JakeTurner

I'll be in Mexico City for a week in January (4th to 11th). Wanna take loads. Which bathhouses/saunas/clubs/backrooms will be best for a 50-something gringo daddy? (And advice on best times?)

My totals so far this year… Asses Fucked: 9 Load Given: 4 Dicks Taken: 19 Loads Received: 15 (+2 from condoms) (Asses and dicks can count more than once if not in the same fuck session) I'd like to get my totals this year up to 50 loads given and 200 loads received. I'm not too far off that so far, so just need to keep at it.

10 loads up my ass (including 2 from condoms I pushed up there) and one given. Now to keep it up.

My load count for the past few years has been really horrible. Sadly it’s been single digits (per year!) since 2018. 2015-2018 it was triple digits. The past 3 years I can kinda blame on COVID, but it’s more than that. Fall if 2017 I did the week in Key West where I left my Truvada in NYC (intentionally) and took as many loads as possible. That started a “am I sure I want to be doing this?” phase which lasted a while. Then COVID happened. Needless to say I want to get back up to triple digits. Problem was my year started with a lot of family stuff. But I was hoping things would change when I went to SF and stayed with some piggy friends. But then I was reading that the SF bars don’t have much sex going on. First night out at Powerhouse was a bust. I just wasn’t attracting anyone I was remotely interested in and not all that much was going on. Second night was a Castro bar crawl. I don’t think any of the bars had stuff going on though. But 3rd time is a charm. The last. Igor we went to the Eagle and they had a dark room set up. For the first hour (plus) that we were there no one was doing much of anything in the back room but then there was a burst of activity and I was in the right place at the right time. The first guy to fuck me was this (~) late 20s guy with bleach blond hair who looked a bit LA. Not completely my type, but definitely good enough. He blew a load in my ass. Then a title holder from a small(ish) gay bar (not in SF) fucked me, but didn’t breed me. I noticed I was REALLy sloppy afterwards which means the first guy blew a nice big load 😁 A really cute guy wanted to fuck me but he was walking around with a condom on, so I said no. There was a lull in activity in the back room so I took a break. When I returned a little later some guys were fucking so I jacked my dick watching them and then let a cocksucker blow me. I got hard and wanted to fuck, but the bottom was busy with other tops. Then the first guy who fucked me started fucking me again which put me in bottom mode and my dick went soft. A couple of bottoms wanted me to fuck them but I wasn’t hard enough. I did rim 2-3 guys. Unfortunately none of them seemed to have loads in them. At that point I went into bottom mode and was sucking whatever random dick was shoved in my face while guys fucked me. Some other guy I can’t remember (cause I didn’t really see much of him since I was bent over sucking random cocks) fucked me, but didn’t cum Then another cock was shoved in my ass and after a bit it was pretty clear he blew his load while he was in me. When he pulled out I noticed he had a condom on with a big load in it, so I pulled off the condom. I was trying to get the load out of the condom and up my ass when the next guy wanted to fuck, so I bent over and took his dick. He then blew his load and again I found he was wearing a condom. I started to pull his condom off and he didn’t understand why. The other condom top told him I was collecting loads so he gave me the condom. At which point I pushed both loads up my ass. Then there was this guy with a gorgeous dick with a mushroom head. Thankfully he fucked me raw but he didn’t cum. When he pulled out a hot, 30-something slightly muscled bear (with tattoos) started fucking me. After a bit he asked if he could come in me and I said “please do!” and he proceeded to blow his load. Then the first guy fucked me a second time. It wasn’t long before I could feel his dick pulsing as he shot his load up my ass. So that’s 3 proper loads, plus two “indirect” condom loads, plus 2 guys who didn’t cum. Needless to say I was on cloud nine. It felt SO GOOD to get back to being a cumdump. The best part is none of that made me think I should be taking PrEP. I’m now completely comfortable with the risk. In fact it would make me really happy if I got pozzed in a scene like that.

