My Education of the Summer

[kitpig]

Ouch !  The emotion in that chapter struck a chord with me having recently come out myself before a family member outed me.  Great writing, and I hope with the Daddies help Jen toxicity is well and truly muted.

SOrry to hear of all the other going's on in life - take care of yourself and take the time you need!!   

[LiamHudsonXXX]

powerful chapter.  the pain is real, and we all can feel it.

[kspozcum]

@nymidtowneast Who knows what might happen? 😉

@BergenGuy Definitely 😉

@kitpig I tried to make this one that some people could really relate to. Life stuff is slowly starting to calm down, so hopefully I can get back to writing more.

@LiamHudsonXXX Glad you enjoyed it!

As I said previously on this post, I am slowly getting back to normal with the crazy life stuff. Hopefully will be getting the delayed Bareback Chronicles update out soon, and my new collab story with @leatherpunk16 is going strong over in its thread, so please go check it out. Otherwise, another non sexy time chapter before we get back into the groove of things.

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Lesson 14: The Science of Compassion

A few hours later, a soft knock on my door woke me up, my face feeling puffy as I rolled over and looking and feeling dejected at the door.

“Go away…” I said, barely able to muster the response, knowing it would be yet another person I had no wish to talk to. I buried my face in the pillow 

“Riley, come on… just let me in,” I could hear as the door slightly opened a crack and Ryan’s voice said, filled with concern.

“What, here to rub some more salt in the wounds,” I said, not even having enough energy to care, “Have to get your punches in too after Jen?”

“Bro… please… just… can we talk?” Ryan said, an almost sadness in his voice as he spoke, “I just want to talk is all.”

“About what…” I said, burning my face in my pillow, my face burning as I spoke, “The fact your brother is a boring, ugly fag? Or is it going to be about how much of a disappointment I am, or how I ruin everything. I got enough of that today.”

I could hear as the door opened and then softly clicked shut. I felt as the edge of my bed sunk, Ryan now taking a seat in the dark room.

“Riley… come on… I could never think that about you,” Ryan said, laying down beside me on his back and nudging me to move over to give him more room, “Scoot, or I’ll fall off the bed.”

Slowly, I shuffled slightly, facing the window to the side of my bed, turning my head and staring at the dark sky outside.

We laid there in silence, the faint sound of crickets barely penetrating the glass of the window.

“How mad are mom and dad?” I said finally, “Since I ruined their perfect dinner for their perfect daughter, and her perfect little life…”

“Riley… they are definitely mad, but not at you,” Ryan said, nudging me slightly with his knee, “I… I truly don’t think I’ve ever seen Dad so quiet and so angry. Especially to Jen.”

“Sure… probably mad the cat is out of the bag and they finally know how fucked up their youngest kid is,” I said, sniffling slightly, “Did you come here to warn me to pack my bags? I guess they finally get a guest room to have friends over in finally.”

“Dude… just stop…. Please…” he said, sadness filling his voice, “Yes, Mom and Dad aren’t what I’d call happy to have found out the way they did, but I’ve never seen Dad talk to Jen like that before.”

“Right, sure…” I said, trying to imagine my parents being upset at Jen, unable to even comprehend the idea, “Mom was defending Jen, and the look Dad gave me when he heard what she said was enough.”

“Riley, he threatened to cancel the wedding,” Ryan said, sitting up and looking at me, his hand on my shoulder, “Like seriously said she didn’t deserve to have one if that’s how she felt about you. Dad was fucking scary when he said it.”

I sat in silence, contemplating what Ryan had said.

“I mean, I got an earful from him too, mostly for not sticking up for you,” he continued, flopping back on the bed, “Seriously threatened to call my boss and tell him to fire me on the spot.”

I rolled over and stared at Ryan, shocked at the revelation.

“I mean, I deserve it,” Ryan said, running his hand through his hair, “I should have stopped her. Nobody should be thrown under the bus and outed like that. Amy and I talked after, and she told me that was actually pretty mild for Jen compared to how she was with you in high school.”

I could only blink and stare at the ceiling, unsure what to say.

“Was she seriously that awful to you growing up?” he asked, looking over at me, a deep frown on his face, “What am I saying… she was probably even worse than I can even imagine. Just… Why didn’t you say something? I’d have never let it go on if I knew.”

“You were busy being the perfect son,” I said, sighing and wiping my nose, “Everyone liked you. Everyone even liked Jen. Me… I was the awkward one. The worst part was she was right on everything she said back then. Besides, you were too busy to do anything to help.”

“Riley, that’s not fair,” Ryan said, hugging himself slightly at my words, “I would have shut her down if I knew, man.”

“It’s not a dig at you, honest,” I said, laying back and staring at the ceiling deciding to continue, “You were the football player. The popular one. Top of the class. In all the clubs and at all the parties. Same with Jen. Me… I was the weird one. Scrawny. Quiet. Average at best. Only a few friends. We weren’t even in the same galaxy, much less the same orbit.”

Ryan stared at me as I spoke, silently contemplating what I was saying.

“You…. you have no idea what it's like being in either of your shadows,” I said, sighing dejectedly, “I mean, I know mom and dad probably see me as a failure compared to either of you. It’s all they talk about. How proud they are of you and Jen. And I don't blame them really. I’m average at best. Everyone is always saying I’m the dollar store brand version of you. I try, but… I don’t think I’ll ever live up to anyone’s expectations. And now… I’m even worse in everyone’s eyes. Like Jen said, the dirty, boring fag.”

Silently, Ryan reached over, pulling me into a hard hug.

“I am so sorry I ever made you feel like that,” Ryan said quietly, “I… Just… Nobody should ever feel like that… You are a great brother, and I love you, no matter what.”

