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We talk a lot about degradation. About being used. Dehumanised. Treated like an object. And it sounds brutal, filthy, even disturbing from the outside.But sometimes, being “just a hole” isn’t about being nothing. It’s about finally being enough — exactly as you are. Because in a world where we’re constantly expected to be more — more capable, more composed, more wanted, more worthy — there’s something intoxicating about being reduced to one thing:Use. No pressure to perform. No need to impress. Just skin, heat, wetness — and the raw satisfaction of knowing you’re being used because it feels good for him. It’s not about hating yourself. It’s about being so safe in your submission that you can disappear into it.To be used not in spite of who you are — but because giving him that pleasure makes you feel whole.Because when your body becomes his release… when you’re filled, fucked, dripping, ruined —you’re not worthless. You’re wanted. Intensely. Selfishly. Completely. I want your hand around my throat, your cock buried deep, and your voice in my ear growling that I’m just a hole for you to fuck. Because when you do, I stop thinking. Stop performing. And start feeling everything — raw and real and filthy. If you’ve ever felt this too.. like being used is the only time you stop overthinking — I want to hear it.

Shortly after high school I took up residence in an apartment complex, I was Bi sexual But Had never been with a Black Guy before. Next door lived a Black Guy named Anthony He was in His mid twenties, He lived to party and always Had white women over to His place. It was obvious that He liked interracial sex. One night He had a blonde girl about twenty who came over in slut-wear, short shorts and tank top. That night they Had the most intense Fuck session with moaning and screaming. The headboard was banging up against the wall that separated the two apartments I could not sleep, I began wondering what it would feel like to be in her place, Getting Fucked by Black Dick. I reached down and began to stroke my white Dick. During high school there were a few Black Guys who proudly flaunt their Man Hood in the locker room. It was as if they were making a statement to white guys, The Black Guys would talk to each other and grope there Black Dicks. Anyway the next day after coming back from the gym , I noticed Anthony door was not completely shut. So I stopped at the door, I listened at the door But did not hear anything, So I stepped inside and saw Anthony laying on the couch no Shirt in His Boxer briefs, His Black body was lean and muscular it was glistening, "Hey are you alone ? I asked. "Yeah the Dumb Bitch just left. She couldn't even close the door right. She was a noisy Bitch' I could hear you thru the walls last night. "Yeah I bet you were probably getting off on it" He said, Looking at me slyly. I said I was, Had to Masturbate after to get rid of my hard on. I tore her Pussy up real good. I wanted to Fuck her in the Ass, I had her talked into it, And I put my Black Dick in her Ass and she screamed and said it was too big" He groped His Black Dick and started to rub His Black Dick thru the Boxer Shorts, So did you finally screw her in the Ass ? I asked. "Nah, she kept Screaming that it hurt too much, So I ended up Spanking her white Ass real good for teasing me with that Shit. Hey, All this talk is getting me Hard again, He got off the couch, His Black Dick was swinging in His Boxer Shorts. He walked over to the door and closed it and locked the door. And put the dead bolt on the door. He groped Him self, and looked at me. I started to get Nervous and knew that if I stayed I was in for trouble. I said I had better be going, Anthony said whats the rush, He was groping Him self, Anthony was moving close to me, I started backing up into the corner of the room. "Why don't you check out the action down here? He said With His hands on His hips, Displaying a Huge tent in His Boxer Briefs, He Rubbed His Black Dick and pulled His Boxer Shorts off. His Black Dick was Huge, As He walked over to me and said, I've done it with white guys before. He asked if I had done it with Black guys before ? I said No "never" He reached out and grabbed my head and planted a Kiss on my lips. He stuck His tongue in my mouth deep, I opened my mouth wide to gave Him total access to my mouth. He told me to take my clothes off, I hesitated, Strip, He said, I want to see what your body looks like, I removed my shirt and shorts. I was standing there in my Jock Strap, Covering my crotch with my hands, He told me to leave the Jock on. Turn around