Where are all of the tops???

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

As a top, I'm not really into the anonymous hookup scene - the connection is just about as important to me as the fucking. So, while I think a pump and dump is hot, it's not really my thing. (But getting with the bottom from a pump and dump when he's done with that is definitely my thing!)

And even though I seem to be a rarity (a top), bottoms flake on me regularly as if tops are a dime a dozen. And I'm in a major metropolitan area. 🤷‍♂️ When that happens, I take a glass half-full approach and just assume that the universe wants me to do something else cause I have LOTS of other things to do besides have sex! Even bottoms who profess to have had a great time seem to drop off the face of the earth when it comes to hooking up a second time....

I would always come back for seconds, thirds, fourths...oh yes sir I certainly would.

[bbbreederbear88]

This is precisely why I only whore out btms who I blindfold and darken the room, and willing to take any and every load of all ages and body types, no questions asked on Poz and other STD status. Much easier and cummier sessions 

[Loveitraw]

I'm not going to dispute that there are more, or at least seem to be more, bottoms than Tops. I think this is to be expected when most of the vers guys on the sites seem to be looking to bottom whenever they are on. (Not a judgement, an observation) Which skews the odds without looking at any other factors. 

It's also possible that bottoms need to scratch that itch more and so are out looking more frequently (again just a thought, not trying to debate anything here.)

I am a bottom, total. Always have been and discussed it on several threads in my time here and don't feel the need to elaborate further.  Even as I get older, mid 40's now, I still get my fun. As we come to the end of this weekend I can happily chalk up another half dozen notches. Not the porn levels some hope for or expect but I certainly go into the new week happy.

One question that I think should be asked of those who feel they are in a drought is; Are you looking for Tops, or Tops who fill very specific criteria?

We all can be choosy, and we all have the absolute right to be so, but if your searches are fruitless perhaps broaden the spectrum a little bit. Also, as harsh as it might be, just because they hit your spot doesn't mean you hit theirs. This one we all learn with time.

[hoodtight]

I would love all tops stuffing me as I'm suspended by my limbs and masked

[Luxbrit]

Finding tops is easy BUT finding breeder tops is in my opinion a little harder.

 

[Leather69]

Using the search platforms of Recon and BBRT for individual cities will show that the numbers aren't that much different.. perhaps at times the tops aren't looking as much as the bottoms??

[JamesL100]

If btms are picky then tops can have who they choose.
Likely to just find the 'best' or perfect match rather than travelling round?
Unless they are already out dipping into many holes at cruising and sex venues.

Mind you I'd rather guys are honest rather than the versatile hook-ups suddenly going ass-up with 101 reasons for being btm after we spent hours agreeing how nice it is to flip roles..

[ErosWired]

3 hours ago, hoodtight said:

I would love all tops stuffing me as I'm suspended by my limbs and masked

Not singling out our friend here, but the wording in this post is an example that suggests why many bottoms may end up feeling unsatisfied and that no Tops are available for them - the question of expectations. Any time a bottom sets his mind that ‘all’ Tops are going to wan in his hole, he’s doomed to disappointment. I much more seldom experience that kind of disappointment because my goal is ‘any’ Tops. Also, bottoms so often express  a desire that Tops be into a specific act or fetish, and overlook the fact that the thing that rocks their world isn’t something everyone does or likes, and in fact there’s no such thing. In this case, getting fucked in suspension bondage is so complicated and rare that if set as an expectation it’s practically a guarantee of failure. And I say that as an experienced bondage submissive who would have dearly loved to have been fucked in suspension bondage and never managed it.

I think that if more bottoms took a more reality-based, and less fantasy- and porn-based approach to their expectations, they would come at their hunt for Tops in a way that would bring them greater success and satisfaction, and make Tops’ lives a hell of a lot easier then trying to live up to s bunch of bottoms’ impossible expectations.

(Like I say, @hoodtight, not picking on you here, because I’m right there with you. If I could find a fucking Top who knew how to rig suspension, he could own my ass. It’s still on my bucket list, I just don’t really expect it to happen.)

[DudeLiquor]

I'm a total top--haven't been fucked since I was young and first coming out.  Now that I'm getting old and live in rural Wyoming it's much harder to find willing and capable bottoms. Of course the pandemic didn't help any.  And the closing of the baths in Denver really hurt.  And now with the high fuel prices traveling will become harder for many.

