SpongeBase

CHAPTER 5: Diving into the deep end The wait wasn’t long and the instructions were direct. I was told to take one of the pills and shower. “Get a deep clean man”. I was so nervous. Things had escalated so much more quickly than I had intended. I had told him that I was free all day. He knew where I was staying. Like, he delivered a bag of strange drugs to my door. He must have connections in this town. I felt my phone vibrate. “You take the pill yet? You have 60 minutes to get ready, then you are turning over control.” Fuck. I stood there for a few minutes. My dick was throbbing and I kept making gestures towards one direction or another, all the while standing near the small table in the room where I had thrown the contents of the brown bag. Another notification. “Don’t hesitate. You want this. Strip off and take a hit of poppers, that will help. ”. It was like he was here in the room watching me. I checked the time, it was still really early in the day. I could theoretically get fucked up (and fucked) and still come down and have time to rest before going to work tomorrow morning. I wasn’t likely to make a good first impression, but here I was. I grabbed a bottle of poppers, opened them up, and took a hit. We all know what that first hit of poppers feels like, especially after a really long time without. I took a deep hit and they bowled me over. I started to moan and had to sit down at the table. I felt my hard cock bouncing for attention, but I was told to not touch it so I went for my nipples. I felt my tongue starting to come out of my mouth, in a wide open position. I was gooning. I was horny. I was giving up and giving myself over to temptation. I grabbed a pill and swallowed it. I didnt even know what it was. From my position of tweaking my nipples and feeling the popper haze, I saw another message come in. “You now have 50 minutes. Better be getting ready bitch. Update me” I wrote back. “Yes sir. I took a hit of poppers, im naked, and I swallowed a pill. Im going to go get ready now.” He told me I was a good boy, but I knew better. I wasn’t good. I was bad and it was going to get worse. I showered as quickly as I could and did my best to get a deep clean and prep for whatever was going to come next. The heat of the shower, the excitement of the moment, and the pill were having an impact on me. I started feeling fuzzy, warm, and tingly. I figured this was some form of molly or ecstasy, it felt familiar. I have been here before. Cleaned up and feeling eager, I took another hit of poppers, did my best to avoid my rock hard cock, and checked my phone. “You are going to submit. You are now under my control until 10pm tonight. You will be able to rest and recover and I will make sure you can get to work tomorrow, but you understand, you are now going to do whatever I ask? Once you say yes, you wont be able to say no. Do you understand?” I didnt hesitate. “Yes, sir”. “Good. There is a van outside waiting for you. Take it. Wear a pair of shorts, no underwear, a tshirt, and nothing else. Bring the brown bag and treats. Text me when you get to the car. Be quick. We dont have all day. ” Walking was beginning to be a bit tricky. I threw on sunglasses, my swim trunks, and a loose tshirt and headed out the door with the brown bag through into my messenger bag with a phone charger, a change of clothes, and a bottle of water. The van was out front, all windows tinted black, I couldn’t see the driver. I opened up and saw there was a barrier between the front seats and back, the centre of the van was completely empty, and there was only a far back seat. I went back, sat, down, buckled up, and texted.” “Here sir.” Instantly he replied. “Good boy. How ya feeling?” I felt the car start to move. Texting was beginning to get hard. I replied I was good, starting to feel fuzzy, and that I was a bit nervous. “Thank you boy, for telling me. We will take care of you. Take a look under your seat. Ive got a surprise for you.” Inside was a blindfold. There were many fuzzy thoughts going through my mind. Given any other circumstance, I think I would have resisted, not gotten in the van, not even answered the original text message. But this wasn’t any other circumstance. I was now high, horny, and in the back of a van being driven by a stranger, to an unknown location. I didnt even let anyone know. I didnt have much time to think any more about it. “We wont be long till you get where you are going. I have a friend coming to meet you. Take off your clothes, put your phone in the bag, put on the blindfold, and wait. Hold onto the poppers, use as much as you’d like and do as instructed.” No thinking. No hesitating. Just giving in. I did what he asked. The rest of the drive was uneventful except for the thoughts running through my mind. My cock was rock hard and it was nearly impossible to not touch it, but I suspected I was being watched, so I tried to follow instructions as given. I could feel the terrain change and the van slow down. Just as the van was coming to a stop, I took a few huge hits of poppers. I knew I was going to need them. I heard a voice. “Get out”. A rough hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the van. I landed hard, but on soft ground. I also wasn’t feeling any pain. I felt light and free, even though I couldn’t see. I felt cool air running over my body. Everything felt hypnotic and I was feeling great. I must have looked ridiculous, a tweaked out and moaning blindfolded fag, on the ground, naked, with a with a leaking hard on. I was grabbed by two separate sets of hands and arms, and told to get up and to go with these people. The voices were deep and the commands were direct, but in my state of mind, everything felt pleasant. I felt a huge slap to my ass and I almost fell over. “Come with us, we will take care of you”. The deep voice sent shivers through me. Who were these people? How did they know the guy I was texting. What have I done? I was being pulled forward. I walked as best as I could, but that pill and my nerves were getting to me. “We have taken you to a private spa. You are going to have some fun with our friends. Your master has given us strict instructions to take care of you.” My master? They must have meant the guy I was texting. The stranger from the phone. I was definitely out of my comfort zone, but I also didn’t care. I could hear doors being opened, locks being undone, and the sounds of us moving through a space that sounded tight and long, like a hallway. There was a deep pulsing soundtrack playing, plus sounds of sex, maybe porn? Another lock, another door. I was pushed down onto a soft but firm surface. I could smell poppers being placed under my nose. “Take three deep hits fag”. I did as I was told while I was coached through it. I felt warm and silky, sexy and ravenous. I wanted to be ravished. The poppers were left in my hand. “Take these whenever you want, but especially when we tell you.” I had enough range of motion that I could move my hands to my head, but not much else. My hands were fastened apart and in front of me, it felt like I was being tied to a bed. My feed were fastened as well. I was ass up, face down, blindfolded, and high. I was living my fantasy, the one I so often looked up in porn back in the day, before trying to clean my life up. But I was feeling so out of it and high that I wasn’t sure all of this was real. The slap on my ass and the rough hands spreading my cheeks though? That felt real. “What a fine and tender ass you have here slut. We are going to use you good.” I felt a liquid being applied to my ass with a thick finger. It tingled, then stung, then felt warm and hot. I could feel myself loosening, even though Im typically too tight to get fucked. One finger became two, then eventually three. I could feel myself being prepped. This was going to be an adventure. “Suck it”. A heavy and thick dick was placed at my lips. All I could do was open up. A thick drip of precum fell right on my tongue before a semi hard uncut dick was thrust into my mouth. “Yeh fag, you are going to take so much dick.” I felt the fingers being removed from my loose hole as the dick in my mouth grew to a full erection, hard, leaking, and wet with precum and my saliva. I took a hit of poppers. I could suspect what was coming next. I felt the head of a dick being placed at my hole, followed by a quick and deep entry. I tensed up, even with the poppers and the high, I was still feeling some nervousness. But it didnt hurt, it just felt like pure raw pleasure. I let out a deep moan around the dick in my mouth. “Fuck ya slut, you love this dont you?” I could only moan again in response. I could feel things escalating. My high was changing. I wasn’t just fuzzy anymore, there was a harder and more intense edge. The guy inside my ass started deepfucking me. “Gotta get you ready for more dick.” This unknown man fucked me for a few minutes while the other man fucked my mouth. All I could do was take it. They switched places and I got a taste of the dick that was in my ass. It was smaller than the dick I was sucking, but rock hard, cut, and with a thick mushroom head. He throbbed as he moved around my mouth and throat. I felt the other dick being placed at my hole, with my cheeks being spread apart. He teased me a bit, and somehow I could rationally know I should be a bit apprehensive, or worried, especially given his size, but I didn’t feel any worry. I started to push back on his dick. “Oh you want it don’t you?” I slid back as far as I could given the restraints and the dick in my mouth. I had never felt so full before in my life. But also complete. Like there was no other place I should be but right here and right now. He picked up the pace and started deep fucking me. I was being thrust in rhythm between the guy in my ass and the guy in my mouth. Few words were spoken, mostly just moans between those in this moment. I was beginning to wonder if there were people watching. I had no idea what kind of room I was in, but I couldn’t care. I just wanted to focus on the cocks and the experience. Both of them were grunting now. I was being tossed around, making it difficult to hit the poppers so I avoided them. That was about to change. The guy in my ass stopped fucking, holding himself deep, while the guy in my mouth pulled out just enough to have his head resting on my lips and tongue in an open mouth. “Take four deep hits of poppers.” It was a command. Breathed out in a growl. The poppers were taken out of my hands and put up to my nose, with a hand closing off one of my nostrils. “We will tell you when to stop.” The poppers were held up for four, deep, and intense hits. I had never huffed so hard. I was flying and existing in outer space. I could barely hold myself together. I became just two holes. A mouth for swallowing and an ass for breeding. I had a brief thought about condoms, safe sex, and the risks of everything involved, but it was washed away in euphoria and pulsing through and outside of my body. I was getting used. The guy in my ass planted himself deep and let loose with a loud grunt. I felt him tense up and shudder, when the guy in my mouth grunted, pumping a load in my mouth, then pulling out to my tongue and open mouth, and painting my face in jizz. The guy in my ass shuddered a few more times, pulled out slightly, shuddered again, then fully pulled out. He slapped my wet hole a few times with a loud slap, then backed up and away from me. The guy in front of me rubbed his still hard dick over the cummy spots of my face, rubbing more of it into my mouth with the head of his dick. “Yeh man, good start. We are just getting started though. You ready for more?” I just whimpered. They both got off the mattress or bed, or whatever I was on, and moved away from me. I heard them chatting slightly as it sounded like they were putting on clothes. I was warm and sticky in multiple places. I could feel my rock hard dick leaking below me. I was slightly gyrating on the mattress, rubbing my dick against the surface, slick in precum. I felt a hard slap on my ass and then my hair being pulled back. “I dont think so faggot. You don’t cum unless we want you to, you got it? We are going to send these pics to your master, then we are moving you to the maze.” I forgot about the text guy. This was all his doing. Just a day ago I was living a life that felt purposeful and like I was on the right track. Now I was back to where I was a year ago, but even worse. I loved it. I needed it. “Yeh, he is gonna love these shots. Alright boy, come with us.” I was unlocked and picked up at the arms again. I couldn’t walk, so I was stumbled and dragged forward. After a few moments I was pushed through a door, and I stumbled forward and fell down. I felt like I was going to pass out. While I started to reposition myself, I felt an arm come around my neck and hot breath behind one of my ears. “Have fun in here. Be a good slut and do as you are told. You are going to need to be able to see for this next part.” He pulled off my blindfold and I struggled to adjust to the light. I couldn’t see well, but I could start to see when I felt fingers going in my hole again. This time I felt the tingling sensation, or something like it, but no pain, just pleasure. “See you later fag”. He pulled out, pushing me down again, and I heard a door close and lock behind me. I rolled around a bit, trying to push myself up. I felt more energized and eager than I did when I was last getting fucked. I looked around. I was in a dark hallway, lit only by ambient lighting from some unknown source in the ceiling above. Above me was a metal mesh, with dark ceilings beyond the screen just out of my sight. I could hear sounds of sex, coming from all around me, but just soft and barely noticeable. The music was still playing a steady electronic beat, with sounds of fucking coming from the music as well. As I pushed myself up I looked down the hall and could vaguely make out a figure. It was a man, wearing a leather harness, a heavy leather cock ring, and a hooded mask. Being as high as I was, I wasn’t sure if what I was seeing was real, when he beckoned me towards him with a gesture. I guess I was really in the deep end of it now.

