I have nor do I say not to. What I absolutely won't do is knowingly assist anyone down that path, if only for my own sake.

[hntnhole]

Perfectly said, Loveitraw.  Thanks !!!  

[BannedWord]

5 hours ago, hntnhole said:

I think most of this fantasy bullshit is enabled by something Al Gore invented a few years ago - namely, the internet. 

🤣😂

Bahahahaha! Love it! For those who believe that, I have some great swampland in Nevada for you! 😉 Thanks for the laugh today, I needed this. 😃

[FunCheerSlut]

14 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

I started this post due what I considered some overt bugchasing on my thread asking about BZ guys hooking up with other BZ guys. However while I was writing it I got hit up by a bugchaser on BBRT, so it is a little longer than what I started out with. I actually added to my profiles both here and at BBRT that I am not a "gifter" or willing to indulge bugchasing fantasies.

I don't want to serve as a "role model" for self destructive behavior any more than I want to actually infect them.

4 years ago I found out I had stage 4 cancer at the same time I found out I was positive. I don't take my health or anyone else's health for granted.

 

Amen! Seriously! Thank you @NWUSHorny - Agreed. I could not have said it any better myself. Let's not take our health or anyone else's for granted.