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My problem is that I've heard the arguments that holding hands, cuddling up with, making out, doing role play, and numerous other things that do not involve a dick let alone penetration all constitute gay sex. I'm presuming that the guys making those arguments in a bathhouse would say that holding hands is sex and a way to make love.

True, and there is something akin to "making love" when that particular thing, characteristic, whatever, that just turns your crank is present in the other guy. For example, I just so happen to adore a hairy hole, for a number of reasons, and while I don't demean 'making love" at all, it's possible to get really close to "making love" when a physical characteristic that really pushes your buttons is present.

Or .... in case they don't, at least he wouldn't be invited to subsequent events in the first place. 😉

Within the Bd/Sm community*, there are some acts that simply are not acted out. *by that definition, I mean members of that community that are known to each other, and these men derive their identity, their sense of self, their dedication to their craft, and consider themselves members of a very special sub-group within the wider gay community. There are usually organizations in the major metro areas that exist to provide a communal space for men drawn to the Bd/Sm community, and the very last thing on earth these men would want is to have their reputation, their integrity, their dedication to Dominance or submission, or any other facet of their lives brought into question. Frankly, any member of the Bd/Sm community that disrespects the greater community (in the context of a scene) by acting in some way that disrespects the greater community, would be kicked out of that organization at the earliest opportunity. There are protocols that every member of any Bd/Sm organization/club respect, and earning a reputation of dishonesty in a sexual situation would be unthinkable to a man dedicated to this life. This is why these men form organizations/clubs in the first place; to support and defend each other whenever necessary. It's like a family bound by respect for each other as much as anything else. Obviously, the communicative "thread" is a special kind of sexual ritual, but the situation you allude to is something I've never heard of. That said, there are always outliers who don't respect themselves, let alone anyone else. These types seldom make it into a Bd/Sm club or organization in the first place, since new members have to be "sponsored" by an existing member before being allowed to join. In the scene you envision above, that Dom/Sir you allude to wouldn't have made it into any kind of Bd/Sm club. Becoming a member of any of the well-known Bd/Sm clubs is not an easy thing; referenced, all of that are needed. CHC* was the predominant one in Chicago - maybe still is, for all I know. NO member of CHC would want to suffer the humiliation of breaking his word - damaging his honor - anything like that. Thus, a man who feels "called" to Dominance or submission should always investigate the resources in his community. Guys that don't live in major metro areas should attend nationally-known events - International Mister Leather Contest, for instance - or any other similar event - to find resources in his own area. Clearly, a guy who's just discovering how this life might apply to him needs to find out about organizations similar, and contact that organization. It's a fairly close-knit community, and guys know and understand that protecting the potential initiates is paramount. The critter you're describing simply doesn't exist in the Bd/Sm community, and it's that community the newbie should be in contact with. A guy like the one you describe would not be accepted into any of the organizations. Most are located in major metro areas, of course, since men living this life aren't on every street corner. Gay newspapers (in major metro areas) would have listings including the organizations, clubs I'm referring to, and would sincerely welcome questions from guys interested in learning more, and would have a network of responsible guys willing to meet/interact with a new guy drawn to this special life. *Chicago Hellfire Club, down on Leavitt St, near north side. Any major metro area will have a similar organization. Thanks for the comment, rawinme; I hope I've made it a bit more clear.

I can't wait to return being the neighborhood cumdump 🐷

I’ve crossed into intimacy with people at bathhouses in moments of lust, but I wouldn’t say I was making love. Every encounter is different, and everyone has their own threshold for what feels too intimate in a hookup. For some men, kissing is off the table; for others, it’s essential. While both are physical acts, it’s simplistic to treat “making love” as purely innocent intimacy. Sex is something you do with someone; making love is something you share with someone. My bathhouse motto tho: "I'm into havin' sex, I ain't into makin' love" - 50 Cent - In da Club

Looking for penpals to discuss all things gay sexually especially piss. Also maybe hookup if in the Pittsburgh pa area

Mid 40’s poz off meds

Yes, down in Christchurch.

Executive theatre in Houston a few years back I don’t believe it is open anymore I stripped naked in the theater and had 4 guys breed me there was around 30 in the theater at the time

A feeder's hair is obviously their choice. But I almost always try to encourage them to think about trimming around the base of it. Not only does it make it look bigger and shows it off better, but it sure makes it better for the cocksucker not to have to deal with pubs stuck in his teeth. Before manscaping and trimming became a thing, I would often wake up in the morning and feel a pubic hair stuck before my teeth. It was kind of gross, kind of hot, but mostly just unnecessary.

I love hooking up with former feeders, usually spontaneously. I was in an AVS/Theatre a couple weeks ago and a hot guy was jacking off over in the corner of one of the theatre rooms. I walked over, dropped to my knees and sucked a huge load out of him. It felt so comfortable and with an obvious connection between us as feeder and cocksucker. Afterward, as he pulled up his pants and was getting ready to leave, he came over to me and told me that I had sucked him off before several times years ago and he was thrilled to see me again. We were both older, obviously, but I knew that his dick seemed familiar in all the best ways possible. I told him that we should set up a regular feeding and exchanged numbers on our cells.

My first feeder talked a lot about how the Christmas season, starting right after Thanksgiving and going through New Year's, always made him horny. I have to say, as a cocksucker, I get it. And I think that's not a rare reaction, either. It is all the stimulus of shopping, decorations, friends and family get-togethers, parties, or the religious overtones of the holiday, that ratchets up the sexual urges? I've never fully understood it, but I've seen it happen often over the years. Anyone else have experience with this phenomenon, or have a theory to share? I'm taking in a local AVS/Theater this Saturday, the week before Christmas, because it always seems to be busy with horny guys wanting to get off before the big week with family.

Welcome aboard!

My semen is fertile with something other than healthy spermatozoa

Hello

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HOT HOT.. love cumdumps and love being cumdump.. its so hot when Im being a cumdump whore and previous tops come by and breed me again or Ive had a few guys tell me that there friend bred me and heard I was a big whore and wanted to come play in my cummy hole hehe. it gets really sloshy n wet

I live near Union Station downtown so there are a fair amount of junkies and homeless around. I was walking my dog this morning, totally tweaked and filled with cum already, and this junkie asked me for money. I told him I didn't have any but if he gave me a load I'd give him a slam. He came back, fucked me on the floor. I felt his hole and it was loose as fuck and had some loads in it so clearly I wasn't the only one he'd fucked around with....

I feel like I've had this same discussion about what constitutes "sex", not just "making love" at gay bathhouses, ABS, and other cruising spots in Portland, Seattle and Vancouver hundreds of times over the years. It's not just a Gen Z thing, I was having it with people here since before they were sexually aware, and probably since before some of them were born. [think before following links] https://www.instagram.com/reel/DOzQemajznk/