funpozbottom

Here are a few other ones I'm working on:

"Musty Balls" (for Jingle Bells)

Musty Balls, Musty Balls, how I love that scent

I will lick your musty balls if you will pay my rent ...

"Away in a Dark Room" (for Away in a Manger)

Away in a Dark Room, where no one can see

I lay on a cold floor that's covered in pee

I love to feel urine flowing over my back

It drips down my body and fills up my crack ...

"Up On the Rooftop"

Up on the rooftop sucking dick

When you're in public they cum real quick

Strip off my clothes and then I pause

To flip my finger at obscenity laws ...

Just a few works in progress as I try to put the "HO" back into Holidays. 🎅

Having worked in the food industry for many years, I can tell you that food critics have very little sense of taste to begin with. What they do have is an over-inflated sense of self-importance. It wouldn't take much to strip away the facade. Upsetting his sense of self and disrupting his frame of reference would leave him unstable and unsure of his opinion. It would expose him as a charlatan and force him into a life of depravity as he fades into obscurity. 

You could also dice up every review he's ever written and make him literally eat his words. I'm sure that would also show how tasteless his opinions are. 😝

My version of "My Favorite Things"

Blow jobs and rim job and pre-cum in undies

Hard-ons that last me from Mondays to Sundays

Leather clad slave boys all tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things

Boy butts and cum sluts and urethral sounding

Sadistic tops give my hole a good pounding

Diapers and dildos, a paddle that stings

These are a few of my favorite things

When the whip breaks

When the cuff chafes

when my cock's rubbed sore

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I feel like .... A Whore.

On 11/23/2019 at 8:17 AM, BreedMeInVegas said:

I love how the climate change believers love to site science and irrefutable facts, yet there is one simple consideration they either avoid, or don't understand.

Recoded weather data goes back at the most 140-150 years.  Earth is estimated to be about 4.5 BILLION years old.  From a statistical standpoint, using 150 years of data to predict what a 14.5 BILLION year old planet will do, is not very sound science at all.  Predictions on what the earth will do is nothing but a guessing game, you can't even suggest it's an educated guess simply because there is not enough data to do so.  These guesses about what the climate will do is the same predictions that told us the ozone layer would disappear by the year 2000, or how in 12 years we'll be doomed.

One simple way to look at it when you see a daily temperature almost break a record high.  Then you see that record goes back to the early to mid 1900's.  If the earth is continually heating up, why aren't we setting new record highs every few years instead of 50-60 years, and sometimes we set them every few years?

The earth goes through cycles, ever heard of the ice age?  What ended the ice age, couldn't have been man made climate change unless the cave men had SUVs or were drinking out of plastic straws right?

And in regards to the biggest polluters, the US is not one of them.  80% of the trash in the ocean comes from 1000 rivers around the world, most of which are in Africa, and Asia.  The other 20% come from the other 30,000 rivers around the world.  China and India account for most of the air pollution in the world, yet climate treaties never specifically target them.

I am not an expert on climate but I can try to explain how some of the claims and predictions come about.

You say recorded weather data goes back about 140 years. It is true that "official" records for the United States only go back about that far. (The National Weather Service was created in 1890). There are however earlier local records plus records in European countries plus anecdotal records from diaries and crop reports. For even earlier data, scientists can examine core data (ice cores, sediment deposits, tree rings, etc) to determine climate data. That is of course inference and not hard data, plus it's only applicable to that one location, but with enough samples it can be useful to help determine trends and changes in climates.

You used the example of a daily record high temperature. Climate science isn't really concerned with daily fluctuations. Instead, it looks at trends based on a yearly average. If you add up all the high temperatures (and all the lows) and divide by the number of days, you end up with an average temperature for the year. If you compare that to previous years you can see whether the average temperature is trending up or down.

You said the earth goes through cycles. That in absolutely 100% true.  That's what makes climate science so difficult. Trying to separate naturally occurring cycles from man-made influences is what most of the debate is about. Data shows there is a correlation between the rise of industrialization and the rise in average global temperatures. It does not mean that one definitely caused the other, but that is the assumption and what the theory is based on.

