leatherpunk16

I did many times, but the one that stands out the most is an instance I regretted. I met Grant in the winter of 2010 through Craigslist. We went to the same gym, and he invited me over one chilly night. We had a date that felt like an obligation he didn't want. A lot of things were just OFF but I couldn't figure out what it all meant. When we went upstairs for sex, he moaned like he hadn't been touched in forever, and was trying to keep from blowing his load. When he did, he shot all over himself, and I was trying to be sexy, so I slurped it up. He said, "I wish you hadn't done that." He wasn't having any part of me fucking him, condomed or not, and when it was over and time to go, he gave me his phone number. That was the last I saw of him.

Maybe ten days later, I was in rehearsal for a Christmas concert when my dick exploded with burning and pain. And wetness. I wouldn't find out for a MONTH that it was gono. I simply couldn't get to a doctor to fix whatever I had. I knew something was wrong. Didn't want to communicate it to Grant until I knew for sure what I had. When I rang him up after treatment, he barely remembered me, denied having any bugs, and quickly hung up on me. So yeah, I felt the need to taste it, and it backfired. 

The fucked up part: I saw Grant on a TV news broadcast many months later, or rather, someone with his name. Didn't match the guy I hooked up with at all, and all the red flags I saw made sense: he was housesitting, used the homeowner's name as his own, and when I talked to Grant on the phone, it was the actual Grant and not the guy I played with. No wonder he denied it! It wasn't actually him!

Damn, my stories are effed up.

Just now, pozthispup said:

I'm local and we can give it another shot, seeing that we're into a lot of the same. 

Message me.

For my part, bbrt is a barren field of men who want to look, not fuck. Bad photos, info that is obviously wrong (you are NOT 99 and on this site), drug problems, and vagueness. I've met maybe two guys, but sex? Probably not.

I try to acknowledge the people who visit my profile - I thank them for the oink or unlock, and that's usually all that happens. There are a few who keep coming back and checking out the profile, but they often don't say anything. Are they interested? I can't tell. And there are certainly guys I will be interested in, but damned if I get any reaction. Once in a while, someone DOES have something to say, but it's a rarity. The only reason I keep it is because I believe it will work out for me one of these days. I'm an optimist, but even I have limits.

It's looking like it got cancelled mid-season. That makes me a saaaaaad panda. 

never had the pleasure other than smearing my own all over

1 hour ago, austin_submale said:

From what I've read freezing cum pretty much kills most of what might make the biohazard sticker meaningful.  But an interesting idea.

 

Then by that reasoning, observe the following:

In the summer of 2020, I started freezing my cum in syringes. Midway through this activity, I got a surprise round of gono. I might have collected some of it in one of the syringes, and I neglected to toss it out. I really don't remember. 

Is it possible to reinfect myself if I use it? After all this time, I should hope not! Anyone know? 

It's possible I've shared this story before in this thread, but I don't remember it, so excuse the duplication.

When I was 17, I lived in a quad-plex apartment building. All the homes were one-story, and shared the basement. We could actually get to each other's basements simply by walking through our own. My neighbour Jeff was 15 and kept his bedroom down there, and we became friends. We'd listen to music, play video games, smoke a ton of tobacco, and watch straight porn. He also took booze from his dad's liquor cabinet, and we got tipsy on a few occasions. And one drunken night, he asked me to suck his dick. I knew I was gay by this point in my growth, so I did. He didn't cum, but eventually asked me to kick it up a notch. I misread that as "fuck me in the ass", so that's what I did. He seemed surprised, but it didn't register at the time. I got the lotion we used for jerking off together, lubed us both up, and nailed him. Took his virginity, and after I came hard in his butt, he didn't say a word. I lay on the bed, exhausted, and swimming in excitement and relief. When I came out of my stupor, there was Jeff, smoking and just silently staring at me across the room. 

But this story doesn't have a happy ending. A few days later, I went to visit my buddy, and his dad told me that Jeff tried to kill himself, and was in the hospital under watch. I got really scared when his dad told me not to come back to his apartment or hang out with his boy anymore. He must have known what happened. Did Jeff tell him? I never got an answer.

A couple weeks later, Jeff returned to me, and we never really talked about it. His dad moved his home across town suddenly, and that was the last I saw of them. I must have been the reason - I'm sure of it. But I'm glad I got to do this with a trusted friend who probably couldn't handle the notion that he might be gay. I wonder where Jeff is nowadays?

Those of you who have followed me or my posts for a while might remember that I sometimes get to do porn films. My dick is of average length and girth - a fair 6 and a quarter inches. But in porn, it's almost required to have a large dong. One studio in particular (Dickwadd, I think) told me that I will never perform for them because I'm not 8 inches, and even if one is a bottom, it's still a requirement. Smaller dicks just don't photograph that well, and that's a marketing point. The only studio film I was top in was for AlternaDudes, and largely because my scene partner was a full bottom. Everything else saw me as a bottom, and actually, I rather like that! 

But having this dick size has been a major block to my career success. I can't do much more with it than what Sayten gave me, so I have to rely on other skills to get me on the short list. I try not to let it get to me. Out of all the millions of men on the planet, SOMEBODY has to carry the smallest dick. While it may be an object of ridicule to some people, let's look at it like this. I'm reminded of a line spoken by a woman on a TV show, Will and Grace I think. She references her boobs, which are admittedly small, and she cheerfully says, "It's not much, but they're mine." 

Hard to inject positivity into this. Check back with me later, I might have a better answer then.

1 hour ago, ErosWired said:

Bear in mind that this estimate means that once you’ve taken bare cock up your ass 10,000 times, infection is a near certainty. So…pace yourself. Don’t do it all in a week.

