Getting over the fear of meeting to suck

[Eyeluv2suck]

Hi I’ve sucked a few guys and it’s really a huge turn on when I finally get the nerve up to do it. But that’s my problem I get nervous and back out of the meeting. I think it’s because I fear I’ll disappoint the guy I’m sucking. Any suggestions?

[Guest]

I backed out two times and then one guy did not show up after I gave him my hotel room number. I was  ready to go through with it though. Then, finally, I was on a multiday business trip and got a pint of Jack & Coke and posted an ad.  I didn't just accept one guy, I got carried away and scheduled 6 guys between 7 and midnight 45 minutes each with my room number. I didn't want even the chance to back out or get all worked up for a no show. Well, five showed up and I lost track.

[ErosWired]

6 hours ago, Eyeluv2suck said:

Hi I’ve sucked a few guys and it’s really a huge turn on when I finally get the nerve up to do it. But that’s my problem I get nervous and back out of the meeting. I think it’s because I fear I’ll disappoint the guy I’m sucking. Any suggestions?

You say your fear is that you might disappoint the guy you’re going to suck - but you’re guaranteed to disappoint a guy you back out on, so what you’re saying makes no sense. Instead, it sounds like you’re afraid of something else, and you’re using “I’m afraid I’ll disappoint” as a (flimsy) screen for the real reason, which may or may not be clear to you. It’s your own fear you’re dealing with, not the other guys’, so it’s not their psychology that’s at the root of this.

A fair number of men post here with questions in a similar vein, to wit: ‘How can I stop being afraid?’ No one can do that for you. It has to come from within. At its most basic, your mind has to make a judgment that you want the potential reward more than you don’t want the potential consequence. Nobody can tell you how to want one thing more than something else.

Seriously, though - if you’re setting up hookups and then backing out on them, stop it. You’re cheating guys out of the time they could have used getting head from somebody with a willing mouth. You’re also ruining your own reputation. Don’t offer your mouth unless you’re determined to use it.  

[Eyeluv2suck]

Thanks for the replies guys. I agree it’s not right to back out but I never really set anything up to disappoint. I’m on Grinder and I get offers but find excuses to not be looking is what I should have said. To the other I’ve sucked after drinking but didn’t like it. I actually like being sober the excitement is better for me that way.

[Guest]

15 hours ago, Eyeluv2suck said:

Hi I’ve sucked a few guys and it’s really a huge turn on when I finally get the nerve up to do it. But that’s my problem I get nervous and back out of the meeting. I think it’s because I fear I’ll disappoint the guy I’m sucking. Any suggestions?

For me, I don't schedule something and back out.  But I have is a fear of disappointing them with my skills. Somewhere I read you have to really concentrate on pushing those self doubts out of you head and concentrate on the excitement of the prize. I am still working on it.  If I make a commitment to go through with it, I really have to work on changing my mindset.

[onlyraw]

I get it - online hookups can be weird- will they look like their photo - will you like them - will you be as horny when they get to your place as when you arranged the  hook up….

so maybe instead of online- go to an adult bookstore or porn theater (are there any porn theaters anymore?)

but if you are there - seeing the actual guy and his cock …. Maybe you will have the courage to suck a few of them

then as you build up the self confidence and are able to accept the fact that you are a cock sucker- you can go back online and start serving guys there 

[austin_submale]

17 hours ago, Eyeluv2suck said:

Hi I’ve sucked a few guys and it’s really a huge turn on when I finally get the nerve up to do it. But that’s my problem I get nervous and back out of the meeting. I think it’s because I fear I’ll disappoint the guy I’m sucking. Any suggestions?

Do you have a bookstore or bathouse/sauna you can go to in order to get some practice?  Practice makes perfect, and some more experience may be what you need to build your confidence in ability to please a guy with your oral skills.

 

[austin_submale]

28 minutes ago, onlyraw said:

I get it - online hookups can be weird- will they look like their photo - will you like them - will you be as horny when they get to your place as when you arranged the  hook up….

so maybe instead of online- go to an adult bookstore or porn theater (are there any porn theaters anymore?)

but if you are there - seeing the actual guy and his cock …. Maybe you will have the courage to suck a few of them

then as you build up the self confidence and are able to accept the fact that you are a cock sucker- you can go back online and start serving guys there 

There are a few porn theaters, but not many.  We've got one in Austin, but we're down to only two places like that.  The other only has booths.

 

[ErosWired]

6 hours ago, onlyraw said:

will you be as horny when they get to your place as when you arranged the  hook up….

This is an important point. You have to make your horniness work for you and not against you. Realize that that very horny mindset in which there’s no doubt in your mind that you want and would take that cock is a fragile state. If you are feeling it, don’t start masturbating, edging, gooning, whatever. Don’t start drinking or using substances that either provide alternate stimulus or change your mental state. In short, don’t spoil your appetite. Keep yourself in that special state of cock-hunger.

I can’t tell you how many times a Top has told me he’s coming to fuck me but he’s going to take a shower first - as soon as I get that I instantly know I’m never going to see him. Why? Because Mr. Horny Top is going to get naked, get warm and wet, and start touching himself in private places all slicked up with soap. He’s pretty much guaranteed to get something out of his system.

 If I put my body in service, I deny myself any access to my own orgasm until I’ve done my duty. My sexual hunger is a valuable asset, and I cultivate it so that a Top gets the most, hungry, most intense response from me that he can get. Stay hungry.

[Guest]

I did it one night with the help of Jim Beam. Sucked 7 cocks over four hours and never looked back. Best sex of my life.

[Guest]

15 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Keep yourself in that special state of cock-hunger.

I think this is good advice! 

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

I had a slightly diffent experience when it came to masturbating. I started out the same as most guys, years of having sex with women but having that thought in the back of your mind of "what would it be like" keeps bringing you tantalizingly close to sucking that first cock. It was hard to get there, and I realized that if I wanted to suck and the urge was overwhelming, I would masturbate and then the urge was gone. I used that as a method to keep from going the distance.

But like a lot of us, after a while masturbating didn't work. I'd still want to impale my mouth on a long fat pole after blowing my load. The thought of having that cock in my ass was overwhelming. That's when I knew I was to the point where I wanted men like I once wanted women. Once upon a time just seeing a hot woman would turn me on, now it was a hot guy. I was blowing my load and rubbing into my hole and fucking myself with a dildo and getting hard again. I knew I needed the real deal.

After that I sucked my first cock. That day I had blown my load and still wanted it and couldn't meet up fast enough. Full on sex came not long afterwards. I stopped thinking about it as "gay sex" and now it's just sex. We like to post accounts of our hotter hookups on this site, but truthfully a lot of us are having plenty of more vanilla sex in between postings, most relationships have a normal sexual component no matter the orientation.

I have been men-exclusive for years now, both relationships and sex. And the sex is fantastic! Masturbating does still work to shut down urges when I fantasize about something wildly outside my norm, but when I hit the point where I can blow my load and that urge is still there, then it's time to give it a try.

Do I recommend that for anyone else? HELL NO! In my case I think I got to where I was always meant to be. For someone who is curious and may never be more than that, masturbating when the urge hits will probably keep you out of trouble (getting caught, catching something) but you will also never get the experience you are fantasizing about.