Finally, you question who the biggest polluters are and ask why the U.S. is targeted. This has to do with the amount of pollution generated in relation to the size of it's population. If everything were equal, you would expect the amount of pollution a country produces to be proportional to the size of it's population. For example, China has 18.2% of the world population but accounts for 29.3% of carbon pollution so their output is higher than would be expected if everything were equal. India on the other hand, has 17.5% of the world population but accounts for only 6.6% of carbon pollution so much lower than you might expect. The United Sates is targeted because it only has 4.3% of the world population but accounts for 13.8% of carbon pollution -- second highest only behind China. But if you look at it on a per person basis, the U.S. produces three times the average so it's producing more carbon pollution per person than any other country. You see similar statistics if you look at the amount of plastics and other waste generated. China produces the most waste but if you divide it by population it ends up being about a half pound of waste per person per day. For India, it's about a quarter pound. For the United States, it's over a pound of trash per person per day. That said, the United States is far better at recycling and not dumping it all in the oceans, but it still could do a lot to reduce the amount of pollution that is created. Both China and the United States are the biggest polluters and changes in those countries would have the biggest impact on global pollution. One problem is that those two countries also drive the world economy so while reduced consumption would reduce pollution, it would also depress world economies. But that is a separate topic for debate.

As I said, I'm not an expert and I'm not saying any claims or predictions are true, I'm merely explaining the process and reasoning behind some of the claims that have been made.

The terms are frequently used interchangeably but there is a subtle difference in degrees of attraction between the two:

• A fetish is something non-sexual that a person finds sexually arousing and needs it to get off. A fetish will arouse you regardless of whether you are in a sexual situation.
• A kink is something outside the mainstream that enhances sexual enjoyment but is not essential to the act, and may not turn you on if you are not having sex.

It gets confusing because the same object can be either a kink or a fetish depending on the person's needs or attractions. Here are a couple examples of the difference:

1. Underwear. If you get turned on going to a store and touching the undies display, then its a fetish. If you like checking out the bulges of guys wearing underwear, then it's a kink.
2. Leather. Lets say you see a hot guy wearing leather that turns you on. Now imagine he take off his leather. If you lose interest in the guy and want to fuck the leather, then you've got a fetish. If you're still interested in the guy, then it's a kink.
3. Piss. If you like piss play with sex, it's a kink. If you hang out in restrooms because the sound of guys pissing turns you on, then it's a fetish.

So a kink is something that enhances sexual enjoyment while a fetish is an arousal and need for the thing itself. And just for the record, writing replies on obscure sex topics is definitely not my fetish. The fact I'm naked and hard is completely coincidental.... 

On 12/5/2019 at 5:23 PM, ChiDirtDog said:

When push comes to shove I'm not here to sell you the lifestyle. But a dude in a dog mask in a sling offering up some damn good hole (and other services!) is sure better than a "normal" guy in a towel walking circles endlessly and not doing shit. It's a litmus test both ways. I don't want boring. You engaging me tells me you aren't boring. Let's bang! 😉 Obviously I take it off plenty throughout the night, but it is cool I don't get shame bells rung or set on fire as I cruise for dicks. 

Wuf!   *sniffs butt*   *wags*

2 hours ago, Roughme101 said:

I consider myself a submissive bttm with a preference for older Dom tops.

I'll do anything the top wants it makes me so but when it comes to anal play I start to twist n turn things so I can get his raw cock in me, even if he wants to wrap up or just FF. Once inside I'll do anything they want n more but as I'm somewhat agresssive to be used bare can I still call myself a submissive??

In my opinion, an aggressive bottom takes control to fuck himself on the top's cock. He does all the work to make the top orgasm and milks as much cum out as he can. I usually hear that described as being a "power bottom". A submissive bottom follows the top's direction and allows himself to be used in any way the top desires (within the limits you define). I think most bottoms who are in tune with the top end up doing a mix of both to some extent. What you describe is being sort of passive-aggressive to be a bare only bottom. So I'd say you are a bare only submissive.

Some of this has been touched on already, but I think there are four main reasons that bottoms take and send dick pics.

