what am I doing wrong? (be nice in your replies haha)

[Nay80]

ok online, on here on bbrt on squirt on twitter i get lots of guys saying they'd fuck me, they all chat and see my pics and say they love my hole and would 100% fuck me etc. yet when i see the same guys at the sauna they totally blank me. i can only assume I'm doing something wrong, body language or something. what are your suggestions?

[Close2MyBro]

A lot of guys are all talk and no action.. lol.

[UKFFBBBtm]

5 minutes ago, Close2MyBro said:

A lot of guys are all talk and no action.. lol.

There is this, and there is also a lot of guys at the sauna hold off playing etc in the hope that the "perfect" guy for them, so they walk around, tease, maybe little play but never commit because they hope that the "perfect" guy is just round the next corner 

[Close2MyBro]

Just now, UKFFBBBtm said:

There is this, and there is also a lot of guys at the sauna hold off playing etc in the hope that the "perfect" guy for them, so they walk around, tease, maybe little play but never commit because they hope that the "perfect" guy is just round the next corner 

I've never been interested in the "perfect" guy, I'm more interested in the guy who wants to have some hot nasty sex. Most of my hot sex has been with guys that were less than perfect.

[UKFFBBBtm]

5 minutes ago, Close2MyBro said:

I've never been interested in the "perfect" guy, I'm more interested in the guy who wants to have some hot nasty sex. Most of my hot sex has been with guys that were less than perfect.

Completely agree. As long as the guy treats me like the whore I am, I don't care.

[LetsPOZBreed]

2 hours ago, Nay80 said:

ok online, on here on bbrt on squirt on twitter i get lots of guys saying they'd fuck me, they all chat and see my pics and say they love my hole and would 100% fuck me etc. yet when i see the same guys at the sauna they totally blank me. i can only assume I'm doing something wrong, body language or something. what are your suggestions?

Well, not having seen you at the sauna, I can't comment on your body language.  

But, yeah, I've had this happen to me as well.  There are top guys (or those that are willing to top) that are looking for the next best hole.  You see them, introduce yourself to try to get things going; then, I see their eyes darting around looking everywhere else.  It's why I prefer not to suggest meeting a guy from the apps at the saunas.  If we run into each other and play, great; I'm not going to get my hopes up, though.  If I focus too much on who I plan to see and play with going in, it would take away from the other actual encounters that I might have...some of which may well turn out to be far hotter.

[viking8x6]

If you look in person anything halfway close to the way your avatar pic looks, I'd be all over you in a sauna situation. Sexy AF.

But I think the question is an interesting one. I have the "everybody looking, no one seems interested" experience in saunas, too - and I've wondered the same thing. In-person meets from online connections seem only rarely to result in a "no thanks" dynamic for me.

So, musing on the question, I'm thinking perhaps there's a difference in mindset for people in that situation. I do find once I cross a certain point with someone (often getting into a cabin together) things go much better. So maybe if we intentionally seek interaction with guys, rather than trying to sense interest from them?

[norefusal]

2 hours ago, Close2MyBro said:

A lot of guys are all talk and no action.. lol.

this. 

it's shocking to me how uninterested in sex most men are. my local sauna is regularly packed with guys wondering around for hours never engaging in sex. 

[PigBoyDallas]

Never been to a gay bathhouse as I know guys there are picky as hell and probably not interested in me. I seem to have better luck at adult book stores, parks, the gym, and the one Korean spa in town that's not gay. It seems like guys in those places are more serious about wanting to hook up and jump to it. I think that with "gay spaces" guys tend to be picky and waiting for "the perfect guy"  forgetting that the "perfect" is the enemy of the good or right now. But then again I'm a fuckslut and if a guy is fairly attractive and I'd do him, I do him. I don't have time to waste and I make my move.

It probably helps if you go to something like CumUnion or an intentional sex party sort of thing as guys are there with the intention of fucking. A dealer in our neighborhood has a weekly Friday night thing he offers for guys at at house, guys pay a door fee, go into the spaces to hook up and get down to it. It's nothing fancy...honestly its pretty raunchy...and fuck like animals. It's hot. Are there guys off to the side holding out for something better? Yeah. But most guys are on the mattresses fucking and getting fucked like the pigs they are. Some of the guys holding out are the "pretty boys" who feel they can do better and pass up guys coming on to them. But most everyone is getting nasty on the mattresses. And honestly, there's nothing you can do to change others...but what you CAN change is your perception. Hook ups are a numbers game. Not everyone is going to say yes. You have to run through a few guys to get to yes. Just run through more guys and you'll get to yes.