Chapter 4: Who have I become? “Sup Fag? You want some of this?” “Yeh? You want to play with it? Tell me about you” — I typically follow instructions well. I rarely color outside the lines in life. Boundaries and rules have kept me on a pretty consistent path. So I guess it isn’t a surprise that I followed these instructions like my life depended on them. The next part of the journey isn’t always clear in my memory. I know I reached out. I know I consented to be drugged and to get used. I don’t know much else. I also know that I hit a sort of rock bottom after this. I opened up to friends and family about what was happening, not going into explicit detail, but letting them know that the breakup was really hard on me and that I was struggling. I knew there was a risk that the photos, videos, or other information could end up being used against me, but I did what I could to prevent that. I changed phone numbers, scrubbed my online presence, and started trying to take care of myself. The photos and videos of me never surfaced, my family and friends were never contacted, and in general, the only person who knew what happened was me and whoever else I came into contact with, or rather, who came into contact with me and then shot their loads in me. This new direction was helpful, for a time, but deep down I knew that I was always going to stumble and fall back into depravity. But, there were lessons from this experience that helped in other areas. I became less rigid, more flexible in terms of boundaries and rules. However, this also meant that it wasn’t always so straight forward or certain what steps I should take. I was used to living in black & white, and suddenly I was forced to live with a lot more complexity than that. I pumped the brakes on sexual activity and I went completely sober. Following this experience, it took time to get over Trev and to put the wheels back on my general existence after falling off the tracks so spectacularly. I deleted the online hook up apps, I stopped watching porn, and I went an entire year without even making out with a guy. I think I wanted a hard reset. It was useful. However, after a year of trying my best to be what I thought was a better version of me, I was finding myself bored, alone, and horny. Over this time I had switched jobs, still in comms/marketing, but with another organization and a different type of role. In my new role, I was going to be traveling a lot more which I was excited for, but also nervous about. I knew traveling could get me into trouble. I got a new phone at work, the same number and phone as a previous employee from another department, but otherwise new to me. First on my agenda in my new role was to head to the national office for training and onboarding. I was going to be flown to a much larger city in the middle of the country for a week to meet directors and VPs and get a sense for the new landscape I was in. I was excited, but all I could think about was, “will I behave?” I wasn’t so sure. I headed up early on a Monday morning. I hadn’t even booted up the phone yet, waiting till I was on the plane out before even looking at the thing. It was completely reset. Funny how I was trying to do a complete reset on my life too. I booted up the phone, set it up with my info, and then looked to see what was happening. Right away I got a text message. I assumed it was from the corporate head office. I was wrong. “Sup Fag? You want some of this?” It was from an unknown number, with a picture of a hard uncut dick, wet, with a bottle of poppers next to the dick. I was shocked. I had also opened this on the plane, but thankfully no one was sitting next to me. Was the previous owner of this phone a slut? What was happening? The text message and the picture was so shocking to me. I didnt notice that I was instantly harder than I have been in months. I had to cover my lap with my bag to hide my hard on. “Sir, you need to put your bag under your seat for take off”. I smiled at the flight attendant and nodded and replaced my bag with my jacket. My dick was throbbing. I wasn’t sure what I should do about the text message? I was going to delete and block the number, but I was so curious. Curious and horny. Things were a bit different for me now. I was on prep, feeling a bit more secure in my own sexual desires, but it had been so long since I tried anything with anyone. I had assumed I would start dating, not jump into the apps. But this message from a complete stranger, it almost didnt seem real. I texted back. “Hey, this message must be for the previous owner of the phone. I got this number and phone through work. Sorry, you got a different guy here.” Thinking this would be it, I turned off the phone, tried to recenter myself, and tucked in for the flight. But my hard on wouldn’t leave. I just kept thinking about that dick and the poppers, about the wild times I had a year ago. As the plane took off and we started the climb into the sky, all I could think about was getting off. As soon as the plane climbed high enough for seat belts to be taken off, I grabbed the phone and rushed to the bathroom. I need to jerk it, and the least I could do was use this unsolicited image as my bate material. I booted up the phone and saw another message. Fuck, I forgot to turn the phone onto airplane mode before turning it off so it was still sending/receiving messages. The message was from the same number. “Do you like what you see?” Of course I did. My rock hard cock was leaking through my pants as I was standing in the airplane bathroom about to jerk it to this random guy's photo. I had to ignore the messages and just jerk off. Ignore the messages. Just ignore it. I turned the phone on airplane mode and started jerking to the photo. I could feel myself shaking, I was so horny and worked up. Just receiving a message like this after such a long period without porn and action was enough to send my body into overdrive. I was jerking, with the intention of getting off as quickly as possible. I didn’t last long. I jerked and shot a huge load into the sink and streaking up into the mirror of the plane bathroom. Hopefully I didnt make too much noise. I cleaned up, headed back to the seat, and forgot all about it. A few hours later I landed and I headed to the hotel. I wasn’t on official work duties at all today. I was just required to get to the hotel, check in, and relax. It was summer and hot. I thought about maybe checking out the local queer scene, or going for a walk. I wasn’t really sure what I was going to get up to. Shortly after getting to my room, visions of my hookups a year ago came back to me. The text message and the photo were front and center in my mind. I was in trouble. Even though I jerked, I could tell I was still excited and felt a sense of ravenous desire that I have not experienced sober before in my life. I opened up my phone, looked at the last message from this mystery popper dick guy and wrote him back. “Yes.” Short, simple, uncomplicated. I fell into bed and started playing with my dick. I had not used porn in almost a year. I deleted most of my accounts and I didnt have any saved content anywhere, not even on my computer. But I was craving porn. Really bad. But I wanted to stick to my principles. I felt the phone vibrate. It was him. “Yeh? You want to play with it? Tell me about you” I knew this wasn’t going to end well. I needed to delete and block the number. I needed to stick to what was working for me. But, if I was so serious about these new rules and boundaries in my life, why was I so bored? So alone? So fucking horny all the time? I wrote back and sent him a selfie with a message. “Bored, away for work in another city, and horny”. Well, I knew exactly where this was going to go. I told him where I was, which hotel, the room number, how long I was staying, he asked more questions, never really offering up details about himself. But I think I needed and wanted an outlet. He became the place for my sexual confessions. As much as I tried to improve my life and reconcile all these different parts of myself, I hadn’t truly opened up about what had happened a year ago. “So, you are a submissive gooner fag? Wanting to get fucked anonymously while also being fucked up? Is that correct?” I was rock hard and jerking while texting with him. He was triggering all the parts of me that have been wanting to be triggered. I was completely unhinged and unlocked. “Yes sir. That is what I want. It has been so long.” Even though I had gotten off earlier I was rock hard, leaking, and bating hard. “Good boy. You are little fag. I will have more instructions for you, but for now, stop touching your dick and wait by the phone. And go check the package that is outside of your door”. Oh fuck. Things were escalating. I tucked my dick in my shorts and opened the hotel door to find a small brown bag. I quickly grabbed it and went inside. Another text. “Enjoy… be in touch soon”. Inside the bag were two bottles of unopened poppers, a brand I had never used before, and some treats, a couple baggies of white powder, a couple baggies of brown powder, and a few pills. I should have just thrown it all out. I should have gone to the hotel and asked for a new room. I should have blocked the number. But all I could think was, fuck it. Who was I becoming? (to be continued)

Thanks!

Thanks!

Hey, I have recently gotten back into poppers. I am kind of curious about having someone instruct me on my popper usage, be in control of what I watch while jerking, and generally tell me what to do. I have a partner, he doesn't know I like to get so slutty like this. I see popper training videos where guys are told what to do by someone else. I think that is kind of what I am envisioning. Does anyone know of anything like that available on the internet already or is someone here interested? I dont often get alone time or have space to myself, but when I do, I would like to try this out. Really into verbal, degradation, name calling, and being treated / talked to like a slut. You can read some of the stuff I have written to get a sense of what I like am into. Probably not able to action this very quickly, but if anyone has any tips/suggestions, let me know! If you have any good popper training/bate videos that focus on sub/dom dynamics or anonymous sex, let me know. I have a few saved. I come back to this one often: [think before following links] https://barebackbastards.com/40485/anon-popper-trainer/

Hot. I hope it is a good time!

Love stories like this. I write some similar ones. Check em out? I just wrote one today:

