Breaking “Straight” Guys’ Resolve of Condom Only

[KindaBasic]

Isn’t funny how easily straight guys fall apart when they are horny? They insist that they only play safe. But when you refuse to get in and start putting the candy away, they quickly lose their resolve, and throw all caution into the wind.

Went to the arcade last night, and this married guy honed in on me right away. He followed me around from a distance until I went into a booth, in which he quickly followed and slapped the lock closed. This guy was horny as hell. Start groping and making out with me. (It was actually a pretty good kisser, I will give him that.) 

It was almost savage how he turned me around, dropped to his knees and yanked my shorts down. After giving my whole thorough tongue wash, he got back up and whispered into my ear how he was going to fuck me. He then began trying to open up a condom, and that is what I told him I only went raw.

at first, he told me he only played say or not at all. I said OK and started to pull up my shorts. He asked me what the hell, and I told him again that I only play raw. You could see the panic and his eyes, all horned up as he was. Like they always too, he asked me if I was clean. Since I showered and douched before coming to the arcade, I said yes. He then gave up to his primal urges, and raw dogged me like a teenager. After a shot of massive load up my ass, fumbled to put his dick away, he of course, asked me again if I was clean. I laughed and told him that it did not really matter now, especially since he just fucked me. But then I assured him that I was and sent him on his merry way. Is it funny?

[JockstrapBottom]

Ugh, I hate the "are you clean?"

[KindaBasic]

36 minutes ago, JockstrapBottom said:

Ugh, I hate the "are you clean?"

Right? Like it’s 2024, asshole. 

[tallslenderguy]

i have no desire to break anyones resolve.  Really, i think you were just nurturing His resolve and overcoming His hesitation, and ignorance really. A funny sort of teaching moment.  The actual evidence is, U=U,   so while you are poz, since you are on meds, if you are undetectable, you cannot transmit HIV.  

Of course, "clean" doesn't just mean HIV. This guy is fucking at an Arcade. If He does enough fucking at an arcade, without a condom, His odds of getting an STD go way up. It's sort of like going into a hospital and going from room to room kissing random patients.  If He ends up kissing without a mask, His risks  of catching something go way up. One doesn't need a medical degree to understand the odds. 

To me, the real issue is the social stigma we place on having sex. i do not see it as a question of unprotected sex... to me, sex is all about connecting. We never hear  the above scenario of people kissing with masks on for fear of catching something, most would deem that ridiculous.  I.e., if one is to afraid of catching something when kissing, they are going to forego kissing. 

Guys who go to an  Arcade, or other sex venue, and try to make everyone else responsible for their health concerns are way out in left field. The responsibility is on them, not the guys they are having sex with. Yet still, he tried to abrogate his responsibility twice by asking  you if you are "clean."  Going back to my above analogy, that's sort of like going to a hospital  and going from  room to room asking patients if they are "clean."  They may indeed be there for another reason and not infected or contagious, but most people  do not know when they have a pathogen that they can pass along. 

Knowingly having a contagion and not disclosing it is another matter. If i know i have an STD, i don't have sex till i'm no longer contagious. i get tested every 4 months, but the in between time it's a risk for all parties concerned.

[KindaBasic]

4 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

Knowingly having a contagion and not disclosing it is another matter. If i know i have an STD, i don't have sex till i'm no longer contagious. i get tested every 4 months, but the in between time it's a risk for all parties concerned.

I have bloodwork just about quarterly for unrelated health issues, but my nurse practitioner always throws in sexual health tests. We agreed on this years back. As I told her, they already have the needle in, so what is a couple of extra vials. 

But sex is always a risk. There are plenty of things that you might have picked up just before test that have not registered yet. 

[tallslenderguy]

3 minutes ago, KindaBasic said:

I have bloodwork just about quarterly for unrelated health issues, but my nurse practitioner always throws in sexual health tests. We agreed on this years back. As I told her, they already have the needle in, so what is a couple of extra vials. 

But sex is always a risk. There are plenty of things that you might have picked up just before test that have not registered yet. 

i agree, whole heartedly!  

i got HIV and syphilis from a FB who claimed to be disease free.  i do not blame Him or feel badly about getting either infection from Him. He was an awesome fucker and i would receive Him and His cock happily again.  Except in the case of rape, i believe anytime i have sex the risk of disease is there and it is a risk i choose, not something i can make or hold anyone else responsible for. i hate that certain cultures have succeeded in stigmatizing sex, and worse, that many of those who partake continue to promote the stigma, often unconsciously.  All of life is risky, yet sex has been turned into a morality play. fuck that.

[KindaBasic]

5 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

 All of life is risky, yet sex has been turned into a morality play. fuck that.

