bbm4matl

Author’s note: The characters in this story have had their names changed and some of the details altered, for reasons of privacy. It is indeed a small gay world. IT’S A SMALL, SMALL (GAY) WORLD A couple of years after moving to LA, a job opportunity brought me back to another large east coast city, completely unattached. I was still healthy with a normal T-cell count, but my doctor in LA said my viral load was quite high. He didn’t recommend starting meds yet, which were just beginning to be more tolerable and much less toxic. Before the iPhone and all the hookup apps, there were hookup websites that sprung up in the early days of the internet, just before the sun set on gay bars as we knew them. Eugene and I met on one of these early gay websites. He lived in the suburbs, but he worked near where I lived. He told me he was recently divorced from a woman, but he’d been having sex with men since college. I told him I was looking for uncomplicated sex and probably not looking for a relationship. We decided to hook up because Eugene was sexy, said he liked morning sex, and he could swing by my place before work. On the appointed morning, I remembered that I needed to tell Eugene I was positive with a high viral load and that we would use condoms. He rang my apartment, and I buzzed him in. Eugene was very well hung, probably 8 inches cut. We kissed and had good chemistry in person, so we took it to the bedroom. We quickly stripped and I started sucking his big cock. He made me gag which was impressive, because I had very little reflex left. I pushed him down on the bed and shoved his legs back and started eating his smooth ass. He had the most delicious ass, and I lost myself while rimming him. My tongue encircled his pussy lips, and he opened right up to let me explore his insides. Eugene was moaning and finally, he pulled me up on top of him and wrapped his legs around my waist as we kissed. My cock was bumping up around his crack trying to find its target. Eugene was still moaning as my cock brushed past his hole without entering. Finally, he could take no more teasing and reached down and pointed my cockhead to his hole. I slid in him with ease and was balls deep. His pussy was well-worn, in a good way. I started pumping him, making sure that my cock head was stimulating his prostate and his cock responded by leaking precum until it was a small pool on his abs. Finally, he groaned and shot his load. I panicked because things got carried away and I hadn’t worn a condom. So, I pulled-out of him and he looked disappointed. “Suck me off,” I ordered him urgently. He swallowed my cock, and I shot my load down his throat. “Why didn’t you cum in me?” he asked. “Because” I explained, “I’m positive. But I’m a big pre-cummer so you may need to get tested.” “Oh, I’m poz too. In fact, I have AIDS,” he replied. I told him he looked completely fit and healthy. He explained to me that he had not even known he was positive but became very sick about two years before and it turned out to be an opportunistic infection. He had less than 100 T-cells left when his doctor put him on some medications that were very new, and they saved his life. But because he crossed some medical threshold, he was still considered to have AIDS. He said that he was dating a guy at the time he was diagnosed. He thought they were exclusive with each other, but apparently, they weren’t. They parted in an unfriendly way. So, we continued having casual sex over the next few months. Eugene was a versatile bottom, and he fucked me very well. After that first time, we didn’t hesitate to cum in each other. Eugene was the first guy who asked me to “breed” him using that term, which made me laugh. We fucked other guys too and occasionally caught other STDs, but we always told each other. Friends with benefits, indeed. I met another guy on my internet hunts called Steven. Steven was a cute Italian American guy about my size with dark brown hair and blue eyes. We met up at a café one afternoon and decided to follow up with a fuck date. I met him at his apartment. He had a very thick cock that curved upward. When I saw that, I told him I wanted to feel it inside me. He looked at me with lust and we went to his bedroom. We undressed each other while making out. Our cocks were both hard as hell. Then I told him I was positive. He pushed me on my back and kissed me. Then, he moved down to my chest and licked and nibbled my nipples. Eventually, he went lower but skipped my cock and went straight to my ass with his tongue. There was a bottle of poppers on the bed, and I huffed a bit. Steven took that opportunity to spit on his cock and put that big mushroom head up to my hole. I took another hit, and he pushed into me. I saw stars as his big cock filled my hole and his cockhead brushed past my prostate. About five minutes later, I came without touching my cock. Steven was still piston-fucking me and several minutes after that, he grunted and painted my insides with his babies. He too became a friend with benefits. Eugene had a more outgoing personality than Steven, and he liked to talk a lot. Steven was not very talkative and was just in it to get off, which was cool with me. I only topped Steven a few times and he also urged me to “breed” him when I shot a load. Steven was 90% top, and I really enjoyed it when we met for a quicky. I would suck him while he ate my ass, and then he would fuck me and cum and then leave. Sometimes it’s better to keep sex casual. Steven went to an infectious disease doctor because he was healthy but still considered to have AIDS. One day, he had to cancel one of our meetings because he said one of his kids had gotten into a fender-bender. She was OK but shaken. I told him I understood. It was the first thing I knew about Steven as a person rather than just a fuck buddy. Next time when I visited him for cock, he mentioned that he’d been divorced a few years and had discovered that he was positive after a former boyfriend came down with an AIDS-related infection. They’d had a bitter breakup because the boyfriend thought they were an exclusive couple. Steven wanted the boyfriend to be exclusively his, but Steven was having sex whenever possible with whomever showed him their ass. It was clear to me they either communicated badly or were dishonest or a little of both. Hooking up with exes at the same time was a potential recipe for drama. It was also clear to me that their dispute with each other was not my business or my problem. As long as I was single and clear about my intentions, I enjoyed having both their bodies to play with. I lost touch with Steven, and I don't know what became of him. Eugene eventually partnered up with another guy and he seemed happy to me. We played a few times after he settled down but eventually, he and his partner moved away. Eugene and I occasionally exchange emails.