Well, I'm still testing neg (last test was 3 weeks ago) - not that I've been taking all that many loads. My main concern lately is that I've had a bunch of trips this year. There was one around July 1st, then another early August, then one in early October, and then over Thanksgiving. And coming up there's a 2 week trip around New Year's / early January. So, doing the math… if I got pozzed fuck flu could have messed up one of the trips. I'm just too much of a control freak to let that happen. BUT, after the trip in early January there's nothing until probably April, so my New Year's resolution is to take a lot of loads starting around New Years and focus on situations and people where I'm most likely to get pozzed. The January trip is to California - so should have some decent opportunities to get take some poz loads to get the ball rolling. There is one top here in NYC who apparently is toxic and wants to poz me, but he's also into other STIs. I just wanna get pozzed. The other stuff is a major turn-off. The other complication has been work and other "life" stuff keeping me busy. Not to mention at the end of the day I'm more likely to want to have a drink and take it easy than go out. Part of that is pandemic habits which I need to break, but the other part is just growing older and not having unlimited energy for sex. But mentally I'm definitely "there". I want this and and I want it bad and basically have zero reservations about it. I've worked through whether this is some form of self harm that I should be worried about, or whether it's due to depression or something - it's not. The risk of becoming poz has turned me on for nearly 30 years. And about 10 years ago I had come to the conclusion to just let it happen – but then PrEP came out and I figured it would be easier / less complicated to stay neg. That didn't last long though - a few years later I started gradually taking less and less of my PrEP until I finally stopped. Then there were a couple years of not much sex as I examined what in the hell I was doing, and then just when I was getting ready to take real risk the pandemic hit. So now the desire to be poz has grown and it needs to happen. So much so I might even let the toxic top here in NYC breed me - even if it involves other STIs… The next few weeks I'll probably focus on topping, but once I'm on the trip to CA I'm gonna need poz cock and loads in my ass!

As others said, there is no cure. But there are meds that will reduce the frequency of outbreaks (if taken daily), or shorten the period of symptoms. My physician has me take 2 grams (2 x 1000 mg) of Valacyclovir twice a day when I have an outbreak. I do that for 2-3 days and I'm over it. My outbreaks are pretty rare, so it doesn't make sense for me to take it daily (if I did it would be 1 gram a day).

Unfortunately, it's probably MPOX. There are a fair number of breakthrough cases. The fact that you're vaccinated will most likely make it a mild case. Let us know how it progresses…

@Kinkybreed - Having had MPX, it looks like it to me. Make sure you keep everything very sterile. The really bad shit happens when the lesions get a bacterial infection. The other issue is pain management. If it gets bad, contact a doctor or clinic for pain meds. You may also want to look into getting on Techovirimat - the antiviral for MPX.

Just wondering if any of you can give good pointers for where a beefy white American daddy like me can get loads in Madrid? I'll be going there in early October. I posted the question on the Bare Spain Telegram group and so far have been told… STRONG (especially on a night when it's got an Odarko party) The Cage The Meat Rack I'm traveling with my husband who's not nearly as big of a pig as I am. So places that appeal to both pigs and more vanilla guys are a plus. STRONG gives him the ability to dance while I'm taking loads, so that's a big plus. The Cage is probably only an option on Fridays since other nights require you to get naked, or be into fisting, or whatever and he may not be in the mood. These also look interesting… Boyberry Hot (a bear bar with a dark room) Those are bars open earlier where I can go off to a back room and take a load or two while my husband's having a drink. Then we can have a late dinner (I don't like to eat when I'm going to a sex club, but if I've already gotten a load or two, then dinner is a possibility.) Am I missing other "sex bars" (bars with backrooms)? I mean there are regular bars I want to try (El Bulldog, Bears Bar, Pub Gris) but I don't think any of those have backrooms. There are also saunas/bathhouses/sex clubs, but not sure what to think of them - which ones are best for loads, etc… Sauna Center - must have a bar since I see promos where admission includes a drink Sauna Paraiso - has a pool, not particularly close to our hotel Sauna Octopus (same owner as Paraiso) - has a pool and a bar, advertises as being bear friendly, but also not all that close to the hotel Centerbeach Sauna (formerly Principe? same owner as other two?) - I think this was supposed to be a big deal but Google Maps is showing it as "temporarily closed" - not sure if covid killed it, but the last updates on their website seem to be late July. Sauna Lavapiés - all I see in the reviews is that it's huge - not sure what to think of this one. Attack Fetish Club There are a lot of options (plus ones I don't know about), so need some advice…

Just an update… I had a mild case overall, and I'm grateful that was the case. BUT it just won't quite go away - which ie beyond frustrating. I started Techovirimat (aka TPOXX) on "Day 11" and just too my last pills this morning (Day 25). Things were going so well that I thought I'd stop the TPOXX early. But then a little over a week ago ("Day 17", day 6 of TPOXX) I took a pic to see how thing were going "down there" (I felt great) and I saw an unhealed lesion. At that point I figured I'd continue the TPOXX for the full 14 days. BUT it hasn't healed in that time. It's looked pretty much like this the entire time… So that little fucker is going to stop me from having fun this weekend (I'm going to Montréal for Pride). I just want it to heal so I can be done with everything. But the takeaway for guys who are trying to avoid getting MPX is that, if that sore were in my ass rather than just outside it, I would have no clue I still had a problem and I'd be at GI Joe this weekend taking loads - and infecting the tops who fucked me. So this is not a good situation for tops since you can't see the lesions that could infect you and the bottom may have no clue that they haven't healed.