You... We met late in the night a few years back. You messaged me on grindr, a blank profile, looking for something. I know when a guy messages me, a profile with no picture and profile, that they are desperate. Horny. Craving for something that can't find in someone they know. Too much shame. You messaged me with a simple, "Hey... looking?" The conversation started out innocently enough, but I pushed your boundaries. Your profile, also blank with just an age. 27. You send a picture and I notice that you look familiar. I realize you have a more open profile with a photo and that I follow you on Instagram, where you pretend to be anything but what you are. A slut. On this profile, you are no one. I can tell. I tell you I am looking to fuck a bottom. You are less than a 5 minute drive away, but it is 3 am. I don't want to waste time just to ghosted. I push again. "What is your address? Into anon?" Maybe that was too far. You don't respond for a while. I start chatting with other guys, but it is late and this isn't a big town. There are only so many options. I am stroking my cock, soaked with precum, thinking about planting it in a hot hole. I usually like to breed, but sometimes bottoms are too demanding and expect it to be safe. I respect that, but I want more. I am guessing you do too, because you respond a few minutes later. You send me a location pin and a picture of you ass up in a jockstrap, with nice furry and full asscheeks. My cock bounces. You are in a decent area in a nice little cul-de-sac of townhouses. You tell me you are on the bottom floor of the town house, in the bedroom right off the main entrance. You tell me you are nervous but horny. You watch a lot of anon porn, but you worry. Then you mention you are stoned and hitting poppers. "I can be there in 5 minutes. You ready?" No response. Im so hard, so horny. I really need to cum. There are a couple of other guys I am chatting with. One, a guy I fucked before, but it is getting late and he can't host. Another, a top. A guy from out of town who is up before heading out for a flight. But I am also a top. I tell him I am chatting with you, joking about how hot it would be to tag team you, we could both fill you up. I figure I should shoot my shot and see what happens. "Im headed towards you." I hop in my car and head over to that area. When I arrive I pull up your Instagram profile. You are a handsome guy. Everything about your on your other grindr profile and social media profiles shows you as an innocent, even vanilla guy. Your pictures and posts are all positive things. Raising money for a charity, sharing important news about another issue in the local community, and other content that suggests your virtues and values are strong, positive, and just. Such a good boy. You do so much community work, so many positive things. I wonder, do people know you are up at 3am, craving anonymous dick from strangers while you sniff poppers and smoke weed? I doubt it. Your shame holds you back but invites me in. Maybe this is just another form of service for you. "Im on your street." I don't know which house you are in, but I figure if I end up even closer and on your street you will have to say yes. It doesn't take me long until I am on your street. A quiet little street. I get a message. It is from the other top. He agrees, tag teaming would be hot. I send him the pictures you sent me, and a location pin. "Im on his street, waiting for him to invite me in." You are not aware of the scenario I am dreaming up for you. Maybe you do. Maybe this is your dream. He sends me a pic of his cock. Uncut, long, big swooping mushroom head. I don't bottom, but I see the appeal. I'd love to watch it disappear into your little good boy hole. You message. "Fuck. Okay. You play safe? Im really nervous." I don't want to play safe. I want to breed your hole. I want to fill you up as you contract your hole around my cock as it creams you deep. Just thinking about it makes me ooze. "I didnt bring any condoms. Prefer to fuck raw." You take a few moments to respond, meanwhile, the other top responds. "I gotta head out to catch a flight soon. I could swing by if you want, we could fuck him together." I am intrigued. But I am not even invited in. I decide to get pushy. Test your limits, for the first time, but not the last. "Look, I am not into playing games. You wanna get used or not? Im in a car with a dripping hard on and I am going to have to get off soon. I can fuck you, it can be quick. I am safe and I get tested, but I don't have condoms on me. You want me to fuck you or not? I can be in there in 1 minute. Im outside in the green Jetta." I figure this is it. He either wants it or he doesn't. But I suspect he wants it. I suspect he wants more than he knows. I message the other top. "If he doesn't want to fuck, we could meet up and jerk off outside together?" He agrees and he is dressed and ready to leave. I tell him to meet me on the street and we can decide what do after that, but then you message. "Okay. Im face down and ass up. You have to be quiet and quick. Come in and fuck me, and leave. Im in number 13. Cool?" You, the good boy, are about to get raw dogged by a total stranger. Maybe two? I reply, "Cool. Get ready." I tuck my hard dick into the waistband of my sweats. It is 7 inches and uncut. I have not trimmed in ages and honestly, I am not the fittest or most attractive guy, but it is my dick and my load that matters to you. You want that. Not me. I message the other top. "I am going to fuck him. He is in number 13. When I am done fucking him Ill message you and let you know if he is into it." The other top likes this. "Fill that fag up". I will. I will fill you, the fag. The slut. The goodboy who has a dirty little secret. I enter the house and see the door slightly ajar to a room off the main hall way. I walk in and there you are. Ass up and face down. As the door creaks open, I hear you moan, followed by deep inhalations of poppers. Your ass is caught in the little bit of light available in the dark room. You are thick, thick and a faggot. I drop my clothes and climb on the bed. I place a hand and roughly push on top of your back as I straddle you. I want you to know I am in charge. "You want this?" You whimper. There is no hope for you. I slap my dick against your hole. I dont see condoms or lube, just your hole and my wet dick. Globs of precum oozing out of the slit. I rub it up and down your crack, teasing your hole. Preparing it for what it wants. Im so charged up I feel like I could cum at any moment. I spit a huge wad down your crack, rub it in with my dick. You didnt get fingered, you don't have any lube, and I am about to slide into you whether you are ready or not. Something tells me you have never been more ready. I start to ease in. I feel zero resistance. Just warmth and pleasure. I moan and you hit the poppers. I start to notice your movements. I suspect you are more than just stoned and poppered up, maybe more shame and secrets, but right now all I care about is getting off and maybe getting you tag teamed. I feel my phone vibrate. I put some weight behind my push and I slip more inside you, not all the way, but enough to start finding some rhythm. You keep hitting those poppers. "Yeah fag." I ease those words out, breathy and slow. This seems to ignite something in you. Perhaps it triggers that delicious shame you feel. That dirty side of you that you are so afraid to let out. It is dark and a strangers dick is easing its way inside you and you are stoned and getting high off fumes. You have no fucking choice but to be exactly who you are. This little faggy slut who is going to get my load. You want it. The other top is on the street. I snap a dark blurry pic of my dick in your hole. You dont even notice, but I send it to the top. Time to push more limits. I start moving in and out a bit more, building up rhythm and power. I feel the pull of your insides as they drag along my dick as I pull out and push in. I bottom out on each thrust and feel your round ass cushioning my hips. My balls slap your taint. This feels electric and I can tell you like it too. You have been huffing poppers since I have arrived. Push those limits. "Fuck dude, this is hot. You take a lot of dick?" Whimpers and moans. No clear responses. Hearing you moan like a pathetic little bitch makes me feel primal. I want to destroy you. You want it too. I know it. "You are such a faggot. You like this?" I hear you groan out a slow and low, "yeah". "Yeah? you like that? You love dick dont you fag?" You are muttering, not totally coherent. The poppers have you flying. "You got anyone else lined up?" The directness seems to startle you a bit. You tense up a bit and just you do, I give you two big slams with my cock and body. You whimper again. Tension disappears. You plead. "No, just you. Fuck." Push those limits. "Yeh? You ever get tag teamed? I wanna watch you take a dick" You tense up again. I feel my phone vibrate. I slam into you again, but this time lay my body on top of yours and put my mouth next to your ear as I start to plow away. I wrap my arms around you as my dick fills you up, takes away your control, and I own you. "Fuck yeh fag. You love that don't you. Being a whore for strangers. Yeh, you like that?" You can't breathe much. I have you wrapped so tightly. "Keep hitting those poppers faggot. I know you want this. You are going to take my dick and my load, I am going to fill you up. Is that what you want?" I know it is working. I have seen sluts like you many times, taking my dick, the dick of others, hungry for it and just needing the permission to let go. Let me give you permission. I am sliding in and out when I feel the phone vibrate again. I sit up a bit, planting my dick deep in your hole, all the way, with force, causing you to pull away. I am causing you some discomfort, but I pull you back. You are not in control. I am. "Keep poppering up. Come on. Gooooood boy." You like it when I call you good boy. I can tell. Your ass loosens just at the words alone. "You gonna be a good boy for me? Do what I say? Do anything I ask?" Whimpers. Moans. It is almost pathetically predictable. You only exist for me in this moment. "I have another top nearby. He wants to fuck you too. Im gonna invite him over and he will fuck you when I am done. Ill line it up for you." You have let go. You have not said yes, you have not said no. You just let me drive it into you. "He is on his way over. Last chance dude." You try to get some words out, but I keep laying my pipe down hard. My thrusts disrupt your speaking. "I... (thrust)... I don't... (thrust)... fuck... I can't (thrust)" I don't let up. Push those limits. "You do what I want. You take this cock. You love it dont you? Im close, but you wont be finished. You need more. Hit those poppers fag. Goodboy. Daddy's little slut." You do as you are told. You hit those poppers. Your limits are blown. You are going to get fucked. I message the guy on the street. "Come in. I am almost done. His hole is ready for you." Minutes later I hear the door open. I think you do too. You hit the poppers harder and harder. You are trying to inhale away the shame, the lust, and the desire. I am thrusting it back into you. The room is dark and I can only just make out the other top as he comes in. When he comes into view he is already half naked, with a hard cock sticking out from under a polo shirt. A daddy on business. Hot. He lines his dick up with your mouth and grabs your hair and shoves it in. You just take it. The sight is almost too much. I start to pick up the rhythm and move closer, laying on top of you again. I am right next to your head as you get facefucked by this other stranger. I know nothing about him, you know even less. I pick up speed and drive deeper. You are being shoved back and forth with my movement. My thrusts are pushing you forward, impaling you on this strangers cock. I whisper in your ear. "I am going to breed you now boy, then he is going to breed you. You are going to get filled up with cum from strangers. You are such a faggot." I keep whispering. Telling you what you already know turns me on. It drives me wild. You know these truths, but saying them outloud, in this room drenched in desire and pathetic attempts and hiding your true nature, I am seeing who you really are. Nothing but someone to please other people. Maybe that is what is true across these two identities. You just exist to be here for others, including me. This cock. Inside you. Coating your asshole in precum, lubing you up for the next guy. My whispers light up the shame inside you. You seem ravenous. You want to be ravished, consumed. Now you just grunt as you drool around his cock and take mine. Im so close. I have not cum in days. Your hole and this scene, your desperation, they take me to the edge. I tighten my grip around you, one arm around your neck, the other pulling your hips and ass closer into me. You can't escape, you need to feel all of me in and outside of you. You start to try and speak, but both cocks, mine and his, make it hard. "Plleee.... ohhh... plea... fuck... oh fuck... plea" I worry you are getting second thoughts. This angle has prevented you from taking poppers. I keep fucking deep. Just as I do, the other top grabs your poppers, takes a hit, and then puts them under your nose, you have no choice but to breath. My arm and his cock have you trapped. You take deep hits. "Unnhh, unnnhhh, unnnhhhh" You become nothing. Just a hole. I lose control. "Fuck (thrust) here it (thrust) comes (thrust)" I spasm. Pumping deep for a few pushes, then I sit there as I spasm, deep inside your hole. I feel you tightening around my cock. You are going completely limp as I fill you up. The other top has a hold on your poppers and your jaw. I feel like my entire being enters you and finds it way deep inside. I keep pulsing, shooting, offering up my body to your shame. I sit there for a few moments when I feel the other top tap my shoulder as I shudder out a few more drops into your ass. "My turn" he says. His turn to own you. Are you ready? You are gooned out of your mind. He pulls out of your mouth and all you can do is drool and leave your tongue hanging. I slide out, stumble back away from the bed slightly. The other top moves around. You start to push up a bit, out of it, but trying to regain some control. He doesn't let you. Before you can re-adjust, he is in you. You are ready. I have made you ready. I stand there and watch while my dick drips long strings of jizz onto the carpeted floor behind your bed. I feel my phone vibrate as I watch the other top slide his dick inside you, making your head board rattle against the wall. My head is light while I witness your fists grip the pillows and sheets. If you thought I was rough, you might be longing for my tenderness now. He is abusing you. What a good boy. ----- maybe to be continued

Part 4: Bridge to depravity I was flying high. The guy was fingering my while I just laid there next to him. My ass was incredibly loose. I felt him deeply, like every sensation was elevated to a point where it was almost overwhelming. I loved the sensation, but I was craving dick. I wanted dick. I wanted to be used, abused, and filled. I was going to get more of what I wanted. “How long you here for? You got this place completely to yourself?” The guy was asking me questions, but I couldnt respond very well. I was too out of it. I just groaned something like yes, alone, and till Tuesday. “Good. We got time then.” He shifted off the bed, pulling his fingers out of my ass, and I heard him walk out of the room. I couldnt do much but lay there. I was too fucked up to do more. My soft cock was cold in my cummy jock, but I kept gyrating on the bed. I was cock crazed and wanted more. He returned a few moments later and he grabbed my arms roughly and spun me around. I was now laying across the bed, with my head slight over one side, and my legs and ass at the other end, pointing up. He slapped my ass hard. “Gotta get your ready for the rest of the day!” I felt him fasten something against my arms, then my arms being pulled roughly to the ground and then taught, like I was tied to the bed’s legs. Then he followed with the legs. I was now spead eagle, ass up, and tied to the bed. I couldnt fight if I wanted to and I wasnt particularly unhappy, but somewhere, my brain new I was now in very dangerous territory. But just as I thought that, I pictured Trev getting filled with raw stranger cock and I instantly felt electricity course through me. I felt purpose. I felt desire. I felt needed. The top walked around and shoved his softening cock in my mouth and placed his fingers in my ass again. “First one is almost here. I put your address up on a few sites. We are going to whore you out. I might as well make a bit of money off of this venture. Slut.” He pulled out of my mouth, grabbed my neck and jaw roughly, and then placed a cup up to my lips. “Open. Swallow.” I did. He poured a salty liquid into my mouth and I had no choice but to swallow. I gagged and coughed a bit, but I couldnt take much time for myself, as he shoved his dick right back in my mouth. As he did, I heard music start playing. The scene was set. I was going to be the druggy cumdump bottom for his wildest fantasies. I heard the doors open, followed by a voice. Things were hazy, I felt in and out of it. Time didnt seem to follow in a logical rational way. It felt like moments later I was being filled with a cock. I didnt even notice clothes being removed. I heard more voices. I felt cocks being removed, then put in, and it seemed like cocks were in rotation. I heard grunting and chatter between the music and other sounds. I felt really wet like my ass and crotch were soaked in fluids. I knew it was jizz, but I didnt care. I heard his voice next to my ear. “You are getting used by so many strangers. YOu have taken at least 5 loads already. How does that feel, slut?” I could only groan. Time went on like this for a while, until suddenly it seemed to be over. I was in and out of it. I noticed my hands were no longer tied, nor were my feet. I was free on the bed, but still blindfolded. I also didnt feel as fucked up. I felt warm and raw, but not high in the same way. I reached up and pulled my blindfold off. The room was mostly the same as when everything started, a few water bottles around and the bed was definitely messed up. Sheets were soaked and the room smelled of sex, but otherwise, things were okay. On the nightstand there was a piece of paper and a small bag. I opened up the paper. It was a message, presumably from the most recent top I invited over. “Hey slut, great job tonight. There are some treats in the bag and some money for your time. The guys loved you.Message me when you wake up for your next instructions. Dont forget. I know where you live and have copied a lot of your contact details. If you don’t message me and follow instructions, I am sending pictures of you getting used to everyone’s contact information. Mom, dad, friends, family, co-workers. Dont let that happen.” Wow, did things ever get out of hand. I could have left, I could have done something else, but I opened my phone and texted. “Hi, just waking up. What are my instructions?” Things have gotten way out of hand.

