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This evening I was simultaneously overwhelmed by the minute margin of error involved in paying December rent (particularly as I determined, after careful calculation, that the entire balance of my checking account, the check I received this afternoon from my father, the $20 I accidentally overpaid a friend when repaying a small loan a couple months ago that she is determined to give me, and the five loose dollar bills in my wallet added up to the exact amount of the rent check, before remembering the five dollar fee that is to be placed on my impending request for a cashier's check...the whole thing is sadistic) and desperately not in the mood to remain alone the rest of the evening that I accepted an unusually open and beneficent-sounding invitation to pay a visit to (and share in the resources of) a kind if markedly average-looking 40 year old Venezuelan in Pasadena. I'd subsequently laid tentative plans with a 26 year old from Long Beach who would have been a far better match had he contacted me literally three minutes earlier than he did, as I refuse to play the inconsiderate, selfish white boy in his 20s by doing things like blowing off a kind offer that I had already accepted in favor of something younger and whiter.

He actually looked better than his pictures, which was an improvement from potentially homely to benignly inoffensive average-ness; score one for my host. Scores two through four hundred came as I discovered he was indeed every bit as selfless, understanding, open and a good host as he'd claimed to be. I decided not to take the next step with the boy from Long Beach, only to run into him a bit later online and foolishly succumb to his invitation to ditch my host and schlep down the 110 for some supposedly fun fucking around. Then just as the plan went into effect (with the worst timing ever), I somehow couldn't bring myself to go through with the planned charade, and my unusually hard cock ended up deep in his hairy but accommodating hole.

If I may make a note in case anyone cares or might be affected by this someday, I do appreciate (if not fully believe still) when a person is genuinely complimentary about my physical appearance and attributes, as this particular host turned out to be extraordinarily keen on being. However, when I'm trying to fuck around (or really, for that matter, pretty much any other time as well), I don't like a general tone of pseudo-romanticness, or otherwise sweetness. It does not advance my sexual quest to hear a person compliment my smile, my eyes, or other compliments that involve the words "cute" or "beautiful" (unless the latter is used about a sexual part, in which case that is both flattering AND a turnon). And of course I feel like the most pompous and ungrateful lout whenever this kind of situation happens, and could (and should) never actually share this abnormally unappreciative fact with someone who has spent some amount of time and effort paying me compliments that I would have killed to have gotten from ANYONE at any time five or six years ago as I was drowning in the cruelly shallow West Hollywood bar gay culture. Instead, I typically smile politely and hope the well-intentioned patron correctly analyzes my oft pointedly blank expression and changes tack.

But I learned that the situation I just described tended to only exist whenever my dick was not inside his ass, and therefore made every effort to see that that was not the case as much as possible. And finally I was enjoying myself (physically) so much that I asked permission to cum (meaning no pulling out, which is my rule as a rare top as well as bottom), was granted it, and enjoyed the most glorious orgasm inside his hole that I suspect might still be making its way out of his ass. It was a lot of cum, especially for me.

And to his credit, as I made sure to tell him, he did have the kind of opening that is the only one for which I will undertake the role of top for any amount of time - my fucked up way of complimenting what I consider a great hole. He was a genuinely decent guy and I was more than happy to add him to the short list of guys I've bred. And I should be sexually satisfied now for at least the bulk of the day ahead. This is always a good thing on a work day.

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Okay, whether or not I ever write here or for that matter do anything ever again I have to just document the supremely incredible fuck I just got tonight...and out of the nearly 700 or so ballpark estimate I'm talking this being up there in the top ten. I'll definitely fill in all the hot details shortly, but just the basics: he was very attractive (not exactly the norm with me, though that's not a requirement either), about 35 with a nice defined swimmer type body that looked gym-sculpted, a cute face, and a cock that went from pleasantly plump to porn star-like perfection: not freakishly huge, but with the perfect tapering from head to base, straight as an arrow like mine, etc. But mainly it just was one of those cocks that just fit inside me perfectly; he got past second sphincter without any resistance or discomfort from me outside or in, and it just was an amazing quick fuck that ended with his rather loud orgasm as he shot inside me that will probably have my nosy neighbors talking for a while. It was just such an unexpected rendezvous where everything that usually can go wrong or just less than ideally went, well, the way it would go in one of the great Falcon movies from the early nineties.

Except with a creampie.

Now I'm off for potentially more fun with a friend in Hollywood.... I will, of course, keep you posted.

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So around 5 or 5:30 this morning I put up a Craigslist ad looking for a quick pump-and-dump load or two before work. Got some fun responses I'll definitely follow up on in the future, and the first winner was a guy who lives seven or eight blocks away and who had an above average torso pic and who I guessed to be mid to late 30s. I was figuring it would be a simple quickie as planned.

But the moment I saw him outside the gate I was taken aback by how totally hot he was: he fit so much of the mold of my ideal aesthetics in a man that of course I got a bit nervous, because usually guys I feel that way about don't tend to be into me. But when we got to my apartment he was naked instantly and he had a gorgeous cock to top everything off. I was sucking him off as he sat on the couch, then he pulled me up and began making out with me, like passionately, and I started to become aware that he apparently was as unexpectedly into me as I was into him. He liked spitting into my mouth or onto my chest and stomach, something I've never much been into but LOVED him doing, and he started referring to me as his boy and him as a daddy, even though he was definitely not old enough to make the title a given.

He talked about wanting to tie me up and use me, eventually getting me used by other guys too, and he was really into my hole in ways I haven't encountered much but found I loved. I'm usually too tense to really enjoy being rimmed, but he would blow into my ass and tell me to push it back out, going against every impulse I've trained myself to have but in a refreshing, not problematic way. His cock was definitely big, but best of all it was just thin enough to fit through my tight second sphincter that is an issue (usually just for a moment, but still) with 99.9% of cocks that have been in there since my surgeries, and as I realized that I just pushed down onto it and sure enough it went in. I know that feels unbelievable and unusual for guys who've been able to get in that deep, and it always sounds like they're loving it. He shot a LOT of cum inside me and I would have gladly kept his cock in me all day if we didn't both have to go to work. I know it was a lot because as I sit here writing this it's oozing out my hole slowly, meaning he overflowed me, and I can hold a lot of cum. Fucking AMAZING and I hope to get to take up on this idea of being his boy that he said he wanted.