The guy I think about when I wrote about Brian - no, never.

Author’s note: This chapter is a departure from the others because the character “Brian” is a mixture of guys I ran into during my time in Southern California who had similar qualities and behaviors. This chapter was difficult to write and for better or worse, I decided to take this road. LaLa Land Los Angeles in the late 1980s was never a place I imagined myself living in, but here I was. It was not so much an escape from the East Coast as it was a change of scenery, perhaps the turning of the page to a new chapter. Emotionally, I felt bruised and bloodied, but not defeated. I was born stubborn. But at that time, I thought new people, new job, new scene, agreeable weather, with an occasional shake to keep things interesting. You know, "shaken, not stirred." Dan’s death was the final impetus for that change I’d been contemplating. When he told me he was ill, he never spelled it out, nor did he need to. His partner Kieran followed him with “cancer” shortly before his 30th birthday. About a year prior, my doctor insisted that I finally submit to an HIV test. He began to require that all his gay patients be tested. He was tired of seeing his patients dropping like flies, and he wanted to see the day that this was no longer the case. He treated all the STDs I regularly picked up through random sex, so it was a surprise to no-one when the test showed that I was indeed positive. He remarked that my vital signs continued to be extremely strong, and I commented that I felt normal and healthy, and I hadn’t ever been truly sick. He told me that there were some promising medications to treat HIV/AIDS that were hopefully coming in the very near future. He counseled me that the experimental drugs current being tested on people were toxic to many (all) patients. Like all other gay city guys, I knew men who tried to choke down handfuls of pills to buy another day of life. My doctor recommended that I delay starting any meds and that my vitals continue to be monitored. He urged that I use condoms with each and every sexual encounter, blah, blah, blah. In my short life as a gay man, I’d dated some guys exclusively, others casually, and I’d had both anonymous sex with strangers as well as with friends and guys I knew quite well. I started to look at sex as “living for the moment” with good reason. But I intended to be responsible and do my part to avoid spreading further disease. I had no idea how long I had been HIV positive, who I contracted it from, whom I had given it to. Fast forward about a year and I was still the picture of health as I started a new chapter in LA. There are so many exceptionally beautiful people in LA trying to get into “the industry” as Angelenos call it. Of course, LA throughout its history has always been crawling with gays. Where I lived at the time, the Mid-Wilshire district was no exception. One morning I was running late for a meeting, and I drove into the garage of the office building. As I walked to the elevator lobby, a very handsome guy my age held the door open for me. Our eyes locked as I said thanks. He was about 6 feet tall to my 5 feet 10 inches, he had brown puppy-dog eyes and somewhat long brown hair to my blue eyes and short dirty blond hair. Of course he was as fit as fuck. The next day at lunch time, I went to one of the sandwich shops in the lobby of the building and I saw him again. As he walked toward the outdoor patio to have his lunch, he looked up and I smiled at him. “May I join you?” I asked. His name was Brian, and he worked a few floors away from me for a talent agency. He lived in West Hollywood (WeHo), but his father was in the military and so he’d grown-up all over. We exchanged numbers and I asked him out for a drink that Saturday night. We met at a WeHo bar and chatted about our experiences since moving to LA, our jobs, and of course sex. Later on, we walked on to another bar for a change of scenery. Brian held the door for me, and we walked into one of the seedier gay bars I could remember. I don't remember the name of the place, which probably closed long ago and has since been gentrified. Brian led me to the back room of the bar which was especially dark because my eyes hadn’t adjusted. We entered a kind of privacy stall with a door, and he started kissing me passionately. He unzipped my jeans and pulled out my rock-hard cock and started sucking me. I hadn’t realized that this was going to be that kind of date, but my cock and Brian’s mouth were in control now. I’d just shaved my ball-sack and manscaped before our date. Brian was able to take both my large hairless nuts into his mouth simultaneously and he looked up at me with those puppy-dog eyes. I pulled my sack from his mouth and pointed my cock to his lips, and he parted them and took my cockhead all the way to the very back of his throat. After a time, I groaned, “Brian, you’re getting me very close.” He started mouth-fucking my cock fast and furiously. I felt my nuts contract as I started feeding my load to him. He swallowed, licked his lips and smiled at me. He stood up and we kissed for quite a long time: two queer men alone together in the middle of a crowded gay bar dark room. Finally, I turned Brian around so his back was against my chest. I pushed up his shirt and licked from his neck down his bare skin along his spine which made him shudder. I savored the saltiness of the slight sweatiness of his spine. I got down to the waist of his jeans, but before I could do anything, he dropped his jeans from his muscular ass and down to his knees. He was wearing a jockstrap, the slut! I buried my face between his lightly hairy ass cheeks. I breathed in his essence as my tongue began to explore his tight pucker. As I pushed my tongue up into him, I heard Brian huffing a brown bottle he must have grabbed from his jeans before he dropped them. His hole relaxed and opened up for me like an Easter flower. He reached back and pulled my face deeper between his glorious ass cheeks and at that moment, I never wanted to be anywhere else. He was moaning as I rimmed him and he finally gasped, “I want you inside, Dave.” I stood up and rubbed my cock so it was lodged lengthwise along his hairy crack. He bent over to give me easy access, and I teased his hole. I reached down to my jeans pocket and grabbed a condom and a little packet of lube. “Put it on me,” I instructed Brian as I handed it to him. He tossed the rubber on the floor as he opened the lube packet with his teeth and then spread some on his hole and fingered some inside. Then he reached back and placed my cock head at his pucker and he pushed back. My cock slid into him, and I eventually bottomed out in him with my balls against his taint. A choice had been made. I fucked him hard, and our sex noises blended with those of all the other guys who were fucking in similar cubicles or just out in the open in the darkroom. Finally, I came in him and I rested my body on top of his. Eventually, my softening cock plopped out of his hole along with some of my babies that dripped onto the floor. We went back to my place and jumped into bed. Brian road my cock cowboy style as I reached around and pinched his nipples and then let another load loose in him as he shot all over his abs. The next morning with the sun coming over the horizon, I looked down into his eyes as he looked up at me with his ankles on my shoulders. I really came to love Brian and we tried to have a real relationship, but it just didn’t seem to work for us. We were better off as fuck friends than boyfriends. That was a dynamic that followed me with all the guys I met in LA. Was it them or was it me?