PART 3: Chaos deepens I sat there for a few moments, trying to work my phone. I opened the apps and saw a few messages here and there. As I wrestled with the phone, I felt a cool touch on my leg. A bottle of poppers, the same bottle of poppers I had used earlier, left behind. I really enjoyed them and they made everything feel extra heightened but I felt too overwhelmed to even think of using them now. I checked Grindr and saw a message from a blank profile about 200 meters away. I guess I was? Wasn’t I? I just sent him my location without thinking much else. It took too much effort to even do that, but I figured. What the hell. Im already fucked. I could barely get that message out. I was so out of it. I was also mostly messaging with one hand. My free hand kept going to my asshole, rubbing the cum inside my hole. It felt loose and when I touched it I felt so alive. Another man had cum inside me and I could tell I wanted more. And I wanted it anon. I started crafting another message when his next one came in. I wanted to say, “I want it anon. Ill be ass up and waiting.” But when I read, then processed his next message, I thought, does anything change? Fuck it. No it doesnt. This was it. I was going to get another round. I had saw a few other messages from other hot accounts, but I spent all my energy on sending these messages. I felt like I had reached a peak state of fuck energy. I just wanted to get used. I put down the phone and rolled over, ass up. I resumed the position I took for the earlier guy and I started huffing poppers. I didn’t have to wait long. Moments later I felt the air in the room change. I wasn’t alone. He was here. I didn’t know anything about him and overall, our engagement was much shorter than it was with the guy who railed me earlier. I heard clothes hit the floor as he shifted himself up and onto the bed. “You wanna suck me until my friend arrives?” He had a bit of an accent. I took that as a command. I took a hit of poppers, shifted a bit but kept my face down, and shoved his semi-hard cock in my mouth. I heard him make sniffing noises as his cock got hard in my mouth. “You partying?” I just moaned. It was getting late and I suppose I probably looked high. I was grinding my ass up and down, while sucking this strangers cock. I never saw myself as a partier, but here I was, high and getting used by anonymous men. “You want a rip?” I opened my eyes and saw a bunch of white powder on the end of a key. I had no idea what it was, but I wasn’t feeling hesitant about anything. I leaned forward and sniffed and put his dick right back in my mouth. “Fuck yeah, that’s it. We are going to share you and you can have some fun with us, okay?” I just moaned again. “My friend likes it really discreet. Do you mind if I cover your eyes with something?” I couldn’t quite place the accent, but it didn’t matter. His cock tasted and felt amazing, I was really feeling the extra effects of whatever powder I just snorted, and I was so incredibly horny. I took another hit of poppers and moaned, “okay…” I didn’t intend it to sound so hesitant, my mind was made up and I was ready to step it up, but I also couldn’t believe I was doing this. He leaned over me and grabbed something out of his bag. Then, putting his hands on my head and fucking my face he said, “alright, he is nearby. You ready?” He slipped something over my eyes, a t-shirt, or bandana, whatever it was, it was soft but it completely obstructed the view. While his dick was still in my mouth he said, “Take another rip. We are going to get you fucked up.” He pulled out, grabbed my head, and positioned the powder in front of my nose. I snorted, and just as I did I heard the door open and close again. What a satisfying sound. “Hey. He is ready for you. Dive in. He is partying too.” I felt a tap on my leg and the weight of a body move up behind me. I had no idea who this was. We didnt even chat. Now I was high and getting higher, already filled up with cum from another guy, and here I was about to get used by two more. What. The. Fuck. I needed it. Maybe this is who I was supposed to be? I felt fingers at my hole. “Is this cum or lube?” It was a different voice. I just moaned, barely able to form words. He didn’t wait for a response. “Doesn’t matter. It will be cum soon enough anyway.” I heard the sound of a bottle, presumably lube, then I felt him shove his fingers in my hole. Something felt different right away. It wasn’t just the fact that I had been fucked, it was also a new sensation. Something tingled, stung a bit, and just… just felt different. He jammed fingers in and out of my hole while I was getting face fucked by this other guy. He stopped abruptly as the guy inside my mouth pulled out and slapped my face with his wet cock. “Yeh… rail this bitch” The energy shifted. The guy behind spread my ass cheeks, then I felt the head of his dick at my hole and then I felt him completely inside of me. He dove deep, just like instructed. The guy at my face planted his dick back in my mouth. Both kept up a steady rhythm. Guy in my ass laid it on me heavy, moving my body up and down with the bouncing of the bed. Diving deep and pulling out all the way so just the head was inside with each stroke. It felt amazing. It was really rocking me in ways that I experienced with the previous guy, but it also felt extra. My hole and lower half of my body felt like it was tingling, light, and euphoric. I could only grind my body up against his as he shoved himself deep inside me. He pulled my hair and my head back with one hand, grabbing my neck with the other. The other guy’s dick came out of my mouth leaving a long strand of spit behind that fell on my face and neck. “Take some more”. A key was placed at my face. I snorted. Hands were shoved in my mouth. I licked. It felt like there was a tingling in my mouth and head that was spreading down me to meet the tingling in my lower half. I was flying and loving every second. I wasn’t hard anymore, just a soft wet cock with strands of cum and lube running down my taint and balls. The guy in my ass was making bit wet slapping sounds as he plowed me. It felt like he was close. Suddenly he pulled out and I heard him grunt. The guy that was in my mouth leaned over and I felt my ass cheeks being spread apart, followed by warm spray of cum all over my hole and ass. “Fuck yeh. Lube him up.” He shoved his dick back inside me for a couple more pumps then dismounted. Tingles everywhere. “Have fun.” That was also that was said again between the two. The sound of clothes being put on then the doors opening and being shut soon followed. The other guy was on the bed, but just leaning back a bit, not fucking my face or touching me. I took a moment to sniff some poppers. Before they even hit I started grinding my ass up and down. “Fuck dude. You are hot. I wanna fuck you, but I dont think I am ready to cum yet. You cool if I invite someone else over?” I could barely speak but my body was telling me I needed to get filled. Now. “Okay.” I didn’t sound hesitant this time. I sounded desperate. “Fuck yeh.” He slapped my ass hard and shoved his fingers inside. I felt every bit of his fingers. The texture of his skin, the knuckles, the base, everything. It felt like I was a part of him. “I just sent your address to a few guys. We are going to keep you partied up and pounded out.” Who the fuck had I become?

Part 2: Chaos Begins I felt a cool breeze from the night air wash over my exposed ass. My hole puckered. I was swimming in fuzzies from the molly and anticipation. I gyrated on the bed. The cool breeze stopped as the stranger in the room closed the door. I was waiting, ass up, face down, half hidden under bedding but fully exposed to a stranger, waiting, wanting, and needing to get railed. My body felt warm and light, there was a sense of exhilarating freedom coursing through me. I heard the sound of things being placed on the bedside table. Clothing being removed. The clink of a belt hitting the floor. The rustle of clothing. The shifts of a body moving from foot to foot, place to place. I was so high that I felt like I could feel shifts in the pressure of air in the room. His movements sending currents through the small room that could be felt by the tiniest hairs on my body. Everything felt slow and intentional. I felt his body get on the bed to the right of me. It felt like he was kneeling next to me. “Here. Sniff these.” Poppers were placed near my hand. I have never tried poppers, but I certainly knew what they were. I didnt feel any hesitation. I took the bottle, opened them up, and placed the opening under my nostril while under the sheets. I took 4 large, deep inhalations, feeling the electricity of the molly mixing with the thrumming of the poppers. I groaned deep and low. “Fuck yah”, he said. The stranger stayed next to me, kneeling on the bed. He lifted up the bedding more, so it only covered the base of my neck and head. Everything else was completely uncovered. He took my free right hand and placed it on his rock hard cock. I could picture it, I could see the image he sent on grindr. His large mushroom head was wet with precum as I stroked it slightly. I could feel it pulsing as it filled my hand, radiating heat and lust and need. I was going to get used. “Stroke it, get it ready for your ass.” I played with it, slowly, appreciating its size and weight. It felt important in my hand. Like it had purpose that I was created to fulfill. I couldnt see him or his dick, but my highness gave me a different experience. It was heightened and as I stroked him, I could picture so much more than my eyes would ever tell me. My mouth felt really dry and I felt uncontrollably high. My eyes were closed but I could picture so much. Noises were colors, my shaking energy was a wash of pink behind my eyes and the radiant heat from his dick was orange. I could feel so much and I wanted so much. I groaned, “fuck me”. I was about to get what Trev got. A strangers dick in his hole. He moved away from the right of me and into position behind me. Where there was previously a cool breeze from the open door, now there was a warm sensation on my ass and hole. He was blowing on me. Fuck. My asshole twisted and i shivered. It was too much. I heard him spit and felt a wad land right on my hole. He blew some more. Spit. Then blew some more. He was in control. “What a nice ass and hole. You gonna give it to me?” I just groaned. “You got anyone else lined up?” I didnt know how to respond, or if I should. So I just groaned again. Speaking wasn’t much of an option anyway. My thinking and rational humanity was replaced by desire and lust. He brushed his finger on my hole, teasing it slightly, just lightly pressing a finger at the edge, before moving up and down my crack. “No one else eh? You want some cock? I wanna hear you.” Again, I just groaned. As I did he inserted a finger, right to the base knuckle. I whimpered in response, “yesssss. I want to get fucked.” I clenched on his finger, feeling him inside me, holding himself there. “Yeh, you are going to get fucked. Keep sniffing those poppers”. I almost forgot. I opened them up and sniffed, feeling my asshole clench less and less. “That’s it. Don’t clench, let go. Open up for me.” He moved his finger slowly in and out. “Keep sniffing. Take deep hits. I want you nice and loose for this cock.” Groan. I could feel him using his thumb to rub up and down my taint, stroking lightly near my balls. He inserted a second finger. I started to clench. “No boy, don’t clench. Stay loose. You need to be nice and loose for my fuck.” I whimpered more. I pressed my chest and face further into the mattress, lifting my ass and body up more with my core, spreading my legs more and bringing my knees closer to my head. He was so deep inside and I felt open and loose, just like he wanted. . “Fuck yeh. You ready for the dick?” I wasn’t. I wasn’t sure I would ever be ready. Just then, I got a glimpse of Trev again and remembered the top asking him if he wanted the load. I wanted this man to fuck me, and I wanted it raw. He pulled his finger out and shifted on the bed. I heard him spit again a few times followed by the slap of a cock on my hole. I couldnt help myself, I pushed myself back onto it. I reached back with my left hand, but just as I did, he pulled away. “Just need to get myself hard”. It felt pretty hard already. But I knew he was in control. “Put your hands forward and sniff those poppers boy. You want this, I know it.” I did as he commanded. Just as I took a third huge sniff, I felt his cock head at my hole. He just left it there with just the slightest bit of pressure, easing his way inside me. I couldn’t handle it. I let out a slow and long moan. “That’s right, just take it. Yeah boy. Just give your ass up to fuck. Ill get you ready for other guys.” Holy fuck I was spinning. “Yeah you like that don’t ya? Just fucking using you.” The feelings and sensations were so intense. I had never experienced anything like this before. “You were made to get fucked, weren’t you. Tell me boy.” I just groaned. “I wanna hear you say it boy. Tell you were born to get fucked.” I could barely form words, but I heard the authority and urgency in his voice. I could feel it. I responded, “I… I am made to get fucked.” I barely finished saying the word ‘fucked’ and he thrust inside me completely. I let out a loud and deep groan, throwing my hands out in front of me and pressing my chest and upper body deeply into the bed. He started fucking me right away, deep long strokes. I was there to be used. He pounded away. It was like he went from 0 to 60, teasing me, blowing on my hole, and forcing me to commit to being his fucktoy. Then, as soon as he got what he wanted he dove in. He didn’t hesitate or ask for anymore permission, he just leaned into the heat. He was now there to use me and get off. The molly, poppers, rum, and the experience were overwhelming me, but I suddenly remembered I asked him if he was safe. I know I meant using a condom, but I vaguely remembered that I almost intentionally left out details so that it was up for interpretation. He was pounding me with deep, intentional, and fast thrusts. The bed was moving, my body felt like it was being struck by waves of sexual pressure. He was never outside of me, but he was creating friction and a pulling sensation with his cock in my hole. I kept picturing it pulling at the edges of my insides. I wanted to feel it. I wanted to feel his dick as it entered my hole. I kept picturing his hard dick inside me. I reached back with my left hand and moved towards my ass. Instantly he grabbed it, positioning it over my head and pushing my body forwards. I collapsed fully into the bed. “Unh uhh. You are not in control. I am. Sniff those poppers boy. You are going to get what you need. You like this dick?” His weight was fully on top of me. I felt like I could barely breathe with the pressure on me. But I took some poppers anyway. The movement of his body was creating loud slapping noises and my cheeks, his body, and his balls slapped together. I pictured his cock, I thought of Trev, and I remembered the top asking him, “You want it?” Followed by Trev demanding that he be bred by the top. I whimpered, “Fuck. I want it.” The top inside me chuckled. “Yeh, you want it. I know you do. You are going to get it.” Deep, hard strokes were filling me up. “You are going to get it. Ill lube you up for the next guy.”I couldnt even comprehend the idea of another top, another fuck, but I think he was right. I wanted it. “Please, give it to me. Deeper.” I could hear myself, but I could barely believe it was me. I felt like I was roleplaying as a cumdump junkie, something I would normally judge others for. I was so happy in my relationship, I was proud that I wasn’t just some other slutty gay cliche, yet here I was. Getting railed by a stranger, probably raw. Just like Trev. I was just like Trev. I wanted to feel everything Trev felt. I could feel his rhythm changing. He was getting ready. Each thrust felt like it was sending fire throughout my body. I was loose, but I was so high I felt like I wasnt even getting to feel his cock. I wanted to feel it, especially as he shot. “Don’t clench. Stay loose.” I couldn’t help myself. It felt so good. “The harder you clench, the harder I am going to fuck.” Goddamn it. His language, his words, how he owned me. It was driving me wild. “All right boy, I see how it is going to be. Get ready.” He picked up pace and he was true to his word. I couldn’t stop clenching and gyrating my ass to his movements. My cock was rubbing up hard against the bed and it felt like it could burst at any moment. He shoved hard and deep, going harder and deeper than I expected he could. It felt violent and raw. I had no rights here, just a hole. “Fuck yeh. Get ready. Here it comes.” Suddenly I felt fearful. What the fuck was I doing. I started to freak out a bit. “Dont breed me… I… I only play safe.” He laughed and groaned, shoving his cock deep. “Too late boy. You are getting it deep.” He spasmed. I tried to pull away, but I was too weak. I was too much of a slut. Too much of a hole. I wanted it and any resistance I felt was outweighed by the drugs and the desire I felt. He pistoned a few times, placing his load deep in me but also letting me feel his raw cock a few more times, then he pulled out. “Fuck dude, I came a lot. That is a sweet hole.” I started to move and pushed myself up a bit and back to all fours. “No. stay down.” he pushed me back roughly into the bed. I could tell I was leaking from my ass and also my cock. The cummy jock was silky and soft, but soaked through with precum. I felt his body shift as he leaned forward and shoved his fingers in my hole. “Yeh that’s it. You loved it didnt you? It would be a shame if you stopped now. Do you want more, boy?” At this point I couldnt feel control over my body and even my spirit. I was an aimless fuck crazed slut. “Yeh. I gotta jet, but you should get fucked.” He grabbed my junk roughly with his other hand. I could barely contain myself. The feeling of my cummy ass and his fingers roughly pawing at my junk sent me over the edge. I started cumming and it oozed through the jock. “Fuck yeh. You little slut. That’s okay, just more lube for the next guy.” He scooped up the cum by pulling the jock to the side. He reached up and around to my face and shoved his other fingers in my mouth. I could taste myself. He went back, grabbed more of the jizz in my jock, and then shoved those fingers in my hole. “Ill check in on you, boy. You are good boy and you are going to be a good boy for other guys I hope.” He pulled out and I felt empty. I heard him getting dressed and he didnt say anything else. A few moments later he slapped my ass. Then he was gone. I heard the door open and close and I was alone. I felt drained, but so incredibly high. I could tell it was going to last a while. I had cummed, but my cock was rock hard. I rolled over and inserted a finger in my ass. Fuck I was wet and loose. I grabbed my phone and tried my best to use it give how high i was. It wasn’t working well. I couldn’t believe I wanted more, but I did. All I could think was, what have I done and am I ready for more? I was about to find out. ----- Note from author: Tell me what else should happen and maybe Ill continue chad's descent?

