JakeTurner

Nothing (other than PrEP) will prevent HIV. In terms of just not getting sick so much, ever since I started taking zinc picolinate (50mg/day) I've pretty much stopped having serious illnesses. Now when I get sick (which is rare) it's pretty mild. I was getting nasty flus and colds pretty regularly previously. The other thing I do is a glass of non-frozen orange juice every day for vitamin C. But you gotta be careful with herbs and supplements – it's not hard to take toxic doses of them, and some of them have toxic impurities in them. If a little is good, more is NOT better.

Those of you who know the science of ARVs and what happens in the body during initial HIV infection… If someone got infected and then started taking PrEP say 5-7 days after infection, would that lessen the severity of the flu-like symptoms of initial HIV infection? I'm thinking maybe… PrEP would slow down (but not stop) the replication of HIV, which would lower viral load. And a lower viral load should result in fewer symptoms because there's less for the body to react to. Correct? Or am I missing something? Another related question is whether the handful of guys who got infected while on PrEP (or the ones who tested neg when they went on, but had been recently infected) had flu-like symptoms or did they just find out they were poz at their next HIV test? If none of them had fuck flu, then that sorta answers the question. Of course doing that risks resistance to the ingredients in Truvada, but my understanding is that particular resistance doesn't last – you lose it after a while. (Which is one of the reasons why they picked Truvada as the first drug for PrEP).

Just curious what the best way is to get loads in Tempe/Phoenix? I'll be there (Tuesday) March 26th to (Sunday) March 31st. Unfortunately Friday and Saturday nights I'm probably not free. So that means Tuesday and Wednesday nights I can do whatever, and Sunday afternoon / evening I could probably hang out at a bathhouse. If I host a ganging at my AirBnB during the week will anyone show up? (When I did it a couple years ago I think only 2-3 guys came). How is Flex or Chute? Is one better for loads than the other? Any other suggestions?

Just wondering what people use to douche deep. Unfortunately the bathhouses suck here in NYC so it's all about sex parties and the venues usually don't have facilities to clean out. So you have to clean out pretty deep to make sure you'll get through the night. I use one that looks like this (only it's red, not blue)… But the problem is that one is that it's not stiff enough and when it hits certain parts in my ass it doubles back on itself rather than continuing up my ass. To be clear… My hose bends back on itself when it gets to the "rectosigmoid junction" in the pic below… I need it bendable (and gentle) enough to make that corner, but not so bendable that it will come back down my ass back towards my asshole. I want to flush out my sigmoid colon and descending colon, not just my rectum. It's hit or miss getting past that bend with my current hose, but when I get mine to make that turn and go deep 3 or more times in a clean out session, then I'm good for at least 12 hours (sometimes 18+ with just minimal touch ups to get to 24 hours). A lot of the hoses aren't long enough to even get to that bend. I'm looking for ones that are at longer than a foot long (preferably >15"). The one I have my eye on is Fort Troff's Bum Blaster. Do any of you have that one? Have you ever had it fold back on you and "come south"? Or are there other ones you'd recommend?

