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Was I in the wrong, and more importantly did I scare a young guy out of exploring his piggish side?


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Posted

I'm with the "you did nothing wrong" crowd. I think it's regrettable that you inadvertently pushed his boundaries, but I can't think of any way you could have guessed that he had them at that particular point. I find it rather surprising that someone with a boundary there would be at a bathhouse in the first place (I'd expect it at a mall bathroom, more like), but hey - kids these days!

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Posted
12 hours ago, NordicBtm said:

You definitely did nothing wrong.

I agree.  Definitely.

I can't discern anything "wrong" from what you've shared either.  Every guy begins his sexual journey at some point, and I'll bet you the kid you reference might have some notions to sort through.  Maybe the kid was raised to have beliefs that run counter to the kind of sex we rawguys need, and it just flipped him out. 

It can be confounding, trying to figure out the reasons for seeking out that kind of a place, and then reacting in such a strange way when an opportunity presents itself.  I'd just put it down to some poor kid, raised in a particularly cruel way, trying to come to terms with who and what he is.  If you see him again, buy him a soda and just let him talk it out (with a little encouragement from you, if it seems appropriate).  

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Posted

I don't think you did anything wrong at all.

I also think the presence of his friends there in the same building may have to do something with his reaction. I've often heard that we spend our time in high school (and from what you describe he is pretty close to that age) trying to fit in, and the rest of our lives trying to stand out. He may still be in that trying to fit in stage and more worried about what his friends would think while simultaneously trying to   find  way to be a slut like I think he probably wants to be.  

I wouldn't be surprised if you see him there again very soon. If you do, try to be the helpful mentor that many of us never got growing up.  Talk to him if you can, ask if you did anything wrong, listen to him and don't be too surprised if it ends up being him apologizing to you for acting like a scared little kitten. It's sometimes hard to remember what it's like to be that age after living a life and having the hindsight of a lived life. Try to remember all of those things that we all go through at his age which seemed monumental back then but we barely remember now. 

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