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BootmanLA

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Everything posted by BootmanLA

  1. BootmanLA
    That last sentence hits on the issue for some tops: they don't want to participate in a gangbang precisely because they don't like a loaded hole. They want a clean hole that's not too slick, and no amount of coaxing is likely to change their minds. That's not to praise or condemn them; it's just what they like. I had a relationship with a guy who not only used condoms but would freak out at the slightest bit of bodily waste that got on him, even if just on the condom. (He was also the sort who took 2 showers every day and washed his hands probably half a dozen times in addition to when he used the bathroom, etc.)
  2. BootmanLA
    Unless it's in a very out-of-the-way place known for tolerating some degree of public sex, all of the suggestions you have are screaming for a public indecency rap, which in some places is a felony. And the more mainstream the location, the bigger the offense - not legally, but in the sense that people who just want to go to the bathroom in peace don't want to see someone bent over a commode with their pants down, or masturbating at a urinal, or whatever. I get that some people's disordered sense of sexuality requires taking ever-greater risks and committing ever-greater offenses against public morality but I'm not sure this is the place to encourage ways to achieve that. That said, I'm sure there will be plenty of people who will respond how hot this is and with suggestions on how to make it happen, just like there are people who will applaud cheating spouses.
  3. BootmanLA
    I can't speak to your infraction, but as Viking explained, each type of offense gets a certain number of warning points, which generally expire after a certain period of time (though there are exceptions, I assume for serious offenses). If that number of points is high enough (ie a more severe infraction, like posting Backroom content outside the Backroom), OR you have a total combined number of unexpired points with the newly levied ones, then you get a penalty. If you have only ever had one "incident" (which your post seems to indicate), then it may well have been a serious one that generates a penalty on the spot. Viking's explanation, above, may clarify things for you.
  4. BootmanLA
    Important to remember: just because you rise from <25-level undetectable to 111-level (which is still untransmissible territory, and which used to be within the realm of "undetectable" before more accurate tests were devised) does not mean your viral level will stay there. It can go up or down (as noted, in part because of interactions with other meds, etc.) so the more important thing is to keep monitoring the trend line. If viral load continues to rise, test after test, then there's cause for concern. But a one-time level "up" like that is not.
  5. BootmanLA
    Words have meaning, even if the meaning is inconvenient. Cheating means breaking the rules. So if your serious girlfriend at any given time doesn't mind you having sex with someone else - male or female - then it's not breaking the rules, and you're not cheating. But if a relationship partner DOES mind, and you've agreed to be monogamous, and you have sex with someone else, then that's cheating. Whether it's "too good not to" is kind of irrelevant.
  6. BootmanLA
    You don't say you're looking for advice, but here's some anyway. Coming out by getting someone to expose you as a cocksucker to a girlfriend (who, I might note, is unlikely to be in this forum and thus people here are unlikely to be able to contact her) sounds like a nice fapping fantasy but it's totally impractical. And that's before considering the damage beyond "outing" you that she could wreak in your life.
  7. BootmanLA
    So, just curious, why don't you negotiate an open relationship? More directly: it seems like you never try for an open relationship. Why not? It's one thing to want random loads, but it's coming across (to me at least) that you want to deliberately transgress the rules while you do so.
  8. BootmanLA
    That's like saying "I don't agree with air". Intersectionality exists, whether you see it or believe it is meaningful. DEI doesn't provide "equal remedy to everyone". In fact, one of the points of DEI is to enlighten those with privilege, power, or authority about the (varied) experiences of different marginalized groups and find the best ways to address each - which may well be different in different cases. Now, DEI can certainly be done poorly, no question about it. But to dismiss DEI, broadly speaking, because it's not always done well, or because, in your words, you "personally observed in the workplace" poorly handled DEI, is no different than a white guy saying that he's seen a black man managing a company with lots of white employees so there's no such thing as discrimination. That said, I'm not going to tell you that you should advocate for all groups equally, even those to which you belong. You get to choose the battles you want to fight. But to jump from that to "DEI is useless" is a leap Jackie Joyner-Kersee couldn't cross on her best day.