I had one shot as a kid AND the current vaccine a few days before exposure to MPX and I still got it. Mind you I think the two vaccines helped - my case was mild. You could argue the new vaccine didn't have time to work, but the shot I got as a kid was not sufficient to protect me from getting it.

@Axel83 thanks for all those pics! If I had to guess you only had MP, not herpes. Most of those lesions look like classic MP lesions. Though they are in a group - which is typical of herpes. So who knows. [And, minus the lesions - nice hole!] And just an update on where things stand with me (Day 11 & 12)… Taking a crap was far less painful yesterday, and almost normal today. I'm still not back to normal down there, but making good progress. You can't really tell I had a sore on my dick anymore. That's pretty much completely healed and normal now. The ones near/on my taint are just slight red bumps. You can tell something happened there, but it doesn't look all that unusual. I got my Tecovirimat Rx last night. You take it twice a day, so I'm 2 doses into it. But I feel like even without it symptoms would have resolved in a few days (around the 2 week mark). So in a few days, once I know for sure my symptoms are gone, I'll contact the clinic that got the meds for me and ask whether I should stop after a week. The meds came in two bottles, so I could give one back, still sealed…

My "white flat phase" came AFTER, not before, my pointy/pussy phase. But then again I only had 2-3 lesions on my skin (plus an unknown number in my ass).

Shortly after I wrote the post above I got a call from the clinic that did the tests last week and I DO have Monkeypox! (I can stop taking Valtrex.) Since they couldn't pop a lesion to get puss I figured the test would come back negative. The good part about having a positive test is they're putting me on Tecovirimat (an experimental drug) which is supposed to help me get over things more quickly. Since most of my problem is in my ass, they don't want there to be scarring down there. If there had been a false negative I wouldn't be able to get the drug and recovery would have taken longer. I take the drug for two weeks. I'm hoping it doesn't take that long for symptoms to end.

Just to follow up… Day 9 & 10 (yesterday & today: Incredibly painful to take a shit, but every day it's a small bit better. The sores on my dick and on my taint are healing. The one on my dick was creating little balls of dried puss which would move off the area of the sore and made me worry I had new sores - but they just wiped away when I touched them. I took heavy doses of Valtrex (2g, twice a day) for two days in case it was herpes, not Mpox. And now I'm taking half that - 1g, twice a day. With a normal herpes outbreak that usually makes things a lot better. Things are just marginally better - so I'm not sure what to think. I'm really hoping things clear up in a week or so, so they heal before I go to Montréal for Pride… 🤞

In general I'd never consider spreading an STI, but in this case part of me is tempted to have sex with you so you can experience how much pain can come from a "relatively minor issue"…

