leatherpunk16

Hey, welcome back! I too am returning to the porn world in the coming year. I've already got a couple things lined up, and one in the works. Hoping to make a better go of things on this second round.

13 hours ago, Humanurinal said:

I appreciate your honesty. I wish I knew what makes this burning need inside of me to wanna get it. I don't understand where it comes from. I don'teven understand where the idea came into my head. It just showed up one day and it hasn't left. I used to work with a guy who had HIV. He was constantly sick and when he had a herpes outbreak it was a nightmare. He lost lots of weight. He had so many health issues. And I see guys on the site that glorify it as being something magical and it feeds that desire I have all over again.

I appreciate guys like you because you tell it like it is.

You sound a lot like me. I'm looking over the fence these days, and the logical part of my brain tells me not to do this. But my dick is super hard just thinking about what a weapon I have here, and all the fun things I can do with it once it's charged up. I am not actively chasing, but my subconscious appears to be. The angel on my shoulder is protecting me from going there, but the devil on the other shoulder is jacking off to the idea of pursuit.

It's a disease, bro. You may have the benefit of great sex, but why can't one enjoy that without getting sick from it? You enjoy being sick? I don't. I don't do well with sick, because when I'm down with a flu or whatever, I barely function. It takes away from your life and things you'd much rather do.

On BZ, we talk about getting pozzed like it's this wonderful thing, and while it improves the sex life of many, there are many many more who wish they didn't have it and the medical bills that come with it. And the stigmas that still exist. The stories in the fiction section are just that - stories. That's not how real people live. You don't have to be a character in one of them, no matter how glamorous their lives seem.

5 hours ago, ShootDownMyThroat said:

I just got back from a bar here in New York where I met a guy currently doing professional bareback porn. He was fun to talk to—a real pig, and we both got good and horny sitting there drinking whiskey and talking dirty—but when I asked him if making porn was as good as everybody’s fantasy about making porn, well, he was a lot less fun to talk with. I mean, he was very nice about it, didn’t have anything bad to say about anybody, but he was not at all as enthusiastic as I’d expect. It seemed to be two things—the stuff that goes on in the industry, and the way some people who see his films treat him—that made him a little bitter. (He actually thanked me for not being one of the jerks, and then changed the subject.)

 

It was a bummer. Which guy has not dreamed of putting a permanent record of his sluttiest self out there in the world? I mean, I have personal videos of me gulping down loads, and another of me breeding a very handsome photogenic guy, and if it weren’t for family- and work-related concerns I’d put them up for everyone to see. Are there porn performers here who get the rush I think I’d get from letting the whole world watch them having the kind of sleazy hungry sex men are meant to have?

 

 

I can tell you from personal experience that the porn world can be brutal. People will say, "Comes with the territory," but that's no excuse for being horrible to others. It is a business, and that means you be a professional and good to the people who support the kind of work you do. I walked out on one of my shoots because the director was so abusive. Like, verbally and mentally abusive to the point that I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't stay hard, and I couldn't perform. No amount of criticism has ever positively inspired someone to do better. In any field, or in personal relationships.

Let me tell a story. When I was a cam model for Randy Blue, I had a guest one night who was so entertained by my show that he asked me to shoot for him. In my biography, I renamed him Yves, so that's the name I'll use here. Yves is the director for a minor studio that does both gay and straight porn on the east coast. He sent me a private message after my show on RB, and asked if I'd be interested in shooting at his studio in the spring. Of course, I accepted, but when I did my research on the studio later, I found that their content was not very popular, and it was web-based only. There was also no budget for it. Naturally, this gave me pause, but I went ahead with it, believing that I needed to get my feet wet somehow. After we had signed the agreement, Yves asked me to cam for him also. Looking to expand my market, I accepted this, and joined a very popular cam site. This proved to be a fatal mistake. In three months of working for Yves on his site, I made a whopping sixty-two dollars. It was laughably pathetic. I would work my ass off for three or four hours three times a week and make very little money. I also didn't like that the site recorded my private shows to resell to third parties, a fact I didn't know about beforehand. And of course, things went wrong. Some of the shows were simply not good; one time the camera froze up; another time the connection was shit. The weaker shows I could hide, but the ones that I couldn't hide - due to a limit on how many can be hidden - were laid bare to everyone to see and spend good money on. And I wasn't paid for these either.

