Am I really that weird ?! Obsessed and affraid

[Iker80]

On 3/28/2024 at 5:13 PM, IntoBBvisitor said:

Thank you for your answer.

So he d know who I am and that I m a slut who pays to get fucked but I "would have no idea" who he is ?

Sound hot because I didn t like him before and I m tottally obsessed with him and his power now.

Problems : I never did blindfold, don t know if I m comfortable with that, and I m definitely not ok with paying...

But I can t stop thinking about it and him.  I fought the whole day not to write to him.

So what's really got you attracted to him? Is he that good at saying the right things to your sub wants? The risk of it? Or because he's a cousin? Or something else? I figure that knowing what's got you so in to him is the thing that will teach you about yourself and what turns you on. If you've got to follow this idea though is a different question. You can learn about yourself from this with or without him from now on. Carrying on talking to him is a type of following this though, even if you never meet. It comes with some risk.

Anyway, sounds like the general opinion here is don't do it. These guys are probably a lot wiser than me. I sometime get in to things and wonder later why I did that. Not saying I don't have fun, but sometimes it isn't as fun as I imagined. All I can say is when I take a chance with something that's part of why it's exciting, but I go in to it knowing it might go badly and I'm accepting that from the start.

[NordicBtm]

I don’t really know the specifics or how this feels for you but my gut feeling from reading this is the following:

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[IntoBBvisitor]

13 minutes ago, Iker80 said:

So what's really got you attracted to him? Is he that good at saying the right things to your sub wants? The risk of it? Or because he's a cousin? Or something else? I figure that knowing what's got you so in to him is the thing that will teach you about yourself and what turns you on. If you've got to follow this idea though is a different question. You can learn about yourself from this with or without him from now on. Carrying on talking to him is a type of following this though, even if you never meet. It comes with some risk.

Anyway, sounds like the general opinion here is don't do it. These guys are probably a lot wiser than me. I sometime get in to things and wonder later why I did that. Not saying I don't have fun, but sometimes it isn't as fun as I imagined. All I can say is when I take a chance with something that's part of why it's exciting, but I go in to it knowing it might go badly and I'm accepting that from the start.

It s exactly that : he tells me what my sub self wants to hear. Plus I ve always been the smarter one and succesful one. Know it drives me crazy to find out that a douche like him could basically have me on my knees and begging... 

People are probably right saying don t do it and and certainly won t, but I get what you say at the end of your comm cause I m the same : I didn t always make the wisest modes when it comes to getting fucked.

[JockstrapBottom]

I agree with most of comments on here: HUGE red flag and you should avoid this situation. Have a serious self-discussion, rub out a load to get that post-nut clarity, then ask yourself why are you considering this? Is it the [banned word] fantasy of a relative? Do you want to submit fully to a dom top for a hate fuck? If it's the second, take charge tops are around and more that happy to oblige you.

From your original post, we sound similar: middle-age bottom, submissive, successful in our everday life but want someone to take charge of us even for a short time. I've had 2 great experiences with dom tops so far this spring: older guy I've played with on a few occassions who knows what gets me going; and a random 20-something driving a crappy souped up sportscar who hate- fucked my throat and ass while telling me how worthless I was. Luckily he matched that attitude with a huge cock and one of the largest loads I've ever taken.

Walk away from your "straight" cousin, lots of dom tops around without the strings, the risk, or having to pay. I bet blackmailing you to pay for his silence with family or your employer would be his next move.

[hntnhole]

4 hours ago, NordicBtm said:

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Are those ^ red?       As in "flags?  r/g color deficiency here ...

[BBBxCumDumpster]

On 3/27/2024 at 2:37 PM, IntoBBvisitor said:

Quick introduction :

I m 47 bottom guy, I ve told a lot about some life changing experiences on this site but now I have to tell you another story that just happend and which has me wondering about myself.

This monday, on some spanish dating app (Wapo), as I was traveling, I came accross the profile of a guy, nice body, great dick, avertising himself as straight but up to fucking some fag as his girlfriend is not into rough sex. He was quite agressive in his way of talking about gays and was looking for holes, nothing else.