HITCHED Within three years, I finished my master’s degree and was a couple of years into moving up the ladder with a firm in a large east coast city. Bob started a very successful business, also in a northeastern city. Bob and I visited each other a few times a year because we were an hour train ride away. He brought a different girlfriend with him each time we visited, but he finally found a nice Italian girl from Brooklyn, and they seemed to be well-suited. I didn’t know if he still had sex with guys on the side, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Dan continued to be a globe-trotter at the agency and was starting to learn the management side of the business. Due to his schedule, I didn’t see Dan as often as I saw Bob. I started seeing a therapist to deal with the trauma of seeing so many friends and guys I knew die young. Like all my contemporaries, I never grew accustomed to young death. And like some of them, I didn’t know if I was a ticking time. Looking back, I think I just assumed I was. I also discussed this with a couple of my closest friends, but never with my old college roommates. So far, I was the vision of a healthy young gay man, as were they. But I started to use condoms, most of the time. I wasn't ready to face taking a test and waiting weeks for the results. Much to his father’s chagrin, Dan’s career prevented him from ever finishing his undergraduate degree and continuing onto law school. But Dan was by far the smartest of my friends and he invested his considerable income in real estate in Manhattan, Harlem and Brooklyn long before prices skyrocketed. Dan was never into the drug scene in college, and he stayed out of the drug culture that pervaded the fashion industry. At 28, he was even wealthier than his old man, who was the managing partner of his Wall Street law firm. Dan invited Bob and me to the civil ceremony between him and his boyfriend, Kieran, who owned the construction company that did all the renovations to Dan’s investments. Dan was always muscular and lean, but I noticed he was particularly lean at the wedding and he’d been training for a marathon.. He was always the peacock among my friends. Dan’s twin sister, Liz, attended, but Dan’s parents did not. They were devout Irish-Catholics, but Dan was their only son, after all. I loved Liz and we got along like a riot. She was smart like Dan, but funny, out-going and razor-tongued compared to Dan’s relative introversion. In fact, Liz knew I was gay before I did. She outed me to myself when she visited Dan when we were still in college. She was surprised I was deceiving myself and told me I needed to get over that fast. Dan and Kieran had a party at a ballroom in the midtown hotel after the civil ceremony. The out-of-town guests seemed to all be staying at the hotel. But Bob and his girlfriend were staying with her parents in Brooklyn, far away from temptation. I had a couple of drinks and started talking to one of Dan’s friends from the industry. His name was Axel, and he was blond, blue-eyed and more muscular than the typical male fashion model. He was from Hamburg but had a small flat in Paris when he wasn’t working a runway or a fashion shoot. He was incredibly out of my league and I didn't know why he was even talking to me. While we chatted, I reached behind him and grabbed one of his muscular buttocks. He asked me if I wanted to join him for a drink in his room and we left the reception. In his room, we continued to kiss, as we tore each other’s clothes off. I pushed him back on his bed and got on top of him as we continued to kiss. Axel had a great veiny uncut cock, and I eventually licked my way down to it and pulled the hood back as I went down on him. He pulled me up to him and took his hooded cock and docked with my circumcised dick, our precum mixing under his hood. I pushed his legs back and he pulled them to his chest as I licked his beautiful hairy crack and hole. He made it wink at me, and I said, “I’ve got to get inside you right now.” He had some condoms, lube and a little brown bottle on the nightstand and I reached for them. I handed him the poppers then I ripped open the condom and squirted some lube on my cock. Axel huffed the poppers as I pushed my sheathed head into his hole and slowly slid all the way into him. I was a couple of strokes in and Axel pushed me out of his ass and said, “David, I want to feel you inside of me. I hate condoms,” as he pulled the condom off my cock. I didn’t waste a second before entering him naturally, although I knew better. I started fucking Axel hard and his hooded cock was leaking precum profusely. “I’ll pull out before I cum,” I said to him. He shook his “no” and held up the bottle to my nose as I huffed. With my head swimming I started to rail Axel’s beautiful pussy as then I came hard inside of him. We fucked each other much of the night when one of us would wake up horny. The next morning I woke up with Axel sliding his cock balls-deep, "Time to get up David." I returned home the later that day and the day after that, I felt that “pissing razorblades” feeling of gonorrhea.

