Seroconversion/Actual Risk

[dawsonnb]

Hi folks - stumbled upon this page in a fury of google searches and thought I would put this out there to and audience that appears to be well informed of these things.
 

On February 6 I visited a gay sauna and had unprotected insertive (me as top) anal sex with a man of unknown HIV status.  I know for certain that he engaged in similar unprotected activities with another top partner shortly before we had sex.  I honestly don't know what came over me and why I did this.  I am married with a monogmous partner for 13 years.   I have been watching for symptoms (bad idea) and last night (day 11) I was up all night - I have an itchy rash on my back and my body feels really warm though I have checked and there is no fever.  I also have significant chills, headache and diarrhea.     I know the only way to tell is by testing but I don't know how I am going to make it through the window period with the anxiety I have.  Do these symptoms and timing suggest potential acute HIV?

I did an online assessment with an HIV clinic that suggested PEP was not warranted in the circumstances and my chances of infection were less than 1/1000 - do you agree with this assessment/would you have recommended PEP?  Does the fact that another top potentially ejacutlated in him prior to me increase my risk?  I am what I would describe as "half-cut" - circumcised though they left a lot of foreskin - would this increase my risk?  I was treated for gonno and chlymidia out of caution though I had no symptoms if this is relevant. 
 

I appreciate any advice you may have - I'm convinced I have been infected.  
 

to be clear - I am in no way passing judgment on anyone who engages in bareback sex.  It’s the only porn I watch and clearly I have some draw to it but in this instance I am regretting my poor judgment in light of my relationship and just seeking some information/comfort.   
 

thanks fellas. 

[viking8x6]

It is certainly possible that you were infected. The chances are small. But the chance of being hit by lightning is small, too, and that happens to a few people every year.

The symptoms you describe could be HIV. They could also be any of a large number of other viruses or conditions. As you have significant symptoms and are concerned about them, go see a healthcare professional - that's why we have them, and they can order tests that will give you a lot more information about what is going on in your body.

If the anxiety ("I'm convinced I have been infected") is a serious issue, ask the healthcare folks for something to assuage it temporarily. Benzodiazepines have their drawbacks, but for short-term anxiety they are truly useful.

Keep in mind that if you have seroconverted, you have many options for treatment and are very likely to live a long and healthy life.

[NWUSHorny]

My very unscientific research, has led me to the conclusion that I acquired HIV through topping bottoms that other tops of unknown status had recently ejaculated in. I had several additional risk factors, I topped multiple bottoms like this everyday for a 3 or 4 day period on a sexcation, and no doubt had abrasions on my penis as well as being uncircumcised. I managed to get away with being a bareback top, and paranoid safe sex only bottom for nearly 20 years before it caught up to me, but I would at this point recommended PEP in your situation.

I don't think there has been sufficient study on the risks to tops from multiple use bottoms, and that situation does frequently occur in sex clubs and events.

[viking8x6]

Just now, NWUSHorny said:

... I would at this point recommended PEP in your situation.

At 11 days after exposure, it is too late for PEP to be effective.

[Falls727]

For PEP to work, in must be started within 72 hours of exposure. After this time, it will be ineffective.

[Erik62]

8 hours ago, viking8x6 said:

It is certainly possible that you were infected. The chances are small. But the chance of being hit by lightning is small, too, and that happens to a few people every year.

The symptoms you describe could be HIV. They could also be any of a large number of other viruses or conditions. As you have significant symptoms and are concerned about them, go see a healthcare professional - that's why we have them, and they can order tests that will give you a lot more information about what is going on in your body.

If the anxiety ("I'm convinced I have been infected") is a serious issue, ask the healthcare folks for something to assuage it temporarily. Benzodiazepines have their drawbacks, but for short-term anxiety they are truly useful.

Keep in mind that if you have seroconverted, you have many options for treatment and are very likely to live a long and healthy life.

IF you have servo-converted there is little reason to NOT LEAD a LONG healthy & happy. 

NOT being FLIPPANT but, if you are poz your biggest problem NOW will be your wife/partner. You WILL NEED to discuss this with her & hopefully reach a good way forward. 

Before you do this, PLEASE build a network of help: social workers, psychologists, family guidance experts & a VERY CLOSE & TRUSTED FRIEND. Final result may not be happy but, you will have tried your best. 

Whatever happens your life will continue & you will need to build on what's left. 

GOOD LUCK 🥰🥰🥰!!! 

[PozBearWI]

I agree @Erik62.  Now I can't tell you what you NEED to do; because truly, I think it best if you do you.  But to the extent we care about our mates, hiding the fact of our exposure, much less our actual infection doesn't seem to be a thing people who care about each other would do.  If my mate did that we would definitely have a significant conversation.  But then, we error on the side of candor.  Our purpose to learn who each other actually is, not who we want each other to be.  So we're weird that way...  

@dawsonnb there isn't a requirement here that you must fulfill.  It might be that your SO doesn't care whether either of you present a STI risk to each other.  A whole lot of people are content to just don't ask, don't tell.  That does of course increase surprises later on, some quite life changing.  If  your partner is just a fuck hole, and you don't give a crap what happens to them, you'll not even disclose that both of you are now "at risk".  

One observation I see is that people seem to "follow doctors orders".  Kind of a copout I think.  They seem to live the position that "I have no control over me, whatever doctor tells me to do I HAVE to do".   You don't.  We don't work FOR our doctor.  It is perfectly good to discuss why and to make other than the docs "recommendation".  

[GuyLover]

I told the story of the guy that I met in the bookstore in Wausau WI in 2019. He was from Minneapolis and he was a gifter. I was so excited to get fucked by a guy like that. But afterwards, on the way back home, he sent me a picture of his cock. It was bruised, and it had been bleeding. He had poked his cock and put his blood deep inside my asshole, fucking me really hard two times.
 

So, as I was levelheaded and alone, on my way home, I just freaked out. At the time, that was too real for me. I called my doctors and got on PEP RIGHT AWAY. I tested NEG right afterward, but I have never been tested since although I’ve taken quite a few more loads since.

[dawsonnb]

Appreciate the replies on this fellas - although I was more interested in your thoughts on the actual likelihood of infection in this particular instance.  

[NWUSHorny]

17 minutes ago, dawsonnb said:

Appreciate the replies on this fellas - although I was more interested in your thoughts on the actual likelihood of infection in this particular instance.  

The likelihood is fairly low not zero, but get tested.

[BootmanLA]

1 hour ago, NWUSHorny said:

The likelihood is fairly low not zero, but get tested.

That's about as succinct and accurate an evaluation as any of us can make.

Either you care enough to ensure you don't infect anyone else (including your partner), assuming you are infected; or you don't. If you do, get tested, and re-tested even if it's negative for a month or two (because it can take a while for infection to be detectable by ordinary testing. If you ARE positive, the first few months can be the time when you're most at risk for infecting someone else, because the virus is replicating through your system and your body hasn't figured out any way to fight it yet. So keep that in mind for any sexual encounters you might have until you get conclusive results.