So… I'm pretty sure I managed to get Monkeypox. It's either that or a really bad outbreak of herpes. I got tested to see if I have it, but at the time of the test the only visible sore was just inside my ass and so they couldn't get puss out of it to test properly. So even if the test comes back negative that doesn't mean I don't have it. I figured I'd start a thread where people who've had Monkeypox could share their experiences (with photos) and others could ask questions… Here's the rundown of what happened with me… I'm going call the day I first noticed sores "Day 0"… Day -18: I fuck this guy and when I finger his hole it doesn't feel right / healthy. I've since asked him if he had Mpox - he's seen the message on BBRT and didn't respond - which is suspicious. Otherwise a sweet guy, so verdicts out on him. Day -7: I get vaccinated for Monkeypox (I happened to be in a place where they were available - lucky me!) At the time I thought it was weird how fastidious they were about wiping down chairs after people sat in them. But later I realized it made sense because shorts could be an infected fabric which then puts the virus on the chair and is picked up by the next person who sits in the chair. Thing is, there was a waiting room where you filled out your paperwork - I didn't see anyone wipe down chairs there (though they may have). So that waiting room was a possible point of exposure. Day -5: I fuck a gangbang bottom. I've tried to contact him, but he hasn't opened the message, so don't know if I got it from him or not. Day -3.5: I go to a park and fuck 2 guys and get fucked by 4 guys. One was especially sketchy - his dick didn't feel right (it felt rough) but I still let him fuck me. And it was really dark so I couldn't really see what might be causing the roughness. BUT - knowing how painful mpox is, I can't understand how he could be looking for sex or even get hard if that roughness was caused by mpox sores - it would have been incredibly painful for him. So that doesn't add up unless he was in the week after when things weren't completely healed. Day -3: A guy fucks me and at one point it feels like his finger nail nicks the inside of my ass. Day -1: I have a busy exhausting day. There might have been symptoms but I was just too tired and exhausted to notice them. Day 0: My sphincter feels inflamed and sore. When I feel it, it feels "wrong" and I can feel a bump. I chalk it up to the guy nicking me with his fingernail (day -3). There's also a bump at the bottom of my asscheek (bikini line area) that really hurts when I touch it. When I take a photo of it it's dark red - so not filled with puss like mpox sores are supposed to be. BUT I had done a long bike ride the day before, so it's possible the pressure from the bike saddle did something to it. Day 1: The sore at my bikini line popped and a hair is growing out of it - so I chalk it up to being an ingrown hair. Day 2: My ass isn't getting better. Day 3: Should have called for a doctor's appointment early in the day, but make the decision late, so called the next morning. Day 4: I see a medical provider and they do a bunch of tests. Day 5: Two more sores show up - one on my taint …and another on just below the head of my dick. (The big hole is a Prince Albert.) Day 6: No big change. But the area around the sore on my dick is really puffy & swollen. Day 7: The sore on my taint has mostly gone away and seems to be healing. It's barely visible in pictures. There's possibly a new sore just inside my ass. Day 8 (today): The sore on my dick is looking less like a sore. Seems like it's popped or something and just looks wet and slightly different than the surrounding skin. In the morning there's considerable pain when I'm sitting (from the probable new sore in/around my ass), but it's generally tolerable by the afternoon. All the tests come back negative except the monkeypox test which hasn't come back yet. At no point have I had a significant fever or noticed swollen/sore lymph nodes or had significant malaise. I feel a bit "weary" and lethargic but I'm chalking it up to being a bit down in the dumps after having caught Monkeypox after having sex with so few guys. It's not like I had sex with 20-30 guys. My numbers over 3 weeks were in the single digits - and some of those were quicky pump-n-dumps with me as the top. And I was also beating myself up for not taking it easier with sex for a full 2 weeks after having getting vaccinated. Had I done so, I probably wouldn't have gotten it. So when was I infected? The WHO says symptoms happen 6-13 days after infection, sometimes 5-21 days. Another study using a small sample of recent cases with mostly gay men in Europe says 95% of cases happen between 4.2 and 17.3 days. So that makes the last guy and even going to the park unlikely to be the point of infection (though it's still possible). BUT the sores first showed up in my ass and those were the only times I was fucked. You'd think if I got it from topping that I'd get it first on/around my dick. Monkeypox or herpes? My symptoms also kinda also match what an initial herpes infection might look like. Thing is, I've had herpes in the past (as have most people), so unless I caught an additional type (had HSV2, caught HSV1 or vice versa) that's unlikely. I did have a cold sore on my lip a few weeks before - which I can't ever remember having had before. So it's possible. Just today I started doing heavy doses of Valtrex. I'll let you know if that makes it go away, though I doubt it'll work. Take aways if you haven't had it… Even mild Monkeypox is extremely painful. Avoid it if you can. The sores are pretty small and easy to miss. Apparently a sore is infectious for a week afterwards - until new skin has grown back over the area. So good luck figuring out if the person you're hooking up with is infectious. About all you can do is prioritize regulars you trust, and limit the number of strangers you interacting with. I thought I was kinda doing that - that a few guys in a park was 10x better than lots of guys at a sex party - but I still got it, so I guess it is what it is. You can reduce your risk but can't eliminate it if you're having non-monogamous sex. Absolutely get vaccinated if you can - it will help even if you do catch it. I chalk fairly mild symptoms up to having gotten the vaccine. And once you get vaccinated take it easy with sex for a full two weeks.

What I’m reading in the scientific literature suggests you’re wrong. The NIH website when discussing breakthrough failures of PrEP says… “Seroconversion was usually atypical or delayed because of significantly suppressed viral load, making diagnosis a clinical challenge.” Meaning taking PrEP after seroconversion has started lowers the viral load and suppresses symptoms. Also if you read up on the use of antibody tests they’re less accurate in that scenario as well because the suppressed viral load delays the formation of antibodies.

