IntoBBvisitor Posted 11 hours ago Report Posted 11 hours ago As a 40+ total bottom , I can t help but notice how the top/bottom dynamic shiffted in these last 15 years. Not complaining as I like this kind of rougher and more agressive sex but still I can t help but wonder why this happenned. Is it porn ? Is it society ? The tops get always rougher (facefucking, piss, slap, spit,...) on us and expect more and more submissiveness from us. It s so obvious in porn where the sluts need to constantly outperform themselves to keep under the spotlight and be appealing to the tops who want to make more money out of their degradation. The tops even seem to have such a better place and enjoy it more... You barely ever get to see a bottom cumming now... Ain t this an evidence that it s not about us anymore ? At my level, I see it too. Agressive encounters happen very often without being "consensual". As a sub bottom, I just carry on with any behaviour because I feel it s my duty and it s like I ve been reprogrammed no to care about my pleasure, that it isn t relevant anymore. Where does that mindset come from ? Am I the only one to notice and feel it ? Last night I got fucked by a 22 years old guy who litterally used me like a fucking meat bag. When we chatted he was just looking for a blow job. He ended up fucking me in any way he wanted, being mean and agressive, both physically and verbally. I enjoyed it but at some points, whe he was really going too hard on me and I asked for him to go easier or stop, he would only pull my hair and Ask me : "are you a slut or not ?" or "Don t you want me to come again and fuck you? Take it then !" Am I the only mature bottom to notice this shift in top/bottoms interactions? 1 1 Quote
Hungryforbbc Posted 11 hours ago Report Posted 11 hours ago No you’re not the only one! I love when they get more and more violent and rough as the session progresses and even more when it continues to get harder over multiple sessions Quote
IntoBBvisitor Posted 11 hours ago Author Report Posted 11 hours ago 10 minutes ago, Hungryforbbc said: No you’re not the only one! I love when they get more and more violent and rough as the session progresses and even more when it continues to get harder over multiple sessions I love that too but where does that come from ? It s like now they know it s about them and they can do whatever turns them on. 2 Quote
Hungryforbbc Posted 10 hours ago Report Posted 10 hours ago 28 minutes ago, IntoBBvisitor said: I love that too but where does that come from ? It s like now they know it s about them and they can do whatever turns them on. I think they sense the energy and should already know that it’s what we really want regardless of what we say 1 Quote
bbpoznow Posted 8 hours ago Report Posted 8 hours ago not all bottoms like it that rough, , If the top is large you could get internal damage. I prefer a aggressive top but careful so both of us enjoy the sex 1 Quote
Jeanscumpig Posted 7 hours ago Report Posted 7 hours ago I also love rough sex, but we have to be considerate and respectful of each other. I believe that if someone doesn't want something, you should comply so that person enjoys it too. Not everyone is the same; for some, roughness is never enough, while others might prefer less. So always be considerate. I'm a bottom, and if a top wants to go all out on my cunt, face, and body, that's fine, but as soon as I indicate I don't want something, they have to take that into account. It's that simple. Quote
tallslenderguy Posted 6 hours ago Report Posted 6 hours ago 5 hours ago, IntoBBvisitor said: As a 40+ total bottom , I can t help but notice how the top/bottom dynamic shiffted in these last 15 years. Not complaining as I like this kind of rougher and more agressive sex but still I can t help but wonder why this happenned. Is it porn ? Is it society ? The tops get always rougher (facefucking, piss, slap, spit,...) on us and expect more and more submissiveness from us. It s so obvious in porn where the sluts need to constantly outperform themselves to keep under the spotlight and be appealing to the tops who want to make more money out of their degradation. The tops even seem to have such a better place and enjoy it more... You barely ever get to see a bottom cumming now... Ain t this an evidence that it s not about us anymore ? At my level, I see it too. Agressive encounters happen very often without being "consensual". As a sub bottom, I just carry on with any behaviour because I feel it s my duty and it s like I ve been reprogrammed no to care about my pleasure, that it isn t relevant anymore. Where does that mindset come from ? Am I the only one to notice and feel it ? Last night I got fucked by a 22 years old guy who litterally used me like a fucking meat bag. When we chatted he was just looking for a blow job. He ended up fucking me in any way he wanted, being mean and agressive, both physically and verbally. I enjoyed it but at some points, whe he was really going too hard on me and