ethics of hooking up with an STI?

[tr4veler]

12 minutes ago, SomewhereonNeptune said:

 

The last I checked, this is still a "discussion forum", except that in some parts here I find it gets rather preachy or holier-than-thou about having specific viewpoints. I certainly don't expect everyone to (or sometimes anyone) to agree with me, but I'd hope we be tolerant of other points of view regardless of finding them offensive. 

Thank you @tr4veler for calling this out. I'll weigh in and say this is a 'choice', but one that should be made with the benefit of information so that people are free to make decisions based on facts. Guess it's now a rarity to even talk about some subjects, and this is a place where I would think there are few or no sacred cows. 

thanks, @SomewhereonNeptune. I agree that attacking someone for posing an earnest question is silly and toxic. I personally practice consistent use of PrEP, testing every 3 months, and abstaining during treatment. After this latest bout of chlamydia, I think I will start using Doxy PEP too. The question was meant as a discussion point since I was musing about the fact that rectal chlamydia is a) extremely common; b) typically without symptoms; and c) easily treated. I wasn't planning on changing my behavior, but apparently this even asking about it makes me a bad person, so oh well 🤷‍♂️

[verbalBTTM]

I'm always honest with my partners, if I have something I let them know. Which I would expect from them 

[phillygwm]

2 hours ago, tr4veler said:

thanks, @SomewhereonNeptune. I agree that attacking someone for posing an earnest question is silly and toxic. I personally practice consistent use of PrEP, testing every 3 months, and abstaining during treatment. After this latest bout of chlamydia, I think I will start using Doxy PEP too. The question was meant as a discussion point since I was musing about the fact that rectal chlamydia is a) extremely common; b) typically without symptoms; and c) easily treated. I wasn't planning on changing my behavior, but apparently this even asking about it makes me a bad person, so oh well 🤷‍♂️

Who are we kidding?  We can all clutch our pearls but there have always been Typhoid Marys since before, well, Typhoid Mary.  People of a Certain Age (like me) have heard the stories of people who knowingly transmitted HIV, back when it was still a death sentence.  Even though YOU are not going out with Chlamydia etc., we can safely assume that some people are.   Everything in life is a calculated risk.

[anonCUMtainer]

I think it's an unfortunate use of language.

Honestly, I qualify as a "cumdump" but the word conjures up images of trash, garbage, dumpsters, etc.

I don't consider myself anything remotely near trashy even though I would let a homeless bum ejaculate inside me. I feel and consider that I am being generous and I am helping my fellow man. AND for me - that means the moral or ethic is NOT to even consider passing on any STI - I feel like I have the responsibility to interrupt the cycle and protect my fellow horny man as much as possible (and to help avoid getting it back).

I have LOST good fucks because they caught something from me...It's the ugly side of bareback. So PLEASE get tested, know your status, treat infections, be informed, and don't spread anything knowingly please men. I beg of you.

[SomewhereonNeptune]

6 hours ago, tr4veler said:

thanks, @SomewhereonNeptune. I agree that attacking someone for posing an earnest question is silly and toxic. I personally practice consistent use of PrEP, testing every 3 months, and abstaining during treatment. After this latest bout of chlamydia, I think I will start using Doxy PEP too. The question was meant as a discussion point since I was musing about the fact that rectal chlamydia is a) extremely common; b) typically without symptoms; and c) easily treated. I wasn't planning on changing my behavior, but apparently this even asking about it makes me a bad person, so oh well 🤷‍♂️

There's always going to be a keyboard warrior no matter where you go. In a way, it's hypocritical of people to criticize any opinion stated about sex with STIs, but we also have discussed the ethics of 'stealthing' on these boards and I've seen people talking about the practice of it (in reality and fictionally) wax poetic about how 'hot' it is. We've read similar comments about non-consensual play. Point is that we should be able to talk about it even though the likelihood is that we'd find it repugnant in reality. Fantasy though...

3 hours ago, phillygwm said:

Who are we kidding?  We can all clutch our pearls but there have always been Typhoid Marys since before, well, Typhoid Mary.  People of a Certain Age (like me) have heard the stories of people who knowingly transmitted HIV, back when it was still a death sentence.  Even though YOU are not going out with Chlamydia etc., we can safely assume that some people are.   Everything in life is a calculated risk.

Anyone going out and having bareback encounters is likely doing so understanding the risks they take in doing so. You should expect that if you aren't asking questions, you're assuming the inherent risks. I and others are only happy to go in bare in a don't ask/don't tell context and already assume that I could get something nasty, or for that matter so can he. Sometimes that risk can be erotic in the right context. But I don't think that either @tr4veler or I will knowingly go out and knock someone with something they can't clear with a regimen of medication. Am I clutching my pearls about that? 

