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2025 July - Getting Home from Biz trips

I had been on the road for a couple of weeks.  It was really busy on the trip and I didn't get a chance to play with any hot men in Montreal OR Ottawa.  I got home late Thursday and decided to take Friday off.  Screw it.  I was just getting out of a nice hot shower where I had included a good thorough ass enema.  I wanted some serious ass play Friday to make up for lost time.  I figured I would try online and a couple of regulars to see if anyone wanted to get together for some rimming, fin

The Power Of Being Nothing But A Hole

We talk a lot about degradation. About being used. Dehumanised. Treated like an object. And it sounds brutal, filthy, even disturbing from the outside.But sometimes, being “just a hole” isn’t about being nothing. It’s about finally being enough — exactly as you are. Because in a world where we’re constantly expected to be more — more capable, more composed, more wanted, more worthy — there’s something intoxicating about being reduced to one thing:Use. No pressure to perform. No need to i

TampaCajun23

TampaCajun23 in Bio

Wednesday 23rd July, 2025

Hello beautiful bastard,   Today, I was so sure I was going to drop my piano lessons. I could feel my body burning out from juggling too many things at once. I’d already found a new piano teacher—his name is Max—and I’d paid for the lesson in advance, so I couldn’t cancel. I figured I’d just go and see how it went. You never know, right? If he was really good, maybe I’d stick with it.   And you know what? He was really good.   What I liked about him was how professi

Philip

Philip in Everything

Tuesday 22nd July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I had my third singing lesson today, and it went really well. I still think Elissa, my vocal coach, is excellent at explaining concepts and taking things nice and slow to build my confidence—especially with pitch. She knows exactly where I’m going wrong and is able to correct things quickly before they spiral, which I really appreciate.   She’s been hinting that maybe doing both singing and piano at the same time might be a bit much—and honestly, I’ve been

Philip

Philip in Everything

Monday 21th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Two things I want to talk about tonight: dating and piano.   I’ve gone back into the red sea of dating. There’s a question I used to ask myself whenever I exited a relationship: “How do you know when you’re ready to date again?” It’s an interesting one because the answer is different for everyone. You kinda feel it in your bones. Back then, I used to think I was ready when I felt excited to meet new people again. And maybe that was true at the time. But I’v

Philip

Philip in Everything

Sunday 20th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Just waiting for dinner to cook, so I’m sending through a quick message. Suf came over today for lunch, and it was really nice. I’m glad we’ve been sending voice memos to each other over the past few days because his voice—and now his presence—felt familiar and comforting.   After lunch, we cuddled in bed. He’s a really good cuddler, much better than most guys I’ve met. He squeezes me tight, and I could feel a lot of warmth radiating between us—and I don’t

Philip

Philip in Everything

Saturday 19th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Just a quick message tonight, as it’s getting quite late and I’m pretty tired. Johnny and I spent the entire day playing Donkey Kong Bonanza on the Switch 2—about 12 hours in total. We originally planned to just follow the critical path (the main storyline), but it was so tempting to go off track and explore the side missions instead of doing what we were supposed to be doing.   When we realised we were only halfway through the game by the end of the sessio

Philip

Philip in Everything

Friday 18th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   A lot happened today, and it’s not that I don’t want to tell you all about it. It’s just that sometimes, I want the moment to settle into my bones for a little while—to let the experience wash over me, to ponder it quietly before sharing it, even with you. One day, I’ll tell you everything. And maybe by then, it’ll be better—because I’ll have processed it more fully and gained a clearer perspective.   Remember Johnny? One of our friends who’s in an open rel

Philip

Philip in Everything

Thursday 17th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I want to spend a bit of time today talking about Suf—the guy I’m currently chatting with on Hinge. He’s the one I mentioned where we’ve almost exclusively been sending voice memos instead of texting like normal people. From the start, he made it clear that he’s looking for companionship and nowhere near a partnership right now, which I respect.   Right off the bat, we’ve been exchanging voice messages in the morning, throughout the day, and even right befo

Philip

Philip in Everything

Wednesday 16th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Just a quick message tonight since not too much happened today. I picked up the piano stool from the post office, so now I can play Mary Had a Little Lamb like a true professional.   Up & Go was also on sale at Woolies, so like the unhinged bastards we are, I ended up buying 800 cartons—which should last us a solid three months until the next sale. It took two hours to drive, carry, and stock the whole thing into the house, which means I didn’t get much

Philip

Philip in Everything

Tuesday 15th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I had another singing lesson today. In fact, I don’t think we should even call them singing lessons anymore; we should call them therapy sessions with singing as a bonus. I told Elissa, the vocal coach, about the updates—how I’ve taken up both singing and piano lessons—and she did what she does best: deep-dived into how I was feeling about it all. She could sense that I was overwhelmed, trying to juggle everything at once on top of a full-time job.   She re

