Do Not Assume Everyone Shares Your Kink

[ErosWired]

4 hours ago, bbzh said:

Being the clean freak I am, I'm just as upset by the request for a dirty hole in the original post. I've had guys not reveal they are into 💩poop until it's just about time to close the deal. When I say no, they then try to talk to me as if I'm some sort of prude. I've fucked 1000+ guys. I've got enough data points to know when you are an outlier, sir. I've also noticed that very few of these guys will share face pics, which I require before meeting.

I did not get the sense that by “dirty hole” he was making a reference to scat. It was pretty clear to me, in his context, that he considered my hole “dirty” in the general sense that I was a dirty slut in a skanky motel, and in a more specific sense that my hole was dirty=unclean with disease. Which was yet another presumption on his part, that since I was a person surrendering my cunt to anonymous men, I must also be a person with no concern or responsibility for his own sexual health. And that’s not the case at all. I’m regularly tested and, if needed, treated, as vaccinated as I can get, and if there is anything at all amiss, I pull myself out of service until it’s cleared up.

[PozTalkAuthor]

23 hours ago, Kayne said:

It is said that:a closed mouth cannot eat." it means that one cannot get what one desires without asking. the optimal word in that statement is "Asking".

I was once just as foolish im no dogged pursuit of my Manscent/ Musk and WS kinks. It took a long period of  harsh rejection to open my eyes. 

I know that Poz Kink/Fetisization is the ultimate [banned word] for many.  I often think about this one guy that used to message me incessantly on A4A in its early days. His desire to " Convert" me made me feel dirty, sick, and like a piece of meat in a bad way.  Add to that, my own mixed feelings and I felt awful. period. I never hooked up  with that guy. And after a while, I never saw him again.

I get where you're coming from and even though that kind of play is one of my kinks, I'm right there with you. It would beva far different thing if you included fetishization in your ad. You did not. It was rude, tactless and disgusting that this Tool made such wild assumptions. I can see how it would make you feel degraded in a negative way and I'm sorry, I hope you're okay. 

 

That bad experience I had with one fuckbuddy years ago, about sweat fetish - this man was stinky, something really really obscene! I think he didn't wash his armpits, genitals and feet for at least one week - thankfully he declared he worked from home, would never have liked to be one of his co-worker in case of sharing same office. Especially in winter with heater on, or in summer with aircon, and windows closed. Thinking of him makes me feel still uncomfortable. 

He wanted us to lick and breathe from his hairy, sweaty and dirty armpits and the only fun I had, was because my ex liked to be degraded in such way and, knowing relationship was gradually deteriorating, I wanted to see others humiliate him somehow. I felt somehow violated when they both wanted me to lick dirty beast's armpits, then I consented to fuck him, but condition was to wear facemask and condom. It was kinda Bikini on! LOL 

That fucker (and my ex) assumed I had sweat/stink fetish, it was the only time I saw that man, he's a friend of my ex's. 

That is "tell me who you visit and I'll tell you who you are". 

My sensation is that people often assume that when it's a sex-only adventure, everything is allowed. Let me say that, if someone wants to be used and abused by whoever regarding of fetishes and tastes, just lie down in a sling in a public sex place or go to a gloryhole or public toilet, wherever, ass and member exposed and let things happen. But for one-on-one encounter, unless it's clearly specified "anonymous no question", everyone should clarify their limits. 

Specifically on here, "what you're looking for" section is made for a reason!

[hntnhole]

17 hours ago, PissGuzzlerLA said:

their knee-jerk response is to get mad and either block or blast the other party, sometimes publicly

Well said.  There's also the possibility that some guys simply weren't raised with any manners.  If that's so, and they've never bothered to realize/try to remedy that fact, the default reaction could be defensive aggression.  Another possibility is that they're feeling shamed, and lash out from a sense of insecurity.  I'm no shrink, but what's so wrong with treating others with some measure of respect as the default setting?  

[hntnhole]

6 hours ago, PozTalkAuthor said:

We are just discussing right now with no urge or forced decision around

As far as I know, that is the single most crucial thing about a relationship.  Honest communication.  No judgements, just honest communication.  Kudos, and the best of luck !!

[PozTalkAuthor]

13 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

As far as I know, that is the single most crucial thing about a relationship.  Honest communication.  No judgements, just honest communication.  Kudos, and the best of luck !!

It's 12 years we know each other so communication has had time to evolve. It hasn't been, and isn't, easy. But we also prefer to have hard argues rather than finding ourselves suddenly like two strangers, given also that we work together. So, one wrong step might lead to break everything down! 

I've had enough experience from the past, that repressing or hiding something, causes frustration. And how glad we are to read posts here, watch videos,listen to podcasts, even about topics we're not into. Including chems, including watersports (things I'm not into at all). 

Think that my bf was serophobic before. He was afraid to try something with me, because he was scared by the idea of losing me. So, he stayed with an unloved woman. 

And now we play poztalk even exchanging roles. 

This whole topic has been the discussion subject for the entire day.

If there's something turning me off and making me angry? The idea some guys here have: forcing things to induce someone to go further. "I take the condom off to make you realize bb is better", "I poz talk without explaining you what it is", and so on! 

The only occasion where I forced something was with a serophobic buddy whom I revealed to be undetectable after I bred him. But in that case, relying on serosorting without Prep, makes you risk the worst.