…not to avoid getting HIV, but rather to try to mitigate any fuck flu symptoms I might have. I'm thinking Truvada will slow down HIV and less virus = a milder fuck flu. Not sure if that's true, but we'll see… It's not like I'm trying to get pozzed so I can experience horrible fuck flu or have it interrupt my travel plans. I'll be quite happy if I can test poz without any symptoms or just minimal symptoms. If the symptoms built slowly over a couple days I'd take them at first sign of symptoms, but apparently that's not how it works. So I'll take a low dose of Truvada for the next couple weeks. [I should also mention that all my Truvada has expired at this point. So who knows whether it'll do the job it's supposed to do…] I'm only 11 days after taking the (possibly/probably) toxic load. I had a case of oral herpes - which is weird for me - can't remember the last time that happened. And I've had days where I'm pretty headachy - but mostly when I didn't get enough sleep the night before. And my dick is completely unpredictable. That's not completely unusual for me, but it seems noticeably worse than usual. I did try to fuck two guys. One was this super hot muscled black guy. I was (barely) hard enough to fuck, but couldn't cum. I did fuck him for like 20-30 minutes and he was pretty wet after (precum?). But his profile said he was on PrEP, so it's not like there was risk for him. The other guy I tried to fuck was super tight and I couldn't get hard enough to push in. Frustrating… He was also really oral (which does almost nothing for me) and didn't like to get rimmed - but otherwise he was cute enough to try again in the future. Both guys are in the neighborhood so I'm hoping I'll eventually get my cum in both of them. I just want to fast forward to being toxic but otherwise back to normal. So we'll see… I'm hoping I don't get significant symptoms since they could lead to awkward questions.

Thanks! That was the type of info I was looking for.

I’ve been wondering… Those of you who had significant fuck flu (HIV conversion) symptoms… Did the bad symptoms come on suddenly, or did it start with a few days of mild stuff?

@DanishDude76 - Yeah, I've seen the surveys on here over the years that about 1/3rd don't have any symptoms, 1/3rd have mild symptoms, and 1/3rd have pretty bad symptoms. I'm hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. With international travel the next few weeks and then obligations early in July it's not a good time to have even moderate symptoms. Fingers crossed!

A lot has been going through my mind the past 5 days since I took what I think was a toxic load… The first night I didn't sleep all that well (excitement, not worry). Then the next day I realized nothing except possibly my status has changed. But if I'm poz it does change some of my priorities. I came the morning after, but now I'm going to try to not cum except when I'm fucking someone. That said, my libido hasn't been all that strong. I've been reading about viral loads. I knew the basics, but not the particulars. Upon doing some research I learned HIV hides out in the lymph nodes near your groin and then when they replicate a certain amount HIV "bursts" into your blood stream and that's when you're actually toxic. Apparently that's around Day 8. Then weeks 2-4 (first half of July) I'll be the most infectious I'll ever be. The weeks 10-24 (late August to Thanksgiving) I'll have a low, but detectable viral load, then it slowly builds. BUT the problem is getting anything but the mildest case of fuck flu is a problem right now since I have an international trip scheduled at the end of the month. SO, my plan is to start taking PrEP in order to keep a lid on the infection and keep my fuck flu mild. (At least that's what I hope will happen). So Sunday (~10 days after taking the load) I'll start taking PrEP every other day. Then I'll ramp that up to daily, and then taper down again before I come home. Even after I get back there's an event scheduled where it would be a problem if I were down for the count with fuck flu, so I'll take a little bit until that's over. If it works the worst case scenario is that I become meds resistant for Truvada (and that's not a huge negative in my book 😈). I knew I had all those complications when I took the load, but I took it anyway because at the end of the day there just isn't a convenient time to have fuck flu. I'm really hoping I can control any symptoms with PrEP. It'll suck if I can't. But, taking PrEP means I'll be knocking down my viral load. So that whole 2-4 weeks, and 10-24 weeks timeline may not really apply to me. But at the end of the day I'm happy whether my viral load is 50,000 or 1 million. Actually, I'm happier with 50,000 since, if I can keep the viral level low, but high enough to knock guys up, then that's a plus. It means I can probably stay off meds longer, and poz more guys who are chasing (actively and passively). The other issue is that I was going to take a home HIV test a month after I took the load. Normally that would be pretty accurate, but apparently people who started ARV therapy quickly after infection (which is kinda what I'm doing by taking Truvada) take longer to develop antibodies. And home tests are antibody tests. So I'll probably wait a few more weeks to test, or try to do multiple tests. But it'll be really frustrating to not know if I'm poz or not… Oh, in other news… I figured out the guy who gave me the load is an OnlyFans model. (No, I won't tell you which one.) I knew he was hot, but hadn't realized he had turned his good looks into a profession (or at least a significant side hustle). A couple people I talked to about him did confirm they knew he was a bug chaser, so that ups the odds of him telling the truth about being toxic. Now the question is whether he's actually toxic or just a good sex worker feeding into someone's fantasy (a fantasy he shares). A lot of the guys who get into poz fetish aren't for real - they're on PrEP or already undetectable. My gut tells me that he's telling the truth, and I kinda trust my impression of him (I'm a pretty good judge of people), BUT it could just be wishful thinking on my part. Doing some more calculations with dates – my possible "poz daddy" said he had a mild fuck flu in December. So backing that up it means he was probably pozzed around Thanksgiving (roughly). So he was at week ~28 after infection. So (if he's having an "average" infection) he'd be about a month out of his period of low viral load. That's actually fine with me. The higher his viral load the more problems I'll have with fuck flu. POSTSCRIPT: I tested neg a few weeks later (on a NAAT test that can detect HIV before there are antibodies). Either the guy wasn't toxic, or he faked cumming in me, or it all leaked out on the bike ride home, or it just wasn't enough virus to infect me.