Well, I did it. I went the full 8 days without PrEP and was as a big of a slut as my body could handle. It's not like I freaked out in the middle and stopped having sex or anything. All in all I got 33 loads (which was just 1/3rd of my initial goal and 1/2 what I really hoped for). In the process I learned a bit about my body and how I feel about getting pozzed… Just a quick note to say that PrEP is >90% effective 7 days after you stop (if you've been taking it every day, which I was), but apparently after the 7 days the efficacy starts dropping pretty quickly. So most of my risk was the last day or two. I toyed with stopping a day or so before I went, but wasn't sure how I'd feel when things were actually in progress, so I didn't take the risk. Just looking at the last couple days when there was risk. I took 3 loads in Fort Lauderdale (one of which said he was undetectable) on the final day, and three in Key West the day before. So if anything happened it was probably one of those 5 loads. First thing I learned was that I don't want some random guy I really am not into being my poz daddy. Or maybe a better way of putting it is that I want to look back at when I got pozzed and think "that was really hot!". And most of the sex in Key West wasn't really hot. Not saying it was all bad sex, just that there was more "forgettable" sex than one might hope. (Though I did have sex with a porn star you probably all know – which is saying something since he was mostly just fucking his "boy" – a guy who's just started in porn). Going forward I think my strategy with PrEP will be to take it after having 1-on-1 sex. If I'm really into the guy I just won't take it. That way the only guys who have a chance of pozzing me are guys who I'd want as a poz daddy. (For sex parties, I'll take it the day before as well as when I get home from the party). Second thing I learned was that you can be too sexually assertive. I'm a New Yorker who knows the difference between assertive (good) and aggressive (bad). It's not like I was a pushy asshole bottom who was being rude. But the two huge sexual failures this week happened when I was being really sexually assertive. The first time I was wearing a t-shirt that made it crystal clear that I was was a cumdump. The back had a big pig with #CumInMyAss below it and a downwards pointing arrow below that. I got a lot of dick wearing that t-shirt – 8 guys fucked me, but no one came in my ass. I'm in it for the load, not the fuck, so huge failure. Then Sunday night I had a #neg4poz gangbang in Fort Lauderdale. 44 guys signed up, plus I gave 2 guys details privately, yet only one showed up and fucked me / gave me a load. (One other showed up, but was super nervous, couldn't get hard, and left after a couple minutes of a blowjob). I've been watching the sex parties in Fort Lauderdale and 44 guys is really good – almost as good as their CumUnion parties get. But only one guy showing up is horrible. In hindsight I think they probably all thought I'd flake – I was presenting myself as a bug chaser and bug chasers have a habit of not going through with it. But so do toxic tops. I even tried to give guys cover and told guys to just pretend they were toxic even if they weren't. That way the assumption could be that the guy was just lying about being toxic. It should have been a really hot scene, but 1 top showing up out of 44/46 is a complete failure. Third thing I learned was that my ass can't take deep cleanings every day. As much as I'd love to be a 24/7/365 cumdump I just don't have it in me. My intestinal track is a mess after doing deep cleanings every day for 8 days. Maybe if I could just do shallow cleanings it could work, but then big dicks are a problem 'cause they'll get up deeper than I cleaned out. But one way or another I probably need to lay off bottoming for a week to let things get back to normal. Fourth thing I learned was that Key West isn't as gay as I thought. It was my first time in Key West and I'd always heard the gay scene there was pretty good, but it's just not. There are basically two bars – Saloon 1 and Bourbon Street Pub (and some drag places) and they both had issues getting a critical mass of people on what's billed as the biggest week of the year. Mind you, Hurricane Irma dropped the crowds by 30-50%. But that means most of the time they're pretty empty. And their busy hours are really limited as well. That said, Island House was really special. If you've never been think combo gay guest house, naked bar, and bathhouse. I got 11 of my 33 loads at Island House, and the crowd is hotter than elsewhere as well – to the point that it was the only place I was inspired to top (gave 2 loads). [By comparison I got 9 loads at Saloon 1, and 3 at Bourbon Street Pub.] One thing I did really like about Key West is how you can be naked in all the bars, and even have sex at the bars – there are no hangups there. I wish the same were true in NYC. Yeah, the Cock is like that, but only late at night. In Key West it's 24/7. All in all I'm glad I did it and went without PrEP. It helped clarify a few things for me…

