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To the ache of connections. Today is the launch day of Switch 2. I sit in my room, playing Welcome Tour, a game that introduces the hardware in the form of minigames. It’s fun as hell, and I suddenly want to share this experience with someone. To tell them how cool this new piece of technology is. To geek out with me. I turn around, look at my empty room, and there’s no one here except me and the sound of my Switch. I feel a pang of sadness. I wish someone was here, right now, to experience this with me. I don’t feel like playing anymore, so I turn it off, go to sleep, if only so I don’t have to feel this uncomfortableness any longer. The next day, I’m in my room and there’s this movie I’ve been wanting to watch for a while now—Final Destination: Bloodlines. I could watch it on my own, sure, but I think to myself that it’s a lot better to watch it with someone. I usually watch movies now on my iPad, cuddled up with someone, talking about the cinematography, the script, the story, the ending. I think to myself that I’ll wait. I’ll wait until I find someone to watch it with me, because the experience is better that way. But it’s been weeks now, and that hasn’t happened. So I decide to watch it anyway. The movie is good, but I can’t help thinking it could’ve been better with company. I noticed that in the past couple of weeks, my life has been pretty busy. The transition in work. The lead-up to finishing my massage course. Dating. I haven’t had time to slow down—not really. And now that things are easing up, with the course finishing, not seeing anyone, and work being stable, everything is catching up to me again. And I’m left here, confronting my feelings. Loneliness is a feeling I’ve made peace with. I’ve sat with it. I’ve walked with it. I’ve learned to hold it gently. And I’m not sure if this is the feeling I’m feeling now. I don’t feel abandoned by the world. I don’t feel abandoned by the people around me. There are many sources of love in my life—work, friends, family, myself—so what is this feeling that keeps knocking at the door? I realised it has been longing all along. Longing is when I crave the space to share my experience with others. Because it’s ten times better than doing it by myself. Because it means something when it’s shared. And I wonder to myself—does longing mean I’m ready to date again? I think I’m close. But not quite there yet. Because deep down, I know I’m still relying on someone else to make the moment better, to make the story brighter, to make my life fuller. When really, the person who can do all that is me. And I’m still learning. Still learning to do that. Still learning to be the one who shows up. I’m getting a little better at it each day. These days, I’m learning to do more on my own. I’m learning not to wait for someone else before I give myself permission. Because the truth is, there might not be anyone coming. And if I keep waiting, I might miss out. I might miss out on living a full life. On living this one beautiful, absurd, aching life that I already have. I’m beginning to see that a partner in my life is a bonus. A beautiful addition. Not the foundation. Not the reason. Just someone to walk beside me through an already full and fulfilling life. I think when I’m finally comfortable being alone with myself, truly alone, I’ll be ready to share the wonder of living with someone else. So that we can experience it together. Laugh together. Hold space for each other. But even then, I’ll know—if it ends up just being me, I’ll still be alright. I’ll still be whole.

Great question. One of the things I've done that springs immediately to mind is inhaling poppers and watching satanic hypno/pmv videos. I'm pretty certain they've had an effect on me after all these years!

well being a - willing - cumpdump is a nice talent

UMM i would have wanted to get fucked in the hallway outside of my room so people could see I love to do it in PUBLIC

just got back from Sitges, not the bear pride but the normal pride so place was packed with international guys and of all shapes and sizes. As a 50 year old bear I did think it might be a bit on the young side but was very suprised how friendly it was and how much fun there was to be had I arrived on Thusday afternoon so didnt have a huge amount of time to be slutty that day, but Friday I took five loads Saturaday five loads and Sunday six loads all in the hotel To be honest I cant list each guy and load here as it is a bit of a blur however there were two or three really memorable guys who made the trip worth while: Hot young American guy on the same floor of my hotel in room down the hall had just arrrived and when I said he I was naked in my room he said proove it so I said come and check he said he wasnt up to fuck but when he saw my ass pushed in raw and fucked me till he bred me then I licked him clean he had literally just checked in so need to nap and I told him he would sleep better after blowing that huge load a very hot ottery boy furry and handsome and hung Brazillian top two floors up in same hotel married to his husband but snuck away to breed me twice one of the most beautuful creatures I have ever seen six foot four handsome bearded hung and muscled with the most beautiful skin and smile a truly passionate top and a fantastic fuck I will find this guy again A hot Spanish local guy who only liked sloppy seocnds and door on latch scenes I was happy to oblige and he went third in my ass and pounded his load into the mix A cute and hung cubby guy from Buenos Aries he had been fucked himself earlier but hadnt cum so we snogged cuddled and chatted until he pushed in and really went for it in my ass after he bred me he insisted that I shot my load so pushed all the loads into my ass with his fingers until I blew my load everywhere it was the last fuck of the trip and my sixth load of the day on Sunday so I just let rip I would ceratinly go back for sure When I got back home yesterday I was still in the zone from Sitges so jumped on sniffies and scruff and took three loads one regular guy one anon ass up and a freind who dropped by

I’m in downtown. Love to be bred by you.

my guess is plenty of us have spent time feeling guilty, ashamed, or just spent, maybe even after sex. on the other hand, would anyone be willing to share things they've been able to do to INCREASE their horniness, ability to fulfill fantasies, and more? i would love to learn... thanks.

When agree to be fucked by multiple guys i prefer to feel every cock and load, but I would - in this situation - accept if I was fucked while unconscious

Tomorrow … LIGHTS OUT GLOW PARTY - THURSDAY, JUNE 12TH @ 8PM (THIS IS A NO CELL PHONE EVENT) Next Week … BEAR NIGHT - THURSDAY, JUNE 19TH @ 8PM