A couple hours ago I hooked up with this guy who I'd fucked in the past when he was a bug chaser and I'm like 90% sure I've got a toxic load in my unPrEPped neg ass right now. 😈☣️ When I fucked him before I was vague about my status back then since I knew I was neg and his fantasy was that I was poz and toxic, but it turned me on that he was chasing. He was this clean-cut, muscle frat boy type - not the type you'd expect to be trying to get pozzed. Last fall he'd told me he didn't really know his status since he hadn't been tested in a while. But lately I had noticed that his BBRT profile said "positive", so I assumed he had converted or at least assumed he had converted. Today he thought we were "swapping strains". My dick wasn't completely cooperating (tired from the bike ride over there). So we took a break and I asked if he wanted to jack off and stick his dick in my ass as he was humming (most of the time I'm not in the mood to bottom - I prefer topping). He had been rock hard the whole time and it took him like 5 seconds to shove into me. Even though he didn't go in far it hurt like hell and felt like it was ripping a bit. It was as he was humming that I finally said "poz me, poz my neg ass". But he still probably figured it was fantasy talk. When he pulled out (he was barely in) I got up and told him I'd had a neg test two weeks ago and hadn't taken PrEP in two years. That's pretty much the truth. Last time I took PrEP was February 2020, and I had been really sloppy about taking PrEP since late 2017 (e.g. slightly more loads in my ass than pills of PrEP since then). He seemed a bit hesitant when he responded. He said he'd finally gotten a confirmation test last month (later he told me it was a home test) and he was going to wait as long as possible to go on meds. Taking his toxic load got me rock hard, unfortunately he's one of those guys who can't get fucked after they cum. Too bad - I could have given him my last neg load… I'm rock hard as I write this. In thinking about it I've been seriously considering getting pozzed for over a decade. In the late 90s I was turned on by the risk the guys were taking in TIM videos. And I remember being in bed at MAL in 2011 with a friend/fuckbuddy who was poz and not on meds and him offering to blow a load in me to make it happen. I almost took him up on it then. It just grew and grew over the years. Now the only thing I think about when I jack off is either getting pozzed or pozzing guys. As I'm getting older I figured it was kinda now or never. My only misgiving at this point is the awkward conversations I'll need to have with a few people at some point in the future. I texted with the guy after and he said he thinks he knows who pozzed him. He did have "the flu" back in December, but it wasn't too bad. I just hope I don't get fuck flu at an inconvenient or awkward time… At some point I'll have him give me another load - just to make sure it takes. Now to find some neg bottoms to fuck… POSTSCRIPT: I tested neg a few weeks later (on a NAAT test that can detect HIV before there are antibodies). Either the guy wasn't toxic, or he faked cumming in me, or it all leaked out on the bike ride home, or it just wasn't enough virus to infect me.

I suspect once the fuck flu sets in, it’s too late to try to mitigate the effects. The polls I’ve seen over the years regarding fuck flu were all roughly 1/3rd no symptoms, 1/3rd mild symptoms, and 1/3rd severe symptoms. I’d be happy with just knocking it down a level — mild instead of severe, or none instead of mild.