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On Silence

To the empty spaces that don’t need filling.   I’ve been learning to sit with silence for a while now. It’s those moments where everything is calm and still.   In the past, whenever there was silence between me and someone else, I would always find it a little bit awkward, as though that silence needed to be filled with something— mainly with a question, or a conversation. I wasn’t comfortable sitting in the silence, because it meant that somethi

On Opportunities

To the winters that are bitter cold.   James and I decided to end things, three weeks into dating.   He sent me a text, asked if I could come over for a chat. It sounded serious, and I had a feeling something like this was coming. So I showed up. And sure enough—he said that even though he enjoyed dating me these last three weeks, he didn’t feel any romantic attraction, and he thinks we should stop seeing each other.   To be h

IML: Piss Party--A Very Wet Conclusion

Chicago—May, 2024   (This picks right up where we left off in the last post)   I look down at Tall Guy with Tats.  His eyes are rolled back in total bliss.  I bend down, still inside his ass, and lick up some of the piss eddying in the hollow between his pecs.  I slurp happily, before my cock tells me to keep fucking.  I stand up and build to sling rocking fuck-speed.  The piss rolls off his body and puddles under us.  I fuck on and on, only stopping as I don’t want to shoot

Aspiring breeding slut 4 black men

Any horny dominant black men in NYC/NJ area or LA area looking for a cute submissive white slut to impregnate?! 🙈🤰 I’m very submissive and slutty and hoping to take care of horny black men’s warm seed deep inside my bare pussy! All top black men welcome to cum inside me! No condoms, no questions, just empty inside me. 🙈 Aspiring to become a real breeding slut for black men! If interested and serious dm me here!

IML Piss Party One -- Getting Wet

Chicago—May, 2024 I had a lazy Saturday morning at Seth’s.  I showered, made tea and wrote a few notes for the last post.  I checked in with Keshawn about time and place for our Sunday meet. I napped a little, stroking Seth’s cat, curled up next to me… I also got a text that pissed me off.  My July work gig wrote saying that an assistant had not mentioned to me a mandatory meeting that happened long before I started—and it was this Sunday.   At noon.  I would have to go home right afte

On Normacy

To the lives we live together.    James and I have been dating for three weeks now, and things have been going quite smoothly.   To me, I think that we passed the honeymoon phase a while ago. It feels like we’re settling into the normalcy phase now— where we’re starting to understand each other’s daily rhythm. It’s no longer about being performative, but just about being in each other’s presence. Being able to be ourselves and not alway

On Grace part 2

To shifting the air and the Universe.   I learned something in oriental massage today.   It’s a lot different from what we’ve been taught in the past, which was more aligned with Western medicine. With oriental massage, it leans more towards Eastern traditions—where they teach you to connect with the spirit, the qi, and the flow of energy—rather than just focusing on the tightness or knots in the muscles.   And I absolutely love it.   One of my goals for t

IML: A Glorious Threeway

Chicago—May, 2024   I don’t quite know why I did not plan to do more at IML.  Some of it was remembering the sheer exhaustion of staying at the host hotel.  You feel, or at least I do, you have to keep taking advantage of the never-ending sex on offer.  Last year I got around that by staying at a smaller motel which has a huge gay clientele.  I think I expected to do that again—but I had two work gigs back-to-back that frankly made me lose track of time.  It was suddenly the first of M

Passing Osvaldo Around (Conclusion)

Grand Rapids—May, 2024 (This continues right on from Part One.)   “Can we go to my room?” I know he wants to film—and we can only do it there.  I am happy to get it out of the way.  We troop downstairs.  He’s in a single room this time.  I lay on the narrow bed.  Osvaldo is between my legs and he begins to suck, I-Phone held aloft.  He keeps looking at the camera, enraptured with seeing his face stuffed with cock. Now he’s sitting on it.  Riding.  The phone, propped on a

Passing Osvaldo Around (Part One)

Grand Rapids—May, 2024   Osvaldo, the young Latin man, who loves to whip out his phone and snap pictures or record video as I fuck him, wanted another session.  We agreed on a Friday night in the middle of the month for a meet at the bathhouse to the north of me.  As always, I got there first.  (I would rather have him run late than rush his clean out!)  Another clerk checked me in (not the one who had joined me at the sling the last time I was there.)  At my locker, I stripped down to

Tops who get me off when they bottom

Drew Sebastian Alex Tikas Jackson Hood "Tops" refers more to how they tend to be cast in scenes. Hey, if you're good at what you do... 🤓 I absolutely love watching Drew get fucked. Jake Marshall fucking Alex Tikas in a sling... [chef's kiss]. And Hood? I've gotten off a few times to the scene where he's fucked into the mattress by Jack Mackenroth. In another fans-channel scene, he rides Rafael Alencar's pole until he cums. Unfortunately, it's a single-camera scene and there'