1. Not everyone is a good photographer and it is easier to take a decent selfie from the front than from behind. Just think about how many pics you've seen that are blurred, badly lit, off center or taken in a mirror streaked with splattered toothpaste. Cameras are everywhere but few know how to use them.
2. Pics from multiple angles provide a better representation of the person than pics of only one body part. They say the camera doesn't lie, however there are ways to manipulate the pose to accent what you are aiming at. There's nothing wrong with getting a pic of the front -- you might flip him over and fuck him that way sometime.
3. Pics are seen as porn and not necessarily a "job application". Most guys -- including straight guys -- look at dicks in porn. While you may be only looking for an ass to fuck, others may find it erotic to see all sides. (This also leads into the fourth possibility)
4. Fakes phishing for return pics or other useful info. This is usually obvious when it's someone outside the area, but still a possibility for someone local as well. I used to have a picture of a chicken standing on a donkey that I'd send to fakes who wanted pics of my cock and ass.

On 8/29/2019 at 8:26 AM, EasyPrey2020 said:

Due to all the guys out there, that are on prep, or undetectable, on meds, isn ' t the virus going to just die out, if it can't be spread?

Unfortunately, that's not likely to happen. HIV is a global problem. There are fewer people on meds or on PREP than not. For the virus to die out in the way you asked, it would require everyone on the planet who has sex or shares needles to practice some sort of protection and work toward not spreading the disease. Even if that were possible, a kid born with HIV today could live 100 years so the possibility of reviving the virus would continue for at least that long. Plus there would still be a chance  that the virus could make the jump to humans like it did the first time. The two things that could potentially make a dent in the spread are a vaccine that prevents acquiring the virus, and a cure that removes the virus from someone who is infected.

Some of those things I don't think are an issue. A farmer's tan shows that you are at least somewhat active. I'd rather see that than pasty paleness like you haven't been outside in 10 years. If you don't like the farmer's tan, then take off your clothes and go for the swimsiut or full nudist tan.

The dark ring around the anus is another thing I don't see as a problem. If I am that close to you to where I can see it, I'm more interested in getting my tongue in the center than critiquing your "bullseye".

Butt hair and pubes, I prefer to keep trimmed short. I think it shows off what you have to offer better. I haven't tried any hair removal products so those opinions will have to come from someone else.  Also on the topic of hair, I can't stand seeing nose hair, ear hair, or big bushy eye brows, so while you are trimming, take a look at that.

Creams to keep the skin supple and smooth are like doing a full body lube. I like lube. 😁 I've thought about taking a collagen supplement. I'd be interested in hearing if it helps.

An area that a lot of guys could use some help is weight control and posture. I was fucked recently by a guy who was grossly overweight. He had to keep moving his belly out of the way to stay in me. If he had been 50 pounds lighter I think it would have been more enjoyable for both of us. You don't have to workout to where you become a musclebound bodybuilder, but if you look down and you can't see your penis, no one else can see it either.

Regardless of whether you decide to make any changes to your body, probably the most important "improvement" someone can make is to be relaxed and comfortable with who they are.

I'd have mixed feelings about that. While I love dirty darkrooms and the idea of getting whored out and fucked repeatedly has it's appeal, I'm already poz so that aspect wouldn't excite me that much. Plus, I wasn't a big fan of the '80's when I lived through them the first time. So I guess it would depend on a few other factors like whether it's a one-way trip, and whether I keep my current body or revert to my over-sexed 1980's twinky self. All in all, I think there are other experiences I'd rather have and other times I'd rather visit. I wouldn't mind an orgy in ancient Greece, or getting whipped naked in a medieval pillory. Hanging out with Oscar Wilde would be ... wild. Watching Andy Warhol develop (pun intended), and being a model for Maplethorpe would all be on my list as well. 

On 9/2/2019 at 10:23 AM, dude8688 said:

Thanks for the advice, but a lot of that is long term stuff, not the same as making a last minute choice to bottom. I don’t arrange my meets weeks in advance haha.

