JakeTurner

See Bear4PozLoads original blog post... Last week one of the tops who bailed on me the night I got 4 loads was this black guy. We finally hooked up today - it was just a simple pump and dump... I get to his place and it's this ratty building that doesn't even have the number on the outside. Based on the size of the building and the number of buzzers I could tell it was a rooming house. I really had no clue what I was getting myself into - I hadn't even seen his face pic. All I knew was he had a nice dick, he was black, and he was poz. He comes down and lets me in and he's smokin' hot! Really lean - almost skinny, but he was pretty muscular - basically zero body fat and lots of muscles on a really little frame. Watching his ass through his really thin workout pants as he climbed the stairs in front of me I just wanted to fuck him. But that wasn't what I was here for... We get into the room and I start stripping down. He gets naked and takes off everything but his socks. I leave my shirt and socks on and get on my knees to suck his dick. He starts smoking what I think was pot as I sucked on his dick. His dick was long and thick. Sorta like a perfect tube of spongey flesh with a big head on it. I'm not that great of a cocksucker, but I sucked him enough to make him fully hard. Then he went over to the bed, grabbed the lube and it was clear what I was supposed to do. I got on all fours with my ass facing him. He used a lot of lube, but I still had trouble taking his dick, so he used even more and finally he got in. He was a good top. He pushed me enough to give me a good fuck, but would back off when I was in pain. He never actually went balls deep in me and when he finished and I how big his dick was I realized why. I thought I had gotten him fully hard, but I hadn't - he was easily 10", but he knew I couldn't take that much so he'd go about 2/3rds of the way in or just do short strokes. When he came he didn't say anything. I just started feeling a wetness in my ass. I'm guessing he came a lot. When he pulled out he started cleaning off his dick with a towel. I was a little paranoid I wasn't clean 'cause it had taken me forever to clean out. And right before I had gone over I checked to make sure I was clean and and was back to being dirty. But it didn't seem like I was all that dirty. Still he was checking the old comforter he had thrown over the bed to see if I messed it up. He came pretty quickly and I wasn't sure if he wanted me to stick around or what. But as I started putting on my clothes it was clear he intended me to go. He was nice enough, but also sorta cold the entire time. The whole thing only lasted maybe 10 minutes including undressing and dressing and sucking his cock. But I got what I wanted and left with a messy ass full of his poz fuck juice. More...

See Bear4PozLoads original blog post... The last two hookups I've had a bit of a "cleanliness" problem... First one was earlier this week with my Latino cub top, and today with the skinny black guy with the big dick. In both cases I douched before. I think the first time I was too aggressive in cleaning out and got water up too high and it came out at the wrong moment. Plus I had cleaned, and checked a little later, but then it was an hour or so since I last checked. Today I cleaned out and double checked but then had to run around before getting fucked. So it was over 2 hours since my last check. That means I gotta be more careful and check right before getting fucked. Or just not eat... I'm seeing how many loads I can take in the next 24 hours... Got one in me (from the big dicked black guy)... I'm just not eating anything solid today so once I'm clean I'll stay that way. And by the way - both of the hookups recently were pump-n-dumps - it's sorta becoming standard for me. More...

See Bear4PozLoads original blog post... So I had 24 hours to myself and wanted to get as many loads as possible, but it was like the stars just weren't aligned or something. Early in the afternoon I did get a load from the black guy with the big dick, but as I mentioned in my last post he got in deep enough to hit areas where I wasn't clean and that sorta messed that up 'cause I had to push out his sweet poz cum when I got home to clean up. I then looked all afternoon for more poz tops, but just couldn't make anything work. So finally I decided I'd try out one of the bathhouses here. There's one that caters more to older guys and bears. To get a room you have to have a membership and memberships are only sold during particular times. The bathhouse is surrounded by office buildings so I figured after work would be the best time, but they didn't sell memberships until 7 (until 10). So I went later. It was actually a lot busier than I thought it would be but the problem was being later no one was in a hurry. I had a fair amount of attention, but no one was looking to get off quick. They wanted to go around and sample the goods. I walked around at one point and the other problem was there were a bunch of other beefy daddies on their bellies so I had competition. And the other problem was that probably half the guys refused to fuck without a condom. I had thrown all the condoms in the trash and didn't see the point of pulling one out to get fucked. I really wasn't there to get fucked - I was there to take loads. Then there was the problem of completely unattractive guys. This one grandpa came into my room and he was just saggy and gross. I could deal with it when I was just sucking his cock, but when he insisted I suck on his saggy nipple I just had to say 'no'. Two guys did fuck me. With one I was sucking him off and then offered my ass. He fucked for maybe a minute or two and then stopped and said he wasn't ready to cum and he'd be back. (He never did come back). The other guy looked like he had AIDS - there was something about him - like he had been poz for 20+ years... I wouldn't call him attractive - he looked more toxic. With him I also went from blowjob to fuck and then he stopped and said he'd come back. When he pulled out I noticed what I thought was 'mess' on the sheets so I got a little paranoid. I had bought a ball douche earlier that day so I ran to the bathroom and tried to clean out some more. Turns out I wasn't really dirty (didn't know how I could be - I hadn't eaten in a day) - it was just a little anal mucus with some blood in it. He actually did come back and we repeated the whole process. The problem was even though I was telling him to cum in my ass, he pulled out when he came. He did coat my ass with cum, and then some spilled on the ground. He had this nervous grin on his face and then he grabbed his towel and ran out of my room. I was left scooping his cum off the floor and fingering it into my hole. I needed a load in my ass so the night wouldn't be a total waste... I'll go back and try it again sometime but I want to go during lunch or right after work (5 to 7ish). I wanna be there when guys need to get off quick so they can get back to work or get home to the unsuspecting boyfriend or wife. I'm thinking tomorrow I'll go there for a "liquid lunch"... More...