  I have run into bottoms who say they used to be tops but as they got older they began having ED issues.  I have no prob getting it up and hard as a rock  when by myself but sometimes the fucker just won't rise when I'm socially stressed (like meeting someone for the first time or walking around in the baths).  In that case I have a rx for trimix which gets me up and hard for hours.

I have also had a problem with losing my hard when using poppers so I stopped using them but wonder if maybe that might be why there aren't as many tops these days. And with so many men using meth and the associated limp dicks further limit the number of tops.

Thank gawd for good porn!!!

 

[ErosWired]

9 minutes ago, DudeLiquor said:

I have also had a problem with losing my hard when using poppers so I stopped using them but wonder if maybe that might be why there aren't as many tops these days.

Preach. Even when a Top does end up in my room, half the time they sniff fucking poppers and end up trying to stuff a noodle up my ass because “poppers don’t affect them that way.” 🙄 Dude. I can’t bring that back from the dead. You’re not fucking Jesus here.

Another thought I had, following on mentions of PrEP above, is that I wonder if the relaxing of fear of HIV is leading to an increasing promiscuity that is saturating a field unaccustomed to it? I came of age just as the AIDS crisis was getting underway, so I don’t have any experience of the sexual atmosphere pre-AIDS - perhaps there are those here who can give us some perspective. Was the bottom/Top situation like this back in the Golden Age pre-HIV?

[hoodtight]

2 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Not singling out our friend here, but the wording in this post is an example that suggests why many bottoms may end up feeling unsatisfied and that no Tops are available for them - the question of expectations. Any time a bottom sets his mind that ‘all’ Tops are going to wan in his hole, he’s doomed to disappointment. I much more seldom experience that kind of disappointment because my goal is ‘any’ Tops. Also, bottoms so often express  a desire that Tops be into a specific act or fetish, and overlook the fact that the thing that rocks their world isn’t something everyone does or likes, and in fact there’s no such thing. In this case, getting fucked in suspension bondage is so complicated and rare that if set as an expectation it’s practically a guarantee of failure. And I say that as an experienced bondage submissive who would have dearly loved to have been fucked in suspension bondage and never managed it.

I think that if more bottoms took a more reality-based, and less fantasy- and porn-based approach to their expectations, they would come at their hunt for Tops in a way that would bring them greater success and satisfaction, and make Tops’ lives a hell of a lot easier then trying to live up to s bunch of bottoms’ impossible expectations.

(Like I say, @hoodtight, not picking on you here, because I’m right there with you. If I could find a fucking Top who knew how to rig suspension, he could own my ass. It’s still on my bucket list, I just don’t really expect it to happen.)

I understand your feelings. Evidently suspension bondage is not very realistic.. but be masked and breed doesn't seem untouchable goal. I understand that bottom shouldn't express wishes... and that only tops, breeder or simply dominants, should lead.. I will do what top want..I would only express my will to be ...breed and even controlled. Thx for your words. 

[NWUSHorny]

@DudeLiquor and @ErosWired that poopers are a problem. I think in many cases they are used as a defense mechanism for guys who don't really want to fuck. I've been with too many poppers dudes that as soon as they are hard enough that you asked them to fuck will take a big huff wilt, so they can ask you to suck them hard again and keep repeated it until they either cum from he oral or even more likely completely lose the ability to get an erection. If that happens every time they hookup, they really don't want to fuck.

Personally I hate poppers the only thing they ever do for me is give me a headache. I will fuck a guy who is using them, but you are not taking a big huff and then getting my dick in your mouth, those fumes you are exhaling can feel like you are burning the skin on my dick. 

Edited June 19, 2022 by NWUSHorny

[AirmaxUK]

 

12 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Not everyone who claims to be a cumdump is actually a cumdump - in fact, I’d say the majority really aren’t. Being an actual cumdump is not for everyone, and requires a degree of commitment. It’s often painful, often demeaning, labor-intensive, and high-risk. It requires a level of dedication to cleanout, and it requires a level of physical training and conditioning to endure the kind of serial use involved. Most casual fuckers simply aren’t invested in it enough to genuinely be called cumdumps, and if put to it, they couldn’t perform. So what we’re dealing with, in reality, is a high level of impostors.