I want to see that Ass. I turned around and showed Him my Ass. Get on your knees, He said. I Nervously got on my knees, His Huge Black Dick was Uncut and thick, His Foreskin was completely covering His head, It looked like a nipple, He pulled His Foreskin back and showed me His head. You like that chocolate Dick ? I didn't respond, He slapped my face and He pulled the Foreskin back covering the head. And pulled my face closer to His Black Dick, He pulled the Foreskin back uncovering the head. Kiss it , Kiss the head, He said. I Kissed the head, That's good, Now lick the head. I started to lick the head, Than down to His Nuts, I swallowed His Huge Nuts, And than took as much of His Black Shaft down my throat, "Yeah suck it white boy, that's it. "Take it all." I fought the gag reflex and felt the head push way into my throat. This was what I had wanted for so long and it tasted good. After Fucking my mouth for a few minutes. He asked if I had ever taken a Black Cock up my Ass before ? No I said yes but nothing that Big. The thought of that Huge Black Cock plunging up my hole was very tempting But scary. He pushed it down my throat again, And said your a Black Cock Slut! It well Hurt at first, But the Hurt well feel good ! You know you been wanting this Black Dick for a while, I've seen you looking at me. You know you want me to pump your white Ass Don't you ? After breaking you in you'll be Begging me for my Black Dick' He rubbed my Ass hole, That a nice Ass boy. He stuck His finger in my Ass hole. Bend over Bitch, He pulled my Ass cheeks apart, And licked the Hole, And stood up. Your Ass belongs to me Now, Understand ? I nodded, And He instructed me to lie on my back with my legs in the air while He rubbed some lube into my Asshole, First with one finger that another. He positioned His Black Dick against my Ass hole and pushed.. I screamed against the sharp pain. Several more inches went in before I screamed out again. Anthony looked angry, He slapped my Ass Hard. Look white boy you know you wanted me to Fuck your white Ass for a long time. Don't fight it or I'll really tear that Ass up. He pulled off my Jock Strip and pushed it into my mouth. Assume the position boy! I obeyed and this time after the initial thrush He pushed all ten inches up my butt, My Ass was on fire but it felt good at the same time, His Black Dick was stretching my hole wide open. " Yeah boy give that Ass up for your Black Daddy!' Just relax, And let this Black Dick in, He started to ride my Ass good and twisted me this way and that way, Open that Ass up, Occasionally slapping my Ass. He came in my Ass at least three times, He was insatiable. After He was done Fucking me, He reached in His drawer and pulled out a pair of Silk Panties, And said Put these on, These are lady's panties I said, I know You took my Black Dick like a real Bitch. So I'm giving them to you. I slipped them on, There was a bulge where my dick was. He said nice, Your going to be my Bitch now. That day was a new beginning for me, I was a white sex slave for Black Cock! After giving up my Ass to Anthony, He decided that my Ass with just like Pussy, Anytime He was horny and needed a piece of white Ass, He would just come over. He would come over even when I Had company. And made it quite obvious that I was His submissive white boy, By coming over and being very Domineering and occasionally even slapping my Ass in front of other people, One day He took my keys when I wasn't looking and make a duplicate front door key. He said it was to make sure that I was accessible to Him at all times, I started to object, But in a demanding tone, He said I was His property, And there was nothing to talk about. And threw me on the bed, And pulled my pants down, And held me down, And roughly Fucked me, I felt His Black Dick getting bigger and I felt Him Cumming in my Ass, When He was done, He slapped my Ass, And went into the bath room to clean up, I pulled my pants up. How did this happen? It was bad enough that He made me service His Black Dick, But now He Had keys to my place, He could come and go at free well. How did I get my self into this jam. He started to leave His clothes over at my place, And expected me to wash His clothes all the time. When there were not clean He would go into a rage that is Boxer or shirts was not clean. He became more demanding, Anytime He needed money He would want me to spot Him some cash. There was a tall Black Guy that moved in across the hall from me, His name was Jay. He seemed friendly enough and would say Hello as He passed me in the hall way. Anthony became friends with Jay, After that Jay looked