That's true. Adding fiber and eating more fruits and veggies is long term advice -- it's advice on how to keep your colon healthy, bowel movements more consistent, and, has the added benefit of making douching easier. Making a small change to your diet probably won't make a difference today, but could make a difference in cleaning out tomorrow. And these changes don't have to be expensive or time consuming. Pick up a box of high fiber cereal or a fiber supplement and try it for a month to see how it effects you. If you see a positive change in that time, you know to continue, and maybe look at additional changes. If you don't like it, drop it and try something else.

As for a quick and easy solution for an immediate clean out -- it's probably not going to happen. If you keep producing sludge and it takes hours to douche, then you might as well just plan on doing a full enema since you're not getting it out with a small douche. 

But if you are willing to look at what changes to diet can do, some things to try are:

1.  Fiber. Can be in the form of a high fiber cereal, added fruit or veggies, or a supplement
2. Cut back on coffee and cigarettes if you use them -- they both can have the effect of turning your shit to sludge that continually oozed through the intestines.
3.  Probiotic supplement. Acidophilus is the good bacterial that helps digestion.

On 11/12/2019 at 11:20 AM, tallslenderguy said:

Here's another one... and i'll pre qualify, i say this a little tongue in cheek:

"Versatile:"   anyone else feel that "versatile" is just the new word for bottom lol?  I know there are real and genuine versatile guys out there (carry on).  i have even encountered several profiles where versatile guys are even a little defensive insisting that they are "real versatile" or "total versatile"  (totally both ways?), which makes me think they too have found their word has been usurped by bottoms who, for whatever reason, don't want to identify as such. 

Ha! Yeah, it seems the only ads I ever see from Vers guys are when they are looking to bottom. But I can understand saying you're Vers when you like to switch and do both. What I cannot understand is when a guy says he's a top but wants me to fuck him. So he's a complete top except when he's fucked by bottoms?  IT always reminds me of the Monty Python skit of the guy who pokes his head out from under a Scotsman's kilt. He says: "It's OK, I'm a doctor. Well actually I'm a gynecologist, but I'm on my lunch hour..."   

On 6/8/2018 at 2:11 PM, ErosWired said:

There are specific collective words for certain groupings of things, such as a “murder” of crows or a “parliament” of owls. What do you suppose should be the collective word for groups of Tops and groups of bottoms?

If you have a gathering of tops you'd have a massive amount of hormones and hard-ons, so maybe call it a "rage" of tops.

If you have a group of insatiably hungry butt-boys, I think that might be a "greed" of bottoms.

A group of guys into oral would definitely be a "swallow".

Now I'm trying to come up with names for a group of drag queens, ABDL diaper boys, and a few other fetishes.

I was at a theater last night because it was Thanksgiving and I needed my turkey stuffed .... So, it gave me some time to think about the things I'm thankful for.

1. I'm thankful for the porn that taught me about sex.
2. I'm thankful for internet sites like this one that provide a forum to discuss sex.
3. I'm thankful for adult bookstores, gloryholes, theaters, and bathhouses.
4. I'm thankful for cocks and the cum and piss that flow from them.
5. I'm thankful for the dildos and lube I use to open and grease my hole.

Those are just a few of the things that bring joy and keep me motivated throughout the year.

On 7/3/2018 at 4:05 AM, Davidc said:

I was recently in a dark room fucking a random guy , room was full - lots of action .

When a guy pulled the guy I was fucking out of the way , I thought for a dreadful second that he was a condom Nazi , but then he bent over and pulled me in to him.

Just a competitive bottom wanting a load .

Competitive Bottoming sounds like a worthy addition to the Olympics.  A field of bottoms is released into a dark maze. They must find the tops and spend a certain amount of time on each cock.  No points awarded for repeats. The bottom who successfully couples with the most tops within the allotted time wins the round.

I'm sure I must have been hypnotized at an early age. It's the only explanation for the raunchy things I've done -- I certainly wouldn't do them of my own free will ... would I?  😉

My first thought on seeing the title was : "What's wrong with the British Broadcasting Corporation?"  Yeah, I can be clueless on some things, but one thing I know, after looking at DrrAld's pic is, I'd eat that ass.

You said "everyone was kissing and cuddling but no fucking going on"  so it's not like everyone else was getting it on and you were being left out. Also, if you've got other bottoms coming around to chat, it probably means they weren't getting much either.  Overall, it sounds like it was just an off night. 

