Bareback: Fetish or sexual practice?

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

I just look at bareback as a natural progression of a relationship. We can start out safe but it pretty much always ends up bareback. I enjoy it but just think of it as sex, not a fetish.

[DarkBone]

On 8/15/2025 at 8:47 PM, onlyraw said:

I think it can be both … it depends on how you do it. …. Or more specifically if you verbalize it … how important doing it raw is to you. 

are you “fucking” or “fucking bareback”?

but for veterans (survivors?) of the 80’s and 90’s who now BB and make being verbal about the fact that they are fucking raw, having unprotected sex, not using condoms….  Than for these guys at that time …. It is a fetish 

So I would say that most of the guys on here …. At least some of the time enjoy the “fetish” …. Or at least “fetishize” BB sex.

 

Thank you, this is perfectly said. 

I never say "fucking" without saying "fucking bareback".  The distinction is huge.  I love using bareback as a verb and as a noun.   I love seeing and hearing the word when I'm spun.  If you don't mind me verbalizing during sex I'll say the word "bareback" 100 times, often without any context at all.

"Unprotected" is also a hot descriptor when applied to someone's hole or cock.

[PozToxVersPig]

2 minutes ago, DarkBone said:

I never say "fucking" without saying "fucking bareback". 

I'm really fucking verbal when we're actually fucking (bareback).  I don't say "fucking bareback" though because I guess I assume (if I'm meeting someone online) that if they've scanned my profile for even a second, the "bareback" is just assumed....

@onlyraw I think it can be both of these things, but it can also be a third thing.  Some gays in the early days of HIV/AIDS refused to use condoms and only fuck "raw" as opposition to the whole "safe sex" movement and what they say as the governments oppression of homosexuality and lackluster response to the early days of HIV/AIDS.  Who would have thought - bareback sex as a protest! 🙂

[Traviscraymer]

Neither, it’s an addiction. 

[hntnhole]

On 8/17/2025 at 9:29 AM, BarebackedBear said:

"The forbidden" that we must never do

... if we wanted to live our our lives.   There were a handful of guys that were so offended by having to use rubbers - in other words, became so "attached" to fucking raw - that they actually kept taking raw cock, knowing it may very well kill them.  This was before PrEP or similar appeared.  

I can't quite wrap my head around those choices, but I knew a few for whom life without taking loads was simply not worth living.  When any one "thing" simply takes over one's life - whatever it is - the results can be tragic. 

Now, of course, the medical arts can offer us ways to live our lives and maintain a sexual life relatively free of what used to be virtually guaranteed mortality.  Every single one of us should be grateful for the choices we currently have. 

Those choices came at a terrible price. 

[PozToxVersPig]

2 hours ago, hntnhole said:

... if we wanted to live our our lives.   There were a handful of guys that were so offended by having to use rubbers - in other words, became so "attached" to fucking raw - that they actually kept taking raw cock, knowing it may very well kill them.  This was before PrEP or similar appeared.  

I can't quite wrap my head around those choices, but I knew a few for whom life without taking loads was simply not worth living.  When any one "thing" simply takes over one's life - whatever it is - the results can be tragic. 

Now, of course, the medical arts can offer us ways to live our lives and maintain a sexual life relatively free of what used to be virtually guaranteed mortality.  Every single one of us should be grateful for the choices we currently have. 

Those choices came at a terrible price. 

@hntnhole - you and I have a 15-year age difference, so I recognize and respect that you saw more firsthand those impacted by HIV in the early days and especially throughout the 80s.  Though I identified as gay very early on in life and paid more attention than your average kid to things like this, I didn't have friends (two family members though) who died of HIV due to what I understand was a chose to bareback.

I've subsequently educated myself, a lot, including about the history of HIV/AIDS.  And I think your statement above oversimplifies things, or that the vast majority of those that died from AIDS had their lives "taken over" because their "life without taking loads was simply not worth living."  I don't think that's fair or representative of what occurred.

