Is there a nice way to invite someone to a threesome?

[MoonDreamer]

My bf and I (we're both versatile) have a common acquaintant (I've only chatted with him via messenger because he needed something and my bf told him I could help). We know he's gay mostly because of his posts and the way he behaves (he's not feminine though). We've never had a threesome but we really want to. He's younger than us and we find him hot. We'd love to top him hard. There are two things though.. how can we possibly give him a hint of what we want without being too.. ehm direct? I don't want him to be in discomfort. The second matter is that my bf would like us to wear a rubber but I don't think I could ever use one (maybe with some practice?). I thought about inviting him for a dinner but I really dont know what to do.

[TravelGuy1956]

I didn't know there was a wrong way...LOL!  But seriously,  I tried the dinner route and our guest told us he was flattered,  but he was not even gay.  We finished our dinner and he never returned to our home.

[OzzieCumdumpster]

Dinner is a good start, have some drinks get everyone relaxed, and then start making hints about sex. You might have the tv on witha very low volume, and see a guy in an ad and say how much you do the guy in the ad, this with the drinks usually starts the conversation, you can also gauge where he stands with that sort of suggestive talk, from there you can broach the 3 some, with something like a sex bucket list and see if that is on his bucket list. The thing about using a condom that is something you and your bf will have to discuss. Hope this is helpful?

[cockfun69]

Depends what his posts about? Dinner and stay over? Though he could be top too!

[Treehugger]

I think the dinner is a great idea as long as you are willing to consider it an exploratory evening and not expect to be spit roasting him after dessert. 
      You could try good cop/bad cop where one of you asks probing questions while the other poo-poos and chastises you for being too nosey. You might get some honest answers about his sexual inclinations or just a feeling about how he might react to an invitation to a three-way. 
     I love playing with couples and he might feel the same. I say go for it. Any well adjusted person should be flattered and if he’s not interested that’s okay too, you can make it easier for him to let you down. 

Edited October 30, 2022 by Treehugger
Grammar

[Jimmi]

I also think you could say it out front in a respectful way “we both find you attractive and we’re interested in playing”.  If he says “no” and you never hear from him again is that a problem?  But the condom thing is trickier.  Sort that out with your fella.  The worst thing when you’re the third in a threesome is to feel like you’ve wandered into some marital squabble. 

[MoonDreamer]

The thing is he doesn't know we're a couple and we don't know he's gay.

However judging from some of his instagram posts and his style  you can be 99,9999% that he's gay and I don't think it's that difficult to understand that me and my bf are a couple. I love that "hunting" feeling. I don't mind if he wants to top, but if he's a bottom I hope he can take my dick bcz my bf has hard time doing so. I've also no experience in threesomes.

[UKFFBBBtm]

I would say to start with you need to decide what you and your bf want when having a threesome. Rubber, BB, limits, off-limits etc. 

Then just ask your friend if he's gay and if he says no then make a joke about it, like damn thought me and bf could have had some fun with you laugh blah blah.

If he says yes then ask if he'd be interested in a 3some. Worst he can say is no.

[OzzieCumdumpster]

But he knows both of you, right? You are only inviting him to dinner as both you and your bf find interesting, especially since your bf told him before that you could him with a problem and gathering?

It is a way to get him to your place first off, the alcohol, is usually a good way to get people relaxed especially at dinner. You don't just dive straight in and say we want a 3 some with you, you start with small talk, his interests etc and slowly stir the conversation towards sex.

Or maybe it's just the people I tend to be around when socializing at my home, for some reason all conversations eventually lead to talking about sex, and sometime they turn into a sexual romp (Orgy). My straight and gay friends all know I swing both ways and have never been shy after a few drinks.

[MoonDreamer]

11 minutes ago, UKFFBBBtm said:

I would say to start with you need to decide what you and your bf want when having a threesome. Rubber, BB, limits, off-limits etc. 

Then just ask your friend if he's gay and if he says no then make a joke about it, like damn thought me and bf could have had some fun with you laugh blah blah.

If he says yes then ask if he'd be interested in a 3some. Worst he can say is no.

Well we just wanna have fun and we would like to play with someone younger than us (he's 22 we're 27 and 30). We will use condoms (my bf wants it so I won't oppose I respect that). I was thinking having some dinner, watching a movie and start slightly touching or something or finding a way to imply that somehow.

 

5 minutes ago, OzzieCumdumpster said:

But he knows both of you, right? You are only inviting him to dinner as both you and your bf find interesting, especially since your bf told him before that you could him with a problem and gathering?

It is a way to get him to your place first off, the alcohol, is usually a good way to get people relaxed especially at dinner. You don't just dive straight in and say we want a 3 some with you, you start with small talk, his interests etc and slowly stir the conversation towards sex.

Or maybe it's just the people I tend to be around when socializing at my home, for some reason all conversations eventually lead to talking about sex, and sometime they turn into a sexual romp (Orgy). My straight and gay friends all know I swing both ways and have never been shy after a few drinks.

He worked with my bf for some time and we have only chatted. He had once proposed to go and see him (like me going to my bf's work so we can all meet but I said no bcz I really don't want to see again anyone from his job it's full or religious bitches).

I mostly worry if he's in to us, if he would like a threesome and if he can take my dick as rough as I want because I'm sick of carefully fucking, I just want to fuck hard 😄

[BootmanLA]

1 hour ago, MoonDreamer said:

Well we just wanna have fun and we would like to play with someone younger than us (he's 22 we're 27 and 30). We will use condoms (my bf wants it so I won't oppose I respect that). I was thinking having some dinner, watching a movie and start slightly touching or something or finding a way to imply that somehow.

