From safe sex to taking loads

[UnsureAboutThis]

I started out always insisting on condoms when I got fucked. Eventually I allowed my regular guy to fuck me bare but I told him that he had to pull out to cum. I went on prep but had too many issues with it so I had to drop off it. After recognizing that he only fucked me and his girlfriend, I changed and allowed him to cum in me. After a while I really started to feel the need for dick in me and since he wasn't always available when I felt the need to get fucked I began seeking others who liked to fuck bareback but I didn't allow them to cum in me. Eventually, the need to "get fucked" became the need to "get bred' so I started letting guys who fuck me breed me but I was always careful to check their status and only meet with guys who were negative and\or on prep. After a while, that caution  melted away so I no longer checked or cared about status. Fast forward, now I allow any guys who fuck me to breed me. I accept all loads but, as far as I know, I've never taken a detectable poz load.  Here's the thing, lately I'm feeling like I want, or maybe even need, to knowingly take a toxic poz load. I know getting pozzed is rare, if not impossible, on a first or second load so I think I need to give it a go. What are your thoughts?

[ffWhole]

Go there and there will be no way back...
Taking loads is so addictive, you soon find you want more and more...
The thrill of 'danger' will give you another edge of kink and sluttiness.
Your story path is one many of us already walked...
Myself included.

[Bottomsub8989]

Coming from a very religious background I grew up with a very strict adherence to condom. No exceptions made. 
When I’ve started prep I’ve started to fuck raw. Now I’m off prep for some various reasons and I’m craving anon raw sex like crazy.  

[UnsureAboutThis]

I think if I try a couple of poz loads that will scratch the itch and I'll be able to move on. In your estimation, is this realistic?

[ffWhole]

1 minute ago, UnsureAboutThis said:

I think if I try a couple of poz loads that will scratch the itch and I'll be able to move on. In your estimation, is this realistic?

There is no trying...
This is more addictive then cigarettes, sugar, coffee or any of the hard drugs...
I know I can get addicted extremely easy, so I stay away from hard drugs.
Bareback - no loads refused sex is all the drug I need.

[Bottomsub8989]

3 minutes ago, ffWhole said:

There is no trying...
This is more addictive then cigarettes, sugar, coffee or any of the hard drugs...
I know I can get addicted extremely easy, so I stay away from hard drugs.
Bareback - no loads refused sex is all the drug I need.

But why is so addictive. I just crave to be totally submissive to males. And still baffles me. 

[Beefyslut]

I came out late in life and at first always insisted on condoms. But a guy I would hookup with regularly introduced me to chemically enhanced fucking and: 1. I went total whore bottom and 2. I didn’t want anything but bb chem sex 3. I became a total slut taking any dick from anyone  4. I wouldn’t let my clueless bf fuck me since I had a raging urge for the feel of raw dick, hot cum while high. I’m still at it ( mostly in our bed when he travels on business). I love my bf but love raw chemsex even more. Send me your opinion of what I’m doing (maybe you’re doing it to…lots of guys are).

[hungry_hole]

2 hours ago, UnsureAboutThis said:

I went on prep but had too many issues with it so I had to drop off it.

What kind of issues?

43 minutes ago, Bottomsub8989 said:

When I’ve started prep I’ve started to fuck raw.

I still remember taking anon loads at the sauna and once the guy is gone, wondering if this is this is the load that will poz you. Nobody was on Meds and nobody was on PrEP. so the bug had plenty of opportunities for infecting new bottoms. 

[ffWhole]

1 hour ago, Bottomsub8989 said:

But why is so addictive. I just crave to be totally submissive to males. And still baffles me. 

Ask any adrenaline junky; base jumper, etc... what drives them... why they are addicted to a dangerous sport.

[SFCumdog]

I mean, let's be honest, at its basest level it's really about how it feels. Both for the top and the bottom. Once you rip that condom off and dive in bare, how can anyone go back to that??? But with that said, taking the load, or injecting it into someone, is just then the natural progression of things, especially once you've gone that far. 

[blackrobe]

2 hours ago, Bottomsub8989 said:

Coming from a very religious background I grew up with a very strict adherence to condom. No exceptions made. 
When I’ve started prep I’ve started to fuck raw. Now I’m off prep for some various reasons and I’m craving anon raw sex like crazy.  

I challenge you to see God in every man who wants to breed your ass. Think of each man's cum as containing a measure of the Holy Spirit. 

Being a vessel for the Holy Spirit is a calling and a vocation.

[Rillion]

"I know getting pozzed is rare, if not impossible, on a first or second load so I think I need to give it a go. What are your thoughts?"

I think you underestimate how many people got pozzed on a first load. 

[GuelphGuy72]

4 hours ago, UnsureAboutThis said:

I think if I try a couple of poz loads that will scratch the itch and I'll be able to move on. In your estimation, is this realistic?

Completely unrealistic.  I am a bottom.  When I first started having sex with men, I was condom only.  But I craved bareback sex.  I went on PrEP a few years ago and once I took my first raw load that was it for using condoms.  Then I took a few loads from poz no med tops.

I am not on PrEP anymore but still taking any and all loads no questions asked.  I have been fucked a few times by a top who is poz and not on meds.

I am at a point now where there is no way I could go back.

[Tanbbottom]

2 hours ago, Rillion said:

"I know getting pozzed is rare, if not impossible, on a first or second load so I think I need to give it a go. What are your thoughts?"

I think you underestimate how many people got pozzed on a first load. 

I'm one of those guys. 1st toxic poz load in my ass and 1.5 weeks later  .... blasted by the fuck flu!

[polyglutton]

(😇) try to see if an injectable PrEP like Apretude works better for your side effects

(😈) continue taking all loads regardless