Autumn in Milan Bob and I arrived back at the apartment on the same weekend after our summer internships ended. I joked with Bob and asked him how much drama he created during his summer. “Bro, you have no idea. I’m glad I could leave it all behind,” and he pulled me in for a deep kiss as he groped my ass. “I missed you, smart ass.” We ended up in bed and after he fucked my brains out, and then we relaxed there for a while, just catching up on each others exploits over the summer. “When is Dan getting back?” Bob asked. “I talked with him on Wednesday while he was at Laguardia. He said he’d be back in the apartment on Monday. He said he’d just landed and that he had big news, but he was being mysterious and wouldn’t spill any details. So, we’ll find out then,” I replied. Class didn’t start for a week, and I was determined to get back into my routine. On Monday afternoon, I just returned from the gym and opened the door, and Dan was in the kitchen and Bob was taking a shower. “Hey man, how was your summer?” I asked Dan as I leaned in and we shared a big kiss. Dan replied, “It was incredible. I can’t wait to tell you guys.” Just then Bob opened the bathroom door and walked out in all his otter glory in just his white briefs. “Tell us what?” “Ah, just in time,” Dan said. “You know I told you I had some interviews in Manhattan with a couple of modeling agencies? Well, I blew off my internship because three of them wanted to put me under contract. I had my dad look at the contracts and I signed with one of the agencies. I spent the summer working in Milan, Paris and Munich.” Bob and I sat in stunned silence. Then, he and I both hooted and hollered and I got three beers out of the fridge for us to celebrate. Dan continued, “I’m going to delay coming back to finish my degree because the agency lined work up for me for the next few months. Plus, I need to prepare more before taking the LSAT. At least, that was the argument I made with my dad for postponing school. He has visions of me joining his firm after law school.” Bob and I rolled our eyes because we’d met Dan’s father a few times and he was intense. “I’m sharing a tiny apartment in Brooklyn with 5 other guys who are also with the agency.” I said, “So you won’t be living with us, then. This sounds like the chance of a lifetime. When do you have to go back?” Dan said, “Well, I’m packing up my clothes and leaving tomorrow morning. Bob and I were sad that our little menage a trois was breaking up prematurely, but we were excited for Dan. Dan and I started that evening in his bed kissing and cuddling. I licked his nips and arm pits and nibbled all over him as he wrapped his legs around the small of my back. The agency Hair & Makeup gays had shaved his chest hair off so longer had a treasure trail, but I continued down to his cock and took his head straight down my throat and savored his precum. I moved on to his beautiful ass and pushed his knees up to his pecs, then I began feasting on his ass. “Dave, I really missed how you eat my hole,” Dan moaned. I was fucking him with my tongue which always put him into a frenzy. Eventually, I penetrated his tight hole and fucked him rough and sweaty, just the way he and I always did. I jacked Dan’s cock, rubbing the precum that was streaming out of it and feeding it to him and then to myself. I locked eyes with him as I groaned and picked up the pace and finally shot my load into him. I stayed in him as I jacked him to orgasm and greedily ate his load all by myself. During the night, I remember my cock entering his ass a couple of times as I woke up with my arms around him. The next morning, we awoke the way we began the night before…kissing and cuddling. For the last time.