at me differently and acted differently, One day I was down at the Jacuzzi, When He saw me, He came over and asked how I was doing? He said He Had been at the gym working out, He Had pulled a muscle and He should get in the Jacuzzi and see if that would help with His sore muscle. Before I knew it He was taking off His shoes and shirt and than came His Sweatpants, He was supporting a nice size Black Dick, And got in the Jacuzzi, He said the Jacuzzi felt good, He asked me to rub His leg ? I said sure And started to rub His leg, He kept saying higher, My hand toughed His Black Dick and He said Yeah that's the spot. I moved my hand away, He gabbed my hand and placed it on His Black Dick, That's the spot, He said. I massage it for a moment, And said I have to go now. As I was getting out of the water, Jay noticed the Hard-on in my briefs. He was getting out of the water too, He Had a Big old Hard-on too sticking straight out too. As I bent down to pick up my towel, He reached out and pulled my briefs down exposing my Ass, He pulled me closer and pushed me down to my knees, He grabbed His Black Dick and said "Suck it " I said I couldn't, Why is it because I'm a Ex-con, ? No I said I'm involved with someone, And I left and went back to the apartment, Anthony came in and asked what I had been up too? Nothing I said I went down to the Jacuzzi for a while. Jay was in the Jacuzzi too, Anthony said did He try to pick you up ? I said No , Why are you lying to me Anthony said, "I'm not lying" Jay said you were down there and you sucked His Black Dick ! I have to Punish you for lying to me, Got to teach you a lesson.” He tried my hands to the bed posts, He pulled my pants down to my ankles, And ripped my t shirt off of me. He removed His Leather Belt, And swung the belt, Striking my torso and Ass repeatedly, I was screaming as the blows mount, It seems that Anthony's vigor increases each time the belt strap strikes my Ass, I started crying . He whips my Ass harder and harder with the belt, clenching His teeth and growling with effort. You’re hurting me, I was sobbing like a little boy, Please, you’re hurting me. He suddenly stopped, And He untied my hands, My back and Ass were red I had marks all over my Ass, Anthony said, I had to do it .. You need to learn ! He got some lotion and put it on my back, Than He rubbed some on my Ass, His Black Dick was Hard, He slipped the head into my Ass, I pushed my Ass back to let Him slid in my Ass, He Fucked me long and deep, He deposed His load in my Ass, And left. The next night we were coming home, When we passed Jay in the hall way Jay was dressed in Leather outfit, I had to take a second look at Him, Anthony saw the way I looked at Jay. When we got inside my apartment. Anthony asked if I liked Jay's Leather outfit, I said Yes" It Sexy' Anthony told me to put on a Jock Strap So I went to my dresser and pulled a Jock out and put it on. He placed a video camera on a tripod and Had it aiming on the bed. When I came out of the bed room, I saw the video camera, And asked what that was for? It's for training, So you can watch the video and improve ! I started to worship His beautiful Black Cock as usual by Deep throating His tool and licking His Balls and Asshole as well. That night He put on a cowboy hat and said He was going to ride my Ass like I was a pony. He Fucked me mercilessly, torturing my Ass with his thick power tool, Fucking me from side to side, stretching my Ass til I thought I couldn't take it anymore. He gripped the Straps of my Jock as He rode and Slapped both of my Ass cheeks with a Strap til they glowed hot red. He Had placed a mirror by the bed so I could see myself worshiping His Manhood and being put through the paces of being His sex slave. He told me that He liked Fucking my tight Ass more than the Cunts of the white women He used to come home with and I believed it from the quantity of Cum that He shot up my bowels. After punishing my Ass quite thoroughly He allowed me to touch myself and after pumping my Cock for just a few seconds, I must have shot over my head with His Black Cock Deep up my Ass. The next day when I got home, There was some Leather siting on the bed with a note. "Where going out tonight, I had just come out of the shower. When Anthony came over , He helped me get dressed, He put the Cock Cage on me and Locked it in place, He put the keys around His neck, Than came a Lather Jock Strip, Than came a Leather body Hardness, Than the Leather Chap's, And a Leather Collar with a leash and finally a pear of Leather boots, And Leather Restraints, He told me to bend over and spread my cheeks And He than carefully