Anyone else notice a big uptick in racist and misogynist rhetoric in cruising?

[NWUSHorny]

I haven't noticed it, but as a white guy I might not notice.

[norefusal]

i live in So New England and i have not noticed any uptick in the good old "no fats, no fems, no asians" stand by that the gay community can't seem to ever shake. 

what i have seen go wild is the whole "use me like im not even human" fetish. it used to be just "cumdump collecting loads, contact me and if a fit i'll send dets" now it's   "took a sedative and about to pass out. here's address. door unlocked all night anyone invited to come breed me while i sleep" like WTF 

one guy used to post every weekend that he was hosting ass up door open. then it was every night. now other guys are posting "hey, heading over to breed the (town name) cumdump. who wants to come tag team w me?" 😮he went from weekend party boy to tourist attraction in just a few years. 

[hntnhole]

I haven't really noticed this - at least in my favorite fuckjoint.  

In the darkroom, no one can see anyone; it's just rut in a hole, switch to another one, etc.  And, in the rest of the joint, I can't say I've noticed any negative behavior relative to race, or any other divisive qualities. 

There are some guys that eat way too much, but that's a choice, not a racial or misogynistic thing.  

[Iker80]

On 1/21/2026 at 8:06 PM, norefusal said:

what i have seen go wild is the whole "use me like im not even human" fetish. it used to be just "cumdump collecting loads, contact me and if a fit i'll send dets" now it's   "took a sedative and about to pass out. here's address. door unlocked all night anyone invited to come breed me while i sleep" like WTF 

Yeah, lots more guys now wanting to get beat and fucked rough, or fucked like you don't like them. Not an energy I feel so kind of don't get it first hand, but each to their own. Sucks though messaging a hot guy I want to roll around with, kiss, make love and he's coming back with "spit on me while you call me names". Guess it can't always be a match!

[blackholeson]

Nothing new to me, being a bottom while black. I was once told "what a waste of black dick," among other things.

And I might be a little guilty of the misogyny thing, admittedly, but I'm gay because I enjoy the feel and fill of a MAN, and for all the times I've been ignored or fucked with just for being black, I think it's fair for me to politely reject the fem twink with painted nails that assumed I was a top for reasons I can't possibly imagine 🤷🏾‍♂️

My area has a growing crowd of "straight men," transgendered, and cross dressers who can all be incredibly rude when approached by a gay man on a gay app. Between that, my own habits, and the usual BS, finding some dick to juice me up has been way more of a hassle than it needs to be...

Also, hello; I'm new here and tend to lurk but I guess I'm feeling some type of way (other than horny) 😅

[BareBack35]

2 hours ago, blackholeson said:

Nothing new to me, being a bottom while black. I was once told "what a waste of black dick," among other things.

And I might be a little guilty of the misogyny thing, admittedly, but I'm gay because I enjoy the feel and fill of a MAN, and for all the times I've been ignored or fucked with just for being black, I think it's fair for me to politely reject the fem twink with painted nails that assumed I was a top for reasons I can't possibly imagine 🤷🏾‍♂️

My area has a growing crowd of "straight men," transgendered, and cross dressers who can all be incredibly rude when approached by a gay man on a gay app. Between that, my own habits, and the usual BS, finding some dick to juice me up has been way more of a hassle than it needs to be...

Also, hello; I'm new here and tend to lurk but I guess I'm feeling some type of way (other than horny) 😅

 

2 hours ago, blackholeson said:

Nothing new to me, being a bottom while black. I was once told "what a waste of black dick," among other things.

And I might be a little guilty of the misogyny thing, admittedly, but I'm gay because I enjoy the feel and fill of a MAN, and for all the times I've been ignored or fucked with just for being black, I think it's fair for me to politely reject the fem twink with painted nails that assumed I was a top for reasons I can't possibly imagine 🤷🏾‍♂️

My area has a growing crowd of "straight men," transgendered, and cross dressers who can all be incredibly rude when approached by a gay man on a gay app. Between that, my own habits, and the usual BS, finding some dick to juice me up has been way more of a hassle than it needs to be...

Also, hello; I'm new here and tend to lurk but I guess I'm feeling some type of way (other than horny) 😅

I think it’s so hard to be black & gay I’m a top & guys blow me off & treat me like less of a person I understand we’re ur coming from 

Edited February 8 by BareBack35

[versmetropig]

On 2/7/2026 at 5:01 PM, blackholeson said:

Nothing new to me, being a bottom while black. I was once told "what a waste of black dick," among other things.

And I might be a little guilty of the misogyny thing, admittedly, but I'm gay because I enjoy the feel and fill of a MAN, and for all the times I've been ignored or fucked with just for being black, I think it's fair for me to politely reject the fem twink with painted nails that assumed I was a top for reasons I can't possibly imagine 🤷🏾‍♂️

My area has a growing crowd of "straight men," transgendered, and cross dressers who can all be incredibly rude when approached by a gay man on a gay app. Between that, my own habits, and the usual BS, finding some dick to juice me up has been way more of a hassle than it needs to be...

Also, hello; I'm new here and tend to lurk but I guess I'm feeling some type of way (other than horny) 😅

@blackholeson and @BareBack35 - there's definitely been an increase in racist postings and behaviors on most sites lately, perhaps in response to our political "leaders" making this kind of behavior mainstream. The trend seems to come and go through the years, sometimes the behavior is blatant and at other times it is more subtle, but unfortunately it never seems to disappear completely. I've been playing the field of gay sex for 49 of my 63 years so far on this planet and I've noticed the swings in such behavior over time.