731 Our junior year (third year) at university came to a close and the three of us roommates decided to stay together for the upcoming fourth year. We got along well, and we enjoyed the convenience of being able to satisfy sexual needs without leaving home. With Dan and me, it was purely physical enjoyment of each other’s bodies. He was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen and he was entertaining thoughts of becoming a model and had a trip planned over the summer to go to Manhattan because some agencies expressed interest. But with Bob and me, it started to become a little more. Bob and I started to catch movies together at the university union and then go out for pizza and then home to sleep together. We enjoyed being with each other and I found Bob’s scent to be irresistible. But Bob still dated and slept with women. He left of trail of broken hearts and irate co-eds. After briefly feeling a bit hurt and jealous, I saw our situation for what it was. I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted from a “boyfriend”, but I knew Bob was even more hyper-sexual than I was, and that we probably wanted different things out of life. I knew he wanted kids someday. At the end of my third year, I met with my college career counselor. He had advised me at the end of the second year that I should consider going to graduate school to get a master’s degree and he had given me suggestions about schools to submit my applications. At our year-end meeting, he asked me if I had made decisions. I replied that I had narrowed it down to two large universities and that I scored very well on the standardized exams for my area of study. He gave me suggestions, and we parted for the summer break. At that moment, it truly struck me that life was moving on and I was moving along with it – that my comfy living arrangement would end in the next year and I would be moving somewhere where I would have to make new friends. Bob, Dan and I all had summer internships in large cities, but we would return to the apartment in mid-August. My internship flew by, and I enjoyed it, but everyone in the company was married with children or older. The apartment the company arranged was in a sketchy part of town. The large university in town was in the outer suburbs and not easy to access without a car, plus, it was summer break. So, I tried to meet people in dive bars in my area, but these were creepy places for the most part. I was exploring at the edge of the neighborhood one Saturday early evening in late July, when I saw a muscular guy in his 40s or 50s wearing some kind of leather pants over a pair of worn-out jeans and a tight black shirt walking in front of me. I thought he must be sweating like a pig with those leather pants. He disappeared into a building just ahead of me. There was no storefront or sign on the building, but there was a black door with just oversized address numbers on it: 731. I tried the door, and fortunately it was unlocked, and I could hear the beat of music coming from stairs which lead to a basement – maybe an underground dance club? I walked down the steps and there was a booth with a dude inside and a paper sign on the booth window that just said “$7”. I figured it was a cover charge. The guy said, “If you want a locker and lock, it’s $2 more.” And I handed him $9 and pushed a towel and lock toward me. He buzzed me in, and the place had a similar vibe as the Auroura Book and Video Store, but different. There were small lockers lining the walls of a room and there was an older guy in a jockstrap who locked me over and then grabbed his towel and walked through another doorway. I knew this was no dance club, and I quickly peeled my clothes off and stowed them in the locker and quickly wrapped the towel around my waist. The music was coming from speakers in the next room and there were some guys at the bar drinking beer. The variety of men went from leather muscle studs to very skinny middle-aged guys, to grandfathers with pudgy guts, and everything in between. I just turned 22 and was the youngest guy here by ten years. I noticed that there were condom dispensers on the wall, and I grabbed one and walked from the bar into a hallway. For no good reason, I had a fantasy that only big cities were suffering from the plague; not small northeastern college towns and certainly not athletic and masculine guys like my roommates and me. We had never used them with each other. We didn’t see the need. Plus, President Reagan never mentioned it, so how bad could it be? But being in the big city meant that I should be cautious. I walked into a dark hallway with gloryhole booths lining the walls and continued to the next room. The room was dimly lit and there were leather hammock-like things hanging from the ceiling beams by chains and some guys were getting fucked by other guys. I also noticed a padded bench and there was a muscle man in crotch-less leather pants and black leather boots who was strapped securely face down on it and getting fucked by another muscle stud; the guy strapped down had a leather hood over his eyes and nose and was sucking off a guy with a huge cock. Two or three others were watching this and probably waiting for their turns. There was also a bench like a weight-lifting bench and a shoeshine chair, but no one was using these. On the other side of the room was a swinging door, and I walked through. It was pitch black and hot and smelled like sweat and sex. I could hear other men, but I couldn’t see anything. I found a wall and felt my way along it. Then, I bumped into someone else. The first thing I felt was a hand on my pecs and my abs, and then he moved to my dick. I felt back and the guy was very muscular and well-built and a bit taller than me. He kissed me and I kissed back. Then he moved to my nipple and started licking and nibbling it. My cock was rock hard. He licked down my treasure trail to my cock and took me deep down his throat. He grabbed my ass cheeks and made me fuck his face while he rubbed his finger around my pucker. Finally, he released my cock, and I could feel his back and my cock was planted in his hairy crack. Then, he pointed my cock to his pucker and reached back and pulled me toward him until my cock head breached his ring. Bare. “Man, I don’t have a condom on!” I panic-whispered in his ear. He said back, “No problem, dude, I’m clean.” Hesitant at first, I plunged ahead and started fucking the guy. He also felt like he was pre-lubed because I slid into him with no friction. He was moaning like a bitch in heat, and we were both sweating. The pounding he was getting from me attracted some other invisible men who were fondling both of us. I felt a very hairy pot belly against my back trying to mount my hole and I pushed him away. Time seemed to fly, and suddenly I realized I was going to cum in this unseen stranger without a condom. “I’m gonna cum,” I said, and he pulled me deep inside of him. It was the first time I shot my load in another guy since the last time I fucked Dan in late May. The guy pulled off my cock and was gone. My cock was slick with cum. I grabbed a cup of water from the bar and then went to the gloryhole booths to collect myself and cool down. I berated myself for not insisting on a condom, but the guy said he was clean. But really, how could he know? Before I could obsess about it, a big bush and a circumcised cock came through the hole, and I reached out. I licked from the shaved balls up to the tip of his head, a solid eight inches. Having Dan and Bob as my coaches had made me into a very good cocksucker. Before, Dan said blowjobs never got him off, but I could make him cum with just my mouth. I gave him great head for about 10 minutes, then the guy was breathing hard and he pulled his cock out of the hole. “Show me that hole, boy,” he said. He was probably about 45 or 50 years old with a brown beard and moustache and very handsome. My ass needed to be rimmed badly. So, I turned around and put my ass up against the gloryhole. I felt his breath and then his first lick and then he licked my slightly hairy crack. I was in heaven. He tried to push an unlubricated index finger into my pucker, but I was tight and didn’t want to open for him. He went back to rimming me and then he tried to finger me again with something that felt like Vaseline. He rubbed it around my tight little hole, and I felt a slight pleasant tingling sensation. He kept licking my ass cheeks while he worked magic with his finger. I couldn’t resist any more and I unlocked my hole and let him push that finger into me. He took more goo and pushed it in me. Then I heard him stand up and I knew what was next. I still had the unused condom, and I tore the package open. As he put his cock up to the hole, I wrapped the condom onto his pole and turned around and pointed it toward my moisturized asshole. He slowly pushed in as I pushed my ass back against the wall. Finally, he was balls-deep and started to thrust. God, I needed cock so badly! He was pounding away at me, and I had two or three anal orgasms. My cock was dripping pre-cum profusely. Finally, he grunted and held his cock in me. As he pulled out, I felt cum dripping out of me. I looked around and saw him pulling the remnants of a shredded, cum-soaked condom off his cock. He dropped it on the floor and walked out of the booth.

