Is it inappropriate to offer your hole to fuck in a well known cruising spot that doesn't see much of that kind of activity?

[BootmanLA]

21 hours ago, Ozpig said:

It is entirely appropriate to offer your hole to anyone who wants to fuck and breed you.

That's not the question. The question is, WHERE and WHEN is it appropriate?

I would argue, for instance, that it's not appropriate to do so in the middle of a wedding. Or at a White House dinner. Or at a thousand other places and times where it's just not appropriate.

Public spaces are, in general, not appropriate places. There are some where it's appropriate at certain times but not at others. 

[brnbk]

On 8/30/2024 at 12:39 AM, NWUSHorny said:

The irony is, Portland is a large liberal city, with an exceptionally large out gay population, that prides itself on how open and accepting they are. However, I've never lived or traveled anywhere that was more uptight and inhibited about the act of fucking i.e. penetration with a penis than they are in the PNW of the US or the west coast of Canada. They live to cuddle, play kinks and fetishes, just don't ask them to touch your cock or let you touch theirs.

This warrants an investigation. I am going to try to go doing some digging dicking this weekend and find out more about Portland - Cascadia's/Pacific North West's gay scene.

I do know of something similar here in Canada, where some cities seem to never have sex while others are knee dick deep into homo-Sexuality. For e.g., if you go look up bbrt's sex parties info data and compare three cities, here in Canada: Montreal, Toronto, and Ottawa; the differences will stun you. 

Ottawa probably hasn't had a sex party in the last 5 years with more than 5 confirmed attendees, whereas Toronto and Montreal usually have at least 5 sex parties every month if not every other week with lots of people attending. Why is there such a huge difference in sexual behavior (at least publicly) between the three cities is a very interesting question. Ottawa is a capital city with a history of anti LGBTQ actions by the federal government including anti gay purges and the "Fruit machine" Projected created under the RCMP (Canadian police) to identify homosexuals. Most people are officially liberal & pro gay even though they seem to take great pains to hide their own homosexual relations, identify etc. Toronto and Montreal on the other hand are huge "immigrant magnet" cities: of every greedy bugger² who showed up in Canada in the last 50 years approx. 40% went to Toronto or Montreal¹, and thus by their very nature have an inbuilt openness. 

@NWUSHorny Are there any other cities in the US that are equally uptight and inhibited, or at least come close?

  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

¹ As was the trend over the past 50 years, Toronto (29.5%), Montréal (12.2%) and Vancouver (11.7%) continued to welcome the most recent immigrants in 2021.| [think before following links] https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/221026/dq221026a-eng.htm 

²  Trigger Alert: Bugger or buggar can at times be considered as a mild swear word. In the United Kingdom the term has been used commonly to imply dissatisfaction, refer to someone or something whose behaviour is in some way inconvenient or perhaps as an expression of surprise. In the United States, particularly in the Midwest and South, it is an inoffensive slang term meaning "small animal".

The term is used in the vernacular of British English, Australian English, New Zealand English, South African English, Hawaiian Pidgin, Indian English, Pakistani English, Canadian English, Caribbean English, Malaysian English and in Sri Lankan English.| [think before following links] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bugger

I thought of giving an explanation, simply because I realized on second readings, the phrase could be misunderstood in North American or U.S. English. 🙂 

[brnbk]

17 hours ago, hntnhole said:

That may be true, ................... It's still no excuse for one guy to anoint himself arbiter of that sandy scene.  

Absolutely, and I believe I did state that in my first paragraph, if you read it. 

On 8/30/2024 at 12:07 AM, brnbk said:

Sounds like a very entitled person to me. Who are "we": he and his friends, or the people who "own" the nude beach or the city that owns the nude beach. Some gay men, especially those who live in isolated communities, are very aggressive in their preferences and think it is is their duty to inform you of it. Sounds like a nasty experience and I am sorry you had to go through it.

 

[NWUSHorny]

2 hours ago, brnbk said:

Are there any other cities in the US that are equally uptight and inhibited, or at least come close?

There may be, but I'm not familiar with them. I have lived in Portland for the last 17 years, and have worked mostly but not exclusively in the western 2/3rds US and Canada during that time. I haven't found anything like what I experience in Vancouver, Seattle and Portland or the smaller cities of the Pacific Northwest anywhere else. I seem to have an instinctual ability to sniff out the gay cruising spots and readily find hookups even in most smaller cities, I can still find the gay cruising spots in the PNW, but often can't figure out how to close the deal and actually have sex or worse do and run up against attitudes about sex that are even more puritan than this guy, he at least sucked my cock and let me suck his.

