First time fucked. Unexpected and shocking

[Teeslad70]

Sucked Daddy and another guy this afternoon, but my mood seems to be following the weather:(

[Teeslad70]

The sun definitely brings people out to play. I was fucked hard over a car bonnet this afternoon by a guy in his 40s. Seemed very exposed which just made it more exciting.

I think I'm past the point of counting how many cocks I've had up my arse. I know it's not that many, but it still feels like a lot to me.

Am I a whore yet?

[Alaric]

3 hours ago, Teeslad70 said:

The sun definitely brings people out to play. I was fucked hard over a car bonnet this afternoon by a guy in his 40s. Seemed very exposed which just made it more exciting.

I think I'm past the point of counting how many cocks I've had up my arse. I know it's not that many, but it still feels like a lot to me.

Am I a whore yet?

You really should  take the advice from others to get on prep and routine testing. I look really healthy, but having a woodland meet with me might see you getting a tattoo. You're throwing the dice every time, one day it'll come up double-six.

[Teeslad70]

It's up and down all the time for me really, and not in a good way. I just don't know which way to turn.

[norefusal]

2 hours ago, Teeslad70 said:

It's up and down all the time for me really, and not in a good way. I just don't know which way to turn.

you yourself hold the key. 

if you are doing all this because it's fun and you're enjoying the pleasure it brings: then take @Alaric's advice and act responsibly, take control and be a proud bottom pig. and yes, by most people's standards: getting fucked by a stranger over a car bonnet in broad daylight = you've embraced your inner whore 😜welcome to the club

however, if you feel you have no control over this compulsive behavior and hate yourself for it afterward, than it's probably a trauma response from past abuse and this is not the way to confront it and you should probably take a break or scale back. 

so just ask yourself: why am i doing this? and then act accordingly. 

[Teeslad70]

1 hour ago, norefusal said:

you yourself hold the key. 

if you are doing all this because it's fun and you're enjoying the pleasure it brings: then take @Alaric's advice and act responsibly, take control and be a proud bottom pig. and yes, by most people's standards: getting fucked by a stranger over a car bonnet in broad daylight = you've embraced your inner whore 😜welcome to the club

however, if you feel you have no control over this compulsive behavior and hate yourself for it afterward, than it's probably a trauma response from past abuse and this is not the way to confront it and you should probably take a break or scale back. 

so just ask yourself: why am i doing this? and then act accordingly. 

Thank you.

[Teeslad70]

I'm trying to take a step back from all this for a while. See if I can resist the call. Maybe spend some proper healthy time in the sun. Restore my balance and maybe my dignity.

[Teeslad70]

I'm still looking in here on occasion. If anyone wants to discuss this more here, or in private, then it would be very welcome.

It's a real journey!

[Teeslad70]

Again I apologise if this thread turned into a downer.

[Teeslad70]

A more positive update. Again apologies for the previous downer.

Daddy has been ok with my issues. He said he understood and it wasn't a problem and I could get back in touch anytime. I said he could continue to talk about me with his friends online and off and it still excites me that he does that 

The urge to suck has been creeping back and I unexpectedly got a message from the student I met some months ago. He his heading back home for the summer and it seems he wanted to give it another go before he did. I recognise that urge so we met for an oral meet.

Sadly I didn't manage to cum from his sucking alone, although he did well I assured him it was me and not him. I wanked over his face and shot in his mouth which he seemed to enjoy and made me feel very powerful. I'm starting to enjoy letting other guys suck me, as before I wasn't really bothered.

I sucked him of course and loved taking his young load down my throat. I'd definitely missed it.

Ended up telling him that there are plenty of men out there that would love to meet him, both in his home town or here, and not to wait or be ashamed. Told him a bit about my recent troubles which hopefully might help him cope.

It made me feel a lot better about myself.

[Teeslad70]

Met up with Daddy this afternoon to suck his big fat cock. I've missed it.

Told him what I had been up to and he was pleased. I'm still his good boy.

I'm over 50 but just hearing him say that really makes me stiff 

[Teeslad70]

I've come to the conclusion that I am most comfortable being a cocksucker.

I've had one mad year, and I'm sure I'll continue to have occasional moments of madness, but it just feels right for me at this moment.

[Teeslad70]

Well Daddy can still have my ass, as he did this morning. A usual in car oral meet became a nice fucking in his bed with porn and chat. I suppose I couldn't give it up completely.

I am a cockslut.

[Teeslad70]

I'm posting this from a cruising spot, just waiting to see if there are any after-work cruisers.

I'm not leaving until I get at least one guy cumming down my throat.