Epiphany “Hey Bob. That was so fucking hot! Put your cock through the hole - I want to lick the cum off your piss hole,” I said. There was a string of cum still hanging off Bob’s cock. He gave me a dubious look and stepped up to the hole and I eagerly took his fat, flaccid cock into my mouth and scrubbed it with my tongue. Then I said, “Turn around. I want to see your asshole.” He gave me his infamous evil grin and turned around and I reached through the hole and stuck a finger up his ass which he wasn’t expecting, and he moaned. Then I put my finger in my mouth and savored the hot cum that the black dude left in Bob. “Dave, you’ve become quite a pig. I hadn’t realized.” He put his ass firm against the gloryhole. I sniffed it and it smelled like cum and sweat. I put my face in to the gloryhole and his cheeks folded over my face. I started rimming Bob and he spread his cheeks wide as I started lapping the cum up that was leaking from his hole. The smell was intoxicating, and it still makes me hard to think about it today. Looking back on this, it was a piggy thing that was totally out of character for me, but I was high on sex, and Bob helped unleash it. I embraced it. Bob was pushing back against the wall trying to feed me more of his ass and my face was deep in his ass cheeks. I unbuckled my jeans and as I dropped them the belt buckle made a noisy clang on the floor of the booth. He stayed still against the gloryhole knowing what I was going to do before I did. I stood up and put my mushroom head up to his asshole and easily pushed in. His asshole was wet and warm and pretty loose for a “100% top man”. There were some handles in the booth for getting a good grip, which came in handy because I was pounding Bob hard and he was making a lot of noise. Through all the racket, I could hear him huffing on his poppers. After about ten minutes of all-out fucking, I grunted and held my hips hard against the wall as I shot about eight ropes of cum into my roommate. I told Bob to clean off my cock and he turned around and licked my cock clean. Then, he backed up to the gloryhole and I ate all the cum from him. He put his face to the gloryhole and we kissed through it, snowballing a salty, gooey, sexy kiss. He licked up all the sex fluids that lingered on my face after felching him. “I’ve had enough of this place, Dave, he said. “Let’s go then,” I replied. We exited the booths and there were several men gathered around, and we shuffled past them. I was a bit embarrassed because we stank of ass and cum. But I doubt Bob was. He later told me that this wasn’t his first time at the rodeo. “Why did you tell me you only topped guys, Bob?” I asked. “It’s probably a hang-up. You know, an Italian, macho bullshit thing,” he replied. “Bob, we’re buddies and you can be what you want to be around me. I don’t think any less of you because you like to get fucked. It actually makes me even hornier for you. And it’s just between you and me.” Thanks man, he said. He had his afternoon class, but when he got back to the apartment after his class, we fucked each other and fell asleep until we heard the apartment door close when Dan got in from class.