That is one of the many reasons it makes me batty when anybody, but especially “straight” guys ask, Are you clean? Like, why are you assuming that I am the only possible risk? 

[VistaCaBB]

I like how he asked if you were clean after pulling his tongue out of your ass.  Like little late now buddy. Lol 

[hntnhole]

6 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

The responsibility is on them, not the guys they are having sex with

OBVIOUSLY.  

While I can't say I've heard that question since moving to Ft. L., it seems to me a totally dull, stupid, insipid question to ask in that kind of place. The time and place to ask questions (of ones self) is past, once a guy heads out to a fuckjoint.  

There are steps to take to enhance their chances of staying negative (while only a shower can make one "clean"), and if some guy can't be bothered to take those steps, don't ask me to be their nanny.  Since I take steps to prevent serious infection, I have no inhibitions about answering dullness; there's really no point.  

2 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

and it is a risk i choose

Precisely.  Just getting up in the morning is a "risk" in some way.  I pick up one of the lesser bugs occasionally, and that's simply the price to be paid for living the Life I need to live.  I don't blame any guy for passing some std on to me - there's simply no blame to be passed on.  It's completely illogical to "blame" some other guy.  

[AlB]

Like most here I think it would be idiotic to leave the responsibility for your health to someone else much less to someone you don’t know.  My husband and I choose to play … and we get tested once a month for our knowledge and health; that’s in addition to PrEP as we do not want to contract HIV (not our thing but know many choose to). As some have said were we to know of a transmittable condition, play (with others) would be suspended (we’d be in the penalty box).  If that happened to be HIV and we were undetectable that would obviate the penalty period. 
 

I get that a married man’s risk is great; and I get that most straight men married or not are not very bright particularly when their dick is hard.  But if someone asks us “Are you clean?” they’re in for a very detailed discussion, they’ll have to re-earn the potential to play with us, and that rarely happens.  Not that we never have “the talk;” but we don’t rely on a vague unqualified question and we certainly don’t rely on someone else’s veracity, knowledge, OR the possible incubation periods.  

[BootmanLA]

4 hours ago, KindaBasic said:

I have bloodwork just about quarterly for unrelated health issues, but my nurse practitioner always throws in sexual health tests. We agreed on this years back. As I told her, they already have the needle in, so what is a couple of extra vials. 

But sex is always a risk. There are plenty of things that you might have picked up just before test that have not registered yet. 

Not just "Just before test". If you only get tested quarterly (and I'm not knocking that, just saying), then you could be infected one hour after the blood is drawn for a test and until your next test you have three months you could be carrying and transmitting something. I'd hope that most people who realize they may "have something" would have it checked out earlier than their next quarterly test, but there are certainly some who won't.

I agree that this guy's ignorance is staggering (but sadly all too common), and that it's on him to protect himself. But I still think it's a shit thing to do to lie and tell someone you're "clean" (thus giving in to his archaic and insulting language, and reinforcing his stupid ideas about safety). I'd opt for directness and education (and if he didn't want to fuck after that, well, I doubt seriously he's a good enough fuck to put up with that kind of bullshit.

[Bimarried001]

The first thing I would stop doing is calling these guys “straight”. Married doesn’t make one straight. If so I’d be calling myself straight. 
 

I have had many guys (and some female prostitutes) ask me if I was clean. My answer is usually, “if you are asking me that you shouldn’t be fucking raw”. And I would further say that no one that fucked since their last test can give you that guarantee. 
 

At this point the ball is in his court. I could just say I’m clean but the truth is I myself isn’t certain if I’m clean. I test every so often, but I fuck dozens of times between tests.  

[KindaBasic]

2 hours ago, Bimarried001 said:

The first thing I would stop doing is calling these guys “straight”. Married doesn’t make one straight. If so I’d be calling myself straight. 

As you may have noticed, it was in quotes - as in I am quoting him. If it makes a guy feel like he still straight by playing the top, whatever. Whether he calls himself gay, bi, str8, fluid or Martian, I don’t care since he had a nice cock. 

[KindaBasic]

6 hours ago, VistaCaBB said:

I like how he asked if you were clean after pulling his tongue out of your ass.  Like little late now buddy. Lol 

Right? He should have been able to tell by the tasted of my well scrubbed hole that I was clean and tasty. lol

[KindaBasic]

3 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

I'd opt for directness and education (and if he didn't want to fuck after that, well, I doubt seriously he's a good enough fuck to put up with that kind of bullshit.

It was an arcade, and I was horny and he was horny, and I no longer have the time nor inclination to give a fuck about his or any other grown ass man’s education. If it was a date or possibly a less anonymous hookup, he would just be going home.