jammed a Bullet up my ass, I asked where we were going? And He said to a Leather Bar ! Anthony locked my hands behind my back, And put a Molly in my mouth. And put a Leather Hood over my head, He talked to people and dragged me around the bar by my Leash, A long the way He ran into Jay in Full Leather, He said I see you got your Slave all dressed up, Anthony said you want to see it dance ? He pushed the button on the remote and there was a jolt in my Ass I tried to scream but with the mouth Gag in place I couldn't , Jay reached out and gabbed my Ass , Jay said He was interested in taping my Ass, We got in a Uber to go home. The driver was a Black Guy too. Anthony told Him the address, And we left Anthony and Jay did not remove any thing, excerpt my mouth Gag, Jay unzipped His pants and pulled His Black Dick out In a drunken stupor, He forced my head down to His Black Dick and jammed it into my mouth, Jay Had the remote and gave me a jolt every once in a while causing me to swallow more of His Black Dick down my throat. The Uber driver was getting excited and said how about I drive you for free and you let me in on your slave ? Anthony said sure. When we got home the three Black Guys dragged me into the apartment. They pushed me on the bed and unlocked my heads and re locked them on to the headboard so I was spread eagle. I was so high , Jay sat on my face and told me to eat His Ass hole. And lifted my legs up exposing my Ass hole, The Black driver who's name was Marcus spit on my Ass and put His Black Dick in my hole and slid on in inch by inch slid in my hole, He started to Fuck me slowly, Anthony turned the egg on slowly at first It started to buzz deep in my hole. Marcus was enjoy the Buzzing in my Ass and was Fucking me, Anthony increased the speed of the egg, Which turned Marcus on even more, My Ass was now a vibrating hole now, I was sticking my tongue in Jay Ass hole and swishing it around, Anthony turned the egg up to full blast, My innards were vibrating, My hole was a vibrating pussy now, Marcus was Fucking my hole Deep, He pushed it in my Hole Deep and said I'm going to Cum , , I could feel His Black Dick throbbing in my Hole. He pulled His Black Dick out of my hole, and switched places with Jay, Marcus came up to my face and pushed His Black Dick into my mouth, and I started sucking His Black Dick, Jay slid on in my vibrating Ass pussy, And Fucked me silly, He was calling me a white Slut, And telling me to take His Black Dick, Marcus Black Dick got hard again and started to grow bigger , He put His Load of Black Cum down my throat, Jay was Fucking me like I was a peace of meat, He liked my vibrating Ass Pussy' Than He dropped His Black Seed Deep in my Ass, Marcus was putting His pants back on, and handed Anthony His number and said anytime you need a Uber Just call and we can take it out in trade, Jay was putting His paints on, And He told Anthony That some of His Black Buddy's could use me. And Anthony show the Guys out. Anthony came back into the room, He untied my hands and rolled me over on my stomach, The Guys liked your vibrating Ass so much that I'm going to put another egg in your Ass, He forced another egg in my Ass, And said He was going to Fuck me now. He slid His Uncut Black Dick into my hole And moaned as He Fucked me. He turned the egg's back on and my Ass started to vibrating like crazy, He Moaned again. And pushed His Black Dick in the Hole. He pushed the second egg in my Hole Deep. I could feel the egg's vibrating in my gut as His Black Dick was Fucking me good. He was getting Verbal Saying that I was His white Slave now for Black Men, He turned the egg's up to high speed, And said I'm going to Cum in your Pussy! I felt Him Cumming in my Ass, He turned the egg's off, and went to sleep, His Cock was still Hard when He started to snore, That night He woke up and started to Fuck me again, When He flipped the egg's on, He Fucked me rough and fast , I could feel my self getting ready to Cum, My Ass started to twitch and my Hole started to convulse and my Dick was Cumming, That was all Anthony could stand He Screamed out I'm Cumming too, He released me, and I took off my Leather outfit, When I got to my Jock it was covered with my Cum, Anthony said He loved it. Now I know what they mean "Once you go Black You'll never go Back" The Black guys I have been with have been mostly straight but they sure got off on Dominating a Hot white guy and turning me into their Bitch for the night. Only I have been honest enough to give in to what I really want which is a Hot Black Stud Fucking the Cum out of my hot white Ass. "Opposites really do Attract".