Glory Be Life at the apartment went on as it always had, except Dan was getting fucked by me multiple times a week and probably the same by Bob. I say “probably” because the three of us never had a three-way, and I’m only guessing that Bob was fucking him because of the times I arrived home hearing Dan getting railed by Bob in one of their bedrooms. The only one of us who ever used condoms was Bob, because he was still having sex with at least a couple of women and he didn’t want to fuck up his life by getting one of them pregnant and having one of them use it to force him into some kind of arrangement. It's not like we could get pregnant and the full weight of the simmering epidemic wasn’t something I thought of ever. But that was not a problem for us because I was exclusively sexually gay only with Bob and Dan, and I assumed that they were only sexually gay with me, even though Bob seemed to have sex with more than his share of women. One day, I was running an errand off-campus on a fringe part of downtown. I thought I saw Bob ahead of me and I shouted for him, but he was too far away to hear me with the street traffic. Then I saw him walk into a store front I had not seen before, “The Aurora Book and Video Store”. I was nosy, so I walked in to check it out. I was shocked because I didn’t know this kind of shop existed. Along one wall were all kinds of porn magazines and books. Gay, straight and anything you could imagine. They also sold VHS tapes of porn movies as well as dildos and other sex toys that seemed very expensive to me. There were other men in the shop. I noticed that some of them were wandering through a curtained doorway, which made me curious. I followed one of them in. It was a dark hallway with doors on either side, and I could hear both women and men making sex noises. What the fuck! I opened one of the doors and looked inside, then entered. There was a small TV screen showing a porn video with a small stool against the wall and a small sliding bolt to keep the door closed. There was a machine where you could feed in coins to keep the porno running. Then I head someone say, “Hey, psst!” I jumped in shock and a bit of horror, and I noticed a hole in the wall and some white dude running his finger along it. What the fuck? I responded, “Hey? What’s up?” The voice said, “Come here. I want to suck your cock.” I faced the hole in the wall and the arm reached through and unzipped my jeans and undid the button. I dropped my jeans, and his hand caressed my cock and nuts through my underwear which made me get hard. He put his mouth up to the hole and hung his tongue out and I dropped my underwear and put my cock on his tongue. My hips were right up to the wall as he took my rock-hard cock into his mouth and started to give me the best blow job I ever had so far. I didn’t even know what the guy looked like. After about five minutes, I started breathing like I was going to cum and he grabbed my hairy nuts and pulled them hard, which hurt a little and made me ease off on nutting. Finally about five minutes later, he let go of my balls and I immediately unloaded them into his mouth. He kept licking my cock head until I was oversensitive and I pulled it back. I was recovering from nutting when I heard the door close on the other side. The cocksucker was gone. I decided to check out another booth where it sounded like a guy was getting fucked. This booth was completely dark because the video had run out of coins. I looked through the hole and I saw my roommate Bob in the next booth, completely nude with his ass up against a hole on the opposite side of the booth. An enormously thick black cock was pounding Bob's ass. Bob’s cock was hard as a rock and swinging up and down with the rhythm of his fucker. Bob was bracing himself against the wall where my booth was, but he had not yet noticed the hole I was looking through. I was instantly hard again and I knew I wanted to eventually fuck Bob. Bob told me when we first started fucking that he only topped – he didn’t get fucked, so I was surprised. I didn’t know how Bob was able to take such a thick pole up his hole, but he was enjoying it because he shot his load without ever touching his cock just as the other guy was cumming in him. Once Bob came down from his sex high, he noticed me looking through the hole at him. He exclaimed, “What the fuck, Dave.”

On Thursday, I was horny all day and I needed to get fucked. So I went to one of the gay saunas in Montreal and rented a room. I dimmed the light a bit and positioned myself on all fours with my back arched. I got my first load from a hot Quebecois bear who loved having his nuts worked on. Then I hit the dark room and got fucked by a couple of guys there. From there, I occupied a gloryhole booth and took a number of cocks. In about three hours I probably got fucked by ten guys, sucked them all and got three or four loads.

BOB Clearly, Dan prepared himself before I fucked him. It was not random thing that just happened naturally. I was glad he did it because I would never have been brave enough to initiate it. As the academic term intensified, my life became busier: class, gym or run, part-time job, study, and sleep. For a few days, my roommates and I were never home at the same time. However, I caught news of one of Bob’s exploits. Liz, one of my friends who also knew Bob, told me that Bob’s girlfriend found out that he was fucking at least one other woman and she had a shit fit and made a scene at a party. Bob was known to be a bit of a pussy hound. A day or two later when I finally saw Bob at the apartment, he was still in a sad mood, and he told me all about the breakup. I gave him my sympathy and a little ribbing about him thinking with his little head too much. “I know,” he said, “but it’s just how I am.” On Friday evening, some friends invited me to go to a bar with them. Even though it had been a long week and I was tired, I went along but only for a couple of beers. The bar was hopping but I was exhausted and by 10 pm, I was over it, so I walked back to the apartment. As soon as I walked into apartment I could hear someone having sex. I tiptoed toward my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting whichever guy was getting his nut. I had to walk past Bob’s dimly lit room, and the door was open. I couldn’t help but to glance in as I passed the door, and I saw Bob lying on his back, and Dan was straddling him and riding his big fat cock with his back toward me. Bob saw me and gave me an evil grin as he cupped Dan’s butt cheeks in both hands. I continued to my room and quietly closed my door, noting that Bob was indeed an otter and he was hung. I could still hear Bob’s bed springs squeaking, and this went on for another 10 minutes, then I heard someone (probably Bob) loudly cumming. Then everything got quiet. I didn’t know what to think. I was starting to realize I was more gay than bi, I knew Dan was at least bi, but I had never thought of Bob as being anything more than 100% straight. It dawned on me when I got into bed that my cock had been hard since I walked into the apartment, so I jacked off and shot a load all over my chest thinking about my two studly roomies fucking in the next room. The next morning, Dan was gone because he had to be at his part time job by 9 am. Bob was having some cereal as I said good morning. “What have you got going today?” asked Bob. I told him I was free until a 2:00 project meeting in the library. I looked outside and said that it was a beautiful autumn day for a run. Bob asked if he could tag along and I said of course. Bob quickly changed into his running shoes, a plain T and sweat pants and I did the same. This is how Bob looked at age 21 when we went for our first run together. I knew some beautifully wooded trails that were away from traffic, and we jogged over there. “You know that Dan told me you and he are fucking around a bit,” Bob stated. I quickly recovered from being outed. “Oh, he did, did he?” I replied. “Yeah. He and I have been playing around since we were roommates in the dorm during freshman year. I love to fuck him. He told me he enjoyed you giving him your bone and he tried to get you pregnant too. He said he popped your cherry,” Bob laughed. I asked Bob if he ever got fucked and he told me he was a top only. “Damn, it’s getting hot,” as he peeled his shirt off. “I’m familiar with this area and I know a cool trail. Follow me,” he said. I followed him deeper into the woods and after five minutes he stopped. “I need you to suck my cock now,” he said as he looked into my eyes and pushed my left shoulder down. I licked his nipples and then down his treasure trail. Now on my knees, I pulled down his sweatpants and his cock was tenting his white high school Bike jockstrap. I released his cock from its prison, and I gasped at the size. It was not circumcised. I’d never seen a white guy with an uncut cock. I licked the head and lapped up some pre-cum that had pooled where his head barely poked out of the soft skin hood – it was delicious. Bob was about 7 inches hard, but the girth was considerable. I tried to take the shaft down my throat, but my throat was slamming shut by reflex. The Bob held the same little brown bottle Dan used on me under my nostril and commanded me to huff, and then he repeated. He gently fucked his cock into my mouth until my nose was against his black pubes. Then he picked up the pace. My hands clasped his muscular glutes. Without any warning, Bob forced his cock down my throat and held my head there as he shot load after load into me. I couldn’t breathe and started to panic, but he was finished and released his grip. I gasped for air as I realized that none of his cum had lingered in my mouth and his sperm was all now in my stomach. “You have plenty of time before your group meeting later. Let’s go back to the apartment and get cleaned up. I want to test drive that hot ass,” he chuckled. “Race ya!” and I tore off back up the trail.