Chad’s Collapse into Chaos: Chapter 1 Note: There is a fairly long contextual intro. Jump to the spot with the pictures to get to the action. Chad: 29 5’9” 160lbs, slightly toned, drank and smoked weed occasionally. Has a good job in marketing/communications in sales. Vanilla life, recently heartbroken, and tries drugs and anonymous sex for the first time, while alone after a weekend at a music festival. ----- My life was in shambles. For years I had been with only one guy. We met when I was younger, not even out of the closet. Then again, I felt like I was barely out of the closet now. Still, I spent years with this guy. Our breakup felt sudden. Me? I’m Chad. Grew up in PEI, a relatively simple lower middle class life. Mom was a drunk, Dad left when we were young, but we managed. I grew up fantasizing about guys, but mostly avoiding relationships. As I got older, I went to school for business in a larger city out west and ended up working a few jobs in marketing sales. It was an easy gig. I showed up, acted charming, told the clients what they wanted to hear, and I made enough sales to perform well. In college I met Trevor out at a bar. He was making eyes, I was drunk enough to make eyes back. That lead to a years long relationship were I felt content enough to not dig any deeper. Trev? Clearly he felt different. I caught him cheating. I walked in on him in our apartment on the fringes between suburbs and downtown of the city we lived in. I came home early from work one day when I was feeling a bit off. My mental health sometimes gets the better of me, and this day, I just wasnt feeling it. It was just after lunch when I entered our townhouse. I always entered from the patio doors, as they were usually open, and our back yard was really hidden as the pathway to get to the back ran along the edge of a wall at the end of the townhouses. It emptied out onto a private terrace backed onto a greenway that led up to a highway. It was private. Too private I found out. I was about to walk in when I saw that Trev was blindfolded, leading over counter, while a stranger was jack hammering his ass. Both Trev and the stranger were facing away from me at a diagonal. I could see most of what was happening, but not all of it. I felt sick. Everything swirled and I wasn’t sure what to do. So I stood there. I watched. Trev was acting wild, wilder than he ever did with me. The top was really handsy, grabbing my partner in ways I didn’t know were okay. He slapped him, pulled his hair, and roughly grabbed his neck and choked him. Trev seemed to love it. I felt so conflicted. So shameful. This was nothing like when Trevn and I had sex. I could hear them through the door. The top grunting, Trev groaning, with both of them talking dirty. “You want it?” I could barely pick it out, but I could hear it. “Fuck me daddy, breed me.” I was shocked. Trev was fucking this stranger bare. I couldn’t watch anymore. I started to leave when I heard the top groan. “Fuck yeh, take it. Take my cum!” I nearly tripped over myself getting out of there and heading to my car. I got in, turned it on and drove away slowly. I continued on for a while, finally ending up at a part I used to run at. The entire drive there I was rock hard and leaking. My brain and heart were broken, but my cock and lust were on full blast. Everything swelled. Before I could sense what I was doing, I was rubbing my cock through my pants. I rubbed and rubbed, while I thought about Trev getting fucked raw by a stranger and taking his cum. I fucked him raw, but I was his partner. This was so shocking to me. But it turned me on. I rubbed and suddenly I was cumming through my underwear and pants. I panted, feeling raw, horny, and feral. I also felt confused. As I came to I noticed a car had pulled up next to me and in the driver’s seat a man was sitting there watching me. He winked at me. I felt sick. This entire time the car had been on and in park. I had to go. I left in a hurry, spreading crusher dust and gravel everywhere as I spun out of there. I couldn’t go home, but I didnt know where to go. —-- I drove around for a while before deciding to go to a friend’s. She wasn’t too far away and she was as a friend from home. She took me in, listened to my heartbreak, and told me I could stay as long as I wanted. The same day I broke up with Trev. I did it over the phone, I couldn’t tell him why. I couldn’t even form the words. I just told him I wanted him out of the house and with his things by the end of the week. He didn’t even seem to care, he almost sounded relieved. I knew he was sitting there listening to me while there was cum inside him from another man. Maybe this is what he always wanted. I definitely didn’t want it. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. My friend told me this was “perfect timing”. That she and a few other friends were headed to a music festival in another city for a few days that weekend, and one of her friends couldn’t go anymore so there was an extra vip ticket. I had never been to a music festival and I tried to tell her I just needed to be by myself and recover, but she wasn’t hearing any of it. “Fuck that, you are coming, and we are going to have a great time. You will see!” They had rented an airbnb for 5 days in the downtown core, just a single train ride with a few stops over to the festival. It was hot and I spent most of the weekend drunk and high. I had never partied before, but my friend and company were prepared. They had a party kit with tons of supplies and most of them spent the weekend high on molly. I abstained, only drinking and getting stoned, until the final night of the festival. My friend was persistent. She said it would be a good time and to relax. Fuck it. I dropped some molly. The final night was amazing and surprising. I ended up making eyes at one of the gay guys in the group while dancing at a slow electronic band’s set towards the end of the night. He made eyes back. He took my hand and led me away to an edge, near some hedges, and we made out. We left the festival early and headed to the airbnb where he gave me a deep blowjob that felt like magic. But, just as I came, all I could think about was Trev getting barebacked while wearing a blindfold. I kept picturing myself in the position. Feeling what he felt. I was a top, only having been fingered a few times, including this night while the other guy blew me. I shot deep into his mouth while thinking about getting cock and jizz deep inside my hold. “Holy fuck dude, you shot so much and your ass really clenched onto my finger. You loved it.” Indeed I did, but I also felt a lot of shame. I woke up feeling awful. Friends and company were already packing up. I had driven a few of us here, but most were taking other rides or planes back home to where they lived. I was driving by myself. I had planned on leaving today, but I felt so awful. My friends saw it in my body and face. “Oh Chad, you look rough.” and “Fuck dude, you should sleep it off. We have the airbnb for two more nights. I was going to stay in the city but I can’t cause of work now. It is already paid for. I heard what happened man, you should stay and chill. Go to the spa or something and just relax. Here are the details.” I had already taken two weeks off work because of the breakup, so essentially, I was free. I said yes and as my friends packed up, and headed out. I was in and out of sleep, unsure of myself, feeling awful, and just happy I didnt have to move. Before leaving, my friend came over to say goodbye as I groaned. “Hey Chad, im heading out. This was a great weekend and I am so glad you came and I am even more glad you are staying for a bit. You deserve a break. Get out there, make some friends, meet guys, have fun. I left you some stuff in the kitchen. Have fun!” She leaned over, gave a kiss on the cheek, slapped my ass, and left. I fell asleep. I woke up hours later. The sky was already getting dark, I was starving having not eaten in 30 hours. I was also really horny. I woke up with a raging hard on and instantly thought about the previous nights blowjob and Trevor getting anonymously fucked. My heart started pounding. I rolled out of bed, with my hard on poking through my underwear, catching the corners of things. I had to piss but I was too hard. I walked into the kitchen, thinking about eating, but even though I was hungry, I didnt have the urge to eat. On the table there was a small bag, and a few bottles of rum. She left me quite the surprise. Inside the bag were 2 pills of molly, a few grams of weed and smoking supplies, and a note. “Have fun, be careful, and let loose. You deserve it. Call me if you need anything.” On the back of the note was the instructions for the airbnb. I eyed the weed. It was late, I wasnt going out. So I grabbed the weed, a bottle of rum, and headed to the patio in my underwear. I sat there, thinking about Trevor, the blowjob, and how my life was collapsing around me. I was 28, relatively good looking, had a good job, but I was no single and in the worst kind of possible way. I smoked and took swigs from the bottle as I watched the sunset. I wanted to crawl back into bed, but my hardon kept coming and going. I was getting pretty buzzed. I grabbed my phone, looked at my hard dick leaking through my undies, and downloaded a few hook up apps. I made a quick profile, using this image, with these details: Shynewlysingleguy: 29 years old, toned, 160lbs, vers top I took the pic quickly, setting it up. Why I wanted to show my ass, im not sure. I just kept thinking about how it felt from Trevors perspective. I didnt look at the apps anymore. I decided I needed a shower and as I walked back into the kitchen, I thought about the molly. I really enjoyed last night. I was shocked that I was even having these thoughts, but I was feeling desparate and horny. The “fuck it” mindset was really being pushed along by the weed and the rum. I set down everything, took off my clothes, reached into the bag and grabbed the two pills, and headed for the bathroom. I stopped in front of the mirror, looking at my body. I looked tired, but nice. I was tanned, and the lack of food and water over the weekend had my body looking so tight. I stared at myself and my cock, cut and pointing up towards my stomach. It was 7inches and average. I was afraid to touch it, feeling like I could cum at any moment. I threw the pills in my mouth, looked at myself directly in the eye, and swallowed. I jumped in the shower and gave myself a deep clean, avoiding touching my cock, but scrubbing everywhere sensually. It felt great. I had felt stoned and a bit drunk and I knew the molly would kick in fast with nothing in my body to stop it. I layed down in the shower letting the water fall on my body. It felt amazing. I laid there touching my body and making my way down to my ass. I lifted my legs and rubbed my hole while thinking of Trevor getting railed. Using soap, I fingered myself and lost track of time. My dick was bouncing and leaking. I could tell I was going to be very high soon so I stopped immediately. No more thinking, no more wishing. I needed to get fucked. I dried off and grabbed the my phone, rum, weed, and a bottle of water and headed to the bedroom, stopped, and turned the other direction. In the basement there was another bedroom, with a separate entrance. This is where I got the blowjob. Both me and the other guy entered this way and something compelled me to head there. If I was going to hook up, this would be the easiest way to do it. I jumped on the bed, pointing my still damp and naked ass towards the door, and opened Grindr. Right away there were messages. Already it was getting hard to function. I was spinning a bit. The molly was kicking in and I felt incredible. I was horny, my dick was rubbing against the sheets I was on. I wasn’t wearing anything and started to feel a bit insecure, but I felt to fuzzy to get up and move. He replied. Whoa. I was staring at the cock in the picture, thinking about the man behind Trevor, who was pounding his ass. Was this what his cock was like? Thick, hard, big mushroom head. Did it feel good? I needed to know. I couldnt bring myself to get fucked bareback. Not yet. I was wanting it so badly, but I just, the thought of a stranger, with the risks involved. I just couldn’t. He didnt reply back. I sat there refreshing the app, looking at other apps, then I got a notification. I had the volume on and the sound almost knocked me over. I opened the app. His message was there. It was then that I knew I needed to get fucked. I typed in the address. I dont know why I said stuff. Was that deliberate? The message took all I had. I was now fully high. I couldn’t write much more. He responded quickly. Suddenly I felt very vulnerable. I also felt nervous and I was shaking. I took a big swig of rum, then went for the water bottle but in my highness, I knocked it onto the floor. Fuck. I rolled over and half slipped off the bed to try and find the bottle that had rolled under the bed. As I peaked under the bed, my head upside down and swirling, I nearly fainted. But I saw the bottle and could reach it. It had rolled up against some clothing, something that the guy who blew me must of left behind. I grabbed the water and the clothing. As I rolled back up on to the bed, the bottle and clothing dropped onto my face. The bottle hurt, bouncing and rolling off into the pillow. But the clothes lingered on my face. They smelled raunchy but incredible. I laid there sniffing them not sure what they were. I opened my eyes and lifted them up. They were a jock, and they were covered in white dried cum. I almost passed out. I looked at the clock at the bedside table and it read 10:26. Almost ten minutes. I had been sniffing the jockstrap for almost ten minutes. I was rock hard and leaking, I needed release, but the jock was too good to ignore. I kept thinking about Trevor, seeing him in a blindfold ass up and taking it, and I was about to do the same. This jock was covered in someone else's cum, left behind, with the same of the encounter. Now I held it, the jock and the shame. I pulled down the jock strap and put it on. I rolled over, covered some of my upper body with the sheets, buried my head in the pillows, and waited. I heard the door open. … more to come.