So I did it. I went on vacation (9 days, 8 nights) and didn't take my PrEP. It feels weird going out, taking loads, and then not taking the pill that night. I wake up every morning wanting to get pozzed, but at night I'm tired and doubtful. But can't say I've got any major doubts – it's more like a nagging feeling to do the right thing. So far Fantasy Fest has been pretty slow and I've struggled to get loads. I was hoping to get 100 loads this week, which would have required I get 13 every day. But after 3 days I've only gotten 14. I'm confident things will pick up, I'm just not sure how much they'll pick up. I've never been to Key West before. The gay community here is a lot smaller than I expected. I can imagine living here you probably see the same faces all the time, but then a cruise ship or two will come in and you get fresh meat. It's like here the world comes to you. Whereas NYC just has the world all the time. But in Key West you can openly fuck at the bars. God, I wish that were more the case in NYC. I was also hoping there might be a way to attract straight guys, but the straight crowd here is pretty out there sexually. I'm seeing guys fuck women and women giving blowjobs at the gay bars. I'm sure there are straight bars where there's activity as well. Point being, if the women are putting out, the horny straight guys don't need a gay guy to service them. So far I've gotten most of my loads at Saloon 1. I even got fucked right at the bar yesterday, though that seemed a bit too public so I took the guy to the outdoor patio to continue to fuck. But I've also gotten fucked on the top deck at New Orleans House / Bourbon Street Pub. And then my buddy and I had a gangbang early evening on Monday and Tuesday. The one on Monday went well – at least for me – I got 5 loads from 4 tops, my buddy wasn't so lucky (the guys who came were a mix of 1-on-1 guys for me, and gangbang sign ups that mostly wanted to play with me, not with my buddy). But then no one came to the gangbang the next day. Sunday night pretty much every guy that fucked me at Saloon 1 came in my ass (and pretty quickly too). But last night I had gotten fucked by 5 guys and still hadn't taken a load. Then they started happening in rapid succession. After the 3rd load this guy was fucking me and I guess he went too deep and my douche failed. I was really frustrated since I was on a roll, but had to go home at that point. Cleaning out has been difficult. Trying to clean out after a 3-4 hour plane flight plus a 3-4 hour drive isn't easy. I think I fucked up something in the process and my hole got really sore (in a bad way). The next day (particularly after the gangbang) I was so sore I was worried I might have to stop getting fucked, so I did take it a bit easy that evening when I went out "only" 3 dicks (and 2 loads). But last night things seemed a lot better, so hopefully those problems are behind me. But my diet is all fucked up. I'm basically just eating when I go home at night and then the next morning. So there's not a lot of food in there. And things aren't coming down normally. Yesterday I went to clean out and I was actually pretty much clean. I'd stick my long dildo up there and it kept coming out clean. So I invited a guy over, but he would up going to the wrong Hyatt. And just as we were figuring that out, more came out and I was actually sorta glad he hadn't come over. But then I checked and the dildo was continuing to come out clean. So it wasn't like that was part of something more. And then of course, things "failed" when I was actually out getting fucked. So yesterday was tough in that regard. One good thing about Key West is that it seems a lot of the guys are only into oral. So when I'm willing to get fucked I get a fair amount of attention. It's not like I'm competing with a million other bottoms who want cum in their ass. And the age skews pretty old here, so the bottoms I am competing with aren't hot young muscle guys – meaning I've got an actual chance to get loads. We'll see if that continues into the weekend though. Bottom line, I'm hoping things get a lot busier this weekend, and the soreness of my ass goes away completely, and I've gotten into a groove with douching – 'cause I really need a lot more cum in my ass!

I skipped some days of PrEP last week, but when it came down to it this week, I took all my pills. Part of the reason is because I had a head cold this week (started with a scratchy throat Sunday night), and when I'm tired or otherwise not at 100% I tend to just go on autopilot which means going through the motions of what I'm supposed to be doing. So I took my pills. And I was thinking of being a slut tomorrow and starting my slutty week a day early (and getting an early start to my week+ off PrEP), but I'm a little scared if I push myself too hard the cold will come roaring back and ruin my week (it's a day and a half from when I fly to Florida & I'm still coughing occasionally), so I'm just gonna take it easy. And since I'm not taking loads tomorrow, I'll just take my PrEP like normal. So that means when I get to my #neg4poz gangbang next Sunday that will be day 8 off PrEP. In thinking about it, that's about the level of risk I'm comfortable with, so it's all good. If I weren't still a bit sick right now I'd be more excited about the trip. But I'm so run down my dick will barely get hard Hopefully I'll be @ 100% by Sunday or at least Monday. I wanna have a good slutty week!

I use Safari and it works fine. But I just had a problem with Firefox that disrupted a number of sites. It wasn't the fault of the sites but the fact that Firefox had a corrupt file. In that case deleting all my cookies fixed it. Maybe there's something similar going on in your case.

