Are you always upfront about your status?

[KindaBasic]

If you’re HIV+, are you upfront about it? tell on,y if asked? or buyer be ware? I’m HIV+ and undetectable, and primarily a bottom. Especially if I’m at bathhouse, though I never lie if ask, I don’t usually figure it is DADT. 

[topblkmale]

 

This assumes those asking are HIV- (and truthful)

 

[meetme]

Yes, of course, I’m usually asked if I’m clean and I say yes. And I’ve kept a zero viral load since I went on meds in 1996.  Whatever he has in his semen, I want it inside me

[PozTalkAuthor]

8 minutes ago, meetme said:

Yes, of course, I’m usually asked if I’m clean and I say yes. And I’ve kept a zero viral load since I went on meds in 1996.  Whatever he has in his semen, I want it inside me

 

Standard answer for "are you clean?" is "I just took a shower!"

[PozTalkAuthor]

Always upfront with partner, not with fuckbuddies (regular or not). But this is the past.

Now I'm partially out, at least "relevant" people know it, so I have nothing to lose any longer if someone says "he's HIV positive".

This discussion comes in the right moment as today I've planned to meet a former fuckbuddy; he was regular when I still was in the (open) relationship with my ex. Now it's since 2022 I haven't had sex with other men! 

The guy just knows we're a serodiscordant couple but has no idea (yet) about who the poz is, and I've been conflicted. 

I'm undetectable and status is not relevant, what stops me is the fear he would get angry and say "you should have told me years ago".

We'll see how the discussion evolves and if we're going to play! My personal opinion is that we do NOT have to feel obliged to come out with our status, it's not something that others have the right to know - especially if it's a short encounter or anyways a person we have no other relationship with.

Health is our OWN responsibility and protect themselves is negs' duty. We are already busy to take care of ours. 

In a stigma-free world, status should be like "I'm blond, I'm tall, I'm short..." but in _this_ world our own protection has priority. 

I've read a story where a man had to demonstrate he didn't transmit HIV, to the judge. Because authorities didn't know about UEqualsU and they arrested him (house arrest) for deliberate damage. Because he told his status to the woman a day AFTER they had unprotected sex. That's my only fear now, but for the rest, people could go fuck off.

I head out to work. Bye.

[PozBearWI]

My online profiles are all clear that I am poz and not on meds.  WRT to discussion?  It depends.  If we're going to fuck I'll at least ask if they are current on my profile.  If I am going to suck them off?  I don't say anything as there is simply no risk left (naturally suppressed viral load and, it's a blowjob).  

[PozTalkAuthor]

True. When online contacts develop in real life meetups and sex is involved, "did you read my profile?" is like "did you read terms of service?" when someone complains about account deletion or whatever. 

Information is there to be read!!! 

[inmyass262]

If you’re undetectable I don’t see any reason to tell anyone. If you have a high count I feel like you should tell if asked. If someone is in a sling taking every load without question then it seems silly to tell someone that your count is high as obviously they have assumed that risk along with every other guy that sticks their cock in your toxic load.