MomentofReflection
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Would I personally do it? Absolutely not. Issues with the age notwithstanding, I and most Poz folks are horrified by the idea of “gifting”. I think it’s absolutely important to recognize that someone in your scenario has no special obligation not to. But that’s the sort of extreme that rarely applies IRL. I think the better question is whether someone with an undetectable viral load is actually somehow violating the “consent” of a 25 year old bathhouse patron who demands their randos be “clean”. Whenever you hear someone talking about “consent” or our “obligations as hiv+ people”, it almost always circles back to these insane, absolutist ideologies that have people with HIV being treated like Frankenstein’s Monster for no good reason.
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Your own words put the burden of prevention on folks with HIV. It’s immaterial whether you mean the whole burden or just most of it-both ways you’re arguing a stigmatizing, ineffective prevention line that ruins Poz folks lives and has never been shown to protect anyone. You don’t just get to shut me down and pretend it’s all trolling just because you don’t like getting pushback on that. If you didn’t want to have this kind of argument here, you shouldn’t have initiated by sharing your opinion that Poz folks have some Special duty.
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No, actually, the virus isn’t still “gaining ground” in those of us who are on treatment, at least not towards “AIDS” as you describe it. The overall estimate is that for the “average” HIV+ person, hiv + status decreases life expectancy by two years; http://www.aidsmap.com/Life-expectancy-in-HIV-positive-people-in-the-US-still-lags-13-years-behind-HIV-negative-people/page/3040314/ Of course, that figure is significantly better if you remove instances of gross medical malpractice like your own. As for HIV as somehow still being “fatal” because I take ARV; no. That’s not how it works. That’s not how we describe any disease. We don’t describe Syphilis as fatal because it is without treatment. We don’t describe diabetes as fatal because it is without treatment. The only way you can say there’s some special responsibility is to buy into the constant stigma against people with HIV. And as I’ve said before, I think those of us who are positive deserve better than to be hit upside the head with yet more stigma in a site that pretends to be some kind of enlightened.
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LMFAO. You’re being overly detail oriented in an attempt to wiggle out of what you were clearly saying. If a Poz person has “the most responsibility” and something about consent, that almost always alludes to some obligation to do the following; -always use a condom -always disclose -be undetectable anyways just in case 1 & 2 wasn’t enough protection for whomever wasn’t scared off -know all facts about HIV to help randos who have “anxiety”. Whats the burden that you’re placing on the hiv-? Typically we hear some combination of; -get tested -take prep -always demand to know other people’s status even though you’re not actually at risk (see item one). so IOW, the duties that befall a Poz person are infinitely more burdensome and totally not in their own self interests. The duties that befall a negative person are of no real burden and are also coincidentally aligned with their own interests. But yeah, sure, since you’re trying to be pedantic I’ll concede to you that there is technically some small and relatively minor expectation on the negative in how this equation works. I don’t think yours was a valid rebuttal as it didn’t get to the heart of what we’re really discussing. My point was that these expectations are not effective, and they are inherently unfair to the Poz person as they impose a set of horrendous, crippling duties with not accompany utility. That Poz people further have basic human rights-to privacy and dignity-that are violated to by this “larger responsibility” that exists for no reason other than the coincidental production of antibodies.
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“Those that have the virus have the larger responsibility - whether or not to infect someone with a virus that's 100% fatal sooner or not. Those” i mean, that is quite literally what you said.
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Your story doesn’t suggest that HIV reduces life expectancy. It shows that medical incompetence reduces life expectancy. The fact that western medical professionals couldn’t guess “aids” in a very sexually active gay man with immune issues in 2014 is incredible. Thanks for sharing but your story is completely irrelevant to the point. YOUR life expectancy may have been reduced by gross medical incompetence, but the OVERALL life expectancy remains comparable to the OVERALL life expectancy of people without HIV. Ergo, it is not accurate to suggest it is “inevitably fatal”. In real life, the only people I’ve known who have died of AIDS are folks who are pushed into depression and then noncompliance by people like the OP, who make the condition one giant burden on the victim rather than the medical issue it is. If an overweight person with diabetes wasn’t diagnosed until they’d had digital amputations, developed neuropathy and renal failure, we wouldn’t go around pretending like the disease was a death sentence. The fact that we do this with HIV-that we never let ourselves acknowledge it as survival and no big deal for most people-is one of the many bizarre things about how we handle the virus. I was responding to the Original Posters demand that HIV+ people shoulder the burden of prevention. The reasons aren’t too clear, but there are echoes of the usual blame that society heaps on Poz folks. We, as people living with HIV, deserve better than this anti-scientific, fear laden moralizing. ESPECIALLY on a site dedicated to liberated sexual behaior. It’s a pity that you had to hop on the OPs bandwagon.
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Perhaps you’d care to tell us how your HIV became aids several years after the window in life expectancy began to close? It’s unfair to throw out a factoid like that without any context that would allow me to respond effectively. As for your “hit the road” comment; no. I have every bit as much right to be here as anyone else, and as someone stuck living with the consequences of all this “it’s your responsibility” talk, it’s incumbent on me to point out it’s absurdity and unfairness of these statements. If you’re so offended, maybe you should be the one to leave instead of trying to use your own incomplete life story to refute a premise (“near normal life expectancy”) that has been established for almost a decade now.