  9. BootmanLA
    I am certainly not saying this isn't true, but I wonder if it's less true for "drive" than it is for "opportunity". Despite decades of women's liberation and general societal changes, women are still looked down on for being promiscuous while men are quietly or not so quietly lauded for the same. Plus, for gay men: many of us "know" we're gay from an age where we aren't yet even having sex, but many of those same gay men don't "accept" it or come out about it until after we've actually had sex with a man and figured out that it's for us. That sex, therefore, is often "hookup" in nature, rather than the beginning of a relationship, and so gay men usually have some "hookup" experience at the outset (and become accustomed to casual sex easily). Straight men don't have to come out, or "figure out" that they're straight, because everyone assumes they're straight from the start, and society is organized in a way to support that assumption. So while there may be just as much "drive", they don't have to experiment to find out if straight sex is really for them. Certainly young straight guys are usually eager to have sex, but I suspect that after many years of conditioning that women aren't going to put out easily (again, broadly speaking), and knowing that if they push for it too soon, it's likely to end any chance of it happening, I suspect straight men are just trained not to let their sex drive out to play as readily as gay men are.
  10. BootmanLA
    Indeed.
  11. BootmanLA
    But the point of BB sex in real life, and the point of BB sex in porn, are not the same. In real life, yeah, tops want to cum inside usually, and bottoms usually let them. In porn, viewers often want to see proof of cumming, and that requires pulling out to shoot. Realistically, if the top stays in to breed, unless there's a camera recording the pulsing of the top's cock (if it even shows at all), then there's no way to know whether the top actually orgasmed, or just faked cumming by pushing deep and grunting or groaning in the process.
  12. BootmanLA
    I would have assumed by your presence on this board that you are also a member of another group - presumably, bi or gay men - who also have faced rampant discrimination in the workplace. Of course, you don't mention whether you're out or not, which can make a huge difference. If you're not out, and you're conventionally masculine enough to "pass" for straight, then it's possible your membership in this second group hasn't affected you, just like very light-skinned black people who could "pass" as Hispanic or otherwise didn't always directly experience racism against their race (except, of course, when divulging race was required for legal purposes, like registering to vote, etc.). But I don't think being able to "pass" ought to be a determinant of whether one cares about discrimination, particular discrimination that would be levied against oneself if it were publicly known. And I'll note that while racial discrimination still occurs, it's very clearly NOT allowed, legally, in all sorts of situations. On the other hand, discrimination against gay people is still not barred, nationally; it's prohibited in employment, now, but the Supreme Court has been carving out "religious exemptions" on the basis of sexual orientation repeatedly in the last few years. It's quite possible that they'd do the same if a housing discrimination case reached them, for example. By contrast, the Supreme Court has expressly held that there is no religious freedom exemption that allows for racial discrimination, period.
  13. BootmanLA
    That to me sounds like a failure of the people who run the businesses and operations that need DEI in the first place. One of the reasons that "cottage industry" exists is that such offices are always looking for a cheap way out, instead of doing the hard work needed to actually implement real diversity in the workplace and to ensure that opportunity isn't unwittingly only passed on to "those like me".
  14. BootmanLA
    A left or right side armband would convey that message, most likely, and almost certainly is within whatever dress code there might be for any area in the joint.
  15. BootmanLA
    It's probably helpful to clarify a few terms. Properly speaking, a sauna is a room (not an entire facility) which is heated well above standard room temps. In many places the term is limited to "dry" heat - ones where there's no extra humidity pumped in, and "wet" heat - that is, rooms where there's lots of moisture in the heat - spaces are called "steam rooms". The latter are more common, in part because the clouds of steam can obscure some "activity" in the room and provide plausible deniability if someone complains about behavior there. Saunas and steam rooms are not infrequently facilities in "legitimate" health clubs/gyms, but that doesn't mean some fondling/masturbation/sex never occurs there. It may, if the gym is heavily gay, for instance. In a more generic sense, "sauna" is often used to mean "bathhouse," wherein "bathhouse" has zero to do with bathing and everything to do with public or semi-public sex. There may or may not be a steam room or dry sauna as part of the "sauna" facility. That distinction is important because what you can do in the latter - a public sex facility labeled "sauna" may be very different from a sauna in a health club.