3 hours ago, anonCUMtainer said:

...I feel and consider that I am being generous and I am helping my fellow man. AND for me - that means the moral or ethic is NOT to even consider passing on any STI - I feel like I have the responsibility to interrupt the cycle and protect my fellow horny man as much as possible (and to help avoid getting it back).

I have LOST good fucks because they caught something from me...It's the ugly side of bareback. So PLEASE get tested, know your status, treat infections, be informed, and don't spread anything knowingly please men. I beg of you.

Presuming I even crossed paths a second time with someone and found out I'd passed along something untreated, I'd be mortified about it. Unless it was something consensual and neither of us were concerned or we accepted that as a by-product of our mutual preference for barebacking. But even that would involve a conversation and I gather that point got lost in how some folks might have viewed the OP's post.

[phillygwm]

7 hours ago, SomewhereonNeptune said:

Anyone going out and having bareback encounters is likely doing so understanding the risks they take in doing so. You should expect that if you aren't asking questions, you're assuming the inherent risks. I and others are only happy to go in bare in a don't ask/don't tell context and already assume that I could get something nasty, or for that matter so can he. Sometimes that risk can be erotic in the right context. But I don't think that either @tr4veler or I will knowingly go out and knock someone with something they can't clear with a regimen of medication. Am I clutching my pearls about that? 

What I'm saying is that OP asked his question to stir a conversation, even though he's not meeting guys while contageous.  He got a pretty negative response for even bringing it up.  However, we know there ARE people out there who have and will continue to hookup with guys when they know they have nasty bugs.  Hopefully a small number but we're deluding ourselves by saying they don't exist. 

Asking someone anonymous guy is naive:  If someone knows they're contagious and chooses to fuck/get fucked anyway, are they going to be truthful?  This is apart from guys who got infected last week and don't know it, who are answering truthfully, as far as they're aware.  So yes, we choose to accept those risks.

  

Edited Wednesday at 09:42 AM by phillygwm

[Leatherman667]

I would presume I would  fuck   Many STI  guys.  I fuck mainly in sex clubs and bathhouses. I let any cock come into my mouth and arse. I must catch something! 

[hntnhole]

On 8/30/2025 at 3:43 PM, tr4veler said:

This is hypothetical...for now...

Hopefully it will stay that way, too. 

Would you want to be known as a guy that willfully spreads disease?  Or would you want to be known for your care and concern for your fellow-cumdumps - even if you've never met them?  "Ethics" - or some shred of them - would suggest that you refrain from willfully exposing your brothers-in-the-life from exposure.  It's not forever, after all, and in a matter of days you'll be clear and set to go.

[hntnhole]

18 hours ago, SomewhereonNeptune said:

I gather that point got lost in how some folks might have viewed the OP's post.

Apparently it did.  

In my book, it remains the case that when I catch a bug, I won't go out breeding holes all night until it's over with.  That happens occasionally, and at least my conscience is clear.  I wouldn't knowingly share an std with anyone either.  

[Cleanfaggot]

On 8/30/2025 at 2:43 PM, tr4veler said:

I just tested positive for rectal chlamydia, and I'm on a 7-day regimen of doxy. Normally, I'd fully abstain during this time, but I was thinking of what the ethics of this actually are if you're cumdumping...like, if you're hosting and people are coming to fuck you, wouldn't they already be accepting the risk of exposure anyway, given the unknown number and source of cocks and cum involved? This is hypothetical...for now...

if you lived closer and horny for an ass to fuck i would gladly let you fuck me bare and breed me whether you have rectal chlamydia or not and yes as a cumdump would accept the risk of getting infected with whatever you may or may not have when sucking your cock or getting bred by your cock......

[SomewhereonNeptune]

5 hours ago, hntnhole said:

Apparently it did.  

In my book, it remains the case that when I catch a bug, I won't go out breeding holes all night until it's over with.  That happens occasionally, and at least my conscience is clear.  I wouldn't knowingly share an std with anyone either.  

You and I agree on that. Others can do what they want, but I'd hope we're all better than that. Fact remains though that we need to operate under the premise that not everyone is as honest or above board about sexual health. 

[transferal]

[Sorry about the formatting, I copy pasted one word after using Google to spell check because autocorrect kept changing it to something else entirely. No clue how to ditch the red text.]

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I feel the expectation is generally that you try to either protect folks if you know or give them the info to opt in and out. People tend to be forgiving about catching STIs, even folks who really don't want them (ie- most people), because they assume its an accident.