Over the years, I've played as a top and a bottom, both clean and dirty. All can be fun, and as with everything else, there are advantages and disadvantages to each choice.

The disadvantages of not cleaning out are that it can get messy, so you need to be prepared for the possibility of a “cleanup on aisle 2”. Also, shit can be gritty like sand paper and/or slightly acidic; both of which can be irritating to the skin if you fuck for a long time.

The advantages of not cleaning out are a greater level of spontaneity, raw sexuality, and feelings of acceptance of who you are.

It's really nice to do it first thing in the morning after a long night of sex. I know you know that lazy morning feeling where you're relaxed and maybe still half asleep. You reach beside you and feel a stiff morning wood, and all you want to do is take it inside you and satisfy both of your needs one more time. The last thing you want is to have to check your hole for butt boogers. You're both washable, the sheets are washable, but you still need either a level of trust that the top won't freak out if it gets messy, or an “I don't give a fuck” attitude. Preferably both.

It's also fun outdoors or someplace you can fuck like animals and not worry about any clean up. As I said, it's spontaneous raw sex.

On the other side is the clean out. The disadvantages are that it takes time. Sometimes it takes more time to clean out than it takes to fuck. It can disrupt digestion if you also skip meals or do anti-diarrhea meds to try to slow movement through the intestines. Douching rinses away the natural mucous coating on the inside of the rectum. This makes you more susceptible to abrasion so extra lube may be necessary. And even if you clean out, you may still worry about whether you are really clean – especially if you are bottoming over several hours for multiple tops and taking multiple loads. Worrying about whether you're clean (enough) can make you skip potential fucks or keep you from fully relaxing to enjoy the ones you do.

By cleaning out, the advantage is that you avoid (most of) the mess and can usually stay active longer with less soreness and fewer concerns of what others might think of your sloppy hole.

I think most people prefer to at least start out clean, but the longer you fuck, the more likely you are to end up getting dirty. Most tops understand that it's a possibility and the ones who don't, probably should stick to fucking a fleshlite instead of an anus.

At some point in time, (almost) everyone lies on their profiles to get sex. Some don't update age, or pictures. Some guys over inflate the size of their penis. Some lie about sexual orientation, relationships, or HIV status. Basically they say whatever they think you might want to hear to be able to fuck you.  And if you're only looking for a fuck, what's in a profile doesn't really matter that much.   

The best way to make him comfortable with you in bed is to relax and enjoy the fuck however it happens. If he opts for a condom, you can always take the used one and squeeze it into your ass. Tell him something like "now I'm ready for your next load."

10 hours ago, ltrhornypig said:

Does anyone have the similar experience like me?  I am totally addicted to porn and i always jerked off whiling watching my porn. The wild no holds barred meth slam sex orgy really gets me going. That has become a problem for me because once i have cum after watching the porn, i have no further desire to go out and meet real people for sex. No more worries about rejection and the risk of meeting strangers doing drug and  no more recovery time from the comedown.  Guess the reason for me watching porn in the first please was that i can hardly found anyone to play with

Jerking to porn does have some advantages (it's safe sex, lasts as long as you want, it's there when you want it and it can be repeated as often as you want, etc) but it lacks social interaction and the tactile stimulation that another person can provide. I don't think you have to give up porn, just modify the way you use it. Try watching it before you go out to stimulate and increase your level of horniness. Edge to it but don't cum. If you go out and don't find what you're looking for, you know the porn will be there to get you off when you get home, but it won't have prevented you from going out in the first place.

My personal opinion is that, if you haven't done it already,  it is a good idea to get vaccinated against whatever illnesses you can. It true there's no vaccine for syphilis and gonorrhea, but you can get vaccines against HPV, hepatitis, and pneumonia. Even getting a flu shot is a good idea because, even though it's not considered an STD, it's still hard to be a cum dump when you're in bed with the flu. So, stay on prep and eliminate as many other risks as you can. From there it's up to you to decide what other risks you are willing to take.

I've heard guys say they would love to be the "fluffer" who gets guys hard before a porn shoot. Personally, I'd rather be the clean up crew and lick the cum off of whatever it lands on.