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Well, here it is, the first day of 2010, which also happens to be the first day of a year I've been sort of planning for quite a while now. My ultimate overall goal for this year is that it be one in which I shed any last lingering doubts, concerns, inhibitions, self-consciousness, and any other obstacles to me living the life and becoming the sexual creature I've known my whole life that I want and need to be, since I've become increasingly certain over the years that to do so will be the key to realizing my potential and my most inherent needs.

I'd been planning to keep a sort of record of the year ahead and my attempts, be they successful or less so, to finally match my actions with my desires and thoughts, a public record in blog form, as while my sexual adventures, thoughts and efforts to come are primarily on my own behalf, as is to be expected, a part of what makes my ideal sex life so terrifically hot in my mind is the notion of sharing it in some way with other guys who for whatever reason liked or got turned on by what I do, how I think and essentially who I am. That's definitely not to say that I expect that from others by any means - I couldn't be further from being that egotistical and self-confident. But as much as things like getting my hole full of cum turn me on, I get twice as turned on by someone getting turned on by me getting my hole full of cum. (Wrap your head around that if you can!) So whether one solitary guy stumbles upon my 2010 journal and enjoys himself or a hundred guys do so, I'll love it all so much more for knowing someone else is getting some kicks out of this stuff too.

Since my ideas on the aforementioned public blog are more suited to a different blog host, I won't be using this particular one anymore, as I started this sort of as a leadup trial run for myself and didn't expect much if any readership at any time. However, as I've heard from several guys over the last month or so who somehow found their way here and seem to have enjoyed what they found (which I love, and apologize that I've been slow replying to such messages lately!), I thought I'd put a little transitional ending here instead of vanishing into thin air!

If you feel so inclined you can pop over to fratcumdump.wordpress.com from now on; keep in mind that it may not be fully functioning for a little bit while I get it all up and started. At some point I'll export my posts from this blog over there as well.

Thanks for reading, and happy new year!

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Um, this is unbelievable. The ABSOLUTE hottest thing I think I've ever seen. I had caught a part of it before on BareDerek's (sadly) defunct blog, but never the whole thing, with the fucktacular ending. As with the other, link is below in case the embed doesn't look good on your screen.

In case you haven't guessed, I'm so busy with work this week that I'm not hooking up much.

Without further ado:

Link.

As always, if you own this video and you would like me to take it down, please contact me at skinonskinnyc@gmail.com and I will promptly remove it. Or, even better, give me a link to a place where my readers can buy your video and let this video show them exactly why they should!

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I've had a horribly busy week and got home late, exhausted, and horny. While I ate some tuna and mixed veggies, I decided to check out Manhunt. One of the hot black dudes I've been chatting with on there asked if I wanted to come out to Brooklyn and get fucked. I had no desire to and said maybe another time.

Then he said the magical words: "four day load."

So, forty minutes later I was walking up a hill in a sketchy part of Brooklyn, ringing a buzzer, and was confronted by a shirtless, muscled, smiling black beauty of a man. He had a small tattoo of encircling his large, well-defined bicep, and this amazing 8-pack set of abs. He offered me a glass of water. I accepted, but before I could finish I had to lick his nipples, which stood at attention.

Soon we were making out against the wall of his entry hallway. He pulled off my shirt and unbuttoned my pants, exposing my precum-soaked boxers. I felt his dick and it was a good 8" to 9", snaking up and to one side. After some more kissing, we got totally naked and he led me by the hand to his bedroom.

I was a little unnerved to find he had like three aquariums in there. It also reminded me that I had just eaten tuna and forgotten to brush my teeth. But he didn't mind.

After sucking my dick for a few minutes (he was good, but not great), he kneeled in front of me and pressed against my lips with the head of his cock. "Suck it," he commanded.

I complied, probably more eagerly than necessary. I gave him a good working-over, getting it nice and wet and using my tongue to the best of my ability.

His body was amazing, and I let my hands wander all around as he fed me his cock. His ass was like stone, his thighs could crush almost anyone, and his hands were extraordinarily powerful.

I was brought back to reality as he held my head still and started fucking my face. I kind of hate that, because I like to be in control and I haven't yet conquered my gag reflex when it comes to big dicks like his. The idea of it is hot to me... I like the thought of giving over to a top in that way. But in practice... um, not so much.

Soon, he was eating my hole, which as you may recall is something that I've also disliked at times in the past. I'm trying to force myself to adjust to liking it, with success. I may have forgotten to brush my teeth, but I certainly hadn't forgotten to clean out down there, and I just gave over to it and let him eat that hole like there was nothing better in the world. And he really did get into it, moaning and grunting and getting super turned-on. That got me turned on and when he came up to kiss me, I wasn't even that grossed out.

Finally, he got me on all fours and instead of his tongue, I was greeted by dick. He spit in his hand, lubed himself up, and pushed the head in. He held it there for a long time, finally forcing me to push back on it. He laughed, "I knew you'd get the point."

It took me a second, but eventually I realized he wanted me to impale myself on that monster. It was tough, so he got out some poppers (which I normally don't like to do, since there's some evidence that they can have a negative impact on CD4+ cells). I hesitated, then allowed him to use them. I felt a warm wave wash over me, my ass relaxed, and I fucked myself down onto his dick.

"That's it, that's right," he said. In no time, I was gliding back and forth, eagerly ramming my ass back as hard as I could go. Finally he grabbed my shoulders and kept me from pulling forward, so he could keep is dick in me. He pulled me tighter back against him, getting deeper and deeper inside me. Once I felt his balls against my ass, I knew he was in control again.

He pulled out maybe an inch, slowly, then slammed back in really quickly. He repeated this, pulling out a little more each time and then ramming back in. I'd grunt and almost fall forward each time, so he grabbed one shoulder with one of his strong hands, and the other he cupped over my mouth, pushing a finger between my lips to suck on it.

He continued his assault, until he was pulling almost all the way out and then slamming back into me. Finally, I was about to ask him to ease up a little when he blurted out, "Fuck, I'm gonna cum!"

He started grunting loudly on each slam, finally forcing me down onto the bed as he collapsed, panting on top of my back. The feeling of his sweaty body against my back was amazing. I turned over on my side, reached back to recover some of the four-day load he had shot, and used it as lube to jerk my own two-day load out onto the sheets.

We showered together, then I headed back to the subway. Saw a yellow cab. Was too weak to resist, stuck my hand in the air, and had him speed me back to my comfy place in Manhattan.