I had trouble getting people in my room, and getting them to stay. I did my best to acknowledge people as they arrived, and tried to come up with interesting shows for public view, but my resources were quickly exhausted. I found myself quite frustrated with the lack of progress, so I posted in the help forums for advice on what I might do. Other models accused me of whinging when I didn't think I was, and offered practically nothing in the way of support. I would occasionally get passive-aggressive texts from Yves the night after a show. Some choice memories:

- Nice to see you working on Randy Blue last night.

- Don't mention RB on your shows. That sounds like a redirect and makes us look bad.

- You need to show more more dick. [sic]

- Your show sucked last night. How to improve it is up to you.

After several weeks of this, Yves told me "I have deleted your whiny posts in the forum. That's not what this site is about. Is it okay if we postpone your shoot a month? I can't devote the time to you right now, and your scene partner won't be available again until July."  I was not happy about it. He slapped my hand, cheated me out of my earnings, and cancelled my shoot. I later found out that he was lying. My shoot was supposed to occur over IML weekend, but not at the event. He didn't have the time to do it. But when I got back, I found several stills of a film they shot over the weekend with different models. Inquiries to the models verified that Yves had indeed lied to me. He sent me a cheque, saying "Most models make this in one night." I told him, "Most models have managers who don't lie to them and treat them like an option instead of a priority, especially when they've made an official agreement." When I asked to reschedule the shoot in July, he told me "You're not worth my time. Give up." I simply said, "Ditto."

After receiving the cheque, I deposited it immediately, and then told him, "You're a fucking joke. You lied to me about my shoot, you had no ideas for improving my shows except that I should just figure it out, and you used me in ways that are beneath a professional standard. When you figure out that what you did was wrong, you'll let me know. I suspect I'll be waiting a long time." And I never heard from Yves again. I continue to be astonished that some of these porn producers have no respect for their models: they underpay them, they treat them as expendable even though they are NECESSARY to complete their projects, they disrespect them both publicly and privately, and while they have strong artistic vision, they lack business sense and integrity.

I have not had the pleasure of WS after sex. As a guy who is mostly a top, I can't switch the plumbing over to urinate after cumming. It just doesn't happen for a while, which I find really disappointing. Hasn't ever been done to me, either.

Look up Shannon O'Feral. That's my new porn name. I follow back newcomers and guys with interesting content.

I had been playing with this couple on a regular basis, and one night, the piggy one (Jim) pulled me into his bathroom. He sat me down in his shower, told me to be still, and let out a weak stream of piss that barely got to me. It was certainly warm, and smelled a little smoky. The next time we played together, I asked him to repeat it. He did, and it was better. He let loose on my face and chest, so I lowered my head and got a real golden shower. I loved it! Couldn't get enough after that, but his piss seldom lived up to the expectation.

Later, piss became one of my kinks. When I met my late husband, I knew this dude was kinky. So for our third date, I took him to a monthly piss party. He met a cute Asian gymnast, and when the gymnast pulled his dick out, Mark thought "He wants me to suck it." NOPE! Mark got a mouthful of piss, and swallowed. Then he came to tell me what he did. I was drunk, so I shouted to the others at the party that a first-time visitor just got his first yellow load. No fanfare. Not one real response. Later, I was so drunk that I raped Mark at the bar. We moved to the cage and fucked, and these two men watched us from both sides. In true porn star fashion, I came all over Mark's chest. The two guys washed it off with their piss before Mark could taste it. He was so mad.

A week later, he asked me to marry him. <3

If you know about it, I wouldn't say it counts as a stealth.