I asked for him to go easier or stop, he would only pull my hair and Ask me : "are you a slut or not ?" or "Don t you want me to come again and fuck you? Take it then !" Am I the only mature bottom to notice this shift in top/bottoms interactions? Aggressive and assertive are not the same thing. i understand some like aggressive, force, bullying, being treated like meat, etc., etc.. But that is an individual choice, We're all individuals and there is no standard Top, bottom or versatile, those are just labels we use to identify, we only learn each others individual interpretations of those labels through communication and experiencing each other. i have a gym sculpted, solid muscled FB Who's been breeding me 3-4x a week for six years. He's big and strong and pounds me hard when He fucks, but he is not aggressive, He's assertive. He's sensitive and affectionate in an assertive way. He has told me that He loves to "bitch" me. The way He touches and holds me while He is fucking me is very controlling, but not in an aggressive way. He is not mean or forceful, not a bully. i identify as bottom with a fair amount of sub. There are a lot of tops/doms who would disagree, and there are tops/doms who have loved and wanted me, and would reject the guy who just wants to be meat or trash. Again, we're all different. To me, the 22 year old you describe is an immature, selfish, clueless kid. Personally, i would not give him the time of day. Bottoming for me is not solely about the physical act, it's about connecting with another guy who wants to penetrate, fuck and breed me as much as i want Him to penetrate, fuck and breed me. It's the exercise of mutual need/want. my perception of a top/dom who has to force or bully is they are weak and insecure, trying to prove something to their self. This is only my take, i'm not turning it into a universal standard. This is why i won't have sex with this kind of guy, we are not compatible and i will not submit to him because sex with him would not be connection with him, and that is a big part of sex for me. Quote
BlindRawFucker1 Posted 1 hour ago Report Posted 1 hour ago A bottom does “not owe” a top anything. A top does “not owe” a bottom anything. It pisses me off, and saddens me when a bottom believes that is his duty in life to be treated like trash. As I have said in other topics, no one will abuse me. If he continues doing something I don’t like, after I’ve asked him to stop or take it easy, there will be problems. I might still get hurt, but he will always remember what he did to me. Unfortunately, this society is getting increasingly more mean. There is a belief that if I want something, I deserve it, no matter what the consequences are for others. People have got to start saying, “enough is enough.” Quote
Olderkinkybiguy Posted 47 minutes ago Report Posted 47 minutes ago As a predominantly Top, I can only speak for myself . I tend to play off the bottoms vibe. Not knowing your discussion with the 22yo before meeting, it’s hard to draw any conclusions to your situation. If I had to speculate a hypothesis, I’d say things have definitely shifted to the more extreme side over the years for a few possible reasons. the ready access of porn might be to blame, or at least the prevalence of online access too hookup sites. Back when I was in my 20’s, I met and hooked up with guys the old fashioned way. Typically a drunk encounter in a gay bar. The only sexual ideas were from real practical experiences. As I hot older, and had more encounters, my understanding of sexual encounters expanded, as did my comfort level. It seems a lot of online guys lack practical experience and skills. another factor might be life in general. I don’t believe too many of us have escaped the growing tensions and restrictions of every day life. I find more people carry a great deal of frustration around. Sex can be a great release if done correctly, but not all bottoms are created equal. Some like being used and fucked without mercy, others not so much. my guess is your 22yo lacked practice experiences. And possibly the bottoms he was fucking didn’t offer constructive criticism or advice. If you liked how he treated you, than that is fine. If you felt he should have done things differently, than you should have offered some constructive guidance. It’s be my experience that young people in general lack a lot of the same qualities my generation were taught. It’s not just sexuality, but in general. I was lucky to have a lot of real life sexual encounters early on, AOL was in its early stages. I even had a few older mentors to help mold me into the Top I am today. Although I do enjoy the youthful energy and sex drive younger guys typically possess, it’s often not worth the frustration of emotional immaturity that often accompanies them. I have been fortunate to know a few younger people who were not typical, but they are getting harder to find. I suppose the system is winning! 😭 Quote
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