You really wanna hear it? Like all of it? Fine. But don’t fucking look at me like I’m crazy when I’m done. Don’t give me that pity face, or worse, that fake shock like you’re not just as rotten inside. Here’s the truth... I don’t believe in anything. Not God. There's no “meaning.” Forget that bullshit about everyone being special. People are just meat. Soft, needy, pathetic little animals pretending they’re better than the hunger in their gut. And me? I’m not pretending anymore. I’ve stripped all the layers off, burned every excuse down to nothing, and what’s left is this: I’m here to be used. That’s it. I’m not meant to be someone’s love story. I was never here to be protected. My purpose is to be owned, wrecked, filled, and left dripping with whatever someone felt like dumping into me. And honestly? That feels more honest than any fairytale crap. I mean, think about it. What else is there? Everyone wants to take. To control something, fuck something, ruin something. They lie about it, they dress it up with romance or morality, but deep down? They’re all just waiting for something soft enough to destroy without consequence. That’s why I’m perfect. Because I want to be that soft thing. I want to be the one they don’t hold back on. Who can take it all. You know what actually gets me off? The idea that I’m not even a person to them. That I’m just a hole. A toy. Something they can spit on, piss in, dump their filth into, and not feel bad about because I asked for it. I fantasize about being a permanent fixture... kept somewhere dark and stinking, chained up, plugged and leaking, waiting for whoever feels like using me next. Yeah. That’s my happy place. And it’s not just sex. It’s the philosophy of it. It’s knowing I’m stripping myself of all that fake dignity people cling to. Like, what’s the point of dignity? You die. You rot anyway. So why not rot right now? Why not give up the fight and just become what you really are? Just a body. A fuckable, ruinable body. I want it to go so far I stop being me. I don’t even want a name. Just call me “it,” or “the hole.” Don’t ask how I feel. Stop treating me like I matter. Just use me like the thing you put your hunger into and then wipe yourself off with when you’re done. That’s all I’ve ever been good for anyway. Sometimes I imagine it as a religion. Like I’m the altar, and the worship is just… desecrating me. Filling every hole. Covering me in spit and piss and cum until I don’t even look human anymore. That would be the purest kind of faith, wouldn’t it? No lies, no masks. Just raw hunger meeting raw surrender. I’d let them do anything. Things you’d probably throw up even thinking about. Things I can’t even say out loud without feeling my hole clench. Choke on whatever they shoved in my mouth. Because the truth is… I don’t want to belong to myself. I don’t want to be clean. Don’t want to be “safe” or “loved.” I want to be ruined. And I mean ruined. Like, permanently. Stretched, broken, too used up for anything but more use. I want to be the one they all talk about afterward, laughing about how far they could take it. The one no one remembers as a person - just as “that thing we used.” You get it? It’s not just a kink. It’s a way of seeing the world. There’s no heaven. No higher purpose. No soul floating around inside us. There’s only skin, holes, sweat, filth, and the urge to take. So why not embrace it? Why not be honest and say, Yeah, I’m the one you take from. The one you dump into... ruin. And I want you to keep going until there’s literally nothing left. That’s all I want. To be the final, filthy proof that meaning doesn’t exist. That we’re all just meat. And that some meat is better when it’s willing. So yeah. That’s my fucked up little philosophy. Don’t try to save me. Or tell me I “deserve better.” This is better. It's the only thing that makes sense to me. Now look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t take it too.

t’s not about hating myself. It’s not because I have “daddy issues.” And it’s definitely not because I’m broken. I crave being degraded because in that moment—when I’m on my knees, mouth full, body aching—I feel more than I do anywhere else.More wanted. More filthy. More honest.There’s no pretending when I’m being used like a cocksleeve, called a whore, spat on, pinned down, and told I’m nothing but a hole. That’s not shame. That’s freedom. Freedom to be fucked without limits. Freedom to stop performing “pretty.” Freedom to be the dirty, needy little thing I actually am inside. When he laughs at how I am just a little “pussy", I get from the word slut, my hole clenches. When he spits on me and calls it “affection” I melt. When I’m told I’m only good for being bred and ruined, my whole body lights the fuck up. Degradation doesn’t humiliate me—it releases me. It strips away the surface-level niceties and gives me permission to belong to the desire. To him.I don’t want to be worshipped .I want to be wrecked. Feral. Fucked. Forgotten until I’m needed again. And if he makes me cry in the process? Even better. I’ll thank him with my mouth full.