After our hookup (although I don’t think we referred to it with that word at the time), I had a flood of different thoughts that I considered the following weeks. I realized that I was physically attracted to Dan, but I didn’t feel any emotional attachment to him like I had with some of the girls I dated. But I had enjoyed it. Hell, I fucking loved it. Whenever I thought about it, I got hard as steel. Maybe I was just horny and needed to get off? No, that wasn’t quite it. Also, Dan and I didn’t talk about it, but I don’t think we acted weirdly when we were around each other, thankfully. So, life went on for the next week like nothing happened. Then the following Saturday night, I went to one of the local college bars with some buddies, but one of my friends got wasted doing jagerbombs, so I made sure he got home in one piece, but it was only 11 pm. I decided to go back to the apartment, and I could see from the street that lights were on inside. I unlocked the door, but no one was around, so I turned on the TV. Bob was staying at a new girl’s place this weekend (without his current girlfriend knowing about it). About 15 minutes later, Dan walked in the door with a 6-pack and a small brown bag which he threw to me. “Hey, what’s up?” I said as I caught the bag and looked inside. “I bought you something and I want you to use it right now,” he said. It was a fleet enema. “What the fuck is this for?” I exclaimed. He replied, “It’s for you to clean out.” Ah…for some stupid reason, I had not thought about why Dan’s ass was completely clean when I fucked him…and now (I supposed) he wanted to fuck me. OK, I was open to trying it. “Any special instructions?” I asked. “No. Just do it while you shower and make sure the water runs out of you completely clear and clean for a few purges. And don’t rush it,” he replied. A few purges? OK. I had never had an enema before, and I certainly did not want to embarrass myself. The shower and clean-out took longer than I expected. But I finally finished and walked to Dan’s room, and he was laying on the bed with his 7-inch cock standing straight up. I dropped my towel and bent over him, and we kissed. Then, he told me to 69 with him. We were sucking each other’s cocks for about five minutes when he released my cock from his mouth. I felt his tongue flicking around my butt crack and then he flicked his tongue on my pucker. The next thing I knew, his tongue was invading my hole, and he was pulling my ass cheeks apart. I let out an involuntary moan of pleasure. It was shocking what he was doing and it was surprising how great this felt, and I tried to keep focusing on giving Dan head. He was fucking my ass with his tongue, and my cock was leaking copious amounts of pre-cum onto his chiseled chest. I didn't want this tongue-lashing to stop. Then Dan told me to lay face down on the bed. He got a bottle of baby oil from his bedside table and rubbed some into my ass. He took and finger and pried open my asshole as I struggled against it in pain. “Relax! Just like to song goes. And breathe deeply,” he said. Finally, he got a finger in, and I stopped whimpering. “I think we’re going to need a little help,” he said. Again, he reached over and opened a drawer of the bedside table and took out a little brown bottle. “I’m going to hold this under your nose, and you breathe the fumes in as deeply as you can and count to 10 and then I’ll do the other nostril, OK?” So, with his hard cock lodged in my ass crack and his cock head poking right against my hole, Dan introduced me to the wonderful world of poppers. I was flying high as he quickly pushed his cock into me and of course it hurt. I took the bottle from him and huffed more until it started to feel better and then it began to feel amazing. Dan told me to lay on my back, then he lifted my feet to his chest and put his cock into me again. He told me to hit the poppers, and he started pounding my ass. In about five minutes he said, “Man I’m gonna cum. FUCK!” With several grunts, he slammed into me, and I felt his cock twitch as he finished crushing my anal cherry. As Dan came down from his orgasm, I could feel his heart beating through his cock which was still inside me, and his sperm was swimming inside me looking in vain for eggs to fertilize.