I had a feeling that some pictures looked familiar...

We chatted a bit, he asked some photos. He liked my style and ass, the fact that I was obeying pleased him, too. I sent him a pic were my face appears partly, though not easily recognizable (I never do that).

At some point, I lost interest cause he asked for money as he uses gays only to make some cash but that it'd be worth it as he'd fuck me good, he knows what slut daddies like me want, we re up to anyhthing blah blah blah... We went on chatting cause he was turning me on but I had already made my mind : I was mot paying.

And that s when he wrote : looking at your picture again, you remind me of someone. D you have a clear facepic ?

In a second, it hit me ! The pics that loomed familiar were from Facebook but with a blurred face ! It s a cousin of mine !  Daniel ! The stupidest guy in my family ! No job, no money, no education, nothing ! All he s done in his life are some bartending extras in some beach bars and laying the girls ! He is 37 and has 3 kids with 2 different girls but no money ! 

I was in schock ! I was totally turned on by this douche and affraid he would recongnize me.

I had told him about the cage, me as a sissy, me as a cumslut,... everything in order to convince him I was the right choice for a superior straight guy like him to make ! And there is this photo were my face partly appears ! 

I stopped the chat.

Since monday I only think of him ! Totally obsessed. What can happen ? Can he recognize me ? I d love that and I fear that at the same time ! Would I pay him ? Would he still fuck me ?

I m totally lost...

Anyone ever experienced some similar situation ?

My take on this is that he very well knew it was you from the beginning. I don't think he's  looking to meet with you at all, nor do I think he's hoping to blackmail you.   I think he's just trting to fleece you.  If you consider the fact that he's not sexually interested or available, then I think you'll be over it  and him in no time.  Just my take.

[NordicBtm]

39 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

Are those ^ red?       As in "flags?  r/g color deficiency here ...

Haha yes red flags. It’s a common emoji for red flags when you notice them, so if you see it it most likely is to signal that. 🚩

[IntoBBvisitor]

12 hours ago, JockstrapBottom said:

I agree with most of comments on here: HUGE red flag and you should avoid this situation. Have a serious self-discussion, rub out a load to get that post-nut clarity, then ask yourself why are you considering this? Is it the [banned word] fantasy of a relative? Do you want to submit fully to a dom top for a hate fuck? If it's the second, take charge tops are around and more that happy to oblige you.

From your original post, we sound similar: middle-age bottom, submissive, successful in our everday life but want someone to take charge of us even for a short time. I've had 2 great experiences with dom tops so far this spring: older guy I've played with on a few occassions who knows what gets me going; and a random 20-something driving a crappy souped up sportscar who hate- fucked my throat and ass while telling me how worthless I was. Luckily he matched that attitude with a huge cock and one of the largest loads I've ever taken.

Walk away from your "straight" cousin, lots of dom tops around without the strings, the risk, or having to pay. I bet blackmailing you to pay for his silence with family or your employer would be his next move.

Thanks for the advice but the first part won t do it foe me as I m into chastity, no full orgasms and so very few ruined ones. I m totally craving to get used like quite all the time. 

I see a lot of similarities between us though. The fantasy here has nothing to do with the family thing, It could have been any other guy I know and despize.

But I m taking all the advices cause I know it s a crazy situation.

[EuRawBull]

Why don't you save all the chats with him and also ask him to send you a clear photo of him, face, full body with a hard cock in his hand. This way you also have a means of blackmailing him if he threatens to expose you. If he is 'straight' or if he wants to pass as 'straight' he would be more afraid of being exposed than you do. If he doesn't send you the naked photos, then you know for sure that he is afraid of being outed and you have the upper hand.  

Try to play a bit coy: 'Yes, master, I will do everything you want me to do but I need to know you are real and not some fake profile'.  You can also, agree to meet him in a public place, preferably by a supermarket where you normally go shopping. You can casually walk by the meeting place with a bag of groceries in your hand and pretend that you are surprised to meet him there. Ask him to sit down for a coffee. But do NOT reveal your identity. And don't take your phone with you. This way he cannot track your location in any way.  Once you sit down for a coffee ask him for his life, see what he's up to. Like good cousins that you are.  You are sub, I get it, but you gotta take control of the situation if you want him badly.