Sure makes up for the shitty work week I'm having!

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So, I've gone to some lengths to avoid being personally associated with the blog, making sure to change the odd detail here and there to obscure my identity a little bit.

So whatever possessed me to talk about it openly with like four friends? Some of whom now read it. There's one kind of mind-space where you're talking about this stuff anonymously. There's another kind of mind-space when you're talking dirty with your friends.

This sits in a third place, which is extremely uncomfortable on one hand and extremely liberating in another sense. It's interesting to find that the secret self, the one that I keep only for me, is now integrated with the external perceptions that certain other people have of me.

Obviously, if you've corresponded with me, nobody has heard about your correspondence, incidentally, and nobody ever will. But it's really, really strange to know that there are specific people who know specifically what I'm up to, and are reading about me describing my sex life in exquisitely explicit detail. And then coming over for drinks or an episode of The Golden Girls or a showing of

Some guys might get off on that sexually, the knowing that others are reading and knowing who he is. I don't. I do find it interesting, from a psychological standpoint, to analyze the way it plays out in my psyche.

I'm interested to hear the thoughts of others, especially in the comments so we can have an open discussion (if you're so inclined).

Later,

Adam

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One of the readers I've been corresponding with gave me permission to reprint this story about a hot time he had at a gym somewhere in New York City. It's EXTREMELY hot, but as I reread it a second time, I started thinking about risk and HIV, so I share some thoughts on that below.

From "R" -

as i said, the gym is totally gay. even the "str8" guys get a little action in the steamroom. they staff keeps an eye on the steamroom, but its pretty lax enforcement. just enough to keep it from turning into a total backroom. there is always a guy or guys in there to stroke off with, or get some mutual stroking in. i've seen lots of blowjobs, and even enjoyed a couple. it's difficult when the gym in busy, people going in and out all the time, but when it gets a little later, 8-ish in the evening, or another dead time, 4-5 on the weekends, etc. it's pretty quiet. i've also seen lots of guys play a little in the steamroom or sauna and then end up in a shower stall together. who knows what's going on in there (although i do imagine it!) anyway, one sunday afternoon, about 5 o'clock, i finished up my work out and headed to the steam room. there were a coupe guys in there already who were obviously showing off to each other. definite hard cocks under the towels. so i immediately dropped my towel and started playing with myself to let them know it was cool. they immediately uncovered and started stroking also. they were sitting next to each other, so i sat at the corner, facing them both.

they both had lean, worked out bodies, but not totally chelsea boys. both cute faces, one was latin, maybe spanish or portuguese, and the other was an all-american white boy. the latin boy had a great uncut cock, that i really wanted to suck, but the other guy was way ahead of me. after maybe a minute of jerking off, the white boy started jerking the uncut cock. he then leaned over and started sucking on it. i was totally hard by then. i started playing with the white guy's cock. he stopped and started sucking a few times while I jerked him off, but he seemed nervous that someone was going to walk in. the latin guy had reached behind the white one and was playing with his ass. i could feel him sticking his ass out to give him easy access.

the latin guy was looking at the door and looking at me, so i got up and stood so that i could keep watch out the door. that made the latin guy more aggressive in playing with the white guy's ass. he pulled the white guy up and stood him in front of him so he could finger his hole easier. the white guy was totally into it and seemed more relaxed since i was watching the door. he stuck his ass out and the latin guy stood up. he started rubbing his cock on the white guy's ass. at first, the bottom stood back up (not sticking his ass out) and seemed hesitant to do anything. the latin guy was not having it though, and kept at his ass with his hard uncut cock. he kept spitting on his hand and then rubbing it on his cock. finally the bottom bent over a little and that was all it took. the latin guy pretty much just stuck it in. there was definitely a "OMG, ouch" moment, but the top kinda just kept going. after a couple strokes, the bottom got over it and was into it. the top was fucking him fully in and out. i was totally hard, but couldn't jack off because i was at the door, although not really watching anymore because i didn't want to miss anything. it only took a minute for the top to make a little noise. the bottom was jacking off too, and didn't really know what to do when the top groaned, but then stood up, pulled off, and whispered, "don't cum in me". the top was obviously done though. he didn't say anything (maybe he doesn't speak english???) but he smiled and wrapped his towel around his waist and walked out, past me.

i sat down and said "totally hot" to the bottom, who also sat down. we jerked off together, and he shot a huge load on his chest. it was actually kinda funny when he walked out to the shower, because he had cum all over him.

i've never seen the bottom again, but the top still shows up there every once in a while. OK, that turned out longer than i thought... and now i'm hard again. lol

* * * * * * *

That's the sort of thing that I'd consider doing now that I'm positive. I may have done it before, had my wild side come out to play over time, but like that bottom kid I probably would have been both freaked out and turned on by it. I actually feel kind of bad for him, in a couple ways. First is that he was HIV- (or thought he was, which he revealed when he said, "Don't cum in me!"), and he put himself at risk in a way that was both really hot and really dumb. He probably kicked himself for a while after that. It's interesting to reflect on the hot/dumb ratio that all of us have to toy with as gay men. I feel bad for that kid and for all of us that we have to worry about HIV at all. I'm doing great with it, and everyone I know who has it seems to be doing well. But managing it, treating it, and saying that's the best we can do isn't enough. We've got to beat the germ. The cure has to happen, and we have to make sure that we aren't just demonstrating for marriage rights, but also for the cure. There's promising research out there. Let's get active and start pushing for billions more in cure-focused research, so that we can all have the kind of fun we deserve to have.

The kid in my reader's story deserved to have fun without worrying about getting a virus that could put him on medicine for the rest of his life. We all deserve it. Agreed? Then make a donation to amfAR and make sure to sign their petition for a national AIDS strategy.

And then leave a comment or send me an email!

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Just barely. I have a bad cold/flu. I'll be back soon.

In the meantime, keep yourself entertained with this:

It's sort of hot, and foreshadows the post when I finally get around to telling you about my last fuck...

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Sorry for being absent. I've been doing a job search, sort of without success, and I've also had some fairly shitty health issues going on. Not loving it. Those readers who are HIV-, there are good reasons to stay that way and just read my blog to get your bareback thrills, lol.

From a fucktale standpoint, I have a lot of catching up to do to get you up to date. As I hinted in my last post with the video, I had a hot fuck a while back with an amazing, lean-bodied African-American dude in Inwood.