Part 3: Stealth fucked while on a lay-over. The weekend was wild. I ended up staying at the hotel for a few hours, getting fucked by the guys in the room, hanging out, getting high, then getting fucked again. However, the shame of it caught up to me. At work, I felt like people could tell I was whore. I interpreted every glance as a confirmation that others knew I was a depraved, desperate, dick hungry whore. Shortly after the weekend I picked up a three day pairing that took me across parts of central north america. These pairings often were some fun, but there were plenty of down moments as well, where we would stay overnight in a fairly small town with regional airports. Thankfully, this hotel was close to the downtown and not to far away from the highway. I managed to get through the first two days pretty well, mostly keeping to myself and hanging out at the hotels on my time off. I jerked off a little and got drunk by myself in the hotel room, but the wildness of the previous weekend kept me away Grindr and other apps. By the time we arrived at the final hotel in our third layover, I was getting pretty horny and starting to dream about what might happen when I got home and had 5 uninterrupted days off. Would I be slutty again? I had fully deleted the apps off my phone but I was itching to download them again. The crew I was with headed straight to check-in and all were ready to go to dinner, but I was thinking I might skip. However, the thought of hooking up wasn’t too good either, as our rooms were always close together and having random men coming in and out of my room (and potentially in me), could get me in trouble or at least have them notice or suspect something was up. I got to my room feeling lost and frustrated, figuring I might just be a good boy and stay in and jerk off, when I noticed the bathroom was completely flooded. I couldnt stay here, however the staff downstairs were quick to find a solution. It wasn’t long before I was in a new room, with a much bigger space, and on a completely different floor and area of the hotel. Before long, I was alone again after having let the crew know I was staying in and moved to a different room. I was gifted a bottle of champagne for the trouble of switching rooms and I brought it with me to the bathroom. I figured I might as well have a nice bath. I turned the water up so hot, put on some music and drank champagne in the bath. I grabbed a bottle of poppers in one of the other cities and thankfully, as I am a crew member, my bags are rarely searched, so I didnt have to worry about anything falling out. As I was rooting through my clothes and bags something fell out a pair of jeans I had brought with me and hit the bathroom floor. I was already naked at this point, feeling a bit slutty, but really feeling like I needed to do my best to be good. But all I wanted to do was be bad. I lifted up the items from the floor and saw that what had fallen out was actually a couple of baggies of party favors from a couple of weeks ago. I must have been wearing those jeans out and about and forgotten any of this was there. I had heard stories of crew members smuggling all kinds of shit over the years, but I was too nervous, yet here it was, I had smuggled some powder and pills accidentally on this trip. No sooner did I realize this when I got a text message from the head flight attendant letting me know the delays were starting, it was likely we are going to be here for at least a day and a half. My mind started making decisions really quickly. I couldnt bring these drugs back on the plane, and now I was here for much longer than I anticipated. The tub was filling up, I was feeling a bit tipsy, it was still only 6pm in the evening. There was plenty of time to get into trouble, but also a really great opportunity to be innocent. To be good. To prove to myself that I could just stay in and not hook up. Fuck it. I turned off the tub as it was getting pretty full. I grabbed the pills, looking like a couple hits of molly, and swallowed both with a big swig of champagne. I was in another city, now with too much time on my hands, and a really horny urge to get fucked. I sat down on the edge of the tub and opened grindr. I knew it was going to be a while before I started feeling the effects of the pills. I didnt even touch the powder. There were a bunch of messages. I was taking swigs of the champagne, right from the bottle and touching my dick here and there. Most of the messages were innocent enough, but one account caught my eye. He was 100 meters away, mostly blank profile with some stats indicating he was 45, daddy type, and discreet. I climbed into the tub with the champagne and my phone nearby, and the poppers within reach. I had the lights turned down low and figured I might as well settle in. I opened the message from the 45 year old daddy. Daddy45: “Hey, you are close. In from out of town?” Me: Hey sup? Yeh. here for one night. Daddy45: What are you looking for? Top, bttm? Looks like you might be at the hotel nearby. I figured I still had an opportunity to be good. I could just chat. I could just stay within this hotel room, by myself, get room service, watch tv, and just do my own thing. But already, I was feeling the effects of the drink and some slight tingles from the pills. Working on my feet all day with very little food seems to have set me up for a quick high. Me: Yeh, kinda horny. At a hotel. Vers bttm here. Probably just chatting though. The chat went on like this for a little bit. Mostly small talk. Then he sent a pic of his dick with the message, “really horny here… looking to blow my load. You in? Got a pic?” I didnt respond. I just sat there thinking, fuck. This feels awfully familiar. I could invite him over, maybe just suck him, I dont need to fuck. I also have condoms and lube, so I could just be safe. I could be in control. I didnt need to lose it like last time. Or? I could be a slut. Next to my toiletry bag was my flying kit, in it was a sleep mask that could easily become a blindfold. Fuck. Me: Hrmmm. I would be open to sucking you… I sent him a pic of me in my jockstrap and tshirt, with my face blurred out, side profile, showing my hard cock in the pouch and my bare ass. Daddy45: Room number? I could be there in 10 mins. I paused for a bit. Was I really doing this? I felt mostly fine, mostly in control. Me: Give me 30. I need to clean up. Im in room 803. Door will be unlocked. Daddy45: Cool. Just a quickie cool? Im just looking to get off. Me: Cool yeh. Sounds good. I closed my phone apps and I decided to get cleaned out just in case. Already I was starting to feel swirly. I put on a deep electronic playlist on my phone and drained the tub. I started to feel nervous and was getting shaky like I usually do when I am anticipating being a slut, but I pushed through and started cleaning up. I was much quicker than usual, lack of food probably helped. Even though I gave him 30 minutes, I was ready in 15. I threw on a jockstrap, a tshirt, and grabbed my sleep mask, poppers, drugs, and headed to the main room. I was given a suite with a living area and a bedroom. I laid out on the large couch in the living area and opened up the apps. Grindr had a few more messages. I was fully intending on just sucking off this one guy, but I knew I could go crazy, and I was obviously considering more since I had cleaned out, but there was a little innocent voice inside me saying, “You can be good”. But I needed to be bad. I messaged Daddy45 and told him I was ready. Me: Im done. Ill be in the main area on my knees, blindfolded, and ready to suck you off. Daddy45: Hot. Blindfold eh? Be there in 5. I responded to a few other messages, mostly blank profiles with single word messages. Given it was a small rural area, I figured this was a strong hold for horny closet cases and travellers. The five minutes went by pretty quickly. I decided to watch the app and see what else might happen. I was starting to feel really high by this point and knew that I was headed for trouble. I decided to take a few rips of powder and follow it up with a big swig of champagne. The result was immediate. I felt wild. I saw a message from Daddy45. “Just getting in the elevator. You ready?” My heart was pounding like crazy. My dick was rock hard. And I felt like I was going to burst or melt, all at the same time. I turned off the music, took a few huge hits of poppers. Daddy45: Walking down the hall. You good? Poppers started kicking in. I was feeling ravenous, uncontrollable, and like I was ready to ruin my life. Me: Yeh I am ready. Shove your cock in my mouth. I slipped the mask over my face and threw everything under the couch, just as I heard the door open. I heard footsteps, the removal of clothing, and breathing. He approached me and I sat there mostly motionless, with my hands at my sides with the poppers in one hand. He whispered in a low growl. “Fucking hot”, as I felt him pull my head forward. His rock hard dick hit my face before he shoved it in my mouth with a grunt. I started sucking immediately, long deep sucks, pulling my tongue along the underside of his cock as I bobbed up and down in deep strokes. I arched my back and humped the air slightly, my horniness and highness getting the better of me. He just groaned. I felt him slide his hands down my back and pull at the strap of the jock as he fucked my face. He tasted amazing. He was a little wet, uncut, and average thickness and length. Maybe a bit on the girthy side, but totally manageable. My fav kind of dick to suck because I can control so much of it with each movement. It was delicious. His body seemed fairly solid, beefy daddy type. He pushed in and out, mostly groaning and using one hand on my head, the other to stroke my back and pull at my jock strap. He leaned over a little further as he plowed my mouth and there was just enough room for him to reach my ass checks and hole. He groaned deeply. Daddy45: Fuck dude. You have a hot ass. You wanna get fucked? My inhibitions were slowly sliding away. I tried to pick up the pace on his dick, hoping at least that I could get him to cum and I wouldnt have to respond to his question, but it didnt seem to deter him. He started slightly tapping at my hole before pulling his hand away from my ass. I kept sucking, before hearing him spit and then feeling his hand going back to my ass with his middle finger slipping in. I was pretty high by this point so he didnt face any resistance. Daddy45: Fuck dude, you are so hot. That hole, damn. Turn around and let me see it at least? I kept sucking. I was in a trance of sorts, just focused on getting his cum in my mouth. However, I was losing any sense that I could control this situation. He pulled out and tapped my face and my ass. He spoke again, this time more firmly, “Turn around”. I did as I was told. Things were escalating quickly. I presented my ass to him. I was on the living room floor, now with my elbows on ground, doggy style, with my fresh hole and ass being presented up to a man I have never met before. He seemed to like it. Daddy45: Fuck dude, such a hot hole. I felt a tongue at my ass. Fuck. This was going to be impossible to get out of. I opened the bottle of poppers and took a few huge hits. He noticed and told me to keep hitting those poppers and that he wanted this ass. I felt a tiny shred of innocence still left in me, a thread of not wanting to repeat the mistakes of the past in this current moment. That tiny shred allowed me to respond. Me: “If you wanna fuck me, there are condoms and lube in the bag in the bathroom. Has to be quick though” He just responded with a low grunt and dove a bit deeper in my ass with his tongue before getting up and walking away, presumably to the bathroom to get the supplies. He wasn’t long. I heard the sounds of a bottle being opened, followed by the sounds of a condom wrapper being opened. He was quick though, it didnt take much time at all before I felt the dick head at my hole, with some lube being applied as well. He slid it up and down the crack a few times. I moved my hand back to touch the dick but he pulled away and I heard slick noises as he stroked his dick. Daddy45: Hit those poppers deep. Get ready for me. I did as I was told. Just as I started inhaling I felt him thrust forward and enter me. He did it really roughly knocking me over and onto my chest. I was now face down ass up on the carpeted floor and he was fully on top of me, all of his weight. He just sat there for a few moments, deep inside me and not moving. Daddy45: Ill just fuck for a bit and then you can finish me off by sucking okay? I just groaned. He started slowly pumping. Not pulling out much, just gyrating around in my hole, fully implanted. I was so grateful he was wearing a condom at least. I had some amount of control. I kept hitting the poppers and my mind was flying. As I took some more hits he started pulling out more and shoving it deep again. I could hear his heavy breathing, but also, just next to my head under the couch, I could hear my phone vibrating. Brrrp brrrp. Probably more men who wanted to use my holes. Daddy was breathing heavy, and I could feel sweat from his beefy body coating my back. My shirt was getting wet and my jock strap band on my back felt soaked. He groaned and made guttural noises as he plowed my ass. I just laid there and took it. I started moving my hips a little bit to make his thrusts go deeper. It felt so incredible. Warm, wet, sloppy, and deep. I wanted this and I knew I wanted this from the moment I stepped off that plane. Daddy45: Fuck dude, you love this dont you? He kept pumping, his breathing getting way heavier. Daddy45: Man, this feels so good. You like my balls? You like it deep. Feel those balls slapping against your taint. Fuck yeh. Tell me you want my balls. You want my balls? I just groaned. I had never been asked this before. I had guys last weekend ask me, “You want my load?” and Daddy was asking in a similar tone, but it didnt make any sense. He picked up the pace and started diving deeper. He pulled up off my back slightly, and i could feel sweat dripping down. Daddy45: You want my balls? Yeh, you want them. You want those balls deep. Take them. Fuck yeh. He pushed deep and plowed hard. He stopped slightly, but I could feel him pumping. It felt like a climax, but he kept pumping. He also told me he wanted me to suck him off, so I just assumed he was feeling it. At least he was wearing the condom. He paused and I muttered, “Did you cum?” He just groaned something like “no”, and pulled out. I heard him get up and it sounded like he went to the bathroom and wiped up. I got back to my knees feeling like something wasnt right. I felt different. Full. However, he wasnt long gone and next thing I knew he was shoving his dick in my mouth again. Cept, this time he was sitting on the couch and I was over him. He was slightly soft, but still hard enough. I started sucking and he just laid there. This went on a for a few minutes until he grabbed my head, shoved me down to the base of his cock, and spasmed. He didnt last long and it didnt feel like much, but he came in my mouth, well the back of my throat, and I could taste it. I backed away, coughed a bit, and just kneeled there while feeling my cock through my jock. He got up silently, didnt say another word, just started getting dressed. As he did, I started feeling my ass and hole. It was very wet. I was about to say something when I heard the door click. He left. I took off the sleep mask and felt the room spinning around me. With my other hand I felt my asshole and it was so slick. I shoved a couple of fingers inside me and as I did I felt liquid come out of my hole and land on the carpet. What the fuck? I was spinning a bit but I looked around the room and saw the condom wrapper, but I could see the condom was still inside the wrapper. The fucker stealthed me… and I loved it. He shot a load in my ass when he was going on about his balls and wanting his balls. Clever. I got his balls alright, all their juice was inside my ass. Well, some was in my throat as well. I heard the phone vibrating nearby. I grabbed it and my supplies under the couch and headed to the bed. I laid on my back, fingering myself, while opening hook up apps and sites. I got a load even though I did my best to avoid one. I got a load, even though the innocence in me wanted me to avoid it. I looked out the window from the bed and I could see the storm was staring. Well, I might as well see what else was happening around town. I was now very high, fully loaded, and stuck in this town for at least another 36 hours or so. I might as well let go. Brrp brrp. Blank profile: “You looking? Top here” Me: “Yeh. Hosting now. Come on over…” Sent him my location, room number, and a pic of me laying ass up in the bed I was currently in. Blank profile: “On my way” I guess I was on my way too. On my way to being a slut, even though I told myself I wasnt going to. Again. I hit a line of powder, a huge hit of poppers, then slid the sleep mask down and waited. Here we go again.