Gay men, specifically and homosexuality - have roots in a cultural identity that is largely based on our sexual attraction to the same sex...and the sexual activities that arise from that.  When HIV arrived, we weren't even able to be in rooms openly socializing with each other.  To have community was impossible, so it was boiled down often to sexual encounters which, were "safer" in the sense that they maintained anonymity, could be done quickly, and without disrupting our likely heteronormative lives.

As gay men were able to be more open and out and social communities formed, this remained a part of the culture of gay men.  To expect those that have had to struggle having just this one thing (sex) to suddenly transform in to us dating, marrying and not hooking up implies a cultural shift that's speedier than any other seen in history.

So now we have HIV and the government, which has treated gay men so badly, not recognized their relationships, not defend them against police action, wrongful terminations, insurance denials, etc. is now ALL UP IN OUR BUSINESS telling us "SAFE SEX ONLY" and "USE A CONDOM ALWAYS" - and running campaigns that if I had seen at the time, I would have thought "who the fuck are you to tell me this?"  Not only that, but gay men had a freedom they didn't with heterosexual sex.  There was no risk of pregnancy.  Now the government was saying "you can't have that anymore.  we don't care about you and we don't acknowledge you or your rights as a gay man, but we insist you use a condom because AIDS."

So how did this shake out:  much like today, men went on being men and having sex.  Some portion started using condoms because they were more apt to follow rules like that anyway.  Some continued doing what they'd always done because if you're in your 20s you're mindset is already that you're invincible and if you're in your 30s might have started to become stuck in your ways.  And some rose up and said "You (the government) telling me to use a condom is overreach, control, and you can go to hell."  This latter group, more so than the dudes that just kept fucking raw because it's what they knew, had a formal position on resisting the use of condoms and started a resurgence and perhaps created the sub-culture of "barebacking" as a subcommunity.  Yes, they wanted to have sex without a condom, but they also didn't want the government taking away something they cared about - the intimacy, connection, etc. that condomless sex afforded.  This group combined with the "this is always the way I've done it" forms a large majority of those in these community groups, along with the fetishists.

Unlike some fetishizing groups today (no shame), I don't believe they were "so attached to fucking 'raw'" as you put it.  Perhaps they simply didn't want anything else to be taken away from them.  Perhaps they thought that it was their right to do have sex however they wanted.  Perhaps they didn't want to be controlled.  Perhaps, starved for intimacy as a gay man their entire lives, this one thing - this ONE physical thing - allowed them to feel some part of a connection.

So I think you over simplified, by a lot, and I think it's dangerous to do so.  I'm happy to send you many of the articles, journals, etc. I've read privately, but again, want to acknowledge that I've formed this view without the direct loss of my same age counterparts who you may have witnessed make decisions that would end their lives.  I have much respect for your point of view.

To illustrate this in a more relatable way, replace AIDS with COVID.  It is estimated that somewhere around 700,000 people have died of AIDS or AIDS related diseases in the US since 1981.  For COVID, that number is about 1.3M.  The medical arts had a solution for that too which was vaccines, face masks and handwashing.  We saw how easy that was to get across...........

[allrise]

I started sex before meds were available and television warning us of impending deaths. Always preferred bb, hence it was a Russian roulette for me. I have friends who killed themselves after becoming Poz and others just disappeared.  I became more sensible and started condoms, but became Poz as someone stealthed me. The top removed condom without telling me. 

I was mightily thankful that HAART was becoming available when i converted and the wonderful medical team in London who treated me medically and mentally like a worthy human being. 
But we have moved on, I am not sure if the younger generation is aware of this part of our heritage. Still I am glad we can now all bb without fears  of death and shame. I learn not to judge or be angry but just enjoying the freedom we now have.

It is not a fetish for me, but I do what is natural for me and declined condoms. If hiv does catch up with me one day, I can die happy recalling all the wanton sex and fun. 

[ccmmss]

Bareback is just the best and natural way to have any type of sex.