I met him on Manhunt, as I tend to do. It was specifically through my Skinonskin blogging account, so he didn't even get to see a face pic - kudos to him for trusting me to not be a hideous manhag (a new word I'm going to start spreading... join me!).

Anyway, so after about three months on the uptown A train, I got off at his stop and walked to his house. There's an actual freakin' farmhouse on the hill there. That's how weird and distant that neighborhood is. I admire people who have the wherewithal to live there. I couldn't do it. I guess I'm a Chelsea/Hell's Kitchen snob.

I buzzed his number and he let me in. I walked up three flights of stairs to his place, rang the door bell, and waited. He opened the door and was even cuter than his pictures.

He smiled and pulled me inside. We made out in the hallway for a second and he led me straight to the bedroom and closed the door. He unbuttoned his jeans and let them fall to the ground. He wasn't wearing underwear, and a large, beautiful black dick flopped out. He was not wasting any time! He was half-hard and I dropped to my knees to get him the rest of the way there.

Soon he was hard and dripping precum.

Up to this point, very little had been spoken, and I was sort of turned on by that. I'm not usually into frantic, practically anonymous scenes, but he had such a lean body and such a great cock that I was kind of getting into it.

I stood up and he kissed me once, hard and deep. Then he unbuttoned my coat, threw my scarf on the floor, ripped off my shirt, unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down. With my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles, he bent me over face down on the bed and lubed up my ass and his cock.

Silently, he entered me. I pulsed my ass muscles to ease him in, but it was still hurting a little bit. Eventually, he got all the way in and I slowly got accustomed to his size.

He started fucking harder and harder. It was one of those instances that bottoms love, when you can feel the whole length of a long dick and it feels like the top is penetrating halfway up the inside of the torso. I breathed deeply to bear the sensation and ground back to hold him deep for a minute, enjoying the fullness.

He took that chance to kick my pants the rest of the way off with his foot, and I helped by pushing my shoes off. He withdrew long enough to flip me on my back and pull off his white wife-beater. His abs were so amazing I found myself poking at them with my index finger.

Then he was kissing my neck and his massive dick was grinding back into my wet, welcoming ass. He got in deep, and I looked at his eyes, as I ran my hand over his beautifully full lips, his stubbled cheek, his closely-cropped hair. I gripped the back of his neck and gave over to the bucking, unrelenting assramming he was unleashing on me. I couldn't help but just grunt on each thrust of his hips. He started breathing heavily.

"Where do you want the nutt?" he asked. (I've now read enough gay porn that I know that "nutt" is the proper spelling.)

My initial internal monologue was, "Um, you read my blog. You know where I want the nutt." Then it dawned on me he wanted me to beg for it. So I did.

"Shoot it up my fuckin ass, man," I said.

"Louder," he insisted. I obliged, urging him on as he got closer and closer, and finally he let out something that sounded like "Gah!" and he let loose, shooting his load deep inside my guts. As usual, that was all I needed to paint my chest and abs white with a good four or five-squirt load.

After that, we cleaned up and talked briefly about life, about our respective HIV experiences (he has a shitty doc, I referred him to mine), and about other stuff that I've forgotten about since it's been a while.

I went home feeling very satisfied.

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I'm back, boys! Sorry for the long delay. As I said in the last post, which I just finished and published, I've had a lot going on.

To those who know my real identity - Shhhhhhhhhh!!! I'll appreciate your keeping my secret!

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So, in keeping with my fucktales catch-up theme, it's time to tell you about the really hot time I had with a guy from Kuwait.

I was at Campus Thursdays at Splash on one of those really cold nights last month, when it came time to go home. There were cute boys, there was good music, I was having a good time - but it was just time. I had a lot to do, I wasn't feeling great, etc.

As I waited for the uptown 1 train at 18th St, I noticed this hot Middle Eastern guy who had been in the bar glancing my way. He had a buzz cut, light scruff, one of those cool leather jackets with no collar that I'm dying to have (here's another one that's actually approaching my price range), and even under the jacket you could tell he was really built (which I already knew from seeing him on the dance floor at Splash).

I stood by the edge of the platform, looking down the track to see if the train was coming.

"We just missed it," he said with a slight accent.

"Oh, that's too bad," I said. "Better have a seat, then, huh? I'm Adam."

Well, that was an easy enough first contact! I thought to myself.

"I'm Salim," he said [not his real name]. He extended his hand and we shook. His hand was powerful. I started to get a little hard but tried to control myself.

We went through the small talk, the "I saw you dancing," etc. Eventually the train pulled into the station, and we rode up. I enjoyed his company and the conversation. I asked for his number as we pulled into my stop in Midtown.

"I don't usually give that out," he said. I felt a little disappointed and (to be honest) I felt a little foolish for thinking he was interested. I have lost a lot of muscle tone since the beginning of winter, not to mention muscle mass. Maybe I just didn't have it anymore.

As I prepared to exit, I said, "Well, then, it was nice to meet you, have a great night!" I started to walk out the doors of the train.

"But don't you want to come to my place?" he said, loudly enough to be audible to anyone in the car. I stopped in my tracks and looked around. About thirty pairs of eyeballs were trained on me in surprised expectation.

"Um, sure!" I said, a little more loudly than I needed to: "I haven't seen it since you redecorated!" (Yeah, that'll fool 'em!, I thought to myself sarcastically.) Confusion registered on his face, so I quickly changed the subject back to the conversation we had been enjoying before.

We got to his place on the Upper West Side (near one of my favorite Chinese restaurants, actually) and he took me upstairs. The doorman smirked at me knowingly in a way that clued me into the fact that this guy was probably a big old slut (said the bareback blogger hypocritically).

Upstairs, we got comfortable and sat down. Then, he started smoking - ack! Now, you should know, I hate being around tobacco smoke. I think it's disgusting, it's deadly, it's smelly, it makes people (and cum) taste bad - there is nothing at all sexy about it. A strange thing, happened, though... in looking at him in disbelief (he didn't even ask permission!), I started to find that it kind of made him hotter and more exotic to me - my dick got completely rock hard in no time flat. But I quickly let him know that it caused me respiratory problems and he apologetically extinguished the offending item.

He leaned in to kiss me, and his breath wasn't actually nearly as bad as I expected, so we went for it. Soon we were tangled in an extremely passionate tongue-fest that was equal parts panting and grinding. One garment after another went flying against the wall or the bookshelf or over the top of his flatscreen... till finally I was gobbling his gorgeous cock with its gentle upward curve, all the way to the base.

