Tops: what would you do if a bottom asked you to stop fucking if the bottom has already cum?

[smallcocksissyboi]

I have a severe premature ejaculation issue, even if caged. So I have cum accidentally several times seconds into a fuck. I then lose libido and want the top to stop fucking me. I’ve asked a couple of times but they mostly ignore me. Interested in what other tops would do in this situation

[theplayerking]

I’m versatile and if a partner asked me to stop fucking him, I would stop. Period. 

[Bibttmmiami]

If you ask/tell them to stop and they don’t, then it becomes rape  or sexual assault from that point on. 
 

so me, I’d stop. I’m not interested in going to jail. 

[Ieatcumholes]

As has already been mentioned by @Bibttmmiami, once consent has been rescinded, any further action turns into rape.

15 hours ago, smallcocksissyboi said:

I have a severe premature ejaculation issue, even if caged. So I have cum accidentally several times seconds into a fuck. I then lose libido and want the top to stop fucking me. I’ve asked a couple of times but they mostly ignore me. Interested in what other tops would do in this situation

If the bottom says stop, for whatever reason, I stop. More often than not, that will be the last time we get together. (I know that for some bottoms that after they cum what had been pleasure turns into pain. But if you know that's you as a bottom, you should do everything you can to make sure you don't cum and put a premature end to the action...)

But I DO have a story about that...

Back in late 2017/early  2018 (?) this Filipino versatile bottom hit me up and wanted to hook up. I was game. I took my time getting all the way in, and it was THE BEST hole I'd ever been in! 😍😍😍😍😍 And then he asked me to pull out! 🤯 😱🤬 But I did!  I believe in mutual pleasure. AND I wasn't trying to catch a case! He left shortly thereafter.

A few months later, when I was in a relationship with someone else, he hit me up again, and I had to say no cause I was in a relationship. Every so often he would hit me up. The answer would still be the same. About two years later he finally said, "Oh, you should've done X, as I was nervous, and it would've been fine."   🤯 😱🤬 Um, you tell me that NOW and not THEN? Cause the relationship I was in would likely never have happened if he and I hadn't experienced coitus interruptus... Any relationship would've been with him!

The relationship I was in finally ended and he hit me up again and we reconnected. Between his work and school and family, we don't get together anywhere near as much as I would like. But when we do get together? We're both   😍😍😍😍😍!

Looping back to the opening post, I honored the bottom's wish to stop, but, at least in this case, that wasn't the end of the action with that person. (Long game vs. thrill of the moment.)

[ErosWired]

Stop means stop. No means no. Red means Red.

That said, bottoms, the fuck is not all about you. We talk about consent as though it were a one-way transaction, in which the bottom consents to be penetrated and inseminated, to be used by the Top. But this omits the value the bottom receives from the exchange. An agreement to engage in intercourse is in fact an agreement to equivalent exchange, value for value. The bottom receives whatever value he derives from being fucked (which may or may not include a load), and the Top derives his value from the opportunity to breed.

Broadly speaking, orgasm (or some psychological equivalent) is often considered the brass ring for either party. If one achieves it and then cuts the action off before the other, the spirit of the agreement may be breached, and this is probably rightly viewed as selfish by the slighted partner.

That is to say, it’s a dick move.

So you agree to let a Top fuck you, you have a hair-trigger orgasm reflex, and you suddenly lose all interest. So? It wasn’t only about you and your interest. He didn’t have to choose you to spend his time fucking. He could have been fucking someone else, but you represented that you were a viable candidate who would see his interest through to completion. It would seem that you have some obligation to hold up your end of the bargain.

There have been plenty of times when I’ve agreed to service a Top and for whatever reason found myself totally uninterested in finishing, even very much wanting not to. But no Top ever walks out my door until I have done everything in my power to meet his need. I say what I will do, and I do what I say. So does any man of honor.

[Guest]

It happened many times that I cum before the top but iv never asked the top to stop. Foreplay can be a lot more fun after ejaculating, kissing and caressing my butt make my body shiver. 

[descartes70817]

Some bottoms seem love being fucked to orgasm and never asked me to stop, but a few have cum almost as soon as my cock is inside them and told me to stop because it was painful. I just stop moving first but pull out if the bottom tells me to.

[HoneyBuns1980]

17 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Stop means stop. No means no. Red means Red.

That said, bottoms, the fuck is not all about you. We talk about consent as though it were a one-way transaction, in which the bottom consents to be penetrated and inseminated, to be used by the Top. But this omits the value the bottom receives from the exchange. An agreement to engage in intercourse is in fact an agreement to equivalent exchange, value for value. The bottom receives whatever value he derives from being fucked (which may or may not include a load), and the Top derives his value from the opportunity to breed.

Broadly speaking, orgasm (or some psychological equivalent) is often considered the brass ring for either party. If one achieves it and then cuts the action off before the other, the spirit of the agreement may be breached, and this is probably rightly viewed as selfish by the slighted partner.

That is to say, it’s a dick move.

So you agree to let a Top fuck you, you have a hair-trigger orgasm reflex, and you suddenly lose all interest. So? It wasn’t only about you and your interest. He didn’t have to choose you to spend his time fucking. He could have been fucking someone else, but you represented that you were a viable candidate who would see his interest through to completion. It would seem that you have some obligation to hold up your end of the bargain.

There have been plenty of times when I’ve agreed to service a Top and for whatever reason found myself totally uninterested in finishing, even very much wanting not to. But no Top ever walks out my door until I have done everything in my power to meet his need. I say what I will do, and I do what I say. So does any man of honor.