It mostly happens in the PNW bathhouses not cruising spots, but I have a special knack for attracting the guy that knows 1001 ways to have really great gay sex where no one has to touch each others icky dicks, or just wants someone to hang out and cuddle with, which is something I have not encountered anywhere else. I came of age sexually in the Midwest, where I can still easily find like minded hookups, and then fucked my brains out every weekend when I lived in Dallas and Denver, so it was quite a shock when I moved here. There is no way I could have stayed if my job did not involve traveling.

For what it's worth, I just checked the BBRT sex party postings for: Vancouver, BC 3 postings 1 of which is a Cumunion total confirmed participants 3; Seattle, WA 2 postings both Cumunion parties total confirmed participants 2; Portland, OR 2 postings 1 of which is a Cumunion party total confirmed participants 8. So based on that measure alone Portland looks like the hot spot.

If you need advice on hooking up in western Canada, I could easily help you out on Edmonton, Calgary and cities going east into far western ON. If you needed help in Vancouver, Victoria or anywhere in BC you would be better off asking someone else, even though I have spent a lot of time in that area.

 

[hntnhole]

6 hours ago, brnbk said:

This warrants an investigation

That's the best use of hyphenation to cross out a word that I've ever seen ..... just sayin ..... 😁

[brnbk]

On 8/31/2024 at 12:12 PM, NWUSHorny said:

but I have a special knack for attracting the guy that knows 1001 ways to have really great gay sex where no one has to touch each others icky dicks, or just wants someone to hang out and cuddle with, which is something I have not encountered anywhere else.

It could be that the guys there are looking for a relationship, rather than a quick hookup. It is quite possible, that you are rather handsome and the people there want you for something long-term. There are other reasons why someone could be attracting relationship type guys. For e.g. u might look well/better off than them and many guys while choosing mates do prefer someone who is well off, as the logic is you  will be able to afford a relationship in the long run.  However, it could also be that it really has something to do with the local conditions: gays having gone to conversion therapy and avoiding actual homosexual sex etc. Some of such groups really teach gay men, to hug, cuddle and get 'manly affirmation' 

 

On 8/31/2024 at 12:12 PM, NWUSHorny said:

For what it's worth, I just checked the BBRT sex party postings for: Vancouver, BC 3 postings 1 of which is a Cumunion total confirmed participants 3; Seattle, WA 2 postings both Cumunion parties total confirmed participants 2; Portland, OR 2 postings 1 of which is a Cumunion party total confirmed participants 8. So based on that measure alone Portland looks like the hot spot.

I have been observing the cities, Ottawa, Toronto and Montreal, for a long time and can tell u this out of personal experience. The difference in the number of sex parties and consequently publicly visible/available sex in these cities is true for at least the past 5 years that I began noticing it. 
 

 

[NWUSHorny]

Update: I went to the same beach again today. I managed to find a guy to fuck, found one to fuck me, and witnessed 1 other pair fucking. I also saw 4 or 5 pairs of guys sucking, quite a few circle jerks, even more guys just making out and playing with each others tits while totally ignoring the fact that they were naked and had cocks. I didn't see the guy from last week, maybe he decided to play it safe and stay out of the woods where guys might actually hookup and have more than foreplay. Not a bad day for me given the location.

[NWUSHorny]

@brnbk there are certainly a lot of guys looking for relationships here, a huge percentage of the hookup app profiles express their desire for a relationship rather than casual sex, even in the bathhouses a significant percentage are looking for Mr Right instead of boning with Mr Right Now. I'm not sure why I would be attractive to them, I don't try to hide how slutty I am, and while I am a professional with a successful career and comfortably well off, but I don't make any effort to look that way when I'm looking to get laid.

I have serious doubts that many gay men in Portland have been to conversion therapy, it isn't a particularly Evangelical Christian city, but does have one of the highest number of openly gay people per capita in the US. Portland does seem to have been ground 0 for the current cuddling movement, at least in the US. There are multiple cuddling clubs and events that have strict posted rules against any genital touching. One such cuddle party was the primary vector for local monkeypox outbreak in 2022.

I too have been observing and trying to figure out the local scene, for many years, mostly out of the frustration of having to live in it. Originally I assumed I just wasn't finding where the horny promiscuous guys hung out, but eventually came to the conclusion that there is simply less casual hooking up here as compared to most cities.