After a few minutes of me sucking him, he said, "I want to be inside you."

In the heat of the moment, HIV disclosure is NOT easy, let me tell you. That's why I much prefer to talk about it on a dance floor in the lull between being those people making out on the dance floor and heading out the door together, or online, where it's just spelled out. So, in that moment, rather than bringing up the buzzkill that is HIV, I just said, "Cool. I have condoms and lube." They were in my bag beside the couch, so I reached in with one hand while we made out some more.

He was on top of me, his dick pressing against my hole in that pre-fuck tease that used to scare the shit out of me before I was poz. "Is he going to do it? Oh no! I want him to. I don't want him to! Shit! What if he does? Do I have the willpower?" Well, nowadays, it doesn't scare me for me, but I still try to be a good boy. I really wanted him to push on in raw, of course, but I was determined to do the right thing.

He repositioned himself, kissing me in a more relaxed way while lubing up my hole. His fingers were so amazingly strong, I could even tell it from that. His chest was amazing, his thighs were like something from a statue - he really was something else.

Then I felt his dick against my hole, bare. For a split second I considered not speaking up, but I did. "Um, how about a condom?"

"It's ok, I trust you," he said. Trust me?!, I thought. You didn't even ask yet!

I told him he should wear a condom because of my HIV status, and he just sort of shrugged. "I've topped positive guys before. I might even be positive, I haven't tested in almost a year. I just really don't like condoms, I can't feel anything."

Having experienced the difference, now, I understand. In my earlier, HIV- days, I would have been completely pissed at him. Now, there's so much gray area that I never knew existed. I said that I would only do what he was comfortable doing, and he said he was only comfortable doing it raw.

So, he did. And he was an out of this world top. He fucked me so hard I thought I was going to crack my skull on the bookshelf beside the couch. He was verbal too, but I have no idea what he said half the time because he was speaking his own language.

After a few minutes, my misgivings melted away and I gave in to the warm, wonderful invasion of my ass. He flipped me over, fucking me on all fours. He flipped me on my back. He fucked me from below. He put me ass-up in his chair. He fucked me on my back on the floor, on all fours on the floor and finally standing, bent over the little table he called a dining room (in the living room).

My dick was hard as a rock and I started to get close. I told him, and he said, "Oh yeah! Show it to me! Show me your cum!" I jerked my cock and after about two strokes I started shooting, beginning with a lightning-fast jet across the table. He started grunting behind me and I could tell he was cumming inside me. He put his head down on my back as we both grew weak from the force of our orgasms.

He withdrew and we curled up on the couch together for a while. I asked him some gently probing questions about his laissez-faire attitude towards HIV; he reacted by asking me why I let him go ahead, if I was worried about him. The truth was, I couldn't answer. I felt kind of bad - but also good that I had given him the power to make an informed decision. I would never top a bottom without a condom; maybe I just buy into the myth that tops don't get it, on some level. But of course they do. After we talked some more, we cleaned up. In the shower, he kept going on and on about how hot it was.

"I want to do that with you over and over and over and over," he said. I can't lie, I'd like nothing more than to oblige that request. But we'll see. I really do try to be a good boy, and I'm not sure that I'm comfortable doing that when my head isn't clouded by the puberty-level hormonal surges that have been pulsing through my body the past few months. Furthermore, he never did give me his number. So unless I see him some Thursday at Splash... he's just another one night wonder.

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I'm on my next mission. My mission is to fuck or get fucked in a strange, unusual, or very cool place. Examples could be in your corner office with a view of the whole city, in a hot tub on your building's roof deck, in the back room at the bar where you work... I'm tired of having sex in living rooms and bedrooms!

I'm going to be a little open minded with this mission, since it might never be accomplished if it HAS to be in a certain place like the men's room at the Metropolitan Museum or something like that.

If you're an NYC poz barebacker who wants to fuck or get fucked in an unusual location, hit me up. Otherwise I'll see if one of my existing poz fuckbuddies wants to give it a try.

Adam

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With fan mail like this, who needs a Manhunt profile or a video, lol?

This is from a gorgeous twink from the UK who contacted me through my Facebook account (which I've finally gotten recreated - I'm rebuilding my network, so add me if you want... I never post inappropriate things on the walls of others unless it's CLEARLY a wall where that's already going on). I'd love to have sex with this beautiful dude. Here's what he had to say:

"wow m8....

just reading the last bit you wrote.... that got me so horned up..

reading it and imagine it... FUCK the thought of getting in2 a position and waiting 4u... waiting 2 feel your wet precummy knob pushing on my hole.... then feel as you slowly slid into me raw ... right up 2 your cum filled balls...

then you just stay deep in me 4 a bit, both of us snoggin... and knowing you are deep in me raw.... you knowing your in as deep as you can get.... and me feeling you in me....

then you start 2 fuck me.. you want so much 2 cum and fill me with your seed... im grabbin you ass and pulling u in me... wanting 2 hear you say that you're cumming ... then feel the 1st shot of your seed fill me...

wow i really get turned on thinking of you xxxx"

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The title pretty much says it. Enjoy!

Link. As always, if you own this video and you'd like me to take it down, just drop me an email. Or, even better, just provide a link where my readers can BUY your video and let this show them exactly why they should buy it!

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Link.

If you own it, you know the drill.

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Link.

As always, if you own it and want it taken down, email me.

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As I think I may have mentioned, I'm not a very experienced top. There's a catch-up fucktale I owe you, which is actually embarrassing. I chickened out and couldn't do it. I finally understand performance anxiety. So, I decided to practice.

Tonight I met a cute guy with dark hair who was a little taller than me, and after determining he was a bottom, put the mojo in motion. In about half an hour we were at my place with my Trojan-shrouded dick up his ass.

I did fairly well. Not great, but ok. I don't normally talk about my safer-sex adventures (which probably outnumber my raw adventures), since the theme of the blog is skin on skin.

But this was fun and hopefully will give me more confidence in the future.

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Here's a really hot scene that combines a few of my favorite things - soldiers, group sex, and bareback sex.

Link. As always, if you own this copyright and want it taken down, email me.

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I'm back from the long blogging vacation with a backlog of fucktales to share as well as the tale of my hiatus.

Keep an eye here over the next several days!

Sorry for my absence.