Numb, I laid there, unsure what to do or say. Eventually, I relaxed, surprised at the change in my brother’s actions. Just a day ago, he’d been worried about me ruining things for him, likely seeing me as the failure… and now, he was actually hugging me and apologizing. It felt strange, but also somewhat nice.

“Come on, come downstairs and get some fresh air,” he said, releasing me from the hug sitting up.

Nodding, I got up, feeling surprisingly empty in a good way.

Walking down the stairs, the sound of my sister’s drunken snores emanate from her room.

“I really can’t believe she can sleep after all she did tonight,” he muttered, glaring at the door, “Dad should cancel her wedding after tonight.”

“It’s ok,” I said quietly, feeling awkward at hearing Ryan’s words, “Mom was right. She was just drunk… probably won’t even remember what she did tomorrow. I should just get over it.”

“No, it really isn’t ok, and I promise, she is going to fucking remember it,” Ryan said, his voice taking a darker edge, “Come on, I got someone you need to talk to.”

Silently, we walked down the stairs, making our way through the dark and silent house, stepping onto the back porch.

Sitting there in the calm of the night was Marcus, smoking a cigarette angrily as he looked at his phone.

“How’s he doing,” Marcus said, not looking up.

“Ask him yourself,” Ryan said, plopping down beside him, grabbing the pack of cigarettes, pulling one out and lighting it, taking a deep inhale.

I felt slightly shocked at the scene, not knowing my brother smoked.

“Hey Riley, doing ok?” Marcus said, giving me a half smile, a look of pity on his face.

“I’m fine…” I said silently, sitting down next to Marcus, pulling my knees up to my chest and looking out into the yard.

“He’s not,” Ryan said, looking at Marcus.

“Ryan ever tell you how we met?” Marcus said, looking at me before offering the pack to me.

I pulled one out and took the lighter from him, lighting up the cigarette, before realizing what I was doing.

“Huh… didn’t know you smoked,” Ryan said, giving a slight laugh before looking away, “Just don’t tell mom or dad. Or they’ll likely blame me. Or do, if you want. Would help make me a bit less perfect in their eyes.”

“Heh… worse, your sister will probably blame me,” Marcus said, laughing lightly, “Anyways, Ryan, you want the honors or should I?”

“Go ahead,” Ryan said, taking a deep drag before exhaling out the smoke.

“DId you know Ryan and I were in the same frat?” he said, taking a drag himself and exhaling as he spoke, “He was actually one of my initiates. Not to brag, but I was the chapter president. Anyways, after he made it through, I picked him as chair of social events for us.”

I stared in silence, listening as I too smoked, surprised at the bit of information I was getting.

“Anyways, he made a suggestion for us to work with the university gay straight alliance. A few years back, our frat almost got shut down for a bad hazing incident, barely missed hitting the national news as a gay bashing. Before either of our times, but still, massive black eye on our chapter. I signed on to Ryan’s idea instantly. Was one of the best things we’ve ever done.”

“Did you know Marcus had a gay cousin who lived with his family when he got kicked out of the house?” Ryan asked, leaning back and looking at me.

I shook my head no.

“Yeah, Ian got it rough from his dad. Showed up on our doorstep, the shit beat out of him shivering and half starved. My parents have always been super liberal, same with me. My dad was the one who ended up getting him put in jail. Ian…. He was like a little brother to me. He died about two years ago in a car accident,” Marcus said, looking off into the woods behind the house as he spoke, “It was right before I started dating your sister. Fucking wrecked me so bad. I’ve told Jen about it so many times. And I… I can’t believe how awful she acted tonight, even knowing that. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Sorry…” I said quietly, looking down.

“Stop, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for,” Marcus said, reaching around and pulling me in a hug, “She and I are going to be having a really long talk tomorrow, even with the hangover. I talked with Amy too.. She wanted me to tell you how sorry she was for everything. Told her she’s the one who has to do that. And… Jen…. Jen had no business outing you like that. I don’t know man… this wedding… it's bringing out a side of her I really don’t like. And after this… I really don’t know where that leaves our relationship.”

“It’s ok,” I said, looking down, “That’s…. Just how she is.”

“I really fucking hope not,” he said, letting go of me, “The wedding is off if she can’t figure out how to make it up to you. I can’t help but worry what will happen if we have kids and she treats them like she treats you. If one of our kids is gay… is she going to treat them like that? Fucking laugh and enjoy being cruel to them?”

“Oh…” I said, looking down again, unsure how to respond.

“Just… I think I speak for both your brother and myself when I say you can talk to us about anything,” Marcus said, looking over at my brother who nodded in agreement as he spoke, “No judgement, no shaming. Jen is going to be on notice, same for her loser friend Amanda.”

I quietly nodded, digesting everything.

“Well, I have some thinking to do before I go to bed. Mind if I crash in your room, Ryan?” Marcus asked, tossing the spent butt in the grass, blowing out the smoke, “You and I have to talk about some things regarding your sister.”

“Sure man, I’ll walk up there with you,” Ryan said, doing the same.

Getting up, Ryan gave my shoulder an encouraging squeeze, before sliding open the back door and following Marcus, quickly shutting the door behind him.

I sat in silence for a few minutes, smoking as my mind replayed the events of the night.

I finally grabbed my phone, before typing out “I miss you guys. Had a really bad night tonight. When are you coming back?” to Greg and MIke, before going inside the house myself and going to bed.

[BergenGuy]

5 hours ago, kspozcum said:

“Well, I have some thinking to do before I go to bed. Mind if I crash in your room, Ryan?” Marcus asked, tossing the spent butt in the grass, blowing out the smoke, “You and I have to talk about some things regarding your sister.”

There'll be damn little talking, I bet.