1 hour ago, Monster5-8gPA said:

Your list sounds like a hot time!

just a couple of suggestions, lol

When you say “do a” is that as a top or bottom or both? 

Is the poz guy undetectable or HVL as a bottom or top? Preferably HVL bareback as a bottom??

pnp play as a bottom??

gear play, jocks, sports gear, leather, rubber??

Cbt??

bondage??

sensory deprivation??

do a twink??

You take a fist for first time??

get fucked by a pierced cock??

get an std??

take a 3” diameter by 12” dildo at least 10” in your ass??

give head and bottom for a bareback cock through a glory hole??

be the cumdump at a bareback orgy??

attend and have sex with at least 4 guys all bareback at IML??

attend and have sex with at least 4 guys all bareback at Cumunion??

 

Happy 2019 to you stud!

You've got a lot of ideas! It really depends on the partner whether I top or bottom. I know for certain I won't pnp. My husband was killed by a guy who pnp'd so heavily that my husband went into shock and seizure. Almost died. Then he dropped dead two weeks later as a result of his injuries. So no pnp for me.

I would prefer to not get any STDs, but that kinda comes with the territory. If it happens, then it happens, and I will deal with it.

I definitely need a night of cumdumpness.

These are all things that I would like to happen. We'll see which ones get crossed off the list.

Hey pigs! I've decided to make a fuck-it list for the coming year. This should be filled with experiences and types of guys I should have sex with. I'm looking for things to add that I might not have thought of, so I am making a post about it. What would you add to the list? Here's what I've got so far.

- do a muscle guy

- do a black guy with a huge dong

- do a fat guy

- do an older gentleman

- do a poz guy

- do a porn star

- make a bareback film

- try felching

- do an FTM/ trans person

- elbow deep fisting, deeper if the bottom can handle it

- get the dick pierced and breed someone with it

- sex in the mud / outdoor sex

- public sex

Did I miss anything?

My first bb experience was in 2003. I was hooking up with a married black guy who had a massive dong and high sex drive. He plowed me in his basement while his wife was upstairs shoveling snow. It was amazing. I tried to get him to go bb with me after that, but he wouldn't do it. Years later, I hooked up with a couple, and on our first playdate, I fucked 'em both raw. I had never done that before, but the opportunity was there, and since they didn't push the condom thing, I just went with it. And for the next three years, we'd always play raw. It was great fun. When they become unavailable to me after that time, I would alternate between condoms and raw, depending on my mood and the guy I was with. If he was poz, I'd rubber up. 'Undetectable' was not a known word at the time. If a guy wanted my raw load, I gave it to him. When I was doing porn, I requested condoms, and they were given to me, but I didn't have nearly as much fun, but the guy usually put them on wrong anyway, thus negating the point of having them.

Now the only kind of sex I have is unprotected. Raw is Law! Since my husband died, I've been barebacking my way through hookups.

The first time I had gono, I had to tell my fuckbuds. I had played with them in the timeline that I acquired it, and told them to be on the lookout for any symptoms. They had nothing at all. Or so they said.

I got my injection, and let them know I was going to be fine. They actually invited me to come and fuck them that same night. The same day I got the treatment. The doctor had told me "No sexual contact for two weeks." But my buds told me that I was fine. So I went anyway, against medical advice, and we fucked again. They never had the gono, nor did I get it back. A most singular occurrence.

This is all kinds of fucked up.

12 hours ago, lone_wolf said:

I completely agree. I think a part of you becomes the virus. I think about constantly being to POZ and infect, the more innocent or harder the challenge the more I MUST do it. I take huge pride in bringing down their destruction and seeing the cycle of sleaze continue.

Ironic, isn't it. The virus must take hold and replicate itself, and when it controls you to spread it around, it is doing its job. You become not only its host, but also its manufacturer. And the gift goes on. And on and on and on.

Venom was right.  

This must be part of the allure of conversion. The control. The lack of control. The monsters dwelling inside us. The toxic spew that is continually producing itself.