Philip

Philip in Everything

Monday 14th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I’ll make you a deal: we won’t be talking about Phil today.   I’ve been chatting with this guy on Hinge. His name is Suf, and the really cool thing we’ve started doing is sending voice memos. He’s pretty good at texting too, but I wanted to use voice more—to express my thoughts in a raw and intimate way—and he was on board with it from the beginning. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m learning piano and singing, which makes me more focused on sound these days

Philip

Philip in Everything

Sunday 13th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I’m feeling a bit sad today. You know, sometimes I wonder how much about the future I should send to you—if you’ll become constantly anxious, waiting for my daily messages, not knowing what the future holds. I ask myself whether I should send you the bad news or let you experience things on your own. I mean, if I tell you everything that’s going to happen, is there any joy left in the unknown?   But then I think about when we read a book and a movie adaptat

Philip

Philip in Everything

Saturday 12th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   The first part of today was a bit hectic for me. It was basically covering basic life necessities like buying medications, underwear, socks, and winter clothes that I’ve neglected for a while now. It makes me feel like an adult when I get all this basic stuff covered lol. I also bought the present for Phil too, which is coming up in less than three weeks—some nice bowls and plates. I think he’s going to love them!   Remember the rule for buying gifts for ad

Philip

Philip in Everything

Friday 11th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   It is Friday night and I am home all alone, and you know what? It doesn’t feel bad or lonely at all. It feels nice. I just got off a two-hour phone call with Johnny and caught him up on all the wild things that are happening in my life, and afterwards, I felt a sense of closeness with him and a dopamine rush as well. That feeling of being mattered. That I exist.   After watching recent movies like Dear Evan Hansen and Thunderbolts, where the theme is loneli

Philip

Philip in Everything

Thursday 10th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I’m not going to lie to you, buddy—my days are getting packed and it’s still pretty hard to balance everything. Let’s break it down. To work 8 hours a day and try to get that elusive 8 hours of sleep, I pretty much only have 5 hours of free time left, accounting for things like commute, traffic, eating, showering, etc. These 5 hours are spread like this:   1. Gym 2. Journaling 3. Piano practice 4. Singing practice 5. Walking  

Philip

Philip in Everything

Wednesday 9th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Alright, so the biggest news of today was me going out and buying the piano, even after having to stay back overtime because one of the machines at work broke down. That’s dedication, buddy! The whole trip lasted three hours. I went into the shop and told the girl at the counter that I was looking for a digital piano and didn’t know anything about it, and she basically went through a number of pianos including her recommendations. She mentioned that I should choose i

Tuesday 8th July, 2025

Hello beautiful bastard,   Today was the first lesson for my piano, and I want to tell you all about it. The piano teacher is only a ten-minute drive from our workplace and he is Vietnamese too! Except, I didn’t know until the very end when I asked for his name—hehe. We learned through the very basics, going through a children’s book (which I purchased at the end). I still get a lot of nervous energy around him, and I’m not sure if that’s who he is naturally, or if he’s just a nervous

Monday 7th July, 2025

Hello beautiful bastard,   A couple of updates for today. I’m making it a rule now to first and foremost share any news and updates with you by sending you a quick text throughout the day, even for the small, mundane things. Then, I will share it with the world. Sometimes, I catch myself sending things to people first and waiting for them to reply, and I feel a bit sad when they don’t. And I think to myself, why did I do that? I could just share it with myself first (you), savour the n

Sunday 6th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Today, first thing in the morning, I drove all the way to Ikea again to grab the curtains and the rug. I had a bit of trouble finding the curtains, actually, because it said there were over a hundred in stock, but I couldn’t find any in the location. Even the staff couldn’t find them. I was very disappointed after making it all this way again, and I stood there contemplating whether I should compromise and get something of inferior quality—when I saw the curtains I w

Saturday 5th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I went to Ikea today with Agia and it was okay. There was a lot of traffic in the late afternoon; usually, I would go a lot earlier so that I could come home earlier, but Agia had to do his shopping and weekly errands, so we had to push it a bit later. I was pretty tired by the time I got there. We hugged and I gave my signature kiss on the cheek (you’ll be doing this a lot whenever you meet new guys on a date, by the way), and we walked into the showroom. I felt a m

Friday 4th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Tonight is Friday night and I actually have no social plans, which is okay. Do you know what I did instead after my nap? I went straight to pitch training with the piano keyboard on my iPad, and I’m actually getting quite good at it. I did it for about three hours, and it was one of those things where I got into the flow and couldn’t stop, which I think is a very good sign that I’m enjoying it a lot! I’m able to do 16 notes now, which is two octaves, and I think that
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