I have successfully managed to avoid the list of stuff classically categorized as a STI. However, I am very prone to your basic bitch UTIs... I have a trans history (kept the consolation prize from that which is a wonderful dedicated, self lubricating, always ready fuckhole) and had some intersex traits even before that so part of my urinary tract is in an odd place that I think gets small micro tears in it if my eyes are bigger than my cunt, or if I suck my own cock while getting fucked and pull on it really hard with a hand to get it down my throat while getting banged away at. Fingering can also do it sometimes due to nails. Bacteria gets in an then I get a UTI really easy. Thankfully doesn't happen as much as it used to... but now thanks to some honestly it's not so bad. 

I can't believe I am actually hesitating to say this but... I really haven't discussed it before....

For better or worse, my whole lower urinary tract is very much an erogenous zone for me. I also am neurodiverse and certain kind of pain and irritation, particularly in my genitals, can turn me on and can bring me a lot of pleasure. Also, I think for the sake reason certain kinds of pain and irritation, particularly in my genitals, can turn me on and can bring me a lot of pleasure. It doesn't process as much pain, just arousal, stimulus, and pleasure. My neurodivergence makes me hypersexual and sex and masturbation are already my favourite stims by far to begin with so when my cock and fuckhole are burning and throbbing it is hard to pay attention to anything else. I stay horny, partially hard, wet, and constantly aroused and ready. I have to take time off when it happens because I am either at the level of persistent physical arousal that I can't focus on anything except getting more pleasure (and have a much harder time than usual with impulse control), or I am distracted by pain and need to be penetrated or penetrate (depending on where it hurts) as the only way to ease the pain-- by turning it into pleasure and orgasms.

I know not doing any of that is best but I can't manage it, so instead when I needed to, I made sure to keep anything penetrating me very clean and take a day or two off for solo play until the meds kick in.

Honesty is a great policy though because now I have a short list of guys who I fuck during this time who feel it's worth it for the insatiable fuck sessions.

I have one trans guy friend who is a subby masochist who is bipolar and loves when I am have an infection and when he gets one because it's when we're most sexually compatible. The first time I infected him with one it was incidental (he knew but we were both horny) but now I text him when I sense one coming on and since he does not work and loves pain, my cock, my approval, and his pussy used and tortured he comes over to get bred. We've gotten good at getting him infected and on meds in time for the time off I need. We have very sadomasochistic compulsive sex for 12-48 hours. Yes, it gets a bit in the way at life but it's also amazing and primal and makes me love having a brain that short circuits so much in the ways it does.

Last time a few months ago I had a random guy message me on the apps. He didn't care and was just excited how hard, wet, and insatiable it made me. He's got a big dick and is barely 20 and has only a few minutes of refractory period before he is ready to go. We both wanted to have outdoor sex that was a little risky but low chance of getting in trouble, I was also bummed I was too horny to get much exercise in that day, so we went on a hike. I wore an old pair of jeans with a ripped crotch and holes in the bottoms of all the pockets so he could fuck me easily whenever he wanted and easy access my cock and asshole even with others around. He wore jeans and a long T and had his cock out most of the hike under it. We ate lunch at the trail head where he clandestinely (in front of so many tourists) inspected my cock and holes with his fingers and made sure they were ready for the hike. I played a little with his cock after he got it out and once it was hard he tucked it under his belt.

We took constantly breaks along the trail for water and fucking. It was a lot of fun. Once we were a ways a way he unzipped me and pulled out my dick and led me around by my dick until I was hard enough to bend him between a high and low handrail on a bridge with a gap and fuck him so that anyone within 300ft could've easily seen. I normally try to avoid eating ass during casual sex because I get sick easily from it but I was so horny I ate my cum out of his ass, lubed my dick with our cum from my cunt, and fucked him again.

It really made me happy I was honest. Like, I knew that was the right decision but fuck those experiences were such transgressive non-stop hedonistic gluttony. My friend and I have already agreed if the next time is during spring, winter, or summer break we've agreed to just delay treatment a couple days and be monogamous and free use for eachother that week. I am still trying to convince him that we should set up a cam and just do a fuck-a-thon. He's always wanted me to prostitute him and so under FOSFA/SESTA the closest I am going to want to get is profiting from showing off his speared cunt and thrusting away at him most of the day and night.

I didn't even think this would end up a kink of mine. I feel ambivalent about it a lot but the second my junk is burning and throbbing it's great to know that thanks to my honesty I can now breed and get bred when I crave and need it most. Consent is important... and hot.