I've got a friend who was pretty tame in his sex life when I met him. Then his boyfriend pozzed him by accident - neither of them knew he had it. Now this friend is a major whore, and I observed him get pounded by at least 12 guys in one night.

14 hours ago, Chargedupslut said:

Agreed!  I have exchanged several emails back and forth with them but they seem to only want people who are local there in New York.  The response I got from them was "if you're ever in New York, let us know and we'll bring you in for an interview" but then when I said I would absolutely come to New York on my own dime, the guy started backtracking and making it more difficult ("we would need a month's notice", "we cant see anybody on weekends", etc).  So I guess they're not interested.  But why not just SAY that rather than give me false hope?  Grrrrrrrr

They told me the same shit. I was told to not make a special trip because they don't want a guarantee.

Related pro-tip: NEVER mix things like Maximum Impact with Viagra! The combo of the two can actually stop one's heart. Nothing kills a scene harder than a dead body.

I actually looked up "Sick Fucks" and the scene that started this topic. It's pretty damn twisted. That said, I think I would enjoy this film. It's a level of darkness that one doesn't see too often in porn.

I posted this in another topic, but I think it's relevant here, too.

It has crossed my mind that if I took one of those quick tests at a bathhouse - because sometimes places like Steamworks offers a testing night - and got a poz result, I would instantly go and do what I can to charge up the house. Take it out on the world. THAT kind of behavior might be considered insane. I think part of it is the primal need to "spread it around", and we men are genetically programmed to do just that. With a poz status, some of us are just amplified. Others are not, and wish to keep it to themselves by getting on the medications straight away.

Not all of us are like Kefka, and say "What fun is destruction if no precious lives are lost?".

5 hours ago, seaguy said:

Victor Cody films his videos in the Fort Lauderdale area and he prefers poz models his site states, since he does not test.

Owen Hawk was the same way. He refused to work with neg guys. Apparently poz guys make better sex scenes! That's what I got out of it, anyway.

5 hours ago, seaguy said:

Well it sounds like the condom was worth it if it allowed you to do the video but keep the bf.  I didn't really pay attention to how he put it on but was that by accident do you think?

I don't know if it was by accident, but I saw him do it while we were filming, and I didn't want to stop him.

As for keeping the bf... that lasted only a few months longer. By the end of the year, we were ready to break up. And it was a good thing, because seven weeks later, I met the love of my life. And we had a beautiful two year relationship. That old bf wasn't worthy of me.

3 hours ago, seaguy said:

You must be the homeless guy then.  You cleaned up very nicely,and Michael's cock looks like it would be great to take in the ass I just wish he hadn't put that damn rubber on in that scene.

Fuck me for cleaning up.

It was a great pounding, but that condom was one of the requirements of my shooting the film. I was in love at the time with my first boyfriend, and the only way I could do the film without losing him was to use condoms in the shoot. (Did you also notice he put in on wrong? Touched it to his dick, discovered it was backwards, so he flipped it over, essentially ruining the condom at all.)

I was in "Feeding the Homeless" with Michael Phoenix in 2015. Did the cam thing for a while with Randy Blue, and was a popular escort in the summer of 2014. Got out of the industry after my film came out, but lately I want to go back and give it a second go.

How about the guys who tell you that "you are so amazingly hot" and "I want to feel you deep inside me." But you look at their location, and they are miles from you, sometimes different states not near you, or even different countries. Still they tell you to "come over," as if you have their address and it's just a quick trip across town.  DID YOU NOT FUCKING LOOK AT MY PROFILE??? Think about the reality of this, dumbass. I'm in Illinois - you are in Spain. How the F am I supposed to just ... ugh!

2 hours ago, sleazyskank said:

Curious to know how long it takes for these STIs to make themselves known. Any information would be appreciated.

It varies. Most can appear in just a few days, and others can take a lot longer. I had gono for nearly three months before it finally turned up. But I hear syph can lie dormant for even longer periods.

That was certainly interesting! Even if there's no more, it's a good story. Thanks for sharing it.