He worked with my bf for some time and we have only chatted. He had once proposed to go and see him (like me going to my bf's work so we can all meet but I said no bcz I really don't want to see again anyone from his job it's full or religious bitches).

I mostly worry if he's in to us, if he would like a threesome and if he can take my dick as rough as I want because I'm sick of carefully fucking, I just want to fuck hard 😄

Here's the thing: you're making a lot of assumptions, some of which may be reasonable under the circumstances and some of which are just... guesses.

--You assume he's gay, and there's apparently some evidence that may be the case, but you don't know for sure.

--You assume he's single and available, whereas you may not realize he has a boyfriend or partner about whom he's very discreet (the boyfriend may be not out).

--You assume he knows you're a couple, but don't know for sure.

--You hope he's available (see: boyfriend possibility) and interested (no evidence cited) and interested in a threeway (again, no evidence cited).

--You hope he's a bottom (no evidence cited).

--You hope he can take a rough fucking (no evidence cited).

In other words, you're trying to confirm a buttload (no pun intended) of ideas and assumptions about this guy leading to sex in very short order. I'm not saying you can't get answers to all of this one night, but if at any point the information goes in an unexpected direction (he's straight, he's got a partner, he has no idea you're a couple, he's not available, he's not into threesomes, he's not into one or both of you, he's not a bottom, he doesn't like rough fucking), you've got to get through the remainder of whatever social setting - dinner, whatever - you have set up with that awkward realization hanging over you. It won't be fun.

My suggestion is to break this into chunks. Tell him you and your boyfriend are looking to expand your social circle with other gay men, and with apologies in advance if you're assuming incorrectly, ask him if he'd like to get to know you both better. I'd say get coffee or something like that first, because you're on neutral territory and anyone can leave at any point. If he agrees, at that meeting, you can find out about his own dating status, and IF he's single and available, then you can continue.

I'd suggest the second meeting also be at a neutral spot, but for dinner. Again, that way, if it turns out you misread him or he's flattered but not interested or whatever, you can finish dinner and leave separately (which is less awkward than him leaving your house and you having to say goodbye at the door, etc. I'd wait until later in the meal to approach him (which gives you more time to decide if you like him enough to continue down this path). Then just lay your cards on the table: you and your BF both think he's attractive, you're occasionally open, and both are interested in some recreational fun if he's interested - and if not, you'll be happy to just be friends.

That way, if he's really not interested, he doesn't have to wait long to end the dinner, everyone saves face, and you go on your way. If he is interested, you can start negotiating details, and furtively discussing those kinds of things over dinner in a public place can be kind of hot in itself. It also lets him choose to think it over for a future day, or to accept on the spot (which is harder to do if he's at your own house for dinner).

 

[Chuckynultien]

1 hour ago, MoonDreamer said:

Well we just wanna have fun and we would like to play with someone younger than us (he's 22 we're 27 and 30). We will use condoms (my bf wants it so I won't oppose I respect that). I was thinking having some dinner, watching a movie and start slightly touching or something or finding a way to imply that somehow.

 

He worked with my bf for some time and we have only chatted. He had once proposed to go and see him (like me going to my bf's work so we can all meet but I said no bcz I really don't want to see again anyone from his job it's full or religious bitches).

I mostly worry if he's in to us, if he would like a threesome and if he can take my dick as rough as I want because I'm sick of carefully fucking, I just want to fuck hard 😄

Step 1 Check the gaysocials Grindr - Gayromeo etc. You might find him over there and this could make it much easier. 

If hé have a profile you might get some extra info about is preferences 

Step 2 Let your BF post a friendly slighty cheeky Hello.  Make sure that your BF have one photo of you as couple on his profile and a statement that he is into threesomes ( Gayromeo might be the best option , 

When the guy respond your BF can react in the way Didn’t know that your gay - catch-up for a drink?  Go to a café and you join the appointment quasi unexpected.

 

[VersGuyAnon]

18 hours ago, MoonDreamer said:

My bf and I (we're both versatile) have a common acquaintant (I've only chatted with him via messenger because he needed something and my bf told him I could help). We know he's gay mostly because of his posts and the way he behaves (he's not feminine though). We've never had a threesome but we really want to. He's younger than us and we find him hot. We'd love to top him hard. There are two things though.. how can we possibly give him a hint of what we want without being too.. ehm direct? I don't want him to be in discomfort. The second matter is that my bf would like us to wear a rubber but I don't think I could ever use one (maybe with some practice?). I thought about inviting him for a dinner but I really dont know what to do.

To be honest, I would be direct. You can be direct but soften it with a certain amount of preamble in your message. That way you save time, you make it clear what you have in mind and, in fact, it could save a lot of discomfort/embarrassment rather than causing it. 

[VersGuyAnon]

18 hours ago, MoonDreamer said:

My bf and I (we're both versatile) have a common acquaintant (I've only chatted with him via messenger because he needed something and my bf told him I could help). We know he's gay mostly because of his posts and the way he behaves (he's not feminine though). We've never had a threesome but we really want to. He's younger than us and we find him hot. We'd love to top him hard. There are two things though.. how can we possibly give him a hint of what we want without being too.. ehm direct? I don't want him to be in discomfort. The second matter is that my bf would like us to wear a rubber but I don't think I could ever use one (maybe with some practice?). I thought about inviting him for a dinner but I really dont know what to do.

Having just read this again, considering your boyfriend is the one who has worked with him, I'd suggest your boyfriend is the one to speak with/message the guy.  

[oyakoslamers]

No no no. If you guys are in the closet how can you expect him to get into your bed? 
Don’t you think first thing first is to let him know you are both gay and a couple? This might even save you a dinner…