[brnbk]

On 9/2/2024 at 1:01 AM, NWUSHorny said:

Update: I went to the same beach again today. I managed to find ...................................................................... I didn't see the guy from last week, maybe he decided to play it safe and stay out of the woods where guys might actually hookup and have more than foreplay. Not a bad day for me given the location.

What can I say: I suspect, the guys on the beach read my post, and turned on the groove 🙂, 

On 8/26/2024 at 12:25 AM, NWUSHorny said:

 "it is mostly just jacking off and sucking here, and we like it that way."

Or, the fact that Mr. Owner/Opinion did not show up let the boys try something different than what Mr.

Opinion thought should be happening on the beach. Sounds like u and the guys on the beach had a party. woo-hoo!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On 9/2/2024 at 1:23 AM, NWUSHorny said:

 There are multiple cuddling clubs and events that have strict posted rules against any genital touching. One such cuddle party was the primary vector for local monkeypox outbreak in 2022.

Honestly, gay men just holding a cuddling party sounds so lame and ridiculous like Grindr without GPS, a French party without wine, or Indian food without spices and flavor etc. 

Interesting to note that even a 'cuddling party' is not without its problems. Monkeypox is indeed a serious issue we are facing and gay men who think cuddling is safer than sex - i find the whole concept annoying and slightly homophobic - will think again.

On 9/2/2024 at 1:23 AM, NWUSHorny said:

I have serious doubts that many gay men in Portland have been to conversion therapy, it isn't a particularly Evangelical Christian city, but does have one of the highest number of openly gay people per capita in the US. Portland does seem to have been ground 0 for the current cuddling movement, at least in the US.

Portland is, apparently, a big religiously unaffiliated hub, according to this news article¹, and make up double the size of white evangelicals; which explains the cuddling parties, IMO: people who can't make up their mind if they are OK with being gay or not. A sex party with actual fucking would mean they are gay, while cuddling is unaffiliated and somewhere in the mid of things 🙂 . 

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

¹ [think before following links] https://www.oregonlive.com/faith/2015/03/portland_unaffiliated.html#:~:text=The Portland metro area is,or no religion in particular.&text=Surprise%2C surprise%3A statistics show Portland,area in the United States.

 

 

[norefusal]

On 8/26/2024 at 12:25 AM, NWUSHorny said:

Was I out of line, or was he?

he was. 

apparently inside Walter Mitty's fastasy world, there was an election where he won cruising area president by a landslide. he takes his duties seriously, hence he just had to "side-splain" to you how cruising works. don't listen. getting bred by randos in a public spot is some of best sex! there are no rules and if there were, he's not the official gatekeeper. it's actually most of the thrill: breaking "rules", getting barebacked by a stranger in public where other can see. 

that being said: be aware that he won't be the last cruiser to say "no bufu" when offering up your hole. there are as many reasons as there are different kinds of guys: ones who think BJs aren't "cheating" but fucking is, ones who think BJs aren't "gay" but fucking is, ones who think public BJs are a minor infraction but fucking in public is a high crime, etc 

one place near my old house was popular with dads seeking oral action, but when i offered one guy my ass he said no and went off on an oral history of the site and how years ago the police used to raid it, make arrests etc. 

hearing about the olden days where gays used to have to walk 10 miles uphill both ways just to blown is no substitute for dick up the ass but there ya have it 

in the early days i was weary of cruising the woods alone after dark, but the flip side is a lot more fucking happens after sundown 

[NWUSHorny]

14 hours ago, brnbk said:

Portland is, apparently, a big religiously unaffiliated hub, according to this news article¹, and make up double the size of white evangelicals; which explains the cuddling parties, IMO: people who can't make up their mind if they are OK with being gay or not. A sex party with actual fucking would mean they are gay, while cuddling is unaffiliated and somewhere in the mid of things 🙂 . 

Interesting, I did not know that we were #1 for religiously unaffiliated. I did know we were #2 in the US for the highest % that identify as gay.

[think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.businessinsider.com/the-most-and-least-gay-cities-in-america-2015-3

and 5th in gay marriages (actually I thought we were 2nd or 3rd) 

[think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/u-s-cities-highest-rate-same-sex-married-couples-n852716

but, there is a lot of, for lack of a better term, men who like men but are functionally lesbian, or gay romantic asexuals. I've often wondered if the gay marriages aren't predominately sexless.