-Adam

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Sorry again for being away. I've decided not to tell the story of why I was gone for so long. Here's all the information you need: I had a lot of action (some of which I was supposed to catch you up on before my disappearance), got sick sometime during my absence, got fat while I was sick, started HIV medicine, got better, lost weight and only recently felt confident enough to start having sex again.

Good to be back! I kept a diary for my own purposes (a spreadsheet, with lots of details), so rest assured that the ensuing fucktales from my absence are true.

Now, where was I? Ah, yes.

So back in the spring, as you know, I was really looking good, feeling good and having a lot of sex. One memorable occasion found me caught in the rain on Broadway and Astor with a friend of mine. We had been drinking at Pieces, which was (and still is, depending on the night) enjoying a period of hotness rarely seen by a West Village gay bar these days. "Kevin," as I'll call him, was walking me to my train and was going to stop and get some pizza before going home, which was nearby on 14th St.

Whereupon, we were splashed by a taxi. After screaming various New York-style obscenities after the driver, we realized we were both shivering. I couldn't imagine getting on the subway all wet like that in the cold, and he then had no interest in pizza. He suggested I come back to his place for some dry clothes.

So, we hurried there and stripped. He dived into his bed and covered up. I jokingly asked if he could accommodate one more in there and he held the comforter up. I jumped in and we warmed ourselves together for a second. His body was warm and firm (he's a runner), and I could feel his heart pounding when I rested my head on his chest.

As gays will do, we got totally hard within about two minutes and started making out.

Kevin is this hot Asian guy with a smooth, hard chest and a 4-pack leading down to one of the larger uncut Asian cocks in the world. I gave it a lick and launched into about three minutes of excellent blowjob action. He's pretty strong, and he flipped me over onto my back to suck me for a while. He was almost too respectful about it and I had to give him some verbal encouragement to get a little more aggressive.

Once he got going, he flipped me onto my stomach and started eating my ass.

"Dude, you sure you want to do that without a shower?" I asked. I can't stand the smell or taste of a sweaty ass and I kind of hate rimming or being rimmed in general (as I think I've mentioned on here). But he seemed to get into it so I let him go.

He then came up to kiss me, which grossed me out but I gave in to it and let him. He had really kissable lips and before long I got into it. Then I was surprised to feel his foreskin on my hole, followed by pressure from the head.

"Um, want to get a condom?" I asked him. Kevin is a pretty good friend and knew both my HIV status and my love of bareback sex. I also knew that as far as he knew, he was HIV-.

He responded by flipping me onto my back again, lifting my legs, and spitting on my hole. He laughed, kissed me again, and started pushing in.

"You like it better this way, don't you?" he asked.

So he started fucking, and I gave in. I closed my eyes and let him take control, feeling the luxuriously soft bed and pillows surrounding me and contrasting against his hard, thrusting body.

"You want me to cum inside you?" he asked. I could tell he really wanted to. Just then a clap of thunder sounded outside the building, and we both laughed.

"You'd better pull out," I advised. He kept thrusting and then just held still. "Fuck, I'm cumming," he said, unloading in me. He locked eyes with me and stroked my face gently, then kissed me. I felt his dick jerk a little and start to go soft.

That was my cue, and I jerked my cock until I splashed my body and his pillows with my own cum.

I immediately felt regret. There's a huge sense of very real responsibility to being poz, and sometimes we all want things that aren't good for us. When we're HIV- and with a poz guy, sometimes we want to do things that could hurt us. I don't like the idea of hurting anyone.

Kevin is still HIV-, and while we haven't had sex since April, he tells me it was still the best sex of his life. So I don't feel too guilty... but I'm sure I would feel pretty bad if he had become infected.

Thanks for sticking with me during my absence, guys!

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Here's the second attempt at the post from the other day.

One night not long after my night with Kevin last spring, I spent a long night at Therapy trying hard to get a cute little twink back to my house for sex. Try as I might, the most I could get was a stroke on the arm, a pat on the back, or some other confusing non-signal that could be read as, "I like attention - thank you!" Finally little twinky man decided he wanted to head out for the night and I wasn't going to stay and work for another guy. So I followed him out to the corner of 8th and 52nd, where he proceeded to shove his tongue down my throat and his hand down my pants.

"Good to meet you," he said and got in a cab. Leaving my cock throbbing in my jeans.

So, I ran straight to my bedroom and logged onto Manhunt. For the sake of the retelling, it's important to note that this is the account that's NOT linked to this blog, meaning that I don't mention status or bareback or anything. It's where I go when I want to be the boy next door.

At first, I got several of those late night annoyances: "unlock please thanks" and a quick disappearance as they go to continue jerking off, no intention of having sex. Then a couple possible hits that were too far away or not what I was looking for that night in terms of type. (I have evolving types. Sometimes I like a hot Latino, sometimes I need a blond twink, sometimes I need a muscle daddy... it depends on my mood.)

Eventually, a cute guy wrote to me, making sure to unlock right away and telling me where he was in the city. He was two blocks away. Status not listed. I wrote back. I saved the conversation, so this is exact!

I put my shoes back on, did a quick mini-douche just in case things went beyond the blow job he requested, put on my coat, and walked to his place.

He answered the door naked, with his dick hard, extending a solid 7.5" cut inches in front of him. Right above the cock was a pretty good set of lean abs, leading up to a small but cut chest, and a cute face. His hair was dark and close-cropped, he had brown eyes, and he sported a full day's worth of stubble. HOT!

We whispered hellos, shook hands (which always strikes me as odd - shaking hands while naked), and headed to his bedroom. He had a southern accent, so while I took off my coat, we did the small talk thing, figuring out a little about the humans inside the lust-driven bodies that were about to take control of the situation. I almost laughed when he told me his name, because he shared a name with the leading male character in a very famous novel/film set in the south. It was almost too much of a cliche.

Having accomplished the small talk he expertly ripped my clothes off and threw me on top of his comforter. He knelt on the bed, straddling my chest, and pushed his dickhead against my lips. I licked it, nibbled with my lips and tongue down the side, and then started in on a big, wet, vigorous blowjob. He tensed up, held my head still and brought himself down from the edge of cumming. Then he slowly pushed his cock all the way back into my throat, bottoming out with his balls against my chin. In and out slowly for a minute, then he savagely throatfucked me for a bit. I started to lose patience for that and made the nonverbal moves to take control.