See Bear4PozLoads original blog post... The last week or so I've sorta lost my mojo when it comes to getting fucked. The problem is I just don't enjoy it. I am mostly a top, after all and now I'm seeing I'm really just not a bottom. It seems like nearly all the tops who want to fuck me have these huge dicks and it's just no fun getting split in two. It's fucking painful - like someone is sticking a red hot poker up my ass. Even little dicks are painful for the first few minutes and even with them sometimes the pain just doesn't stop. Then on top of everything most of the guys fucking me are "undetectable" and so I wonder what's the point of going through so much pain if there's not much chance I'm going to get what I really want. I mean the whole point of me getting fucked is so I can become poz. If a high viral load top came along I'd endure anything to get his load and if he split me in two and made me bleed that would be a good thing 'cause it's more likely he'd knock me up. But why go through all that when the guy is undetectable and shooting blanks? So I'm starting to re-evaluate and slow down a bit. I changed my BBRT profile to say I'm not really interested in big dick tops who are undetectable - that I really want loads that are toxic. We'll see who comes along... More...

See Bear4PozLoads original blog post... Well, I think I might have gotten what I've been looking for. Almost exactly two weeks after my last fuck (13 days), I started feeling like crap. Actually, looking back it sorta built gradually, but there was a day when I realized something wasn't quite right. I'm achey all over (my teeth hurt like hell), I get really tired really quickly, and I've got a constant dull headache. And, worst - my dick is useless. It just doesn't get hard and it's almost impossible to jack off. I can muster enough energy to do day-to-day stuff, but if I'm out for the day I just crash when I get back. The NIH has the following list of symptoms for acute HIV infection (aka "fuck flu")... * Decreased appetite * Fatigue * Fever * Headache * Malaise * Muscle stiffness or aching * Rash * Sore throat * Swollen lymph glands * Ulcers of the mouth and esophagus The fuck two weeks before all of this was the black guy who wasn't on meds. Looks like I haven't written up the fuck - need to do that... I just can't wait until all this passes and I'm back to seeding ass. I'm going to wait until next year to get tested for a variety of reasons. It'll be interesting fucking guys who say they're neg in the meantime not really knowing my status but suspecting I'm poz... More...

See Bear4PozLoads original blog post... The unmedicated black poz top fucked me again. This time I got him to take it easier on my ass. Still felt really painful, but there's just something in me that likes the idea of taking a truly toxic load. Thing is, it's a week later and I feel like shit. Last time it was 2 weeks later. I wonder if it's not my body reacting to taking his load. My libido is pretty low and I get tired really easily and get some weird aches. Aren't you only supposed to get the fuck flu once? It's not bad or anything, but it's like every time I take his load it has an impact on me. I've heard that even poz guys can be impacted by taking loads from poz guys with high viral loads - maybe it's something like that... All I know is there seems to be something about taking loads from him - they're definitely not benign. Otherwise, I've gotten to the point where I'm only really interested in taking loads from unmedicated poz tops. I'm sorta over undetectable guys. I just don't see the point of going through all that when they're shooting blanks. I found a few more guys who aren't on meds, but timing hasn't worked out with them. More...

I had the same problem at East Side Club when I went a few months ago. Seemed about half the guys who wanted to fuck me insisted on using a condom. I refused (of course), but it really cut down on the number of fucks.

I'm not a very good bottom - it's really painful for me to get fucked and I tend to bleed when the top is big or fucks me rough. So I like average sized dicks - it just feels better... Plus really big dicks (over 9") tend to push past the point where I'm clean and then there are problems. The problem is most of the guys who want to fuck me seems to be these black guys who are hung and thick.

I haven't taken that many loads yet. Had one in me today and went to take a piss (standing) and the load in my ass leaked out all of a sudden. Given that you sorta have to relax things down there to piss, how do you keep the load in you when you need to piss? Any experienced bottoms have suggestions?

Went to this black guy's place and got a load today. He just had this big room in an old run down rooming house - sorta sleazy. He just treated me like a hole and was done in less than 10 minutes.

8 so far this year, but I've only recently really started taking loads (just a few random ones before the last month or so). 4 of those 8 were this past Monday. Hopefully the number will go up pretty quickly...

Five guys fucked me last night. Got 4 loads. Turned down 2 loads today 'cause I was busy and my hole needed a break - so coulda been 6 in 24 hours. Prior to yesterday I'd only ever taken 6 loads total (other than YEARS ago with a boyfriend)...

Tonight I traveled to the tops' apartments - Got fucked by 5 guys in about 3 hours and got 4 loads... By the last two fucks there was a puddle of cum under where we fucked I had so much in my ass...