But that's definitely a good goal to work toward! LOL

2 hours ago, graceling said:

Thanks! What do you mean? Is there something you don't like about the writing? Feedback is welcome, I wanna improve.

I think they mean "great BIT OF writing". Phones do that autocorrect thing for those two words, not realizing the context of what is actually being said. 

13 hours ago, drscorpio said:

Moderator's Note: I am a little disturbed by this story. It clearly approaches violating the rule against promoting harm to our community. Since  you managed to make it into a redemptive arc, I am going to let it ride. Be mindful of this going forward. 

Fuck "going forward". Do not use this garbage phrase that adds nothing to your sentence.

The ending seems a bit abrupt, but okay. 

Let me echo the others in saying we hope you come back. 

Wanna hear something I thought was fucked up? 

I met this young guy Gustave at a leather event last weekend. He wants to get messy with me and do some gunge play. When I told him that it would probably lead to me breeding him, he insisted on condom use because he's not on Prep. 

Why was my first thought, "We need to get him positive first"??? Given that he's insistent on using protection, I don't think that's gonna be possible. And second, I haven't got it so it can't come from me. But why did I suddenly go THERE? 

Possibly an echo of an old life.

I don't think the problem is you. You took the time to fill in all the slots instead of leaving all of them "ask me". And you're direct about what you seek. I've also experienced annoying people on that site, and it's generally them. These places are full of such people who do not have a concept of other people's time.

But... you may wish to shorten the last sentence about your vaccinations. It's good you state that, but maybe a shorter line would be better. Such as "covid/monkeypox vaxxed". Then you have a few more characters to insert if you think of something else to add to it. 

Definitely the fuck. A lot of times, I don't get the load. My visit to the bathhouse a couple months back illustrated this. I bent over for a few men, and when they started fucking me, we'd get the juices going, and then they'd just stop. Like they got bored. So they went in search of other holes. Generally I can't feel it when I get the load, and since many men have plowed deeply, they can deposit one, and I'd never see it or feel it. So they can lie and I'd have no choice but believe them.

But I really think I don't get them, and it's exactly what I think is happening. I've therefore learned to appreciate what dick I get, and the cream filling is just a bonus. 

Someday it will be an extra special bonus. 

2 hours ago, Nullo-sub-N8 said:

Definitely Christian Mitchell. 

He's around here. Hit him up. 

6 hours ago, Hintyt said:

Being poz is even better than imagined!

Care to share how and why? What has changed for you? What has got better? 

It's Friday now. What was your turnout like?

Every time I fire up a cigar, I feel a stirring in my dick. It's actually pretty mild, and subsides shortly. As if it rolled over in slumber. 

The disease would be considered far more dangerous if, when transmitted, the recipient just picked up where the last host left off. I don't know of any virus that operates that fast. I suppose I should be quiet, lest it be a challenge for the bugs to step up their game. Lol

The very transactional "Just fuck me, sir". 

Okay, you're a cumdump. Anything else? So generic, and you want me to give you my spunk. What do I get? A hole to unload in. That's easy enough to find, so you're not special. These types usually have only one pic, and it's usually a grainy photo of their buttcheeks, or them lying face down in a dark room, but you (annoyingly) can't see anything physical about them beyond that. And the profile is blank. 

That certainly has its appeal, but one must be careful to not burn yourself or the partner (unless you are into that), and avoiding setting fire to one's bed or carpet. Really a mood killer.

When I started my porn career, I got my start with camming on Randy Blue. I had my own private room, and the guests of the website would pop in and see if their favourite model was on. A lot of times they were just there to watch, but many people bought private shows from me, and sometimes others would peek in on these shows. All of this made me some money. I set my own prices, and a lot of the time on my shows, I would either sit and wait for something to happen, or we'd just end up talking. I didn't get paid for that - it was only the private shows that made the money. 

Of course, on a private show, I was expected to perform. Put a quarter in the box, and watch me go. Jerk off with me if you like. I had only one client who came in toward the end who didn't want any sex show, but just to talk. Really a kind man, and he helped me through a very difficult summer with his generosity and talking out issues. I even lowered my rates for this guy just so we could keep talking. 

But by August, they all stopped coming, and so had I. Too often I'd sit in front of my labtop for three hours late into the night, and not one person would come by. Really boring, and wasteful. I value my sleep, so one can see how frustrating this was for me. And I stopped checking in. Partly because I found something that made me way more money for a lot less investment. I'm not allowed to say WHAT because it violates the rules of BZ, but let's just say that lately I can't even GIVE it away! LOL 

My cam time ended in September. I checked in only once or twice that month before abandoning it. 

Camming was good for me. It got me comfortable with the camera, helped me build some reputation, and I met some interesting people. One of them was actually local to me, and he became a long-term supporter of my opera company. Go figure. The money wasn't much, but remember it was 2014, and a dollar went farther then (just not on petrol). I made a laughable amount camming, less than 1k over eight months, but I didn't care. It helped me start a new journey, and I have no regerts. 

I might be killing the fantasy here, but wouldn't that be a rejection of their sexual identity? Several years back, I met a person who transitioned to male, and I fisted him. For a while after that, I had this fantasy of fucking his pussy to get him pregnant. It was then I realized that such an act would be kinda rude, and a rejection of his identity as a male. Never got the nerve to ask, and so never did it. 

I wonder if the internal parts are removed in this process so this can never happen?

I would want the power to make people do things I desire. Willingly, of course. Not forced or pressured, but like they have no choice in the matter, and they recognize the benefits of doing what I choose.

That hot guy at the gym? He goes on a date with me.

The really cool job that pays well? It's mine.

An excellent singer? She's in my show.

That bitch at the store? She shuts her damn mouth when she's told to.

I'm sure I could find ways to benefit others who sorely need the help with this power. Pretty damn useful.