Another Real Experience (x 2!) - the Porn Star and the Trucker I was watching a Classic Pre-Condom Gay Porn Vid this evening and it brought back two very hot (and very different) experiences. The vid was 1986′s “Oversized Load” about the sexual exploits of some young truckers - and it brought back BOTH the many times I played with one of its’ stars, Scott O’Hara, AND the first time I partied with a trucker in his rig. For those who never saw any of Scott O’Hara’s movies (”Hung and Horny”, “Stick Shift”, “The Other Side of Aspen 2″ and especially “Head Over Heels”) he was a blond cross between an All American Boy type and a Midwestern Farm Boy in looks during the height of his career, was given the label “Biggest Dick in San Francisco” for his very large (and gorgeous) endowment, and his ability to blow himself… which he did frequently in films. He was born a year before me in 1961 and died from AIDS related complications in 1998. I knew him in the 1990s when no studio would hire him anymore because of his status, and he had reinvented himself as an author, publisher and activist - he was also by this time sporting a skin-head ACTUP queer look and was the first person I knew to have any tatoo related to his illness applied to his body. I even wound up writing a number of articles for his magazine “STEAM” which was an unapologetic paen to cruising, recreational and anonymous sex at a time when saying such things aloud invited VERY public scorn and condemnation. I was introduced to him by the photographer I was frequently doing nude shoots for (see the black & whites I posted of myself some months back). Though now in my thirties, I still sported a short blond somewhat military cut (suitable for playing parts like Lt. Cable in “South Pacific”) and just like it used to happen to the hot stud I was about to meet, my clean cut look made many of the pigs “in the scene” underestimate my kink/pig side. Hell, I’d been going to NYC’s leather bars since I was 18! But if you didn’t know me… Anyway, sure enough, the first of the photographer’s parties he invited me to I met with that reaction until the guests learned better… including Mr. O”Hara. I had to go over some details for an upcoming shoot with the host that slowed down my stripping compared to the other guys - there was now a room full of (remember the time period, mid-90s) lean, vascular, shaved guys with either buzz cuts or shaved head and lots of piercings, while a guy (me) who looked like an Army Captain or Police Sergeant was still mostly dressed. I thought the guy who was introduced to me as “Scott” was the hottest of a room full of hotness, and then he turned and I saw the “HIV+” tattoo and growled “fuck yeah”… Scott turned to me with a look of surprise and a smile and said “Man, lookin’ at you I would have expected you to zip up and head out the door, not have THAT reaction!’ I responded that I was full of surprises as my clothes came off revealing my full leather harness, metal cockrings and chrome and leather arm bands. “Told you guys he’d more than fit in,” I heard my host and photographer say. As things were getting comfortable and we were progressing to the sex, Scott stayed by me surreptiously doing some lines and giving me some - probably about ¾ of the guys were doing enhancements, but not everyone was down with it, so the rule was keep it low-key. Considering the way I was reacting, it was probably NOT the coke I thought it was at first (tina was not all that regular at that time - I’d first had it with that pilot back in the 80s - “Karmic Chemfuck” - and only one other time up until this point). There was also a bit of K around and good poppers and Max Impact. Scott was really curious why I wasn’t scared of his tatoo… and I quietly told him I tested positive back in early 1985, and I kept it very quiet for my performing career’s sake - he sure related to that! At that point, even my host didn’t know I was poz - just my partner (who, now after 26 years together is STILL negative) and my doctor. Scott was very turned and and sticking another line of K my way, he looked me in the eye and said “Fuck yes. So you and I can bareback each other tonight - its the only way a man should fuck or be fucked!” Whoa! Bareback… now when sex started for me, everything was bareback (the term itself didn’t even exist) but in order to keep up my slut lifestyle in the 90s, a condom was mandatory and though I hated them I was good at using them as a top… as a bottom they really slowed me down as I always get an allergic reaction to condom style latex. I had thought I’d never feel that ecstasy again, but this absolute satyr of a man caught me at just the right level of “enhancement” that reservations I would normally have had were tempered by his very logical argument and his very hot cock and attitude and his very good party favors. We agreed. The lights in the photography studio went to psychedelic, trance