Part 2: Inside it was dark, except for porn playing on the tv hooked up to a computer across from two double beds. One bed had nothing on it, the other had some clothes and looked like it was being used. Beyond the bathroom, which was closed but with the light and fan on, was a little counter on top of the fridge. On the counter was a tray with a few types of party supplies, some I knew of, others that didnt look like anything I had done before. There was a metal plate with a bunch of pills on them that were mostly crushed up. I saw poppers, what looked like some molly, maybe some coke, and a few other items in baggies and such that didnt make much sense. I started to feel warm and figured I needed to be quick, so I took off some clothes leaving my t-shirt and jock on while holding my poppers in one hand and the phone in another. I checked Manhunt again. He messaged. Hotel guy: “Get on the bed ass up, face down. You can help yourself to some party supplies if you want. Send a message when you are ready.” I took a look at the supplies, decided to try a rip of what looked like coke, and crawled into the bed. The hit was so intense. So much stronger than I was used to or expected and I had a brief moment where I felt like maybe I made a mistake, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I sent a message but everything felt blurry, I think I wrote, “Ready”, but it could have been anything. I tossed my phone next to my head as I buried them in the pillows, took a big hit of poppers, and groaned as I heard the door to the bathroom open. I focused on the sounds in the room, but it felt like the porn was turned up and I couldn’t hear much. There was a loud and hard smack on my ass that drove my face into the pillows even more. It should have heart, but it felt like electricity and made my whole body vibrate. I groaned again. I could tell that I was grinding my crotch into the bed a bit. I had laid down completely flat, with my legs spread a bit, with my ass cheeks visible. I heard him behind me and I assumed his buddy was there too. I took another hit of poppers and it drove me wild. I started grinding my crotch into the bed even more. I wanted to get used. I felt some fingers pulling my ass cheeks apart and a finger poking at my hole. It was lubed and without much resistance it slipped right in. Instantly, I knew something was different. My hole started to sting a bit, but it also felt amazing. I pushed back on his finger, then his two fingers, and soon… it was three fingers. It felt amazing. I heard him groan and felt him lean in close to my body. As he did I felt someone else, assuming his buddy, reach up around my face and put a blindfold over my eyes. This was kind of everything I wanted in my darkest dreams, but normally id feel too scared to even get close to anything like this. The fingers inside me pulled out then pushed back in. The guy inside leaned over and said, “You like to party right? You seem like you are tweaking pretty hard. This lube should help get you ready for us. I know you want it.” I heard the voice of another guy right after. “He left his phone unlocked. Look at all the apps and sites he has open. Messages from tons of guys. You want us to invite them over?” Even though I was fucked, I knew this could get out of hand really quickly, but all I could feel was the radiating heat and energy in my hole and the many horny thoughts dominating my brain. I was considering replying, or at least trying to, but just as I went to open my mouth, I felt a hand and fingers starting to probe my mouth. From the angle it felt like the hand of the guy who was also in my ass. His mouth was next to my head. “Yeh he does. He is going to let us do whatever we want, isn’t that right?” I groaned. In response he said, “in fact, we are not even going to fuck you right away. We are going to bring someone else over. Look, you got a guy on scruff nearby, he said he is ready to fuck. You want that?” I could only groan. He responded. “Just sent him the room number and I am posting a few ads and on a few forums. Today is going to be the best day of your life. Get ready.” All this time he kept his fingers in my mouth and in my hole. “Don’t worry, we will take care of you. Condoms and lube are here.” Nothing made sense, but I knew I was where I really wanted to be. This was going to be a wild day. Time passed quickly. The guys in the room kept up finger fucking my hole and eventually one of them got me to start sucking. Every now and then I would hear a Grindr notification and/or a vibration of a phone. I wasn’t sure it was mine or theirs. I knew I shouldnt have let them use my phone, but I was too horny and too desperate to care. I got progressively more worked up and eventually I was flying. I could tell I was on some sort of blend of drugs, but I wasn’t sure what. I could still feel the stuff from earlier pretty heavily, but it was all just putting me in a state where I felt like I could barely move, but everything felt amazing. I had enough energy to bring the poppers to my nose, but that was about it. I thought I heard a click of the door opening and closing, but I wasn’t sure. I took a big huff of poppers again and felt the guys move away from me with the dick being pulled out of my mouth and the other guy taking his fingers out of my ass. There was a bit of chit chat with a few hellos and such, but I was so tuned out and rolling that I couldnt really register all of it. I did hear the sound of a belt though as it was being undone and then clinking to the floor. I was exposed, I knew I was being stared at by at least two guys, but probably more, maybe just three, the porn was still playing pretty loudly, and I was grinding against the bed again. Suddenly I felt strong hands pull me back towards the end of bed by the ankles. I was roughly pulled back so my legs fell off the bed and my ass was up. Then, I heard his voice. A new voice. “You ready to get fucked?” Then, the sound of what I assumed was a condom wrapper being opened and some lube. I wanted to get fucked raw, but I didnt really have that conversation with the guys. I didnt really have any conversation with the guys. Just a couple horny messages and then I was ass up and blindfolded in the bed, higher than I had ever been. I kept hitting the poppers. I didnt really need them I dont think, but I was enjoying it so much. The darkness of the blindfold and the sounds of the room were mixing together with the sensations in my mind and my body, making me feel like I was vibrating and endless. I was caught up in the experience when I felt the head of a cock slap my ass and poke at my hole. “Dont clench up. Take it.” Then he thrust in. It would have hurt any other time, but he went all the way in right to the balls in one slick thrust. I was prepared having been fucked a little while ago and then being fingered and likely booty bumped by the guys who had the room. I dont know where they were, but I imagined they were enjoying the show. The guy inside me started to piston in and out. I wanted it raw, but I couldnt really think or speak much. I just groaned. With my left hand I started to reach back. I wanted to feel his body, maybe touch his cock, but I couldnt get there. He grabbed my hand and pulled it up behind my back with force. “No. No touching.” He thrust hard a few times and then threw my arm back towards the front of the bed. I decided to keep hitting the poppers. I heard some chuckles from across the room from what sounded like the direction of the other bed. I was getting fucked and I was being watched liked I was their own personal JustFor.Fans. The guy inside me started pumping deep long strokes, with a fast pump in and a slow pump out. In, with a quick jab, out with a slow pull. I was loving it. He thrust in quickly and started picking up the pace when I felt it. The condom snapped. He paused. I wanted it raw anyway and I didnt want to say anything, so I just groaned. He thrust again, paused, pulled out just so his head was inside me, and held it there. Then thrust in again. I heard more chuckles and sounds of admiration from across the room. I guess they were enjoying the show. The guy inside me seemed to throw caution to the wind and decided to go for it. He started hitting a really deep rhythm and kept it up. He leaned over my body, positioning his arms to the side of me with his head just above mine and little to the right. He was breathing heavy and it sounded like he couldnt quite catch his breath. In, out. In and out. “Fuck yeah” he said, this time from right beside my right ear. “Fuck yeah… take it. Keep it loose.” These words drove me wild and I had a hard time not clenching. “Don’t clench. Keep it loose. The harder you clench, the harder im going to fuck.” Those felt like a challenge I couldn’t avoid. His words were like fire and everything felt like it was burning. I could feel my hard cock straining against the bed and every thrust caused electricity to shoot through my body. I would clench and he would grunt and then slam into me hard. He was getting close. I heard some noise from the other side of the room and then a dick was at my mouth again. I dont know if this was someone new, or one of the original guys. It didnt feel like the dick from before, smaller and cut, but thick and meaty. I was beginning to appreciate its rise in my mouth when I heard the guy inside me groan and plow deep. “Fuck yeah. Take it. Fuuuuck”. He pistoned in and out a few more times, holding himself deep inside me as he did, and then slowly, he pulled out of me. I was pretty sure the condom was shredded and I was just hit with a second load of jizz in my hole. I whimpered on the cock that was in my mouth. I heard a bit of chit chat from behind and I think I heard one guy say, “I couldnt help myself. I hope he is clean.” Followed by the slam of a door and then the feeling of fingers going in my ass. I heard a voice from before, one of the original two guys. “That guy just shot a huge load in you. Did you like that?” as he pushed his fingers inside me. I just groaned. “Yeh bitch. Might as well give you some more.” All I could think was, fuck yeh, this is what I wanted.