This morning I was laying in bed jacking off to porn on my phone and I just had this intense urge to stop taking PrEP – to just be done with sitting on the fence and choose to actually be poz. I know if I go off it now there's a good chance I'll get pozzed when I'm in Key West & Ft. Lauderdale. I mean I'm advertising for toxic tops, so there's a greater chance risk will find me… So my heart wants to be poz, but I think my rational side will prevail – at least to a point. I'll skip my pills today (as I have a few days in the past week), but then take it the next few days before leaving on the trip on Sunday (and leaving my pills in NYC). That'll give me at least minimal protection. But a big part of me is asking if I'm willing to go this far, why not go further? Then the question is how much PrEP I'll take when I get back from my trip. There's the question of the first day or two, and then what to do moving forward. We'll have to see what feels right at that point. I'm not sure there's any point in taking it the first day or two. I probably won't have having additional sex those days. Truvada is designed to stop HIV from infecting you, it's not designed to stop replication. So if I'm infected on the trip, I don't know that Truvada could stop the infection – just slow it down. But I do go in for my quarterly PrEP screening the day after I get back (including an HIV test)… Though I doubt that test would come back poz even if I were infected since it's so soon after exposure. Right now I think I'll move forward with pretty minimal PrEP. I'm thinking never more than 2 days in a row. And only take it when I have sex. So if I've been a good cumdump and have taken anonymous loads (or loads from guys who I know little about) in the past 10 days, then I'll be allowed to take it the night before I have plans to take multiple anon loads. Otherwise just take it the night after taking a stranger's load, and the following day if I didn't take it the day before and I got multiple loads. So basically never more than 2 in a row, 0 pills for known fuck buds who are shooting blanks (undetectable or on PrEP), 1 pill after a single load, and 2 pills for multiple loads. I've also been thinking about my 50th birthday which is coming up in a month or two. There's a CumUnion party the night before. I'm thinking I'll go so I can ring in my birthday with a cummy ass. And no PrEP will be allowed for that night of sex (or a couple days before). After all, if someone wants to give me a birthday gift, taking PrEP would be like refusing their gift, which is sorta rude…

Just bumping this thread. I wanna take as many loads as possible next week. Hoping some of you might be going to Fantasy Fest and can breed me…

I went to a gangbang yesterday. I'm vers and love seeing cumdumps take anonymous loads, love the feel of a cummy hole on my dick, etc. Yeah, I wish I were the one taking the loads, but the next best thing is giving one to a hot cumdump. So I get there and there are already 3 other tops in the room. One of the tops (an older daddy) pulls out and lets another of the tops (a smooth muscular guy with a curved dick) fuck the bottom. Then that top pulls out and lets the 3rd top (a black guy) fuck the bottom. Then while he's fucking the bottom a 5th top joins the group. He's jacking his dick but having problems getting hard enough to fuck. When the black guy cums and pulls out, the new guy (who's still soft) takes over the bottom despite the fact that there are 3 of us with rock hard dicks who are ready and willing to fuck the bottom. He starts rimming / felching the cumdump while the 3 of us are just standing there jacking rock hard cocks. That's a total no-no in gangbang etiquette – the most ready person is the one who fucks the bottom, and if guys are equally ready, the one who hasn't had a chance to fuck the bottom (recently) gets to fuck. You absolutely don't monopolize the bottom's hole when you're not ready to fuck. The bottom is there to get loads, not there to get felched. (Or at least be really quick about it). The smooth muscle guy starts playing with the daddy, aiming the daddy's dick at his ass. I don't think they actually fuck though. Meanwhile the smooth guy is playing with my dick and starts rubbing his ass on my dick. Since the bottom was busy getting rimmed / felched by the guy with the soft dick, I stick my dick up the smooth guy's ass. I had no intention of giving him a proper fucking, and definitely not a load – that was reserved for the gangbang bottom, but it was nice to get my dick wet – even if it's not in the gangbang bottom's ass. Then the daddy starts playing with my ass. He's taller than me, and the smooth guy is shorter, so I have to get on my toes a bit to get the daddy's cock in my ass (good thing I cleaned out before going). That sorta pulls my dick out of the smooth muscle guy. The daddy isn't in me but a couple of seconds when the guy with the soft dick finally lets one of us take a turn. I need to run and I knew I'd cum quickly, and I was the only one in the room who hadn't had a chance to fuck the bottom, so I stepped forward and I blew my load in under a dozen strokes. All I could think about was that I wanted to be a poz cumdump like the guy I was fucking. There are times when I'm a good cumdump, but I don't get anywhere near the number of loads that guy gets. He's younger (can't do anything about that), and has a better body (that I'm working on) so more guys wanna fuck him. And he's poz… There's something After I was done one of other tops stepped forward and fucked the bottom. My dick refused to go down, so I slipped it in smooth muscle guy again for a few strokes and then went on my way. I needed to get to the gym and then get to a bar to have drinks with friends. You'd think the story would end there, but I'm at the gym doing my first set of hammer curls and I feel a bit of a wetness like water was coming down from when I douched. But I didn't douche all that deeply, so I was a bit confused. I finished all 3 sets of hammer curls and went to the bathroom. I wipe and I get a clear viscous fluid. I smell and I'm 90% sure it was cum! So the daddy managed to breed me for the few seconds he was in there! That was an unexpected (pleasant) surprise. Now I think it's bad etiquette for the daddy to have bred me unless he had already given a load to the cumdump. Even if it was his second load it probably should have gone in the cumdump, but the cumdump was busy (sorta – a more take-charge top would have pushed the soft dick guy aside and given a 2nd load to the cumdump). Maybe it was bad form for me and the smooth muscle guy to get fucked, but we were just killing time waiting for the limp dick guy to get done hogging the bottom. I would never have cum in the smooth guy, so I feel like what I did wasn't all that horrible. The gangbang bottom managed to get 40 loads after just 4 hours, so none of the etiquette failures mattered this time around. I gotta say I'm totally jealous. I want to be just like him – fitter / more muscular, and maybe even poz! ?

