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Question for HIV poz bottoms….


Pozguyinchi

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On 6/27/2022 at 6:12 AM, Pozguyinchi said:

Has anyone had to educate a top on HIV conversion during a hook up? In the last year I have had three separate instances where I have had to stop and explain HIV transmission to a top. Most recent was yesterday afternoon. I was playing with this guy at the video store and he wanted to fuck me. I turned around and he started rubbing his (unimpressive) cock on my hole. At that point I was really just in it for the load so I asked if he was poz. He said no and asked if I was. I said yes, undetectable. I said is that an issue? I expected to hear the usual no but instead he said “ am I going to get AIDS? I was like what rock did this guy climb out from under? First, if you are going to be having bareback sex with an anonymous guy you should at least know the risks. Second, understand what undetectable is. He had a better chance of winning the lottery than me giving him HIV. There is a lot of information out there to educate yourself. Have any other bottoms run into this issue?

This has come up for me occasionally, but not often.  I once had to assure a top that I was positive before he blew a load in me. Another top dropped two loads in me on Sunday and tested positive on Tuesday.  He called all upset.  I told him that most likely you had your blood drawn prior to the weekend.; that there is usually an incubation period; that I have been undetectable for years; and that he has to assume all men are positive and protect himself first.  Once he calmed down, he apologized. I think he needed a face to associate with his conversion.  That was last year.  Just last week, he called and came over and dumped in me again as  he does from time to time. 

Edited by BBBxCumDumpster
Missing pronoun.
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On 7/2/2022 at 8:19 PM, TheSRQDude said:

🤣😂 This. ❤️ Part of me still wishes the Internet was still this arcane to weed out those who shouldn't have ever been here. The difference between then and now is like the chasm between a massive darkroom and Disney World. Thank you for the trip down memory lane.

We’re still in the endless September, bro. 

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People have stopped caring about the matter. Tops just want to fuck. If they don't want to know, let them be. I ask if the status is not posted. 

Are you poz?

Many times it's no. Then comes are you?

Since they asked I say yes. Some insist on condoms. I then reply with I love raw bareback sex. No need for condoms. About 80% of the time they agree with little to no effect.

Others block or say condoms only. I love raw sex.

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Yes, I get this from time to time, and when I do, I stop right there and educate. The most important service I can provide for that Top is for him to walk out of my room with the knowledge he needs to live his sex life in a healthy, responsible way, whether he fucks me or not.

Sometimes it takes effect right away, sometimes it takes a while to settle in. One time at the bathhouse in Indy, a Top asked, and even after I patiently explained about U=U, PrEP, and Top risk vs. bottom risk, he still rejected me. The following month when I came back, he sought me out in my hotel room to fuck me, apologized, and told me that what I had told him had changed his perspective. And he fucked me very well.

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I never had this issue. When I became poz over 10 years ago, I was fortunate to live in city where there was a community of poz men. There were enough poz guys that I could only have sex with poz men only & not be bothered by neg tops who were uneducated about STDs. There were poz BB party for poz men only. Back then I avoided neg guys because I didn’t want to have to deal with anyone paranoid nor did I want responsibility of educating or assuaging anyones worries. Sex is meant to be fun and I don’t want to have to do work.

Fast fwd. to today. There are  a lot of guys on prep that the window of opportunity has opened but I still come across tops on prep who are very much uneducated about how HIV works. Like I said I generally prefer to only meet poz men. 

 

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Despite the progress we have made towards finding social acceptance as 'normal,' there is still a hugh sector of society that thinks being gay is "sick, perverted, abnormal, etc., etc.."  i think this is the foundation that builds and sustains the ongoing ignorance about HIV.  

The recent pandemic made it abundantly clear that there is a hugh segment of society that does not know what science is or how it works, and worse, are emotionally invested in fighting against science, often inadvertently.  i think ignorance is the biggest cause of inadvertent evil. 

Some poor person is born into this segment of culture, has it as their primary source of information for the  formative part of their life, and have to somehow coordinate that with the reality of having a 'different' sexual drive from what they've been taught they're supposed to be/have. 

i think ignorance in the information age is more emotional than cognitive.  Fear  often trumps reason and perpetuates ignorance.  Still, sex is a strong drive, so we find ourselves having haphazard discussions about HIV transmission at some almost comical moments.  It's sorta funny when a guy is pressing His cock into you and as an aside queries: "by the way, am i gonna die from this?"

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I always post that I am HIV+ and undetectable on any hook up sites. A couple of years ago a guy hit me up on A4A. He comes over, and asks for a condom. I say no so he fucks me bare. About 30 minutes later he emails me and says "what does undetectable mean?". I explain it to him and he panics. After several frantic emails and thinly vailed threats I suggest he go to the local emergency room and get PEP. Which he does. After that I gave up on A4A. 

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