I'm fortunate enough to be 4th Generation New York City, an environment that allowed me to fully indulge my love of  variety - as a Top/Vers with no upper limit on age, who finds men of all races and nationalities hot, and few limits on body type - NYC and environs are perfect for me in the vast variety of men that I have been lucky enough to play with. Having parents who raised me to accept everyone for who they are rather than what race/nationality/religion they were part of has been one of my great blessings in life, and was I in for a shock as I matured to find out how many of my friends were NOT brought up that way. My parents apparently, were outliers, especially in the 60's, 70's and 80's and I didn't know how many of my peers would have "issues" during high school and college when this Irish guy dated African American and Hispanic girls and then later in college Hispanic and African and Asian guys. Oddly, they were less concerned with my dating other guys than what groups they belonged to! Mind you, my parents didn't have a problem with ANY of them, so long as they were nice and treated me well.  That being said, most of my life that kind of disapproval was very very subtle, not overt as it is currently, and it didn't seem to come with as much vitriol attached.

By the way, try showing up at a leather bar at 19 when you are a blond, blue-eyed dance student and try to convince the men there that you are a top...

In the late '80s between the musical productions I was in I worked for New York City's first gay computer dating service, I  noticed a number of profiles that would say they would only meet men of certain ethnicities - and this wasn't restricted to just white guys only wanting white guys, there were lots of men of color who would only want other hispanics, or other african-american guys only, and asian men seemed to get the most negative comments from other groups. I was astonished. Then there were those profiles who would ONLY meet men from OTHER ethnic groups.

(Funny story about one of those - we had an African-American member who was STUNNINGLY gorgeous and would only meet white men, and - stupidly in my opinion - not a lot of white members who were okay with meeting men of color. My boss said to me, "wait, your own profile says you are cool with meeting men of any race, would you date this guy if your compatibility profiles match up enough?" Hell yes, I would. Turns out our profiles matched at 96% and anything over 80% was considered a good enough match to go out on a date. So we had dinner, then went back to his place - he had an incredible body and like me he was sexually versatile and we fucked each other and had some very good sex. When my boss called him to follow up on how the date went, his response was that the sex was amazing, but that I was still "a bit too ethnic, you know, too Irish and Catholic, instead of a real anglo-saxon white protestant guy". I was disappointed, but the response did make me laugh. Never forgot him and years later we bumped into each other and had a few more really hot flip fucks before he moved out west to SALT LAKE CITY still trying to find the ultimate white boy...)

I once tried to fulfill a fantasy for a bottom friend of mine who got himself all enhanced and blindfolded and wanted me to "force" him to take any of my top friends or any rando top and gangbang him - EXCEPT I was not allowed to invite any African-American tops at all. ????? He was himself Hispanic and lived on the border between Washington Heights and Harlem, and I'm like "excuse me?" First of all, like most guys who top a lot, I don't have a huge line up of top friends who want to schlep to someone's house and fuck for 5 minutes and leave, and in my case most of those guys would indeed be African-American, let alone those I would source on-line from the neighborhood, and he wants to be gangbanged, but leave them out? WHILE HE'S BLINDFOLDED? He never knew I broke the rule. 5 times. He would have only had one other top besides me...

In the age of the internet hook-up sites went from having lots of those exclusionary profiles at first, to much less of that sort of thing overtly written in the profile. While this should have been an improvement overall, there were some factors that were less than positive. The number of guys who were okay with men of color fucking them and then leaving - the mythos of the BBC - increased dramatically, where the profile owner seemed to consider African American men as nothing more than living breathing dildos and objectified them to the point of forgetting their humanity. That has got to be extremely frustrating I imagine, much less annoying. After years of seeing less overt racism on the sites, it does seem to be on the rise again.

THE PROBLEM STEMS FROM THE DICHOTOMY BETWEEN TREATING EVERY ONE ELSE FAIRLY AND WHAT WE ARE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO.  I am lucky enough to be sexually attracted to men of all colors, ages and most body types. But even I have certain limits where my attraction for someone wains. It may be "shallow" but I do not get aroused by extreme femininity or extreme morbid obesity. And I am talking extremes here - people who totally look, dress, speak and act like a woman don't turn me on as I am attracted to MEN and things considered masculine - more power to someone who genuinely identifies that way and is comfortable living that way, but that's still not going to activate my libido - I had sex - albeit unsatisfying - with a good number of females and that side of sexuality just doesn't turn me on whether the person displaying those traits are female or male in their genital area. It doesn't turn me on. And I tried having sex with a gentleman who was well over 300 lbs since we had clicked while having conversation, but I just could not rise to the occasion when we got naked. I wish I had, but his body did not arouse any desire in me.

So I can understand that you really can't change what arouses you - but in my case at least, I tried to see if I could get past those two issues, but found I could not  - while I think in the case of many of these restrictive racist type profiles that they've never allowed the possibility of seeing if someone of another race arouses them, put off by hatreds and fears instilled by their upbringing and that they actually FEARED finding themselves attracted to a man of another race or ethnicity they were taught were somehow lesser than them or were taught they should hate on sight. It's a tragedy, and I don't know how it can change in the macrocosm until we stop teaching our kids to be afraid of - or hate - those that are different.

I know I would be more than happy to have a session with either of you two @BareBack35and @blackholeson other idiots don't know what they are missing. And, @blackholeson, welcome to the site. Enjoy!