music played and the group went at it. My tongue found other tongues, hot cocks - many with PA’s and some of the hottest manholes I’d encountered with my mouth in a while. There were about 8 of us in total (small compared to some groups) but all hot and all piggy. While we both played with every other guy there, Scott and I also spent a bit of extra time with each other - we dove into an anal 69 seemingly trying to get our whole heads up each others hot chute. We pulled off into a hot kiss and I felt him press something up into my hole - it burned a bit as he put something in my hand and said “here, do me”. I pressed the rock salt like stuff into his hole and we stopped to do another line of it and a hit of poppers and he rolled back onto a waist height wooden block and whispered “slide that poison stick in the poison hole”. It was so wrong, but so right. My cock slipped in easily and I was ballistic with pleasure. As I fucked him and rolled him further onto the block, he smirked at me and took his own cockhead into his mouth, lewdly tonguing it. THAT’s when it finally hit me. I subtly hissed down to him “holy fucking shit - SCOTT is it? You’re Scott O’Hara, I fucking love your movies.” He seemed really pleased at that and after a few more minutes of me pounding his manhole, he called out “switch!”. A quick couple of glugs of fluids, and another something pressed into my butt, making it SCREAM to be filled, and he pushed me back into the position he’d just been in. He gave me a shot of poppers, sprayed some Maximum Impact on someone’s jock that was lying around, shoved it in my mouth and said “here it comes.” JEEEZUS! The first raw cock in my hole in over six years, and it’s that gorgeous giant! It hurt a bit ‘till I stretched around it, but I was so excited and so tweaked, and so relieved to not have latex fucking me that it soon settled in and felt friggin’ amazing. Our host, who knew my play style well glanced over and remarked “I never thought you’d take that monster that easily, if at all!” and then squinting to look closer, realized there was no condom. His eyebrows shot up, but before he could say anything else, he was distracted by a SECOND latex sheathed cock sliding up next to the first in his own hole, and his attention was drawn elsewhere. There were more fucks with the other guys for each of us, both as tops and bottoms (and one other guy who had noticed us also barebacked each of us and let us bareback him). There was also lots more hole-play, some fisting and w/s, a bit of b/d here and there and toy play, and always, lots of rimming of really hot holes. Scott and I had to keep our holes to just us and the one other guy at the end as we’d each blown off up each others fuck chute. I had gone home with a load in my hole and that much joy in years - and oddly, though I played enough times after with my photographer it wasn’t until almost 18 years later that we finally barebacked each other! After that I played with Scott a number of times - a few group scenes, but mostly either as a three-way with our photographer bud (still using condoms on him) or one on one, where he’d get me high and we’d get wonderfully nasty. He hired me to write a number of columns for his “Steam” Magazine between a few more wild fucks. After that night, when I was playing “extracurricularly” I more and more sought out other poz for BB and less and played with those requiring a condom… I’d regained so much physical joy, and if I wasn’t hurting myself or someone else, then there was finally SOME kind of silver lining for this stupid disease (that I’ve now been dealing with for 30 YEARS). Tomorrow, I’ll tell you about the first time I partied with a trucker in his cab! For more about Scott O’Hara: http://likeahornyboy.blogspot.com/2012/06/scott-o-hara-is-too-big.html?zx=5fbde5ac859bcb2

Once, in Atlanta for Pride, I hooked up w/2 bears in Heretic. I didn't get their names, but back at their place, Bear A was enjoying a mustache ride as Bear B fingered my butthole. "He's a good buttlicker," Bear A laughed as he unloaded on my tits. I came too, all over my belly. Bear B said, "OK, you want me to pull my hand out fast or slow?" "Hand? HAND? Your whole hand? in my hole?" I was muffled, cause I still had my tongue up a butthole. Guess I looked like a real slut, not realizing I had a whole hand in my hole, huh? Oh, and Bear B still expected to be serviced. We got ONE hour's sleep. They had to staff a booth for some club - Southern Bears? - at Fag Pride. I was free to roam around the park till my friends that I'd left at the bar the night before showed up. By 9 AM, I was bored. It was 94 degrees, so I ditched my shirt... I kinda spent the next 7 hours giving BJs. (OK, I got fucked 3-4 x, too.)

From melbourne. Currently Thursday here. Monday have organised my conversion. With two high toxic tops. My time has come to not hide from what I am. I welcome the Sarah Palin death seed.