Cock Diviniation

[ErosWired]

And Now For Something Completely Different.

 

As we all know, astrology is hooey. The idea that anyone can actually divine anything about his personality, relationships, or course in life from the arrangement of stellar objects in the sky is absurd, and completely unsupportable on any scientific basis.

Divination by penis, or Phallomancy, on the other hand, is, apparently, a thing (woo-woo as it may be).

Below I transcribe the salient portion of the information supplied on the topic at the website on which I found it (source cited at the bottom).

I mean, here it is. I really don't know what to say. Our world is strange.

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Divining The Penis

LENGTH:

Long

For those over the 3.5" benchmark, we can see what an innovative lover you are. What an extrovert! You welcome any excuse to liberate the little fella... You're always on the lookout for new tricks to try out. Some might call you over-confident... It always pays to make sure your partner appreciates the unusal before it's too late. However, you are you are fantastic at picking up new tricks and revel in the details. If you are extremely long, besides being awfully proud of yourself, you are an extremely inventive lover!

Short

Don't despair if you measure under 3 inches. Although you may be hesitant or lack confidence at first, once you get going you can really perform. You might have traditional tastes, you are more of a romantic lover and a dreamer. However, you do have a surprise temper and can be blunt about your desires. You may be a complex lover, but you always deliver on your promises.

GIRTH:

Thick

OK, so maybe you don't have the longest but you've got the thickness. This reveals that your imagination comes into play backed by solid determination and fiery energy. Not a bad combination by anyone's measurements! Some men are thicker at the base of the penis than at the top. This reveals that you treasure your independence. You don't like being tied up or tied down!

If you are very thick at the base of your penis, independence is extremely important to you.

Thin

You may be long, but are you slender as well? Here we have the romantic poetic lover. The sensitive lover who revels in the details and finesse of making love. You express your feelings easily and can talk your way through the whole session. Be careful you don't get the reputation of being all talk, no action.

TEXTURE:

Smooth

A smooth penis shows what an intuitive lover you are. You are able to go with your feelings and adapt easily to changes. You can be a very smooth character.

Knotty

If your penis is knotty, I wouldn't be surprised if you have a whole plan of action mapped out in your head before entering the fray. Being naturally cautious and logical in sexual matters, you tend to hold back, but once you get going, you're on a roll.

Bumpy

If your penis has one or two bumps on it, your partner better watch out! You can be an unpredictable and difficult lover, just the thing for a woman who likes a challenge and a bit of unpredictability.

TIP SHAPE:

Pointed

A guy with a pointed tip is both idealistic and artistic in relationships but he also has a lot of trouble relaxing and letting go. He values his independence highly and is rarely the submissive partner. If you are also long and thin, then you can be a selfish lover!

Blunt/Square

A blunt or square tip shows the owner is a practical lover who prefers to let his actions show how much he loves his partner, rather than words.

Wide/Bulbous

Such a strong sex drive! You are active and original with a magnetic way about you. A wider or bulbous tip indicates a huge sex drive! You are magnetic when it comes to sex. But sex and relationships are completely different things to you so your partners soon learn not to expect anything that you don't actually promise. What you do provide is all action and originality. Not bad if your partner knows beforehand what they're getting into.

CURVATURE*:

Curved to the Right

Do you have a penis that curves to the right? Then, in matters of love and sex, you are a giver not a taker. If you had it your way, sex would be your favourite topic of conversation. You love to discuss all aspects of your love life and have no qualms in asking people about theirs!

Curved to the Left

Or does it curve to the left instead? In matters of love and sex, you are taker not a giver. You are more cautious about giving your all in relations until you are sure you won't be hurt or taken advantage of, and you like to keep your secrets well and truly hidden.

Bent Sharply

But if your penis has a sharp bend in it, rather than a curve, you can be a lecher and a user. Sharp and astute, you don't mind cheating if it gets you want you want.

Long and Bent

If the penis is long and bent, then you are definitely no to be trusted in matters sexual. But if the penis is short and bent then it is more performance anxiety that is the bane of your life. Relax!

Bent at the Base

When the penis is bent right at the very base, you are plagued with the nagging feeling that you don't fit in or belong anywhere. You have the feeling that everyone else seems to get what they want and have it easy, but you feel you have to feel you have the short end of the stick and have to fight for your most basic rights. Quit whining, and you'll find your sexual success rate soars!

 

*Note: Marked or abnormal curvature may tell you nothing except that you suffer from Peyronie's Syndrome, a condition that causes bending to the penis that can be so severe that it interferes with function and can require treatment.

Original Source:

[think before following links] https://aminoapps.com/c/the-witches-united/page/blog/divination-of-the-penis/z662_ElBIxuB1ZmYKdXWNdlvbwRv7pWrEB8

 

[Ieatcumholes]

I actually have a Phallomancy Oracle that was created by a gay tarot author and deck creator under the pseudonym Peter Zout. It's 32 cards and was self-published in 2015. Haven't looked at it in years, but I remember it being hysterically funny.

[hntnhole]

11 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I mean, here it is. I really don't know what to say. Our world is strange.

Well, I don't either ...... 

If some folks fall for this silly business, then they also need to know that I happen to own a bridge over to Brooklyn, and that I just happen to be taking offers on it ...... 

[NWUSHorny]

I'm not going to put any stock in it, but can have a little fun:

14 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Wide/Bulbous

Such a strong sex drive! You are active and original with a magnetic way about you. A wider or bulbous tip indicates a huge sex drive! You are magnetic when it comes to sex. But sex and relationships are completely different things to you so your partners soon learn not to expect anything that you don't actually promise. What you do provide is all action and originality. Not bad if your partner knows beforehand what they're getting into.

Fits me perfectly.

 

14 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Bent at the Base

When the penis is bent right at the very base, you are plagued with the nagging feeling that you don't fit in or belong anywhere. You have the feeling that everyone else seems to get what they want and have it easy, but you feel you have to feel you have the short end of the stick and have to fight for your most basic rights. Quit whining, and you'll find your sexual success rate soars!

This only seems to apply when I'm in OR, WA, ID, AK and BC. I will be on the lookout to see if my penis bends differently when I'm in this particular geographical area.