Sure, there’s that. But, also, it needs to be said that it’s not ALWAYS about what the top wants, either. If I’ve made it clear multiple times to a top that I’m a total bottom and I DO NOT want to be sucked and DO NOT want to be stroked because it’ll make me cum - which, as a bottom, I don’t even need to do anyway - and he keeps doing one or the other anyway, and, I cum and am no longer aroused enough for him to fuck me, that’s not my fault nor my problem. 

[CulitoCaliente]

I think it is important for you to communicate with your partners and explain your sensitivities ahead of time. This way you and your partner will be aware of the potential outcomes and feel comfortable to work things out. Also, it might be a good thing for you to come up with a code word to share with your partners so they don't hurt you. When a bottom asks to stop is best for the top to stop. Consent can be taken away at any point in time.

 

I had a top once that bred me multiple times in a row. I don't recall asking him to stop but I did screamed and moaned "baby, I can't handle it." He said "you feel so good, I can't stop now" and kept going until he dropped his last load. He had never done that before. He always stops when I ask for a break and he's always gentle and careful not to hurt me since he has a very thick dick. That day, it was spontaneous and although I felt some pain, I did felt it very pleasurable at the same time. I enjoyed the experience; however, after that time I had a talk with him and gave him a code word. He agreed that if I ever use the code word he would stopped immediately no matter what. That conversation gave me the reassurances I needed and we've kept on having fun. 

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, HoneyBuns1980 said:

Sure, there’s that. But, also, it needs to be said that it’s not ALWAYS about what the top wants, either. If I’ve made it clear multiple times to a top that I’m a total bottom and I DO NOT want to be sucked and DO NOT want to be stroked because it’ll make me cum - which, as a bottom, I don’t even need to do anyway - and he keeps doing one or the other anyway, and, I cum and am no longer aroused enough for him to fuck me, that’s not my fault nor my problem. 

I can’t argue with that. That’s a case of the Top spoiling the experience not only for himself, but for both of you, and he has no one but himself to blame. It might also be argued that causing you to orgasm without your consent, or contrary to your wishes, is a violation. I’ve been forced to ejaculate very much against my will before, and it’s an awful feeling.

[HoneyBuns1980]

6 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

I can’t argue with that. That’s a case of the Top spoiling the experience not only for himself, but for both of you, and he has no one but himself to blame. It might also be argued that causing you to orgasm without your consent, or contrary to your wishes, is a violation. I’ve been forced to ejaculate very much against my will before, and it’s an awful feeling.

It also speaks to the issue which I’ve caught flak before for raising. That being, that not every male who has sex with other males - specifically those who identify as “bottom” - wants to be sucked and needs to cum. Far too many men are genuinely unable to fathom that even remote possibility, and they just assume we ALL prefer the lines between the defined sexual roles of “top” and “bottom” being blurred and meshed into “versatile”. 

[ErosWired]

2 hours ago, HoneyBuns1980 said:

It also speaks to the issue which I’ve caught flak before for raising. That being, that not every male who has sex with other males - specifically those who identify as “bottom” - wants to be sucked and needs to cum. Far too many men are genuinely unable to fathom that even remote possibility, and they just assume we ALL prefer the lines between the defined sexual roles of “top” and “bottom” being blurred and meshed into “versatile”. 

Not only do I not want or need to be sucked to ejaculation, it doesn’t work on me. Head does nothing for me, and a guy has to manipulate my cock in a very skilled way to make me cum. It can be done, but I almost never encounter a Top with enough interest in making a bottom cum that he’s been willing to spend the time to rise to the challenge of getting me off.

To put it in perspective, I was once strapped down and hooked up to a surge milker - a cock milking machine adapted from a machine used to milk cows - and put through six consecutive cycles. The owner told me he’d never seen anybody endure the machine that long. (I could understand why; I thought I was going to lose my mind.)

[BurnAfterReading17]

I don't usually cum as a bottom, but if I do cum and cum first it does become unpleasant shortly after of the top continues to fuck me. 

 

That being said, I learned over the years that "no means no" and blah blah blah, but also I've learned everything is negotiable. Nothing is more irritating to me when I'm the top and the bottom nuts too quickly and then wants it to end. I learned as a bottom that I don't want to ruin my tops orgasm like that so I need to communicate that I'm getting close and that he needs to get there too. 

If I still find myself in a position of cumming first I give the top fair warning that he needs to "hurry up" if he wants to get his while fucking. Then the top knows he is against the clock and needs to focus on his nut and will usually cum in under two minutes. Anything longer than that I'll let him negotiate, "I'm almost there, just another minute" and I judge accordingly if I'm going to believe him or of his time has run out. 

Same thing when I'm the top, I'll pull out of the bottom asks, but I'm going to ask for another minute or two if I know I can cum quickly. If I'm not close at all because he had a hair trigger...then I just pull out because we both know he fucked it up for both of us. 

[smallcocksissyboi]

Interesting replies thank you. Probably should have said that I have said this to tops before meeting that premature ejaculation is an issue and in advance have told them that if it happens they should carry on fucking me. Of course in the moment once libido has gone my mind then changes it’s view, but would tops see the previous agreement to carry on as good reason to continue breeding me?

[UKFFBBBtm]

2 hours ago, smallcocksissyboi said:

Interesting replies thank you. Probably should have said that I have said this to tops before meeting that premature ejaculation is an issue and in advance have told them that if it happens they should carry on fucking me. Of course in the moment once libido has gone my mind then changes it’s view, but would tops see the previous agreement to carry on as good reason to continue breeding me?

From a legal stand point, you can withdraw consent at any time even after originally giving consent. If you agreed to be fucked and then asked them to stop and they didn't then as people have said this is rape. Some tops might continue but I'd like to think most would stop to ensure you don't report them for rape.

Role Play and safe words are no different. If you set up a safe word and they don't adhere to it, you are still withdrawing consent and it becomes rape