[hntnhole]

21 hours ago, PozToxVersPig said:

"life without taking loads was simply not worth living."  I don't think that's fair or representative of what occurred.

Thanks for your interesting response, PozToxVersePig.  I appreciate it; these discussions are one of the major reasons I enjoy BZ.  

to the quote above, the implication is/was the fact that a certain type of learned behavior was suddenly cut off, in the view of the majority of their peers at that time.  As you point out, yes - I was a part of the community at that time, and while it seemed a stunning choice for most, there actually were guys that felt that their lives were so interwoven with their sexual practices, nothing else was worth the bother.  I thought then, and I think now that was an over-reaction to all the burgeoning mortalities, but that's my un-researched opinion.  There were guys I tangentially "knew" who became so depressed, they simply ended their lives, rather than wait for the grinding down of their bodies, that whole horrific process.   

For that matter, when one of the gay news-weeklies (Gay Chicago) began publishing all the notifications, it went out of business because no one wanted to pick it up anymore.  I'm not saying that level of despair was widespread, but it did exist, and I find no fault with the men who made that seemingly-impossible choice.  One guy simply laid down in our driveway and died.  Imagine trying to process that in your mind.  

21 hours ago, PozToxVersPig said:

had a formal position on resisting the use of condoms and started a resurgence and perhaps created the sub-culture of "barebacking" as a subcommunity.

That's an interesting p.o.v., and perhaps it has merit.  I'll chew on that one for a while ... 

I think that being "forced" into using barriers (assuming one wanted to live for a myriad of reasons), automatically created an 'anti-barriers' reaction in men who had become immersed in the various "anti" movements in the country, and either felt that "it couldn't happen to me" or simply didn't care anymore.  After all, we had marched, we had organized, we had almost kicked down the societal doors to be allowed out of the closet, and that was a huge achievement.  There was a mindset of "yes, we can and we will", at least in the major metro areas.  Rather than "created", it was more a re-normalization of what had always been the norm.  

21 hours ago, PozToxVersPig said:

I don't believe they were "so attached to fucking 'raw'" as you put it

If you accept that there is a level of "connection" between two men when they fuck raw, that is unavailable when they use barriers, then perhaps you can understand how displeasing barriers was/is to some men.  This website exists for men that are disinclined to use barriers when they fuck, and those types of men have always been around.  Thus, I stand by the phrasing initially used.  Thank you for your perspective, never-the-less.  

 

22 hours ago, PozToxVersPig said:

So I think you over simplified, by a lot,

Sharing opinions about all kinds of issues, relevant to our particular needs or not, is probably the most pleasurable part of BZ for me.  Thanks for your opinions and your post, however I don't believe I oversimplified by a lot (sic).

[PozToxVersPig]

@hntnhole I'm gonna keep thinking about this too and I welcome the additional dialog.  This stoked in me some relatively recent research I did refreshing my knowledge of the molecular biology that made up the strains of DNA (I am a molecular biologist and physicist via education) which led me back to a refreshed court on the history of HIV/AIDS in the USA - so some of this was fresh on my mind.

I, too, enjoy the dialog and I especially enjoy hearing from others who lived and walked the path that I can only study.  

So let me give this some time to settle and me to think about it.  I might shoot you a DM if that's okay.  I'm a little tired from last evening and staying up past my bedtime! 🙂  I also want to ponder this reflectively about my own journey, status, use of meds, etc. right now - 

I, too enjoy BZ for this reason - the connection on topics that otherwise wouldn't come up in day-to-day conversations.  More to come, I hope you're having a great day! 

J

[hntnhole]

19 minutes ago, PozToxVersPig said:

I might shoot you a DM if that's okay

Of course it's ok.  Consider yourself invited !!!

[PozToxVersPig]

1 minute ago, hntnhole said:

Of course it's ok.  Consider yourself invited !!!

Well, I guess it can;t be a CNC scene then lol! 🙂 Just kidding!  I'll hit you up a bit later 🙂