Edited September 6 by NWUSHorny

[NWUSHorny]

23 hours ago, norefusal said:

that being said: be aware that he won't be the last cruiser to say "no bufu" when offering up your hole. there are as many reasons as there are different kinds of guys: ones who think BJs aren't "cheating" but fucking is, ones who think BJs aren't "gay" but fucking is, ones who think public BJs are a minor infraction but fucking in public is a high crime, etc 

one place near my old house was popular with dads seeking oral action, but when i offered one guy my ass he said no and went off on an oral history of the site and how years ago the police used to raid it, make arrests etc. 

My problem is, and I'm fully versatile, is that most guys here simply don't fuck or get fucked. Even for oral, which I consider foreplay not the main course, while there are more than enough cock suckers to go around for the limited number of men that allow strangers to suck their cock, there really isn't even an abundance of cock suckers. For the most part the legal issue is close to a moot point, it is legal in any private establishment that chooses to allow it, so you are safe from arrest and prosecution in the bathhouse, ABS, adult theater and even a few bars. We even have officially nude beach parks that have wooded areas that serve as cruising areas. One of my major problems is the guys that don't fuck or even suck, use the same hookup spots and create so much signal interference that it makes it difficult to even cruise for a random fuck. The hookup apps are no better, they are full of profiles of men looking for a relationship, a buddy to hang out with, or guys who only want to engage in cuddling and other forms of very preliminary foreplay, not find someone to fuck and breed with.

 

On 9/5/2024 at 10:47 AM, norefusal said:

in the early days i was weary of cruising the woods alone after dark, but the flip side is a lot more fucking happens after sundown 

For the most part parks have an enforced closing time, we don't have much opportunity for that. Especially when factoring in the cock blocking signal interference, an hour or 2 isn't enough time to find someone.

[brnbk]

On 9/6/2024 at 2:06 PM, NWUSHorny said:

My problem is, and I'm fully versatile, is that most guys here simply don't fuck or get fucked...................................... The hookup apps are no better, they are full of profiles of men looking for a relationship, a buddy to hang out with, or guys who only want to engage in cuddling and other forms of very preliminary foreplay, not find someone to fuck and breed with.

I am wondering if the fear of anal sex and even oral sex in Portland has got something to do with the history of anti gay laws in that state. I was just doing some research and came across the Portland Vice Scandal, and how sodomy (that could get u into legal trouble, was interestingly defined as anal sex but not oral sex in the US at that time, but in Portland it was held that even oral sex was a crime against nature in the judgements of the Vice Scandal case (Peter Boarg,  Same-sex affairs : constructing and controlling homosexuality in the Pacific Northwest).

 

I personally think a city's particular anti gay history has a deep bearing on the city's gay community. I have seen that in the city that I live in, for e.g,: A deeply closeted community in spite of being at least in law one of North America's most progressive country. 

Edited September 8 by brnbk
ingrained bad habit

[NWUSHorny]

8 hours ago, brnbk said:

I am wondering if the fear of anal sex and even oral sex in Portland has got something to do with the history of anti gay laws in that state. I was just doing some research and came across the Portland Vice Scandal, and how sodomy (that could get u into legal trouble, was interestingly defined as anal sex but not oral sex in the US at that time, but in Portland it was held that even oral sex was a crime against nature in the judgements of the Vice Scandal case (Peter Boarg,  Same-sex affairs : constructing and controlling homosexuality in the Pacific Northwest).

 

I personally think a city's particular anti gay history has a deep bearing on the city's gay community. I have seen that in the city that I live in, for e.g,: A deeply closeted community in spite of being at least in law one of North America's most progressive country. 

Interesting, I'm not from here, and did not know that history. Didn't most of the western world have similar prejudices and legal crack downs on gay sexual practices?

While I find it hard to believe that it would still have an impact more than a century later, there is a definite a local prejudice against gay sexual activities that involve either anal or oral. Certainly the desire to engage in penis free gay male intimate activities is something I have not encountered anywhere else, yet is very prevalent here.

[brnbk]

On 9/8/2024 at 11:53 PM, NWUSHorny said:

Didn't most of the western world have similar prejudices and legal crack downs on gay sexual practices? 

In the US and rest of the Anglo world up until the 1912 Portland Vice Scandal, oral sex was not penalized nor considered fellatio or covered under oral sex. The legislature of Portland changed this in 1913 to broaden the definition of sexual perversion and included oral sex under it. 

On 9/8/2024 at 11:53 PM, NWUSHorny said:

While I find it hard to believe that it would still have an impact more than a century later, there is a definite a local prejudice against gay sexual activities that involve either anal or oral.

It is almost eerie but I do believe that history has a way of impacting a city and its culture.