I'm not so sure I can hit the 100 load goal. I'll do what I can, but I'm pushing 50 with a few extra pounds (but that's gradually improving). And it seems Fantasy Fest (the week I'll be in Key West) is mostly straight. So I've got to figure out how to get straight guys to breed me. I'll also count "indirect loads" towards the 100. Stuff like guys who cum in my mouth – I'll spit it out into a condom and then empty then contents into my ass. I'm also thinking of a "used condom recycling service" where I'll advertise on Craigslist and pick up condoms that have fresh loads in them (and then empty them into my ass). Never tried that last one so don't know if guys will go for it.

So I started taking random loads before PrEP came out. And then just around the time that it was approved by the FDA was when I finally got comfortable with the idea of being a cumdump, taking any and all loads, and eventually getting pozzed. I went to a few sex parties, bent over and took loads from anyone who'd fuck me. But then I realized I could be a cumdump and stay neg if I went on PrEP, so that's what I did. That was the spring of 2013 – nearly 5 years ago now. But I gotta say there's something really anti-climatic about PrEP. I miss the risk – whether I'm taking the risk or the bottom I'm fucking is taking it. And honestly, when you get to the point where you're OK with converting, that grows on you over time to the point where now I actually want to be poz. I'm not to the point of actively chasing – more like I want to take significant, calculated risks. A few weeks ago I saw an article on Poz.com that, among other things, mentioned that there was still >90% protection a week after people stop taking PrEP. That got me thinking… I had a trip scheduled to Key West at the end of October – maybe I should just not take any PrEP with me. I'd be down there for 8 days. So based on the data, that means I'll still have about 90% coverage. BUT, even now, I don't take PrEP every day. So my protection will be a bit less. And it turns me on that I don't know how much less. My goal for that week is to get 100 loads of cum up my ass. Give at least one load a day. And manage to get a fist up my ass. (And workout, go to the nude beach, etc.) Basically I'm there to be a slut. I'm a little worried about the 100 load goal, so I might start my week early by going to a bathhouse the day before I leave. In that case if I can get at least 5 loads at the bathhouse, I'll skip PrEP that day too. That put me up to 9 days skipped. And then I was thinking if I've taken PrEP within 24 hours of having sex, then I'm not really "off PrEP" when I'm taking those loads. So I'm tempted to skip another day, but I'm thinking 10 days is more risk than I'm comfortable with. On top of that I posted a #neg4poz gangbang party ad on BBRT for the last night of the trip (in Ft. Lauderdale). I'm telling guys to pretend their toxic even if they aren't so I don't really know what I'm getting up my ass. I figure that should give some anonymity to the tops who really are toxic. If there's lots of poz talk and everyone is saying they're blowing a toxic load and infecting me, then the truly toxic tops can mix into that and there's plausible deniability for them – that they're lying just like everyone else. But the idea of taking toxic loads when I'm 8 or 9 days off PrEP is both a turn on and a worry. A small part of me is saying "life is good, why are you doing this?" but the bigger part of me is just sorta numb and wanting it to happen. I want this to be a reoccurring thing – once or twice a year I go somewhere to be a slut and don't take my PrEP with me. I'm in the 2 week period before going where I should be taking Truvada every day and getting my serum drug levels up. But I've already skipped a day or two. I'm telling myself I only get PrEP when I do significant exercise (a half hour + of weights or cycling). But the last 4-5 days I will take it every day regardless. So the plan is in motion. Who knows? Maybe in a month I'll have fuck flu. But more likely I'll still be neg. I like not knowing… [I'll try to keep blogging during this whole adventure. I want to log my thoughts and feelings…]