I didn't understand from your posts if your cousin knows that you are gay. If he knows and you are out to the family, then you definitely are in a better controlling position than he is. As I said, he would not want to reveal his identity if he's not out. He may be gay, gay for pay, bi, etc. But if he's offering himself on Wapo he's not str8 either.

At the end of the day, you gotta talk to him without outing yourself or putting him in a position where he feels threatened or exposed.  Try to be good to him. He may be a jerk, he may not be financially successful, he may have fathered thee kids, but he's probably desperate to get some money. If you're playing your cards right, this could be a win-win situation.

But, from what I read on this thread so far, you are still controlling the situation. Don't lose that control by revealing your identity at this stage. Maybe later. 

[IntoBBvisitor]

17 minutes ago, EuRawBull said:

Why don't you save all the chats with him and also ask him to send you a clear photo of him, face, full body with a hard cock in his hand. This way you also have a means of blackmailing him if he threatens to expose you. If he is 'straight' or if he wants to pass as 'straight' he would be more afraid of being exposed than you do. If he doesn't send you the naked photos, then you know for sure that he is afraid of being outed and you have the upper hand.  

Try to play a bit coy: 'Yes, master, I will do everything you want me to do but I need to know you are real and not some fake profile'.  You can also, agree to meet him in a public place, preferably by a supermarket where you normally go shopping. You can casually walk by the meeting place with a bag of groceries in your hand and pretend that you are surprised to meet him there. Ask him to sit down for a coffee. But do NOT reveal your identity. And don't take your phone with you. This way he cannot track your location in any way.  Once you sit down for a coffee ask him for his life, see what he's up to. Like good cousins that you are.  You are sub, I get it, but you gotta take control of the situation if you want him badly.

I didn't understand from your posts if your cousin knows that you are gay. If he knows and you are out to the family, then you definitely are in a better controlling position than he is. As I said, he would not want to reveal his identity if he's not out. He may be gay, gay for pay, bi, etc. But if he's offering himself on Wapo he's not str8 either.

At the end of the day, you gotta talk to him without outing yourself or putting him in a position where he feels threatened or exposed.  Try to be good to him. He may be a jerk, he may not be financially successful, he may have fathered thee kids, but he's probably desperate to get some money. If you're playing your cards right, this could be a win-win situation.

But, from what I read on this thread so far, you are still controlling the situation. Don't lose that control by revealing your identity at this stage. Maybe later. 

My family knows I m gay but not that kind of gay... Plus I m not really a family guy... It s more the kind of it all and the fear that he might make fun of me... He won t show his face I ve tried already.

If I decide myself for something I will sett up a meeting at my place and see what happens when he sees me. I have to accept what I am an and what turns me on and that s all.

What holds me back to write to him again is that in the last messages it was like he started to hint he knows me. One of my pics reveals a bit of my face.

[EuRawBull]

28 minutes ago, IntoBBvisitor said:

My family knows I m gay but not that kind of gay... Plus I m not really a family guy... It s more the kind of it all and the fear that he might make fun of me... He won t show his face I ve tried already.

If I decide myself for something I will sett up a meeting at my place and see what happens when he sees me. I have to accept what I am an and what turns me on and that s all.

What holds me back to write to him again is that in the last messages it was like he started to hint he knows me. One of my pics reveals a bit of my face.

It seems that you have already figure out your next move. Good luck then and hope it all turns out an awesome time 😉 

[IntoBBvisitor]

On 4/1/2024 at 10:27 AM, EuRawBull said:

It seems that you have already figure out your next move. Good luck then and hope it all turns out an awesome time 😉 

No , no decision and I think it will all eventually remain like that. I didn t write back though he sometimes is connected... I hope it works out for him. His body and cock deserve it 😆