Why such a high level? I suspect the current state of affairs is in part a result of the effect of the online app influence on hookup culture, exacerbated in the last couple of years by the changes wrought by COVID. Being forced to live sex lives virtually for a time has likely encouraged some men to indulge in more fantasy-based and less reality-based approaches to connecting with others. A lot of bottoms may think calling themselves a cumdump makes them sound slutty or edgy or somehow more fuckable to claim that they’re a cumdump - or maybe it’s just more wish-that-were-me-ism because they imagine they would like it. But if you look under the hood you’ll find the picky, discriminating, often timid and inhibited men who actually balk at taking more than a couple of cocks in a session.

The problem is that these people have ramped up the signal-to-noise ratio for Tops looking for legitimate players. It’s no wonder some Tops now prefer to stick with the ass they already know - it’s becoming too much hassle to sift through all the rubbish trying to find the real items out in the open. It’s a pity there’s no way to certify a cumdump so that not just anybody could go around claiming to be one.

Yes, I’m a cumdump.

May I see your cumdump license number?

Certainly. I have it here, tattooed on my taint.

So I see. Yes, everything appears to be in order. Don’t bother putting your pants back on, I’ll just take you now.

I think I posted before of the differences between fantasy and reality and how most guys find it difficult to make the jump into 'doing it for real'. For those of us that are (trying) it makes our job that much harder.  You might not find a tattoo with my certification on my butt (yet), however there's a couple of things that give us clues. 

Just talking to a guy you can often judge their experience and commitment. Are they ready? Or is it at the end of a list of errands? Laying in bed wanking means they'll usually vanish once they get off on the idea they're wanted. Cleaned out and prepared to travel for accommodate NOW is a big clue. 

Experience and reputation are good signs. If they're from here, then look at their previous posts. Lots of posts  that seem more fantastical than realistic is a red flag. Guys who only post 'me too' in discussions or just comment on porn pics are likely here just for a quick Palm-5.  

Also, do they know anyone you know? 

I hope this doesn't make me sound like a jaded old queen, but filters are sadly very necessary.

[Guest]

Well I am a top and I am here.  At one time, I pretty much hooked up with anyone and everyone I could (making up for lost time).  Here of late not so much.  I spent the past nine months breeding weekly a local college freshman.  But since the summer is here, he has returned home (out of state), so I will be on  a small hiatus from him.  Before that, I was exclusive with someone I grew very close to, however, he was not ready yet for a relationship.  I am holding out some hope for that (he is my ideal and hot as balls), so you never know where fate takes you.  Overall I have had relatively few issues hooking up with any bottom in my area (they do outnumber tops in my area on Grindr).  Time will tell I guess.

[BootmanLA]

On 6/18/2022 at 8:12 AM, TwinkChaserSlut said:

In my view, there have always been more bottoms than tops (like maybe 60% or 65% bottoms to 35% to 40% tops) in my estimation. But currently, the numbers are all blown out. It's closer to 85% to 90% bottoms to 10% to 15% tops in any given geographic location or on any given app or website.

I'm going to throw out another possibility to consider, which is that your own experience may be tainting your perspective.

Your (linked) BBRT profile says you're 40. You may be an amazing-looking 40; but you're still 40. While you may derive pleasure from keeping the handle "TwinkChaserSlut" as your own - and I'm not here to criticize the concept; I have a cherished handle used on non-fetish sites that I've kept for years even as it's really no longer quite as fitting, in homage to my past life - the fact is that at 40, you're not the 20-something twink that a lot of even versatile guys would jump to fuck because, hey, hot young new meat.

As we age - and I'm way beyond you on that score - what we perceive as a lack of tops may, in part, simply be "a lack of tops who are interested in us". There are always going to be tops who aren't interested in anyone over about 27 or 28, and they can be that picky because there are, in fact, considerably fewer tops than bottoms.

I can't speak to your numbers, but I would suspect that a number of guys in their 20's, as they're coming out, try both positions. The difference is that most of those who find they enjoy bottoming are likely to re-identify as "versatile bottoms" and then just "bottoms" (and for some, "cumdumps"). By contrast, those who find they enjoy topping can remain "versatile" or "versatile tops" (unless they find they HATE bottoming). So in our own general age cohort, we see an increase in "bottoms" simply as versatile guys give up topping.