Yeah, be careful about too much pressure. IMHO, it's better to use gentle pressure, but go deep. Pair an ErgoFlow Pro with a 15-16" hose that can get up past your "2nd sphincter". Spend 20-30 min putting water as deep as you can (make sure the hose doesn't bend otherwise it's not going deep), then wait an hour and check with a long dildo for any remaining water that's come down, and you'll be clean for 18-24 hours (assuming you stop eating 3-4 hours before you clean out).

Yeah, I wish there was more sex in public spaces here in NYC. Not sure if it's just all the competition from the new PrEPsters for loads, or if it's me getting older (and tops want younger bottoms), but it seems I don't do as well on either hookup websites or apps as I once did (not that I ever did that much on apps). I'll send messages to guy who show as "online" and they don't read them for hours. Or I'll unlock for a bunch of guys and fewer of them get back to me. Maybe that's the sites exaggerating who's actually online, but the end result is not much dick. So yeah, I also just go straight to sex parties, bathhouses, etc. But that isn't an ideal solution much of the time. Wish there were reliable places near me where I could go out and get fucked 24/7.

I'll be in Key West October 22 to 29 for Fantasy Fest (and the very tail end of Key West Bear Weekend). I wanna see how many loads I can get that week. I don't care what you look like, how big your dick is, what your status is, etc. I just want you to cum in my ass. Literally no load refused. If you can get hard and cum, we're a match. Hit me up and I'll give you my number so you can text me and we'll take it from there.

I'll be in Toronto for one of these parties in a couple weeks, BUT my husband's aunt is having a fuckin' BBQ I have to go to. Very frustrating!

I'll be in TO August 9-13 (so there for CumUnion), and in MTL Aug 17-20 (for Canada Pride & CumUnion).

Are these the ones that Fukd posts on BBRT? Are they every 2nd & 4th Sunday? I'll be in TO in August and can come if that's when they are.

Room 33. No load refused. If I'm wandering around I'll have my towel around my neck and I've got a big Prince Albert in my dick.

For those of you who might not know, there will be an LGBT march on Washington Sunday June 11, 2017 (The National Pride March) – the day after the DC gay pride parade. For those of you who are coming in from out-of-town, maybe we can stay in the same hotel (and if the chemistry is right, do a little fucking). I've made reservations at the Marriott Courtyard near Union Station. It's on the Red Line, so easy to get to places like Dupont Circle, and isn't too far from the (sleazy) Glorious Health bathhouse. Let me know if you guys are going and wanna meet up.

So how does CLAW compare to MAL and IML? It used to be that a dedicated bottom could get 100+ loads at MAL or IML. Then PrEP made it so everyone wanted to be a cumdump and getting loads got a lot harder. Is CLAW more like the old MAL/IML or do bottoms have the same level of competition that they have at MAL/IML? That said, my friend and I both got on the wait list for a room at the Westin. If we get a room we'll probably come. If we get two rooms there will probably be a whole group of us.

Hey, I'll be visiting Toronto this week. Plan on going out and being a slut Friday night. The Eagle is having Naked Night & Steamworks is having CumUnion that night. From what I hear CumUnion gets started earlier, so I'll probably do that first and then take my cummy ass over to The Eagle to see if I can get more loads before they close. I'll literally take any load. I'm VERY poz friendly. So knock me up!