norefusal
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all clothing is uncomfortable if sized improperly. but in my case "uncomfortable" doesn't = painful. i just have never gotten used to the floss up my butt crack, permanent wedgie feel. i also don't like if the top wants to fuck w it on. it just gets in the way and gets messy. different strokes for different folks
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i used to think exactly like this. but in recent years i've learned to enjoy exploring new things and giving things a chance. pros: damn my booty pops in a good thong. it's like a miracle bra for your butt the guys who love it, love it and that triggers the whole i get pleasure from giving pleasure dynamic cons: they're so fucking uncomfortable you can basically only wear them to turn a guy on and then thankfully they pull them off you. i could never wear them as real underwear. mostly they're only good for photoshoots theyre just not me. i feel much more at home in a jock but then we get into the whole curating your sex life automatically limits the number of partners and while most guys default to a quality over quantity lifestyle, i'm currently feeling my ill fuck anyone and everyone oats so why put a red velvet rope up at the door to only let in certain types
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i've never been in this situation because for me when things go wrong it is primarily due to the emotions and not the sex. my first attempt at a OR went south not because we were fucking other guys but because my BF increasingly started making them the priority over me. they were easy and didn't expect emotions from him like i did. my second attempt was probably too little too late w my ex husband. i was happy when he agreed to open things up but once the suggestion by a hook up that we do a 3 way repulsed me i realized that i was way more angry w my husband then i even realized and that the relationship was damaged way beyond "im bored w monogamy".
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attracting tops as a straight-looking man...
norefusal replied to profwhtforhung's topic in General Discussion
two pieces of advice come to mind: 1. try to accept that it might not even be about you. cruising areas always have a % of nervous guys who are either newbies or jaded and feel something about you reminds them of the cop who did arrest them in this very spot last year 2. lean in and work it. if you give off a str8 cop vibe, most gays will be on you like flies on shit. work that porn rollplay angle and they'll be nice to officer friendly before you make them do "hard time" 😈 -
to me this is 3 separate things. crabs came first but to me that's not an sti/std as i once got them from sleeping shirtless between the sheets in a "no-tell motel" 😜plus anything you easily Rid yourself of w over the counter stuff is not the same thing imo also, it's kinda a blast from the past for me. years ago when i was a newly out youngster freshly moved to a gay metropolis sleeping w tons of other guys in the same situation like a bunch of kids w a new toy it's no wonder we just seemed to be spreading the same craps over and over again amongst ourselves as it was in retrospect a "small" group of young horny just out guys and degree of separation between us was a lot less than 6! 😜 it took over a decade before my first sti chlamydia - but that was a direct result of "condom fatigue" and the increased risks i was taking w frequent BB sex. it's a whole other ballpark imo from the seriousness of the illness, to the more intrusive cure, to the having to go "public" w the news and make a dr apt and talk face to face w someone etc vs a quick trip to walgreens w jackie o shades on. 😜 still neg but this really is a whole nother ballpark imo vs chlamydia which was 10 days of pills and then like it never even happened. there's no do over w hiv. whenever people bring up the negative effect of regular prep usage i say "yeah. you know what else really fucks your body up too? hiv" there's no such thing as free lunch, just personal choices
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it's the law of burt backarak 😜 "what do you get when you kiss a guy? you get enough germs to catch pneumonia. then when you do, he'll never phone ya!"
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slightly off topic but i don't know how coincidental getting sick after a hook up is. i know i often feel mild or vague "i think im coming down w something" illness particularly after a busy weekend w multiple partners. logically, sex is dirty and especially since most of the guys i do it with are as slutty as i am, it's no surprise some germs got swapped. i'm not talking sti or hiv but stick 6 random piss sticks in your mouth at the eagle and it's not rocket science that some bacteria may have made a home in your throat.
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Did you allowed "repugnant" tops to cum deep inside you?
norefusal replied to markedmucosa's topic in General Discussion
it all gets a bit meta 😜if like me, you're turned on by repugnant guys, then they're not really repugnant anymore 🤣 there's this one guy that hangs out at the eagle, i usually see him during quieter hrs, and i know that people, especially the staff, dislike him so there must be a story there. i suspect he's homeless and hits people up for cash. he's short, older, got a barrel chest/belly and barely speaks english but he's got a massive uncut dick i can't ever say no to. not that he would take no for an answer anyways as he's persistently dom w me and i've lost track of the times he's bred me in the backroom or toilet. sure, the side eye i get from others afterward is a shame thrill but how can i call him repugnant if im a norefusal hoe for his homeless hog destroying my hole as the highlight of my evening 😜 -
BBRT is definitely "dated" and in need of a refresh for better user interface. that being said, i find that a separate issue from success rate of hookups. in my experience the main problem w niche sites like recon and bbrt is distance. apparently i live in the vanilla sex capital of the world (i dont believe that but have yet to figure out why the local kink scene is so undercover) and having to cross state lines for a hook up gets old fast. at least IME bbrt has hookups. i was on recon for 2 years and never got anywhere past chats. another issue imo is that sites change focus and tone over years. i've always had a soft spot for the interface of scruff but i have noticed it's gotten far more vanilla "dating app" over the last couple of years - getting rid of a lot of the headless torso look for a face pic centric out gay look and getting rid of the search feature. and don't get me started on grindr - talk about taking a great idea and slowly ruining it!
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after 4+ decades of sex i'm almost the complete opposite
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One Partner Undetectable, One on Prep, HIV Risk?
norefusal replied to MascTop's topic in HIV Risk & Risk Reduction
most infections come w fevers. this could be anything from a bug bite to hiv from someone else. either way, this is what dr. visits r for: likely answers and suggested solutions. but if he's on prep he's probably getting regularly tested so the truth will out soon enough. either way, if you're U it's highly unlikely u infected him. long story short: you're acting responsibly: taking your meds and breeding guys who say they r on prep. anything more seems like belts and suspenders to me. -
this + that luckily the good outnumber the bad or else why would we even keep trying 😜 but i'd had plenty of experience under my belt before the apps, and then like my first dozen online hookups were each a disaster in their own way and i almost gave up. but then the good hook ups started happening. oddly, the better the guy sound online the worse the hook up and some of the best sex i've ever had is showing up blind to do god only knows what at some guy w a blank profile's hotel room and "mystery date!" a total hunk answers the door and proceeds to rock my world 🤣
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insect story = incestuous bugchasing ? it certainly exists in in fiction section here!
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it's frustrating to me that guys in 2025 still talk like it's 1995. a guy on scruff recently asked me if i played safe. wtf. i responded "im on prep and doxy so fuck raw as it's safe" i used to pull out upon request back in 90s, even though i was neg, just because i knew what it was like to panic and spend weeks worrying "what if he was lying" but that was back when hiv was still spreading frequently but anyone who spends more than a day on here knows, chasers can't find gifters for love or money. almost everyone is either neg on prep or u=u and in this day and age of free prep and morning after type meds, a grown man not protecting himself and then getting last minute cold feet about being bred is just a drama queen. i think black robe is probably right, he may just been rollplaying
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i know a few couples that one left to be with one of the random "guest stars" from a 3way. all of them describe their previously relationships as flawed or unhappy so my takeaway is you can't break up a happy home. i myself had a somewhat similar but different experience and all i can say is this 3rd party saw a crack in our foundation and took the opportunity to drive a wedge in. is he an evil queen? yes. but was our marriage perfect at the time he showed up? no. for all i know he just speed up the inevitable. in my case it was more a riff over drug use than sex. today im sober and my ex last i heard was homeless and wanted by the police. so.... i guess my advice is be more worried about chem sex than open relationships