The Accident

Near Home—May, 2024   After my great breeding of the young daddy on Saturday, I was quite content.  Coming up, I had a bathhouse visit to play with Osvaldo, the Latin young man who loves to film me using him.  Of course, I ended up wanting more before that trip was to happen.  I went to my usual bookstore. But something was up.  There were only two cars in the lot.  And a series of barricades along the front of the building.  I went in.  The manager greeted me.  Before I could ask

On Rebellion

To the inner child that says no.    Recently, a guy that I’ve been dating—James—mentioned a certain characteristic of mine. One that I’ve noticed for a long time, but never really found the words for. An inner rebellious nature. One that often makes me do the opposite of what someone tells me to do.   I’ve noticed this trigger in particular phrases— “You should…” “You must…” If I hear those words, you can bet that the instant you turn your back, I’m d

"You Want an Even Bigger One?"

Jackson—May, 2024 So, as that last post showed, I certainly enjoyed my time at my usual bookstore on Friday, but I still had a load churning in my balls.  I didn’t want to waste it.  I’d had such fun on the Saturday afternoon at the video place (now remodeled into more of a play area and written up as A Busy Bookstore), that I went back there the next day.  It was the right choice.   Again, the parking lot is packed.  I park way off to the side and go in.  I need to piss—my travel

The Reward: A Mammoth Load

Near Home—May, 2024 So, after the Monday bust at the bookstore that I detailed in the last post, I knew that at least I had good sex coming.  Kieran, the married bear who is such a good cocksucker was scheduled for Wednesday.  But he cancelled, citing that he had to help his son.  Well, ok, there was also the newbie, who needed his hole opened and was so horny about piss, due in on Thursday.  But suddenly his work got in the way of that.  Cancelled—and after some texting saying he wanted to

Cell Phones and Sex Toys

Near Home—May, 2024 I was still horned after my Friday afternoon of fun, detailed in the last post.  But I had a work gig that kept me from playing on Saturday and Sunday.  But it didn’t prevent me from setting up some dates.  I arranged a time on Wednesday with the married bear who is such a good cocksucker.  He was excited to come back to the playroom.  I also made a date with a brand-new guy, a younger man.  He was looking to me to work on opening his very tight hole and to be introduced

"Swallow, Don't Spit"

Near Home—May, 2024 It was a Friday afternoon.  The first Friday of May.  I went to the bookstore that is just a few miles from me.  It started very slowly…but, oh, I am so glad I didn’t leave…   I am sitting in the cocksucker’s seat—but it’s my cock getting sucked.  Well, my cock head.  A man, a good deal older than myself, asked very politely if he could suck my dick.  I’ve let him.  He is bending over to do it, as I’m guessing his knees are shot.  His mouth, on first contact, w

Load Count Saturday, April 26, 2025

Load count Saturday, April 26, 2025 I invited my regular fwb who's this sexy buff Caucasian guy. He fucked me and came deep in me and we started chatting and then I start sucking his flaccid dick and he fuck me again and came deep in me. I got a text from my 9 inch BBC friend who promised me two loads so I invited him over and he started fucking me. It didn't take long for him to cum deep in my guts but he didn't pull out. He continued fucking me slowly until his dick became rock hard and

On Coming Out Part 2

To my mother,   I came out to my mom today. It’s been a long time in the making now.   Maybe a decade? Perhaps a little longer than that.   I know that a lot of my friends have come out to their parents. It’s brave, it’s admirable, it’s courageous— and I always pictured myself one day doing the same.   But I never had the courage to do so.   I think part of it is the Asian culture, where my parent

A Busy Bookstore

Jackson—April, 2024 It was Saturday.  The end of the month.  I was horned.  But I wanted to go somewhere different.  I finally decided on the bookstore that has re-modeled their video lounge into a play area with gloryholes and a medical table for fucking.  I packed a lunch and took off. I arrived just before noon—and the place was packed.  I lucked into of the last parking spots.  I went inside.  The price had gone up.  Making small talk with the male cashier, I mentioned how surprise

Chance Meetings

Near Home—April, 2024 A while back I wrote up a post that concluded with my actually being able to get off in a talented cocksucker’s mouth.  I bumped into him again in April.  I went back to the bookstore and there was the same young man, coming through the door, moments after I sat down in the cocksucker’s seat…   His eyes light up as he sees my hard cock.  Only then do his eyes come up to my face.  I smile.  He grins and unzips.  He pulls out his hefty ebony seven incher.  I wo
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