  16. BootmanLA
    OK. But without an example, I (or RawTop, or the moderators) would have no way to evaluate whether the rules need clarifying, or whether they're clear but just being overlooked or ignored at times. Certainly your choice.
  17. BootmanLA
    If you mean limiting yourself to things other than the very small handful of forbidden topics, that's what we all should be doing. Those are literally the rules we agree to when we sign on here.
  18. BootmanLA
    I think that kind of proves my point. When ordinary people adopt the tactics of the military evaluating an enemy - or our hyper-militarized police treating other citizens as "the enemy" - with respect to social encounters, I think that's kind of pathological,
  19. BootmanLA
    To expand on Marlin's answer above: Assuming by "snipped" you mean a vasectomy, yes, it's still possible for an infectious HIV+ man who's had one to infect someone else. HIV is found in bodily fluids; it's not restricted to being inside particular kinds of cells (like sperm cells). It uses cells for replication, but otherwise the viral particles exist in the fluids (including semen, which is produced in the prostate and seminal vesicles). Because semen production is "downstream" from the testicles (where sperm are produced), ejaculate can contain HIV even if no sperm are entering the seminal pathway upstream.
  20. BootmanLA
    and The sense I'm getting from your posts about this - and please, correct me if I'm wrong - is that the only people who should be helped by DEI programs are Black people. I'm not going to pretend that other discriminated-against groups faced the intensity of the discrimination that Black people have in this country. But the reason we have (or had, at any rate) DEI programs was to approach discrimination holistically: to help everyone that the traditional power structure (overwhelmingly straight, white, Anglo-European, male, Christian) had discriminated against. That includes not just Black people (who, again, definitely had it worst), but also women (including white women), LGBT people (including white ones), Hispanic/Latino/Asian people (including many who identify as white) and non-Christians (including white-identifying Jews, Muslims, and other faiths, as well as those of no faith at all). Diversity doesn't just mean a larger number of Blacks among Whites. It also means diversity of gender, diversity of ethnic origin, diversity of faith, diversity of sexual orientation, and so forth. Now, we can argue how much of a DEI program should be focused on, say, Muslim students vs. Black students, and (again) in a nation where the worst discrimination for centuries was faced by Black people (most descended from people who were forcibly brought here), perhaps that's where the biggest effort should be made. But that's a determination to be made by the institution with the DEI policy and program, taking into account the experiences of all they seek to help.
  21. BootmanLA
    Absolutely there is. And posting in the wrong area only rises to the level of an infraction when the post is absolutely restricted to a particular area, like chasing posts and PnP posts are confined to the Backroom. In other words, if someone simply makes a mistake and creates a topic about the best way to give blow jobs in the Bareback Porn forum, instead of the General Discussion forum, the mods are simply going to move the topic and (likely) notify the poster. If someone posts about shooting crystal meth or seeking out poz tops to be converted in an area outside the Backroom, that's going to get sanctioned. Appropriately so.
  22. BootmanLA
    Bear in mind there are three kinds of chats on Telegram - ordinary 1 to 1 chats, group chats, and secret chats. Only "secret chats" are end-to-end encrypted.
  23. BootmanLA
    One thing that occurs to me is that given the well-known effects of suppressing libido that a lot of antidepressants, etc. can have, and the increasingly widespread acceptance of mental health concerns, and getting those treated, there may be some interplay at work there. Not for everyone, of course, but...
  24. BootmanLA
    As have I. And upon reflection I've always come to the conclusion that the moderators were correct. I might not have thought so in the heat of the moment, but afterwards - sure. I also realize I don't know what penalties may have been levied against anyone who might have goaded me into posting something I shouldn't have.
  25. BootmanLA
    "I'm didn't read what you wrote but I'm sure going to comment about it!"

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