That's when he pulled out, kissed down my chest and abs, and started sucking my cock. I was pretty hard at this point, still worked up from the twink and now this cutie. To my surprise, he then started licking my hole and roughing it up a little with his scruff. Also to my surprise, it was a spectacular sensation, even though it was prickly and uncomfortable.

He came back up to kiss me. I didn't bother resisting and made out passionately with him - sucking his tongue into my mouth, feeding him my own, roughing up my own face against his day-old beard. His hand moved down my leg, slowly lifting one leg as part of a smooth extension of the making-out process. Without missing a beat, his index finger - somehow already slick with lube! - was in my hole. Behind my head, I heard a little squirting sound as he returned his hand to lube up his other fingers, and first two then three digits were inside me.

This guy was amazingly smooth!

With a gentle change of position, he was able to get his cock lubed and point it directly at my hole. This was all while kissing like frantic teenagers (albeit teenagers with mad skills). He eased up on the kissing a little, and pressed the bare head of his cock against my ass. Gently, almost imperceptibly - he eased the tip into me.

Oh, so this is happening, I thought to myself. Neither of us listed status in the ad, so I assumed we both were positive. I was surprised that he'd just jump right to bareback, but that seems to be the default setting for sex in New York City these days.

"You want to grab a condom?" I asked him.

"I just want to pop the head in for a second," he replied. I stifled a laugh and decided to play the little game for him.

"Ok. But just the head, ok?"

"I promise," he replied. He had never stopped easing into me. By this time the whole head was inside my ass, and the first inch of the shaft, too. He kept kissing me, tickling my neck with his tongue, caressing me.

He pushed deeper and deeper and deeper. I pretended to feel behind me in surprise. About 2/3 was in me.

"Hey, you've got more than the head in, dude," I said gently.

"Oh, sorry, I got too carried away!" he said. He withdrew out to the head, paused for a second, and then fucked slowly - very, very slowly - back into me to the same depth. He retreated again, saying, "Sorry."

Kiss.

"Sorry."

Lick. And pushed back in.

"Sorry."

Kiss.

"Just a..." deep breath, "little bit longer, I promise."

"Ok," I said, pretending to be reserved.

He started to gently and smoothly fuck in and out in long, expert motions. He bottomed out with his balls against the outside of my hole, and he held himself there for a second. The pressure against my prostate was superbly awesome and his thick shaft made me feel full. He retreated again, almost to the head. Then SLOWLY all the way back in. (Looking back, he was obviously trying not to shoot right away, as he had been saving up for such a long time.)

Out again, then a smooth reversal and all the way in.

"Oh, yeah, this feels so good. Thank you," he said. "I hardly ever do this!" Lick.

I stifled another laugh. With skills like that, he had a lot of experience!

"Me neither," I lied along with him.

He started fucking faster and faster. "Oh this is so fucking good. Thanks for letting me try this..."

"Just don't cum in me," I pretended to plead.

"No, I promise!" he said.

He had been on top of me, looking down at me. He rolled me gently onto my side, in one smooth movement, almost without missing a fuckstroke.

He kissed the back of my neck. His stubble pricked my skin and his strong, hairy forearm encircled my neck. He pulled back slightly and it was almost like he was going to start restricting my airflow. It scared me a little, but he eased up.

"Of fuck, this is good," he sighed into my ear.

He withdrew all the way, rolled me onto my back again, and quickly was balls deep, with a sideways wiggle after bottoming out. He held it there for a second, pulled all the way out, slammed all the way in, and then started pummeling the hell out of my ass.

"Remember to pull out when you - " I said, hoping he'd ignore my faux-testations, of course.

"UGD!!!!!!!!!!!" he grunted. His fucking slowed back down to the slow pace. "Gah!" His forehead muscles furrowed deeply as he kept slowly fucking in and out, in and out, gentle and smooth and shooting injection after injection of cum up my ass. All the while, he kept sighing and grunting. "Unh! Unh! Unh! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck..................."

He didn't stop. He just kept cumming and cumming and cumming and cumming, for at least 30 seconds, and that's no exaggeration. I started shooting spontaneously from the extreme arousal his extended orgasm caused me, so then I started jerking my cock to get even more enjoyment out of it.

Finally he just lay there, sweating on my skin. "That was so hot. I'm so sorry, I didn't know I was going to cum right then. It had been five days. I'm sorry."

I just kissed him roughly in response, pulling his hair and then flinging his face away. "Just don't let it happen again." He grabbed my hair, kissed me with almost dangerous violence, and said, "Oh yeah?" There was a fired-up twinkle in his eyes, like he understood for the first time that there was no need to pretend with me.

What was already one of the hottest nights of my life was probably about to get MUCH more exciting and interesting, but just then his room mate's bedroom door opened and really loud, elephant-like footsteps passed by and into the bathroom.

"Shitfuck," he said in his gentle southern drawl. "She's awake."

"It sounds like she weighs 300 pounds!" I noted. This struck him as absolutely hilarious and he got a bad case of the giggles that refused to go away and - sadly - deflated his dick.

"That's how she walks when she wants me to quiet down. If you could see her, she weighs about as much as my pinky. Anyway. I should sleep."

With that, I got dressed. When his room mate went back to bed, Southerner gave me a quick peck and a gentle ass slap to send me on my way. I went home and jerked off again to the memory of what had just happened.

That was several months ago. I've never seen him on Manhunt again. I saw him on 8th Ave. the other day, and there was no flicker of recognition. But if you are an attractive young dude with a southern literary name and this sounds familiar - I'd sure like a repeat, sexy!

And for everyone else - keep on reading for more tales of the naughty shenanigans I've been waiting to fill you in on. Thanks for coming back!

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So, as you know, I've been away a while. I took an hour and a half to recreate one of the hottest experiences of my life for you, and fucking suck-ass Blogger somehow managed to lose the whole fucking thing. NOT happy. NOT HAPPY AT ALL.

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So, I was able to recreate the lost post more or less as before... glad I kept good notes of all these events! Scroll down to the Manhunt story to get caught up.

Anyone have a proposed mission for me, now that I'm back in the game? I'm going to keep sharing to get you caught up, but I'm also back in the saddle (or out of the saddle, given this blog's focus). So if there's something you'd LOVE me to do and then write about it, leave it as a comment here!

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I went to G Lounge the Saturday night after Southern boy spermed my ass beyond anyone's wildest dreams. This was during a little period of unemployment I had during that part of the year, so I was being conservative with my spending and wasn't drinking much. Conversely, the people I had gone with were absolutely wasted by about 1 AM, leaving me alone as they went to have sex.