Part 1 I had been chatting on Grindr with this guy on and off for a few months. We have met in person, but we never really hit it off. Different friend groups and all that. Now though, I realize, he probably just thought I was a bit of a downer or not that exciting. Our chats started off innocently enough. I had a blank profile, so did he. My side of the chat was definitely hesitant. I hadn’t partied in a long time and aside from some chatting and looking for dates, Grindr wasn’t really a place for me to get what I thought I needed. Perhaps I didn’t really know what I needed? I am a pretty average guy, slim to medium build, at this time in my life I was in my mid-to-late 20's and I had really starting exploring my sexuality. I also was really stuck in the party scene. I started off innocently enough, a few "accidents" or experiments with drugs my friends offered. It was mostly about dancing and having fun and I didn't buy anything myself. I just took what was offered. Soon though, I was buying. I started buying for the dancing and the time with friends, but then I soon started buying with the intent of bringing some home. Eventually, I was partying a lot, a few nights a week. Poppers didnt help. I was able to be relatively tame for the most part, but often found my inhibitions lowered after a bit of coke or a few hits of poppers. I didnt fuck much on molly or anything else, but I knew It was supposed to be fun. I often tried dating and most friends, family, and colleagues assumed I was pretty innocent. Only a select few friends knew I even partied. For the most part, it felt like I was living a double life. I loved chatting online, but mostly just chatted and never took it any further. Having roommates and being fairly broke didn't help. However, I did my best to push my boundaries intentionally in some places, and unintentionally in others, especially if I was high. As the weeks went on, and if I was drinking, stoned, and using poppers, my messages would open up a bit. He sent a dick pic early on, I shared a shot of me standing and in my jock. It was a Tuesday evening when I fully started to open up. He was horny and I was jerking off before bed. He asked, “You ever like to party?” I told him I did, but that it has been a while. We had chatted a bit, mostly small talk, but not taking the convo too far. However, tonight it escalated quickly and I wasn't sure why or how, but I was enjoying the convo. Him: "I wanna get you high and fuck." This hit all the right buttons for me, but in the end, I was still feeling so much guilt and shame about the double life. Me: "That sounds hot. I'm nervous though." Him: "I understand. Would it help if I showed my face? " I was worried I would need to send my face, so I was hesitant. I also love having an anonymous encounter. In the time it took me to consider it, he sent a face photo. Once I realized who it was, I lost interest a bit. I considered blocking him and moving on, but something kept me slightly interested. The fact that I knew him from my day-to-day life, not just the hook up scene, made it feel like I had a confidant. Someone I could share my interests with. He was a hot guy, tall, dark skin, pretty confident but also a bit goofy and I definitely wondered what he was like in bed, but never explored it further. The dick pic he sent early on in our anon chats was a beautiful one. Large, uncut, wet, and ready to point. But it still felt wrong, after a few minutes, I responded. Me: Hey, yeh we know each other. It is Simon. I assumed this would be buzzkill to the situation, but he just kept on with it. Him: Oh hey, so yeh, do you party? At this point I was pretty horny, so I opened up a bit. Sharing my interests, my fears, but also just my lack of experience in general. He ate it up. Him: Fuck man, I want to fuck you. Can I fuck you after you come home from the bar? We can keep the party going. This sounded really hot. It also lined up with how likely it would be that I would actually entertain the thought of getting fucked up and used late at night, after I had been out partying. I told him I was interested, but that I usually lost my nerve. He didn’t care. He kept on. Him: Message me this weekend when you are out partying. I want to feel the build up. When you leave to go home, send me a message and Ill come meet you. I agreed. We set it up for that Saturday night/Sunday morning. At this point in my life I was partying quite a bit so I wasnt worried about it happening, I was more worried at how likely it was to happen. The rest of the week went by and we didnt chat much. I just nervously went through the week, knowing that I was going to be home alone Saturday and Sunday and the conditions were right for me to get used. Saturday evening arrived. I mostly forgot about our arrangement until the end of the night. I got pretty messed up, using some coke and drinking, but headed home before the bar closed. Maybe I did it intentionally, maybe I just forgot and I was tired and needed to rest. Either way I found myself walking home the 20 minutes to get to my place, in the dead of winter, and opening up Grindr. There were a few messages, mostly just intro chats, but nothing from him. I went to our last message and saw that he was online. I thought about writing him, but just as I opened our chat there was a message from him. Him: “What’s up? Ready to meet up?” I told him I was walking home and I was ready. I was nervous, but also, I was just really ravenous for dick. Him: “where you at? Im just getting in a cab, Ill come get you.” I sent him the address and waited. Minutes later he was there. I hopped in the cap and we headed to my place. We didn’t really talk much, but we both had grindr open and we were messaging each other there. Sitting next to him I could feel my hard on growing and I could see his pants were getting tight. Him: “Fuck man, I am so horny. You have me so curious. I want to cum inside you.” Until this point, we didnt really talk about safe sex or taking any precautions. It was also already too late because I was horny and high. I just wrote back, “fuck yeh”, as the car pulled up outside my apartment. He paid, we got out, and we wordlessly walked inside. I led him to the kitchen and said “help yourself, I will be right back. Just gonna take a shower”. Before I could leave he said, “Wait, take this” and handed me two pills. I swallowed them and jumped in the shower. By the time I got cleaned up, I was rolling hard. My body felt electric. I could hear the sound of porn coming from the kitchen. I came out hard and wet and saw him sitting at the kitchen table cutting up lines of powder while watching porn on his phone. It was anon cumdump style porn. I was electric. “You want some?” He said as he took a rip. I walked over and grabbed the straw and hit a few lines. I was flying. While this was happening he was slapping and kneading my ass cheeks. I was naked in the kitchen and he was fully clothed. I turned around and started walking towards the bedroom. I felt like I was floating and it was hard for me to focus. I turned on my computer, booted up a Treasure Island Media cumdump video, put on a jockstrap and grabbed my poppers and then fell face first into the bed. The volume was up really loud and I could barely see, so the sound of men thrusting into the bottoms on the video mingled with my surroundings. I was feeling great. I felt him come up behind me and I realized he wasn’t clothed anymore. I looked back a bit and saw that his cock was rock hard. He spit in his hand and rubbed it up and down his cock. He looked me in the eye, smiled, and said, “Fuck yeh. You want this dont you? You want to get fucked raw?” I could only whimper in response. He entered me. I was too high at this point to remember much of what happened. Just felt so overwhelmed by it all and I was enjoying myself. The sound of the porn, the feeling of his huge cock inside, and the deep and intense feelings of the party supplies had me in a trance. It went on for a while, but it felt like it was over to soon. I don’t really remember when he got off, but suddenly he pulled out of me. I had enough in me to ask “did you cum?” He gasped, and said, “yeh man. I came like 3 times. You are flooded. I gotta go though, gotta meet friends for brunch.” I realized then that it was morning already. I reached back to feel my hole and it was true, I was deeply flooded. I felt loose. I also still felt so horny. Instead of being completely out of it, I was just horny and buzzing hard. He got up and tucked his softening cock into his briefs, pulled on the rest of his clothes and said, “I gotta jet. I left you a few treats in the kitchen”. With that he slapped my ass and walked away. I was left laying ass up in bed, coming down a bit, but still pretty high. I know I got used, but I wanted more. I walked to the kitchen, used the rest of the treats he left behind, and soon felt ravenous again. The drugs, the poppers, and my cummy hole had me flying. I had fun, but I wasn’t finished. I needed more, but I wanted it anon. I crawled onto my bed and played with myself a bit while looking at other guys. I booted up the usual apps and sites and started cruising. It was early morning and the sun was starting to come up, but I imagined there were probably some guys looking to play. Shortly after I got a message from a profile on Manhunt, an older guy who had a photo of his body in boxer briefs, fairly average looking, but a decent size package. His message was short and sweet. Him: “You looking? Buddy and I are in a hotel looking to play with another guy, bttm preferably”. The next round of treats were causing me some difficulty in responding, but I tried my best. I figured I might as well go right in and be honest. Me: “Yeh. Horny here to get fucked anon.” A few seconds passed. He just replied with the address and room number and told me to come on over. I called a cab and started putting myself together. I went to the bathroom to clean up a bit, but I was also struggling a touch. Too horny and high to do anything easily, but I did my best. The cab was there within a few minutes so I pulled on a few clothes, even though I was still wet, some sunglasses, and headed out the door. I managed to pull on a jock strap, some sweatpants, tshirt, a hoodie, and a jacket. As I sat in the cab I tried to think rationally, but I was too warm, horny, and buzzing to feel much else besides lust and hunger for more cock. My clothes felt sticky, maybe from the warmth or maybe from not drying myself off enough. I could feel my cock leaking through the jockstrap and I was fairly sure I was at risk of having a wet spot on the front and back of my sweats. The cabby tried talking to me, but I wasn’t responding much. I just kept refreshing apps. The drive from my place to the downtown hotel wasn’t long, I probably could have walked if I had the awareness or the energy. As the cab started to pull into the hotel, I got another message from the guy off of Manhunt, plus a few other messages from other guys. Hotel guy: “You close? We are pretty horny. Partying a bit here as well, is that cool? How anon do you want it? We can blindfold you?” I couldnt respond much, I just replied “Here. That’s hot. Coming up.” Hotel guy: “Hot. We will wait in the bathroom and you come in and lay down on the bed.” I just wrote back, “Cool. Getting in the elevator.” It didn’t take long. I didnt look at the front desk people, I just floated through the lobby into the elevator. There were a few people hanging about, but mostly I didnt notice. I was too focused on getting to the room before my high wore off. I can get nervous and back out. As soon as the elevator doors started to close I pulled out my poppers and took a bit hit. The elevator moved up, I was headed to the 11th floor, but I only got two floors before it stopped. A family with young kids came in. Where I had taken the hit of poppers, I was reeling. I was so grateful for the sun glasses. I tried to look relaxed and like everything was cool by looking at my phone, but I ended up dropping it. The family said a few words to me but nothing really registered. I bent over to pick up my phone and I felt the strap of my jock pop out of the top of my sweats and show my skin. While bent over, my glasses fell off. Everything was a mess. I scrambled a bit, but as I reached for my phone another hand grabbed it. I looked up and it was what i assumed was the father of the children, who looked me in the eyes as I reached for the phone and we stopped and stared at each other for a second. I started getting hard immediately. It was an awkward moment for me as he looked at me. The elevator stopped and it showed we were on the 10th floor. I heard some noise from who I assumed to be his wife or partner and the kids, and they started shuffling out the door. The other man gave me my phone as the rest walked off, then as they got out he lingered slightly, turned back towards me, and gave me a wink. I felt myself melt. The elevator closed and that was that. Between this floor and the next I pulled myself together as best I could and thought, man, that guy was hot. I wish he was fucking me too. I stepped out of the elevator, rock hard, and when I looked down I could see I was tenting and seeping through. I tucked my dick up into the waistband and opened manhunt to say a message that I was on the floor. No other response, so I decided to head in. I knew what I was getting into somewhat, but I didnt care. I was too high, too focused on getting used, and throwing caution to the wind slightly. I got to the hotel room door, did a final scan for a message, wrote “Im coming in” and opened the door. I wasnt sure what this experience was going to bring, but I was letting go of control. To be continued.