Outercourse Another New Term For Non-penetrative Sex

[hntnhole]

NWUSHorny, I'm so sorry it's come to this state of affairs in your area.  I wonder how it happened .... 

What, exactly, defines "a Spa" in your area?  Sounds kinda like what we called the baths/tubs. (I mean, where guys went to actually fuck) ... is there any difference ?

[NWUSHorny]

29 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

NWUSHorny, I'm so sorry it's come to this state of affairs in your area.  I wonder how it happened .... 

What, exactly, defines "a Spa" in your area?  Sounds kinda like what we called the baths/tubs. (I mean, where guys went to actually fuck) ... is there any difference ?

The emphasis is on guys giving each other spa type treatments, there are always massage tables and guys looking to give/receive massages, they frequently also include guys that come to do manicures and pedicures, sometimes a barber, and less often body shaving. Omen [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.omenpdx.org/events/11949 is the name of the group that hosts them, and it is not a sex centric organization. I see from there website, that they are no longer the host of the events at Steam and a quick check of the Steam website now call the  events "Radical Rub Down". The Wednesday night event at Hawks actually contains a warning:

"Sensual/Sexual Intent: Sensual things may happen at this public event. It's still a naked gathering but it's at a bath house. There may be both social and sexual activities in the areas of the venue. The consensual sexual activities may happen in all areas of the location, but mainly in the room areas/play areas. Boners OK and allowed in all area and it's ok to play with yours or others with consent."

From past experience a lot of attendees are not ok with sexual activities and have no problem letting other patrons know their preference for no sexual activities.

Spa night at a bathhouse in PDX is explicitly not a sexual themed event.

Edited yesterday at 09:19 PM by NWUSHorny

[hntnhole]

Well.   Thanks for that explanation.  

Apparently, at least there is some measure of allowance in certain joints, at certain times, for guys to actually fuck.  I can understand the position of management of these places;  business is business, and they need to provide space for whatever their customers need (within the usuals, of course).  

I just hope that whatever's in the water out there doesn't migrate to the water here ....... 

[NWUSHorny]

45 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

Apparently, at least there is some measure of allowance in certain joints, at certain times, for guys to actually fuck.  I can understand the position of management of these places;  business is business, and they need to provide space for whatever their customers need (within the usuals, of course).  

The bathhouse staff have never brought it up as an issue with me, but I have little doubt they had complaints about me at times. Yes I do talk to the guys on the bathhouse staff, sometimes even when we aren't fucking 😜 

I have mostly made a point to stay away on those nights. I just wish they would have the same courtesy for more explicitly themed events.

In yet another irony the Eagle PDX appears to be hosting a monthly night for Omen members to come hang out naked. I'm told having sex in Portland gay bars is legal at the discretion of the establishment, and the Eagle does allow it, the problem is no one dares to take advantage of it even when they aren't hosting one of these events.

I'm headed out for 9 days in Palm Springs tomorrow morning, and will hopefully be in a better frame of mind by tomorrow night.

[bbttmm77]

To me, it's very simple: you fuck me in the ass with your dick, no condom, and cum inside. Real dick, real sperm. I like to make out, oral, rimming too, but I'll likely not meet a guy who will not eventually fuck me.

If people want something else, good for them. But it's not for me.

[KinshipLab]

Last time I was in Portland I got 5 loads in my ass at the sauna and flew them in me to the East Coast

[Willing]

On 2/15/2026 at 5:08 PM, NWUSHorny said:

I was perusing Sniffies this morning, hoping to find someone actually into fucking, and came across the term "outercourse" on 3 different profiles, so I had to Google it. It is very fitting for what the majority of gay guys hooking up here in Portland seem to be looking for.

Here is the easiest to understand explanation that I could find [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.them.us/story/your-complete-and-queer-guide-to-outercourse. Here are my highlights or lowlights if you actually enjoy penetrative sex with a penis:

"As a catch-all term, 'outercourse' describes the many sex acts and erotic activities that lie outside of internal (often called penetrative) sex. There are so many reasons queer and trans folks are drawn to outercourse"

"Outercourse is often confused with foreplay — and for some people it is — but it can also be its own thing. Whereas foreplay is more like an appetizer, outercourse is about the holistic experience of sex, more of a potluck of pleasure than any single entrée."

“ 'One of the main reasons people might enjoy, prefer, or prioritize outercourse in their sex lives is because it de-centers penetration as the pinnacle of sex,' adds Peak. Traditional heteronormative sex — or intercourse if we want to get specific — is often defined by the presence of cis men and centers their pleasure. Outercourse, on the other hand, upends this narrow, more hegemonic understanding of sex and what 'counts.' It allows people of all genders and bodies to imagine, speak back, and co-create the kind of connection they crave — regardless of the specific sex acts involved."

"But what exactly qualifies as sexual activity, or being abstinent more generally, depends on the person. For some, anything “beyond” kissing is off the table, while others consider everything except internal sex to be chaste. With such varied definitions, it’s possible that one person’s sex is another person’s abstinence. So while there can be overlap between the physical acts of outercourse and some types of abstinence, the main difference is intention."

"Whereas abstinence is about limiting or distancing oneself from sex or gratification, Stewart says outercourse is inherently about receiving and giving pleasure. Make sure to have a conversation with any potential partner about how you define sex, outercourse, and abstinence."

And finally: "To get you started, there are the usual suspects: heavy petting (or touching someone, often their genitals, indirectly through their clothing), oral sex, mutual masturbation, and hand jobs. Fingering may also come into play here, which means using your fingers and hands to arouse yourself or your partner. Typically, fingering refers to touching a vulva, clitoris, or anus. Though fingering often includes internal vaginal or anal touch, it doesn’t have to. Grab some lube and use your fingers to touch your partner’s vulva with long, gentle movements to 'warm up,' before playing with their clit. Unless your partner is into it, you should avoid sharp, prodding motions. Instead use the pads of your fingers and focus on stroking motions." All of which are common in Portland bathhouse (it is not at all uncommon to encounter FTM individuals that have vaginas in gay bathhouses here).

I realize it is unfair to actual lesbians, but I have been calling a lot of these men "gay male functionally lesbian," for years.

I just jerk off 💧

[hntnhole]

21 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

I'm headed out for 9 days in Palm Springs tomorrow morning, and will hopefully be in a better frame of mind by tomorrow night.

Best wishes for a fan-fuckin-tastic time in PS.  I'll go out to the (very private) back yard and perform the Ancient Rtualized Breeding Dance to hopefully help bring you good fuckluck !!! 

That dance can be dangerous though - just don't slip in all the loads it might bring you 😇