I noticed a small commotion and glanced over to see a tall, absolutely gorgeous guy turning heads as he walked across the room. He had blue eyes, dark/sandy hair, and one of the most perfect faces I've ever seen.

He got a drink, and came to stand alone near me. Now, if you've been to G, you know that it basically consists of a round bar area, and you sort of stand along the edge feeling awkward and trying to feel/look attractive. He had no problem pulling off the pose, but he definitely looked as uncomfortable as I felt.

I'm an attractive guy and I get my share of really cute people, but no one this gorgeous had happened across my bed before, so I had no sexual expectations for the encounter. Even so, I was nervous. I swallowed hard and walked over.

"Hey, you know the time?" I cringed internally at my weak opening line. He told me.

"Getting late!" I exclaimed. "You here with friends?"

"No," he replied. "You?"

"I was, but they left to have sex," I said with the most charming shrug I could muster. He laughed and I began to relax. He told me his name - for here, I'll call him "Jerry."

We went on to really get along and hit it off, and the conversation moved to the area of boys and such. Then, out of the blue, he turned to face me, and leaned down to kiss me. We made out right there in the bar for a few seconds. He was a really good kisser.

"Ok, we got that out of the way," he said with a laugh. I noticed that we had gathered a bit of an audience - or, more accurately, he had probably gathered a bit of an audience. Seriously, the guy should either do porn or something where he can make money from his beauty.

We talked a bit more, and then were interrupted by a girl who came up and said, "So, I just want you to know that you are fiiiiiiiiine." He laughed and said, "Thank you."

She continued: "My friend over there thinks you're really hot and he wants you to stop by and say hi." I glanced over. Her friend was a Chelsea boy in a muscle t-shirt, with perfect hair, etc. He looked a little embarrassed, but he was much more the kind of guy I would have thought Jerry would go for.

Jerry put his arm around me and said, "Tell him he's really cute too but I think I'm all set for tonight." That earned Jerry huge good-guy cred with me forever.

When she left, he said, "Why don't we get out of here?"

He didn't have to ask me twice. We hopped in a cab and headed to his apartment, which we had to do because he had houseguests arriving in the early morning. It was waaaaay uptown (Columbia area - so on top of being drop-dead gorgeous, this asshole was also Ivy League... the bastard).

In the cab we made out the whole way. I resisted the urge to move my hands below the waist.

When we got to his place, it was definitely a student apartment - small, with not much furniture, mostly decorated with unframed posters. We talked and drank a little more. The HIV disclosure went well, then he led me to his bed.

We kissed in the dark, and then the clothes started coming off. He said, "I want to see you in the light," and turned on the lamp on his night stand.

Then he dropped his jeans, and I was stunned by what was probably the biggest dick I've seen with my own eyes. It was easily 9.5 inches, really thick, and straining against his boxers. My surprise must have registered ambiguously on my face:

"Oh, I know," he said. "Ugh. Every time I meet a cute boy, I'm wearing the stupidest underwear!"

"I don't think anyone's mind focuses on the underwear... that's... HUGE!" I replied.

He laughed and squeezed it through the fabric. "Yeah, it's pretty big."

"Well, if you don't like this underwear, we'd better get you out of it," I said, in my best sexy voice. This prompted - laughter.

"You are such a dork," he said, dropping the underwear and kissing me again. By this time I was naked too and our boners pressed against each other. I was much shorter both in height and in penis-length, and his dick reached well past my belly button. To my delight, he was uncut. I couldn't help but imagine it inside me.

I dropped to my knees and swallowed as much as I could of the monster dick, giving him the most passionate blowjob I may have ever given outside a relationship. His precum was notably flavorless, which I kind of liked - and he precame a lot.

His bed was really low to the ground, so I got up onto my feet and slowly led him backwards while continuing to suck him like crazy. Then I knelt on the bed, licked his balls for a while, and jerked his cock using his precum as lube. He was a groaner and had a hard time keeping his voice down, which turned me on even more.

Soon he pushed me on my back and gave me a very good blowjob for a few minutes. I noticed he was jerking his own cock, keeping it nice and hard. With all that precum, it glistened in the light from the bedside lamp.

Then we made out some more and rolled around on the bed for a while. He ended up on his back and I went back to slobbering all over his dick.

He pulled me up to kiss him, and given his height I found that his dick was pointed right at my hole. While kissing him, I started to massage his head into my ass, feeling the foreskin start to pull back.

"You can get a condom if you want," I told him. He responded by pushing into me from below and groaning.

"No condom," he said.

I was beginning to get quite used to the fact that guys often don't care about condoms if they're topping, so I just let it happen and was glad to feel it.

I had a difficult time taking such a big, thick cock, but I took it. It was a good thing he pumped out so much precum, as it really slicked up the head well. He was kind of a herky-jerky top, fucking me kind of raggedly and unevenly... and it worked really well for us.

It started to hurt, so I asked him if he had any lube. He responded by putting me on my back, spitting in his hand, and sticking the glistening monster back in, only about two inches deep. He fucked rapidly for about a minute, just in and out a few inches, and finally he started almost yelling.

"OH!! OH MAN!! OH FUCK MAN I'M SO CLOSE!!!"

The moment when a guy cums in me is the most exciting moment during sex for me and as you may have noticed I try to time my orgasm to that moment. This was no different. His orgasm shook him violently, and he grunted like a bodybuilder as he started to shoot: "UH!!! UH!!!!" His face contorted, and I gripped the back of his neck and kissed his forehead firmly as I jerked myself over the edge and shot a load all over my chest.

We cleaned up and went to sleep.

A couple hours later, his buzzer rang and he went to let the houseguests in. They went right to bed in the living room and he came back to me. We cuddled some, and then he got hard again and I jerked him off again. As he got close, he said, "I want to cum in you again. Can I?"

I nodded yes. My ass was a little sore from the athletic fuck he had unleashed on me before with that beast, but this would be too great to pass up. I lifted my leg and he popped the head in just in time to very quietly grunt and groan while he creamed me again.

In the morning, we became Facebook friends and we hang out every so often even now. We had sex one more time, months later, but it felt weird for some reason, so now we're just friends without benefits. I do secretly hope to not only watch him seed a hot bottom someday, but to have a repeat again!

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