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This was such a lame fucking statement, and it really illustrates what’s wrong with this entire website. First, the difference in life expectancy between Poz and neg is now just a few months. So no, it’s not “100% fatal sooner or not”. Second, all that “Poz has responsibility” bullshit is a joke; There’s no evidence that putting the burden of prevention on Poz folk is effective prevention, no reason to suspect it might be, and no clear reason why HIV should be singled out and isolated above all other diseases without regard to the actual realities of life with the virus-those being that it’s really not a big deal. None of this even begins to touch on the fact that most people in the developed world who are diagnosed with HIV aren’t even infectious. Honestly, I know most bugchasers live completely in their heads, rarely leave their mothers’ basements and would run screaming from a partner who actually had the virus IRL, but at least do us the courtesy of googling basic facts about the virus before making broad moral edicts.
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I don’t call it harsh. Just stupid. When you’re fucking strangers, you have no idea what you’re getting. If you want the thrill of anonymous raw cock, take it. But this “I’m choosy about who knocks up my bussy” stuff just doesn’t hold water.
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Tell Me Your Thoughts On Hookup Sites/Apps & Finding Sex
MomentofReflection replied to rawTOP's topic in General Discussion
it’s going to depend on who you are. I’m Poz and a vers top. Gay culture has gotten considerably better towards Poz people, and everyone is now a bottom after PrEP. So that’s worked out in my favor. whats kinda weird about aps is that they’re cleaning off to represent different segments of the gay community. For instance, Scruff is very much a place for your kinky/middle class bears, growlr is your basement dwelling fat guys...there’s not a lot of overlap. That didn’t seem the case a few years ago. -
I fooled around with a guy in a bookstore a while ago. It was me, him and a really hot dude. The guy started cumming and he didn’t stop. We’re talking in excess of 20 shots of jizz, all over my face, beard and shirt. I wasn’t even even fully comprehending what was happening until the other dude exclaimed “holy shit”. And then the dude kept cumming for a good minute more. When it was all said and done, he actually apologized and tried to explain it away as having not cum in four days. This was waaaaaaay more than four days worth of jizz, but it matches the profile of hyperspermia guys I read online, who always seem embarsssed by the condition. My shirt was soaked, and when it dried it was more like a month old cumrag. Supposedly the condition affects some sizable minority of men, but this guy was definitely at the upper end of the spectrum.
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Hooking up with poz guys
MomentofReflection replied to Cdexter's topic in HIV/AIDS & Sexual Health Issues
(Rolls eyes). The meds haven’t caused those types of side effects in nearly fifteen years. Shit, hiv medicine abandoned that Truvada you people toss back like candy almost five years ago. Even it was improved upon for safer combos. The level of scaremongering and outright ignorance on a supposedly enlightened site is totally unacceptable. HIV is not “like diabetes”. It’s a helluva lot easier. -
There has literally never been a documented transmission from a person who was undetectable. Not in the six major studies they’ve run, the 22 years we’ve had combo therapy or the millions of serodiscordant couples that could have served as case studies. Even phrases like “almost zero” are wild exaggerations. Zero. The risk is zero. I say the risk is zero because there is factually no evidence of risk. Because the risk is undeniably higher from someone who says they’re negative. Because we don’t go around telling people there’s “some risk” they could get herpes from a doorknob, even though there’s just as much reason to be concerned about that.
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Ok, there’s a lot about this that got under my skin. For starters, the rate of coinfection is skewed by intravenous drug users and is probably not that high in Poz gay guys, though still high enough that it should be on your radar. First, anyone concerned should know that there is a STRONG correlation with heavy non injection drugs, particularly meth. So strong in fact that for more than a decade researchers weren’t even certain that sex alone could cause coinfection. second, the incidence of annual seroconversion to coinfection is nowhere near 10%. I don’t know what the actual figure is, but I’ve seen around 1/2 of 1% of non drug using Poz guys. The risk of coinfection appears to be highly exaggerated. In fact, despite all the fear mongering, 45% of confections in Poz guys are still attributed to IV drug use, NOT condomless sex. Third, the vast majority of people don’t progress as rapidly as the OP has suggested. The biggest concern I can think of is the recalcitrance of the insurance industry which does appear to drag its feet in authorizing treatment and may limit the number of treatments provided (meaning you’re in your own if reinfected). Fourth, there is and has always been a coordinated attack on the sexual freedom of hiv+ people. This is not our first time at the rodeo. We’ve seen all this fear mongering before with “reinfection”, which turned out to be almost nonexistent and a probable non-issue in the post ARV era. Instead of scare stories about coinfection we should be fighting for easier access to HCV meds and earlier diagnoses. It seems to me that all this pearl clutching about “coinfection” is yet another example of the double standard we see in sexual health, where the HIV- are provided endless opportunities to have th “sex they deserve”, while the hiv+ are browbeaten to keep our pants on.