[ErosWired]

A) Men looking for sex are incredibly fickle.

B) As noted by others above, it defies explanation that what sometimes seems like a majority of men would rather talk about fucking than actually do it.

C) It’s not you. However you might look or act, even if someone doesn’t find it appealing, someone else will. The only way to be disappointed is to assume that you’re going to be universally attractive. That’s never going to happen.

D) Do not confuse chemistry with alchemy. Fucking at a bathhouse requires some mysterious mixture of the latter. Case in point: Yesterday evening at the bathhouse I stopped by the room with the fuck bench in it. There were three guys on the couch doing oral but nobody on the bench. The light was off. I got on the bench. Within five minutes, I was banged by all three of the couch guys, plus two more who came in to check it out. Two hours later I returned. The room was vacant, light was on dim. I got into position. Guys passed, looked in, kept going. Two came in, turned off the light, and mounted up for full-on fucking on the couch, which drew viewers. They lasted a couple of minutes. Then, everybody cleared out. Nobody even groped my ass. It’s a crap shoot. @PigBoyDallas is correct - it’s about numbers. As long as you’re there and making yourself available to the men passing through, some will eventually choose you. The less picky you are, the better your luck will be.

[FunCheerSlut]

9 hours ago, UKFFBBBtm said:

There is this, and there is also a lot of guys at the sauna hold off playing etc in the hope that the "perfect" guy for them, so they walk around, tease, maybe little play but never commit because they hope that the "perfect" guy is just round the next corner 

You have also just described my recent online experience as well. It seems to be that hope springs eternal and mr good-enough won't do anymore.

[FunCheerSlut]

9 hours ago, Close2MyBro said:

I've never been interested in the "perfect" guy, I'm more interested in the guy who wants to have some hot nasty sex. Most of my hot sex has been with guys that were less than perfect.

Preach! This is however what is wrong with our current -- what I am calling -- influencer-based culture and channels for distorting what is possible.

Those who can discard the shackles of boxes and labels in search for the man who also wants the hot nasty sex, will be rewarded and not ironically with hot nasty sex. It's a beautiful thing...be open.

[NWUSHorny]

11 hours ago, Nay80 said:

ok online, on here on bbrt on squirt on twitter i get lots of guys saying they'd fuck me, they all chat and see my pics and say they love my hole and would 100% fuck me etc. yet when i see the same guys at the sauna they totally blank me. i can only assume I'm doing something wrong, body language or something. what are your suggestions?

If you figure it out let us know, where I've lived for the last 16 years every sex venue and all the apps are pretty much blue ball fests. I've come to the conclusion that it is regional, since I was always able to hookup easily before moving here, and still do when I travel. I've just spent the last 9 days on a dedication banging my brains out and am flying home with empty balls and a full hole.

[NWUSHorny]

6 hours ago, PigBoyDallas said:

It probably helps if you go to something like CumUnion or an intentional sex party sort of thing as guys are there with the intention of fucking.

This is regional as well. I've been to Cumunion parties in 2 cities where I don't think anyone fucked the entire time I was there. I've probably been to at least a dozen of them in one of those cities and was only able to find a willing partner twice.

I also have a list of 3 cities where even if the CumUnion party is lame by that cities standards I'm.still going to get my brains banged out. I need to write about the one I attended near LAX on Friday. The LAX party has always been great for me but last Friday night far surpassed any past CumUnion party I've attended.

[Ieatcumholes]

12 hours ago, Nay80 said:

ok online, on here on bbrt on squirt on twitter i get lots of guys saying they'd fuck me, they all chat and see my pics and say they love my hole and would 100% fuck me etc. yet when i see the same guys at the sauna they totally blank me. i can only assume I'm doing something wrong, body language or something. what are your suggestions?

An angle that hasn't been mentioned so far is that you may have a knack for attracting the "pump-n-dump" crowd who not only want NSA sex but don't even want you to know who they are. So when they see you in public, they pretend not to recognize you for fear of you knowing who they are. That's about them, not about you.

And I agree with @viking8x6! I'd do you in a heatbeat! (And I've only seen your avatar pic. 👅)